Belaphorde gazed out at the sea with an empty feeling in his stomach. His muscles melted into the park bench. Kaigo was fighting off the seagulls as he protected his sugar-coated churros. They both had their muscles turned to butter after the day’s intense training.

“Want one?”

“Yes, thank you.” Belaphorde took one and, upon feeling the grease and sugar on his fingers, immediately regretted it. He scarfed it down quickly and looked around for napkins.

“Etiquett says you are supposed to lick your fingers clean, but since I know my husband so well, I got you these.” Kaigo held out a fistful of napkins, of which Bel fished one out and murmured a "thanks.”.

"Kaigo, why are we here? You told Valentina we had to leave at five when the dinner isn't until half past seven.”

“Partly because I’m a lazy bastard, but more importantly, I wanted to have a chance to sit down and talk with you before you meet my parents.” Kaigo spoke with uncharacteristic sicenrity. “It might be hard to believe, but I care about my parents. Even if we are just together for convenience, I still ask that you try to be nice with my family.”

“You are right. It’s a bit unexpected.”

“I’m also worried about you. You walk around acting like a zombie and then have an outburst. What’s even worse is that when I talk with Vigo he has nothing but positive things to say about you.”

“Is that so.”

“Yeah. He loves you so much. He is even training so that he can fight by your side. I hope you see how special that is.”

Belaphorde cringed as he was not used to hearing the word “love” be said out in the open.

“Why are you bringing this up?”

“It’s just that I have a bit of a complicated relationship with my parents. Vigo is so cool, and what you have is something special. Yet you always push him away. You stay quiet when we are all together. You never seem to smile or have fun together. I want to make sure that I’m understanding the situation correctly because it seems to me like you want to get away from him. Is there something going on that I don’t know?”

“What?” Belaphorde turned in disbelief. “Everything is fine between us.”

“Then would you be able to say he is your friend?”

Belaphorde sat in silence. It was a simple question, but he could not think of what to say.

“Oh boy. It’s as I feared. You have no clue how to be open or how to have fun, do you?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“No, fuck you! No stoic-boy bullshit. We are sitting here like two manly men and will discuss our feelings!”

“Why? What’s the point? I have had quite enough of listening to you talk down to me and make light of every choice I make.”

“That’s just because every time I say we could go do something fun, you groan and mumble something about hating rich people or whatever. Me and Vigo thought it’d be fun to go take the yacht out, but you hang around like a moody teenager.”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“This is what I didn't want to listen to.”

“Let me finish. Because I want you and Vigo to have some fun before we go out on our suicide mission. I want you to let us know what you would like to do. I want you to put in a bit of effort to let me in. The truth is, I have not spoken to my family in a long time. I’m scared, and I want you to help me out so I can connect with them, even if just a little bit. And I want to help you in return because Vigo won’t ever ask anything of you.”

A ninja seagull jumped to attack and took the whole wrapper of churros out of Kaigo’s hands. Kaigo and Belaphorde looked at his empty hand in disbelief of the aduascity and swiftness of the gull. The tension between them suddenly disappeared as Kaigo laughed his ass off. Belaphorde hid his upturned mouth behind a clenched hand.

“Dude totally deserved that. He saw an opportunity and went for it. Mad respect.”

“Indeed.”

“But for real, what do you say?”

“I don’t know what to say. You have correctly analysed that I’m not comfortable here. Spending money, leisure time, and the lifestyle of the city feels wrong. It’s nothing like the things I know.”

“Alright. I’ll ask you plenty of questions, and we can figure out what you are like and what you like-like. Hell, if I was taken somewhere without wifi, speakers, all my stuff, friends—yeah, I might rot and have no clue what to do.”

“Don’t act like you have any idea what it’s like to be me.”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to compare. Urgh.”

“Apology heard,” Belaphorde scoffed.

“Damn, always such a hardass.”

“You wanted to talk, and for some ungodly reason I go along with your ideas, so what is it you want to ask?”

“For starters, I have been dying to know if you are gay.”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

“Nothing. I’m just super curious. I mean, we are husbands for crying out loud. And an Esper-Guide pair. Everyone knows one of the most effective Guiding techniques is to bang. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Are you or are you not down to fuck guys?”

“Sex, just like Guding, is an act of dominance. People do it because they get off on it or just to have something to do. Men. Women. Other. Dosen’t matter.”

“Wait. Hold up. It sounds to me like you don’t like Guding or sex. You are doing the thing again where I ask what you like and I only get some vague negativity!”

“If it’s so easy, please clarify how you would identify yourself.”

“Trans-man. Bisexual. Top-leaning switch. Furry. Horny all the time. Mega queer.” The baffled look on Bleaphorde’s face made Kaigo swell with pride. It was fun to mess with the boy with zero internet culture.

“Let’s go back to the question: Does the great Belaphorde fuck?”

“Yes.”

“With men?”

“It has happened.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

Belaphorde was about to answer "no” as a memory resurfused. He was a teenager in the Outskirts, always on the lookout. It was a dangerous place, and he knew what people thought of Guides. He hated being seen as cute. An easy target. He never slept with any Espers. Never fell for anyone. But he had tried a few things in hidden places.

“This will get us nowhere. To give an answer, I do not enjoy being a Guide. You can imagine yourself how it would be if you had no powers of your own. No way to fight but to let yourself be used. I didn't choose this. But there’s nothing to be done about who I am.”

“You feel stuck, like you were made wrong and there’s no way out. Everyone looks and talks about you in a certain way that makes you gag and panic, but you don’t believe there’s anything to be done about it.”

“Not exactly right, but not wrong either. Is that how you have felt?”

“Yeah, that is the trans experience.”

Belaphorde went silent. He really didn't want to talk about these sensitive topics. He himself hadn't thought about any identity things; it was a passtime for privileged people. He thought this though he knew it to not be true. He had seen stories play out in the Outskirts. It was dangerous to be different; dirty, weird, and deviant. He felt that familiar empty pit open up within him whenever uncomfortable topics and memories came knocking at the edge of his mind. A small part of him wanted to continue to open up to Kaigo, but that part was quickly frozen over.

“I see.” Belaphorde answered curtly with a dull look.

“If it helps, I don’t see Guides as less than Espers. Hell, with how strange you are, I’d believe it if you were a category of your own. Ain’t no Guides going around strangeling people!”

Belaphorde ramined motionless. Kaigo slumped back into the bench and sighed when no reply was given.

“Clamping up for today? Fine. Just keep in mind that I will continue to ask if you are gay until I get an answer. And also try to figure out if there’s anything you actually want to do for fun. If you can’t be open with me, at least try to be genuine towards Vigo. He deserves it. And thanks for coming along with me. If there’s anything I can do for you in return for seeing my parents, then I’d be happy to oblige. Perhaps do something for the Outskrits people since you continue to think about them all the time.”

Belaphorde thought for a while. Kaigo was a celebrity here. They could get a few eyes on the injustices of Kaleido. “Perhaps,” he murmured. He didn't want to think more. “I’m going to take a walk. Call me when it’s time to go.”

“Fine. I can see you are putting in some effort, even if your whole sad-boy bit is infuriating. Have some alone time, and I’ll pick you up with a nice change of clothes later.”

Belphorde stood up and walked away as Kaigo waved goodbye in the most dramatic way he could. “Goodbye, my hero! Don’t lose yourself in the dark ocean of your soul, oh!”