Deserted suburbs of Gary, Indiana
2 years ago
11:42 AM
A disheveled man in his late 20s patiently waited outside a humble McDonald's, reading some superhero comic. His clothes had that uncharismatic aura of homelessness, along with a short mohawk, black tinted sunglasses that were cracked in the lenses- yet still intact, as well as ripped grimy denim jeans, callused hands, chapped lips, skin that rarely saw god's radiance, as well as combat boots that were torn from many years of use.
The last customer walked out of the restaurant.
*"And it looks like we shall continue this... in the next issue"* spoke the stranger to himself.
The imp slithered his way, making his presence known in a casual, "normal", everyday manner.
He came up to the counter with his arms raised as if greeting a relative
"Why hello there!" he greeted towards the zombie at the cashier.
His voice was one of shrill and vigor. More akin to a goblin or an odd tangle of vocal chords rather than a mouse's type of voice.
"How are you!" he continued
"Good. how can I help you sir."
"How can you help me? Well I'll be! I actually do need help today haha!"
The cashier rolled their eyes.
"Say, you got that new double triple chungus deluxe right?"
"..."
"Nah! nah don't worry I'm kidding- come on, lighten up hahahah!"
The cashier stood silent
"So I saw that there's this new burger on the menu eh? it looks real good and has a cute little flag on top of it, ya know?"
"Yes, the limited time only guacamole bacon burger." repeated the cashier, obeying their capitalist mission to spread juicy new meals to the customers.
"Yeah, that one!" replied the stranger
"Say by any chance did you uh... happen to eat it yet?"
"No sir. It just came today sir."
"Ahah well no worries, I'll just give it a whirl."
After paying $18.93 for a preheated, all ready burger that's been sitting for a good half day, he sat down.
He took a bite.
After not eating for the past four days, the stranger took a bite.
His happy, humble, hungry bite morphed into a bitter sweet cringe.
This guacamole. Its a day old.
The bun has been smushed to paste.
The meat is half baked.
The lettuce is from Taco Bell.
These fries are cold.
This cheese is half melted.
The bacon is *also* cold.
They put half the god damn tomato in here.
No.
Nononononono.
My pain will not be paid by mediocrity.
He stood up and sauntered over to the counter with a disappointed smile
"Hi, its me again now- I know you're only doing your job right, and I hate to be a bitch right, but that sandwich was a bit um... crappy right. Can I simply get a new one? I only took a single bite see?"
The cashier rolled their eyes, put their phone down and called over the manager.
"Can I help you sir?"
"Hey I was a little dissatisfied with my sandwich. Do you think I could get a new one?"
"I'm sorry sir but due to supply issues, we cannot give you a free meal. However, we can give you a 10% off discount for your next purchase."
The stranger's eye twitched.
"..."
"Sir?"
A bloody scene took place in his mind. His eye spazzed out as the carnage unfolded before his skewed vision. A calling from the powers that be that supported his mentality. Permission to punish these greedy and lazy swines. Judgement *WILL* strike upon thee. To grant you this escape sooner rather than later IS an act of mercy and salvation, you shall NOT deny your fate by your phony god, you WILL be thankful for this bladed spoon that shall feed your soul its eternal damnation, you WILL-
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"..."
"Sir."
"Hm?"
"Did you understand what I said?"
"Ah why y-yes. I'll just... take another Guac bacon burger."
"Ah alright sir, it'll be $18.93."
"WOAH-woah-woah wait- I thought you said it was 10% percent off the next purchase? What gives?"
"Sorry sir, any new items are excluded since its a limited time only item. Limited time meals are already discounted. Excuse the inconvenience."
The stranger dozed off into a distant stare for a solid 12 seconds; drool pooled out of his mouth.
"Sir?"
"Oh no. That's fine. I understand" he finally replied with a soft smile.
A freshly cooked burger later, he sat down again.
He took a bite.
Guacamole. Its a day old.
Bun. Smushed.
Meat. Cooked rare
The lettuce is from Taco Bell.
The fries were co- its the same its all the fucking SAME.
A bulging vein made itself clear on the stranger's forehead.
He walked on over to the cashier.
"HI!"
He whipped out his colt 1911 out of his green jacket and aimed its barrel square at the cashier's head
"HOW IS YOUR DAY? I WANT A GUACAMOLE BACON BURGER. AND I WANT IT PERFECT, JUST LIKE THE POSTER OUT THERE. I WANT IT SPOTLESS, I WANT IT SO SPOTLESS IT BRUSHES MY TEETH AS I EAT IT, I WANT IT SO SPOTLESS IT CLEANS MY ASS AS I SHIT IT OUT 2 HOURS FROM NOW, I WANT THAT FUCKING BUN TO SHINE BRIGHTER THAN THE BRIGHT LIGHT THAT YOU SAW WHEN YOU CAME OUT OF YOUR MOTHER- YEAH REMEMBER THAT? THAT BRIGHT LIGHT? GOOD! BECAUSE YOU'RE THIS FUCKING CLOSE TO SEEING IT AGAIN, RIGHT?"
The cashier's jaw quivered and quaked as they wet their pants. They attempted to duck and run and scream and punch and slap and dodge and pray,
yet to no avail.
Finally, they made their final attempt at moving their body.
Their body told them to open the cash register, and start giving the money to the stranger.
"What are you doing"
"W-What?" asked the teary eyed cashier
"What the fuck are you doing?" asked the the confused stranger
"G-Giving you the money???"
The stranger pinched the bridge of his nose in disappointment.
The entire restaurant stood still, as the powers that be contemplated in ruining this shithole right here right now.
"Thats not what I want.
For the last time.
I want a Guacamole Bacon Burger. As it is on the poster outside. I want it perfect and with everything. Yes-that means it needs to have the flag on it. The flag was the entire reason I wanted this retarded burger in the first place. It looks cute and it brightens my mood. Please and thank you. Also, no pickles."
The stranger handed over a $20 dollar bill.
"Keep the change" he grumbled as he intently stared at the kitchen staff and manager making the most pristine suburban gourmet cuisine possible.
"And make this one to go."
Finally, the stranger left the McDonald's. A smile on his face and no blood on his hands. After observing the staff the entire time and looking exactly like the poster, this should suffice.
There he stood, opening up his bag, unwrapping the foil, and took a bite.
A soft smile as the warmth of the meat graced his tongue. The guacamole complimenting the salty bacon ever so softly, a mating ritual that blessed his tongue.
Hm
"How about that!" he chuckled to himself
"And even THEN..."
"It STILL tastes like shit!"
He pointed up to the sky and wagged his finger
"You... You're a funny one, you!"
"That being said, I understand your message loud and clear" he continued in a softer tone, changing his pointing gesture into an open hand.
An eye carved into his palm glowed red with bloody tears.
"This mission is for me, and me alone. Your word is my command, and your judgement is my voice."
"ֆօɖօʍ'ֆ ֆɨɢɨʟ"
Inside the restaurant, after the manager had finished calling the police, they proceeded to rip the telephone out of its socket and start slamming it on one of the cook's faces, bashing it into a bloody pulp. The other cooks sprayed frying oil all over their other adversaries. The cashier attempted to lunge themselves towards one of the cooks, only to have their momentum diverted head first into the drive through window, crunching their neck upon the pavement. Stabbings, bitings, clawings, and arson ensued as all the employees fought against eachother with abhorrent bloodlust.
Solomon Belko walked away as he heard the tune of his seed play out behind him.
"Nice"
.
.
.
14 minutes later, the police arrived. It seemed it took a while for anyone to notice the carnage of what was happening inside the restaurant.
Half of the building was already in flames.
Couple of days later, CCTV footage caught footage of the event.
Only to reveal that there was no physical person to be seen.
Though the thing that stumped them the most, was that the objects that the employees seemed to hand out floated and disappeared.
How odd indeed.