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Grin the Cheat
A Taste For Poison - Part 2

A Taste For Poison - Part 2

The stairwell deposited us on a wooden jetty that extended over an underground lake covered in a thick mist. The water gave off an eerie silver glow, suffusing the mist with a white light which both allowed us to see, and walled us in.

This was the source of Brume’s great wealth, said to rival even that of the Four Great Cities. The only water this far into the sand lands meant all traders travelling between the Great Four, criss-crossing the vast desert known as The Heart of the World with their huge caravans, had to make Brume part of their journey.

A craft waited for us at the end of the jetty. A spindly-limbed old man who would have been nearly Allard’s height if he weren’t hunched over, stood at one end of the boat with a long pole gripped in his gnarled hands. His eyes were milky white and drool hung from his lips.

“This is Jorn, our ferryman,” said Mayor Grantham, his voice carrying traces of irritation and his eyes constantly returning to glare at Allard when he thought he wasn’t looking. 

Allard, for his part, kept his focus on anywhere but the mayor, although the way he fingered the pommel of his swords, he was probably fully aware of the attention.

“He’s blind, deaf and mute,’ continued the mayor, “but nobody knows their way across the water better. He’ll get you to the temple entrance.”

The craft wasn’t more than a couple of planks of wood nailed together. The sides barely kept the water out.

“Right,” said Big Boy. “We’ll go across first, take care of the spider-woman, or whatever she is, then we’re out of this shit-hole. Have the bounty waiting for us. The rest of you, don’t get in our way and we won’t have any problems.”

He gave me a leery look and then stepped gingerly onto the bottom of the boat. His companions joined him. They stood there, bobbing up and down. After a few moments Big Boy realised they weren’t going anywhere.

“How do we get this thing moving if he can’t hear?”

The mayor stepped forward and grabbed the ferryman by the wrist. The claw-like fingers sprang apart and the old man held out his hand as if asking for payment. The mayor placed three of his fingers on the centre of the palm, then one, then three.

The old man snatched back his hand and immediately pushed off with his pole. The three passengers uttered various curses, wobbling comicall as the craft disappeared into the mist.

“What happens if they kill her before we get there?” Allard asked me.

I turned to the mayor. “What do you think, Mayor? Will those three get the job done?”

The mayor shrugged his shoulders. “I really think you should all work together.”

“See?” I said to Allard. “They’ve got no chance.”

Allard turned away, stamping his feet like he was cold. It wasn’t like him to get anxious.

“All right if we go next?” said Corgis, the uglier of the two guttersnipes, my ranking being based on number of boils per face.

“Sure,” I said. “Take the kid with you.”

The boy shot me an angry glare. “I work alone,” he said, lips twisted into a snarl.

“Fine,” I said, “but you can share a boat ride can’t you? Sooner you get across, the sooner you can kill the spider-witch.”

He didn’t have anything to say to that, but continued to glare. With some people reputation is useless. Especially if they’ve never heard of you.

After a short wait the craft returned, gliding out of the whiteness. The old man stuck the pole deep into the water and turned at the very last moment so he was sideways on as he nudged against the end of the jetty.

The three ahead of us clambered aboard. The mayor gave the signal and off they went.

Allard was even more antsy as we waited this time. He kept looking around and huffing.

“Are you feeling all right?” the mayor asked, his irritation now sounding more like concern.

“I didn’t mean to eat all your precious pears. You should have told us they were special.”

“My fault entirely,” said the mayor. “I’ve just never seen anyone eat that many. They can cause ... cramping. Are you sure you don’t feel anything?”

“I’m fine,” Allard said somewhat testily, and then turned to make a big show of keeping watch for the boat.

“So, this Dalyan spider-witch,” I said to the mayor. “You’ve seen her? With your own eyes, I mean.”

The mayor grimaced. “We had an infestation of giant moles. A herd of them, came straight out of the temple walls, blind as our own Jorn, but deadly. They killed many of our men. Then this woman appeared and claimed to be the last of her kind, looking for a place to stay. Food and lodging, that was her price to clear the temple. It seemed more than reasonable. I should have known better. After she killed the moles, she killed anyone who entered the temple. I was the one who let her in there. It’s my fault. Why she chose to stay in there, I cannot say. My only desire is for her removal before she desecrates the temple any further.”

He hung his head, a pained expression on his face. It was a beautifully performed speech. Well rehearsed. I didn’t believe a word of it.

The craft returned once more and Allard jumped on board, nearly capsizing the damn thing. I followed, although not quite as eagerly.

“Good luck,” said the mayor. “Please don’t break any of our religious artifacts.”

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I waved ta-ta. Allard only scowled.

Once we got away from the jetty, the mist quickly enveloped us. Large rock formations rose out of the lake, but our sightless pilot navigated around and between them without slowing.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked Allard.

“Do you think he can hear us?” Allard said, pointing at the old man.

“It doesn’t matter. When we get to the other side, we’re going to kill him.” I watched for any reaction. Nothing. “No, I don’t think he can hear us.”

“What about the mayor? Do you trust him?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Me neither. He’s up to something. People who act all polite and generous one moment, and then go crazy as soon as you eat some of their fruit, you can’t trust people like that.”

“You’re still annoyed about that?”

“I’m not annoyed. He didn’t have to make such a song and dance about it though, did he? Right in front of everyone. It’s not like I didn’t leave any food for the rest of you.”

“You did eat all the pears.”

“Yes. And I wish I hadn’t.” He put a hand on his ridiculously chiselled stomach muscles. “I don’t feel good.”

He didn’t look good either. Even in the dim light, I could tell his face was swollen, an obvious indication he wasn’t reacting well to the desert pears.

I stuck my fingers into one of the pouches hanging from my belt and took out a pinch of sawdust.

“Here,” I said to Allard, “smell my finger.” I stuck my finger under his nose.

One sniff and he was bent over the side of the boat puking his guts up. The sawdust was mixed with dried mong fish, easily the foulest smelling thing I’ve ever come across. It was the best way to cleanse a body of any impurities; quickly and from both ends.

Allard stood up, rocking the boat from side to side, unbuckled his sword belt letting both swords clatter to the bottom of the craft, then pulled down his britches.

“Ah no, what have you ...” He crouched down with his arse hanging over the side, and groaned loudly as the water churned under him.

“People drink that, you know,” I said.

“Don’t care,” he said, grimacing. “They can enjoy the added flavour.”

All the while our ferryman kept on punting, unaware of the act of horror happening right under his nose. He did sniff the air suspiciously a couple of times.

After a few minutes, stone steps appeared ahead of us, rising out of the water and leading to a large archway. Torches guarded the entrance and provided enough light to see the carvings of warriors fighting creatures with leonine heads. There were no signs of the others.

I hadn’t bothered to ask which deity the temple was dedicated to. They tended to be much of a muchness: some being with extraordinary powers who only used them when you weren’t around. Judging by the scenes of mayhem that covered the arch, some kind of good versus evil mythos. Although it wasn’t clear if the art was in celebration of the men or the monsters.

Allard jumped off the boat clutching his stomach. At least he had pulled up his britches. I put one foot out of the craft, soaking my boot up to the ankle, and grabbed the old man by the wrist. He opened his palm as he’d done for the mayor. I took out a dagger and nicked the old man’s palm with the tip of the blade. The paralytic poison took effect immediately and he collapsed in a heap, his knees making an unhealthy series of cracking noises as he went down, the pole still in his grip.

Allard gave me a questioning look. “Is he dead?”

“No, I just want to make sure he’ll be here when we come back.” 

“Perhaps we should kill him. He might raise the alarm.”

“Don’t worry, he won’t be doing anything for a good long while.”

We passed through the temple entrance into a long passage lit by small braziers mounted in the wall. The soft orange light flickered in the steady stream of air blowing past us.

Allard peered into the gloom. “How far to the main chamber?”

“I don’t know,” I said, looking at the map. “There’s no scale on this thing. The first trap is at the end of this passage.”

Allard stepped forward, there was a click and we both threw ourselves flat on the ground.

Darts fizzed over our heads, bounced off the opposite wall and clattered onto the floor. I got on my knees and picked up a few. They were about the length of a finger with green feathers. The sharpened tips were coated with a blue goo. I slipped a few into a pouch. You can never have too many poisoned darts.

Allard rose to his feet and brushed himself off. “This map, not so accurate then?”

“Wait here,” I told him and went back to the boat where the the old man waited immobile. It took some effort, and possibly a couple of broken fingers, but I got the pole out of his grip. I pulled it out of the water and found it to be much longer than I thought, at least as tall as Allard and half as much again.

“What’re you going to do with that?” he asked when I returned.

I let one end drop onto the floor in front of me. As I walked, the far end slid across the ground, hopefully setting off any traps well before we reached them. Allard shook his head dismissively, but stayed behind me all the same.