Ceyda bustled back to the fence, hair blowing in her face from the wind. She couldn’t be angry. She just had to be sweet. And nice. And kind. And fucking generous to those stupid boys and their stupid lies and their stupid Opal.

She banged on the wooden door.

Opal opened the door immediately, and looked down at Ceyda.

“Why are you still harassing us?” Opal said.

“I have an announcement for everyone!” Ceyda huffed. “And it is vital they hear it now.”

“It can wait for another day,” Opal replied.

“Dorskina!” Ceyda yelled, and her voice took on several magnitudes. “I have an announcement! And I will be very loud and no doubt grab the attention of every guard, nearby mage, of which there are at least two, and bystander until I am heard!”

“Sacred skies, are you stupid?” Opal hissed.

“Hey, get her in here!” Danette’s voice called from inside the walled off area.

Opal forcibly gripped Ceyda by the shoulder, dragged her inside, and slammed the wooden door shut.

The inside was quaint in a way Ceyda was not expecting. Candles were along the crevices of the house that they had all congregated behind, and food was sprawled out across several blankets and tables. The left overs of what Ceyda had stolen, as well as some more she did not recall stealing.

Merlin gave a cough, looked down at his table, and was suddenly very preoccupied.

Well, that was fine. They didn’t have to like her.

“I’m going to go back to the basement where you first imprisoned me, and learn magic. It’s going to be very amazing and there will be explosions, I’m sure,” Ceyda said. “If anyone wants to learn magic alongside me, I’m doing that. Tonight.”

Uhhh. Ceyda. We can start the process but them learning magic is a bit of a. A Guess. More than a confidently stated fact.

“I am being completely honest, I have no idea if it will work or not, but magic is amazing, and we all deserve to at least take an attempt. I’ve already told Lyle how magic works,” Ceyda said, squinting as she tried to find the other idiot boy who sucked a lot.

“Can you really teach them magic?”Opal asked. “I know you keep acting like anyone can cast magic, but are you sure the power isn’t just corrupting your chatelaine head? You’re special, right?”

“I am incredibly special, thank you for noticing,” Ceyda beamed.

“Uh, Ceyda talked a bunch about rituals and shit,” Lyle chimed in. “It’s stuff we could do. Apparently you can become magical by getting high.”

No that is not what I said and that is not what Ceyda said that is a misinterpretation of Quasinonce’s domain.

“Can we--can we actually get magic from getting high?” Gilbert cut in.

“If it was that easy I should have magic pouring out of my ass,” Aster chimed in.

The miscommunication. It burns me. Ceyday why.

“Doc would like to inform you it is far more complicated than what is being inferred!” Ceyda said.

“You said we couldn’t learn magic,” Danette said slowly.

“I was--” Ceyda paused as she stopped herself from saying lying. “--deeply misinterpreting the facts I had been given. And I think that if we do not try, we will continue to have inaccurate information.”

“Have you been lobotomized?” Opal asked. “If we are somehow, miraculously, taught magic, we’ll be targets for the mages, and we won’t be as powerful as you. Unless you’re implying we are going to be taking your spell book’s power.”

“There are two mages hunting me down already, and if you want to kick me out for that reason, then that’s probably a better reason than whatever weird gossiping you were doing before,” Ceyda replied.

Someone in the group coughed.

Opal narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean? I thought you got away?”

“Surprisingly, humans probably have movement even after they are out of eye sight. Unless they are dead. They could be dead, but I have no such knowledge of that,” Ceyda said.

Merlin made a stressed noise. “So if we can’t learn magic we could all die.”

“Technically you could all die the moment you decided to be a rebellion! But regardless! I am leaving now! Follow me if you wish! All pillars and chisels are welcome! And if it’s truly impossible, then I can at least teach you the spells the mages were using, so you can possibly get used to dealing with them!”

With that, she flourished her arms as if she had a cape, turned around, and left the small, simple garden area.

Her heart was pounding. She had no idea how that worked, but she certainly felt like she had given off the indication of existing beyond the strange situation.

There were mumbles behind her. Ceyda glanced over her shoulder to see how many people were interested in learning from her.

Everyone Ceyda had talked to was there, and then some. Aster, Lyle, Gilbert, Danette, Merlin, Natalia-- almost everyone but Opal.

Ceyda beamed, and tossed Doc the book up in the air in small celebration.

Well. I’ll be damned. That was impressive. Now we just need to see how this works out. Because uh, you sort of skipped about five steps there Ceyda.

Ceyda didn’t respond. Instead she returned to Whiskey Street and led her small crowd into the basement.

“Let’s set up a beacon!” Ceyda said, tossing the book onto the floor.

Nothing happened.

“Dorskina!” Ceyda ordered.

A bright light shone, but nothing else.

The others behind her groaned and hissed as their night vision was obliterated.

Hey, Ceyda…

"Yes, Doc?” Ceyda asked.

So, I just totally thought of something that might work.

Ceyda brightened. “What is it?”

I just remembered, this spell totally works on the power of friendship.

“Friendship powers magic?” Ceyda exclaims.

...yes. That is most definitely what it does.

“You don't sound very convinced of this,” Ceyda replied.

This is very hard, Ceyda just bear with me. Just get everyone to form a circle.

“Doc says form a circle!” Ceyda ordered. “And you must hold hands!”

I didn’t say th--you know what that’s a good idea. Make them hold hands. Tell them they have to agree to hold each others hands and love each other in gross platonic ways.

“As you hold hands, please state how much you like holding each other’s hands and how much you love each other,” Ceyda said.

“That’s kind of homoerotic,” Aster said.

“Hah, you said erotic,” Merlin teased, as Aster snickered.

Teenagers. I hate them.

“Is it all right if they erotically hold hands?” Ceyda asked.

I don't even know what erotically holding hands would look like

Ceyda looked into the distance. “Well I assumed it would mean you’d do it close so your entire lower and upper arms are touching to bare skin while your fingers are intertwined and your thumb is rubbing over the other person’s hand.”

“It was just a joke! I was making a joke!” Aster said defensively.

“Sure it was, Aster,” Lyle said.

“Well you brought it up, I was just trying to help,” Ceyda said with a huff.

“Yeah like you helped Aster’s dick last night!” someone Ceyda didn’t know yelled out.

There was a sudden silence.

The book vibrated in anger.

I have spells. We don’t need this shaming. Just throw me at him.

“Well, I didn’t have sex with Aster, so I’ve never touched his dick, but if he wants help with it, I could see what the book has. Do I have spells on dick problems?” Ceyda asked.

Danette let out a raucous chuckle and covered her mouth.

...well there’s Thelloya. There’s Haidolah. But. Technically. If you have had enough sex...yes. Gretian could in fact give you uh. Dick related spells.

“I probably do have spells!” Ceyda beamed. “Aster do you need help with your dick?”

Aster turned beet red. “No’m.”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

“And what about you, vaguely blurry person who I have never talked to before and thus know nothing about and can only assume you were asking because you too, have a problem with your dick?” Ceyda asked, turning to the first caller.

The boy twisted his face in what Ceyda could only assume was disgust. “Don’t you have any self respect?”

“Loads. It’s why I got the magic book. Because I don’t say mean things about people in front of everyone,” Ceyda replied.

Wow that’s such an astute observation Ceyda maybe we should look into that further.

“Oh, no Doc, that was a joke. I was making a joke because this is a friendship spell, and some people have been profoundly unfriendly to me, and instead of talking to me, since I am still technically kidnapped, they just talked around me and expected me to know what was going on!” Ceyda cut in.

“Uh. you are aware we can hear what you say to your book, right?” Danette said slowly.

“Yes, that’s why I said it so plainly.”

Lyle coughed.

“Weren’t we here to do a magic spell?” Merlin asked, pushing his glasses up with his shoulder.

“Yes! Are we ready to do a magic?” Ceyda asked.

Please don’t call it that ever again.

The others nodded.

“Fuck yeah, social drama is lame anyway,” Lyle chimed in.

“Wonderful!” Ceyda beamed, and stepped into the circle, forcibly grabbing Merlin’s hand on one side of the circle, and another person on the other.

The grimoire in the center of the circle started to glow.

Ceyda, have them repeat after you-- we, the ritualists

"Repeat after me!” Ceyda ordered. “We, the ritualists--”

A chorus of repeated sound filled the small basement.

Hold our hearts in our hands.

“Hold our hearts in our hands”

And pledge them temporarily to forge this bond

“And pledge them temporarily to forge this bond”

To create a pillar of magic, for training, living, and health.

The words had barely left Ceyda’s mouth when the entire circle started to glow a vibrant pink. Whoops and calls echoed across the group.

To be cared for, maintained by, and made by Ceyda Lucrece and her close allies

A pillar of brilliant pink light shone upwards, blinding Ceyda’s glasses.

And so a bond was made--and now we break it, for our ritual is done.

Scattered yellings shouted out the fragmented words as Ceyda stuttered them out.

Almost everyone was far too distracted by what they had in front of them.

The spell had worked. The beacon erected in a violent light, encompassing the entire basement in a brilliant light.

The magical pillar died down. Doc explained it was still there, just inactive. Since what they were doing was just having people train and practice, it didn’t really require all the energy they first saw.

“So. What happens now?” Merlin asked as he waved his hands through the faint pink clouds in the room.

This is a bit rudimentary, but we should be able to set them up with spells to cast. It won’t be their magic, it will be yours, but it might...I dunno, rejigger their messed up meat bodies? It will at least give them a taste for it, even if it can’t leave the circle.

“I’m going to give you my spells and you can throw them at each other,” Ceyda said.

“Sweet!” Lyle called. “Me first!”

After fumbling and a prolonged back and forth from Doc and Ceyda, Lyle was standing in the center of the circle, holding his hands out wide.

“Dorskina, grant me the grace to extend my senses!” Lyle chanted.

Ceyda felt an odd tingly sensation, and moments later, Lyle was giggling madly.

“What? Did it work? Move! I’m next!” Danette yelled, shoving Lyle out of the way.

It didn’t take long for everyone to start slowly casting small spells. Lights, extended senses, and then ultimately, an hour long game of lobbing chunks of raw magic at each other as if it was a snowball fight. Whenever someone was hurt, truly and utterly, they edged to the corner, where the magical pillar couldn’t reach, and their injuries promptly vanished.

They then proceeded to jump back in, and go straight back to trying to nail each other in the heads, chests, and groins.

Eventually, they tired, and one by one the young rebels left the basement, nursing phantom wounds.

One person remained behind--Merlin.

“...hi,” Merlin muttered to Ceyda.

“Hello Merlin,” Ceyda said. “I do not wish to have sex with you.”

Merlin blushed and covered his face in his hands. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because there are rumors and evidently I have to be completely clear with what I intend to do with someone so there is no miscommunication,” Ceyda said. “Book orders.”

That certainly is a way to interpret the advice I gave you.

“Oh. Well. Look I was just stressed and venting and--I didn’t think it would blow up into that,” Merlin wrung his hands.

Ceyda sighed and sat down in the dark basement. “I am not trying to be a bad person, you know. I am almost always honest. I am not doing whatever Opal says I was. Nobles don’t even like it when you sleep with people! Evidently that’s an opinion everyone shares.”

Merlin shifted his weight awkwardly. “Could I ask the book a question? If that’s all right?”

“You may.”

“Can you… change sexes, with magic?”

Ah, I figured it would be that.

“Why do you figure?” Ceyda asked.

Tell him that Thelloya was popular for changing your body in that way, but there were other ways. Thelloya was risky, but Gretian and Esterath had safer, if less whole-changing alternatives.

“Wait--” Ceyda said, not passing the message along. “You mean people in your time just changed what their sex was, willy nilly?”

“They did?” Merlin asked, wide-eyed.

Some of us, some of the time, why?

“Well, that’s just stupid!” Ceyda exclaimed.

“It is?” Merlin asked quietly.

It is? Doc the book repeated.

“Well, yes, obviously, humanity would go extinct,” Ceyda said.

Please elaborate on what led you to this conclusion.

“Well, for one, all women would just become men! And then we wouldn’t have children any more because no one can get pregnant!” Ceyda said.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Merlin asked.

...why would you think that all women would just become men?

“Isn’t it obvious? Everything is better as a man, I can’t think of a woman who wouldn’t want to be one, considering you get all the cool jobs and you get to wear bright colors.”

There are. Plenty of women who like being women. And some folks who would never want to be men, even if they were born with that title.

Ceyda rolled her eyes. “Doubtful.”

Okay you are clearly packing some weird knotful of biases here and I have no idea how to unpack it, so why don’t we just tell Merlin what he wants to hear?

“Why would Merlin want to hear magic can change people’s sexes?” Ceyda asked. “He’s already a boy.”

“Well what if, uh, I had a sister,” Merlin said. “Who wanted to become a man.”

“I guess Danette could with magic,” Ceyda said. “But that would be really unfair to everyone else.”

Merlin nodded slowly. “Oh. I see. Okay then…”

He pulled up his scarf and walked up the stairs.

Ceyda. You missed like, three warning signs there.

“What? It’s true. I understand that men and women can both cast magic but for most of the world only men get to learn magic,” Ceyda said. “And they get everything else, like, I reiterate, not getting pregnant.”

Right but you’re assuming the only reasons someone might want to change their body or their presentation or any variation is because of reproduction or social standing.

Ceyda blinked a few times. Now she was just confused. “What else is there?”

Well, you have how you internally feel.

“Being a woman or a man isn’t a feeling, Doc.”

No, but your body and your gender can cause feelings. Of intense sadness or euphoria, depending on the situation--

“Yes. Situations like having children and not being able to learn magic,” Ceyda repeated. “That’s what I said.”

Ceyda. Okay, hypothetical, in a world where women have all the rights men do, and can choose to never get pregnant ever, would you still want to be a man?

“No, of course not.”

Right, but some folks you might perceive as women, would still wish to go through what we just discussed.

“Why? If they’re functionally the same then it’s just stupid, which was my original point. Either it’s unfair and creates losers, or there’s no point,” Ceyda said.

So in a world where men and women were the exact same in society, and pregnancy was a non issue, if I turned you into, for lack of a better term, a man, you would be fine with it?

“Well I’d be taller right?”

Same height you are now. Or, yes, you can be taller, but you could also be a taller human being in general.

“So I’m not taller. I don’t have any social benefits. Then--” Ceyda began to think. “Do I menstruate?”

We have magic medicine that makes it so you never have to menstruate.

“Then I’d be quite annoyed, as men are easily harmed in their dicks, thus women would have the default advantage,” Ceyda said.

You wouldn’t have to have a dick, you know.

“Then I’d rather be a man because then I don’t have boobs,” Ceyda said.

Do you dislike your chest?

“Yes. It constantly needs to be held, it’s so annoying,” Ceyda replied irritably

Well, ok but does that cause you discomfort--

“I just said they need to be held all the time. If not they chafe and move around a lot, that is the definition of discomfort,” Ceyda explained. Doc clearly had never had a large chest when they were human.

Right. Right of course. But I mean, would the idea of a flat chest make you happy--

“Yes. It would stop hurting.”

Ok, Ceyda, you keep responding in the form of the utility your body serves. And that’s fine, but I’m trying to explain other aspects that might be going on here.

“Like what?”

Well, what about feeling attractive?

“Oh, I hate doing that.”

Ok, that’s a start, why?

“It takes too long.”

Sigh. I am going to write that word again. Sigh. Ceyda I’m not gonna say you’re wrong. Because you’re not. But there’s this… concept I need to explain to you and I just realized I have no idea how to explain it. So I’m trying to find a way you can empathize and you’re just on a completely different track.

“It’s all right, Doc,” Ceyda said, patting the grimoire. “You’re a very good book.”

Wait! Yes! I am a book! And I used to be human! So what gender am I?

Ceyda shrugged. “I don’t know. Not a large chested one, that’s for sure.”

Ceyda I swear to the gods. But if I said I wanted to be a man or a woman, how would you feel?

“I’d feel like--you’re a book. You don’t need one. You’re very lucky, it’s a lot of nonsense,” Ceyda responded.

Okay but say I want one. It’s important to me people refer to me as a he book or a she book or whatever.

“Then, uh, do you want to be a girl? Or a guy? I don’t know. Just do what you want,” Ceyda shrugged.

Yes! Exactly! Look if you don’t understand what’s going on, that’s fine, but sometimes people are just going to do what they want, and that’s okay.

“Right but that can’t happen now, we’d have no women left,” Ceyda replied.

Okay, Ceyda. Let’s turn this into a poll then. Next time we see all your friends, lets ask them. How does that sound?

“That seems fair, although I should warn you, you are far, far outside your own time and culture,” Ceyda warned. She started to walk up the stairs.

I’m sure I’ll manage. Oh! We are not asking Merlin, however. That boy has too much stress going on.

“All right. He is very shy,” Ceyda huffed. “Shy people are very hard to interact with, I’ve noticed. They have entire lives going on behind their eyes and I know absolutely none of it, but I somehow keep managing to cause problems!”

It’s a learned skill.

“Well at this rate it’s going to take me many years to--”

Ceyda stopped talking as she reached the ground floor.

Merlin’s hair was askew, being gripped by a man dressed in white with black sunglasses.

Rembrandt smiled at her.

“Gotcha, girlie.”

Ceyda shot her hand up, pointing to Rembrandt.

“Dorsk--”

Two other mages were on both her sides, and they chanted faster.

The last thing Ceyda remembered was Merlin screaming her name, and the panicked, gold ink, of Doc’s psychic words being branded into her fading vision.