The next assignment begins, the bored goddess continuing to tap idly on her phone.

“微波炉,” I speak while writing for the third time, grumbling as I smudge the fire prefix for the third time.

It had become a frustrating task. It was a stupid microwave through and through, although by some stupid logic, I was forced to write it as a string of pictographs instead of Romanic letters—all for the whimsy of a billion peoples half-way around the world. Admittedly, there was a high likelihood that I would have to interact with their language, though it was more likely that they would have to interact with mine. English was more widespread after all.

“Goddess? Why do we have so many languages?”

Elysium glances up, “Explain.”

Without turning around, I know the ‘I know more than you’ smirk is back again. She was a frustrating creature that couldn’t be understood. I wasn’t sure if she could read my mind, although I wouldn’t be surprised if every thought was first purview under her supervision before I was allowed to think it. Just to satisfy her whimsy.

Elysium was beautiful though.

“Well, I’m sure there’s some Babel story out there that I don’t believe in. I’m not religious after all. Still, it just doesn’t make sense for there to be so many different languages out there. It’s confusing to learn.”

“Well, people developed in different locations. In the grand scheme of things, global communication is a very recent invention. It makes sense that there are differences. Random chance, chaos theory. You make the connections.”

I grimace. Humans did tend to lack the ability to be consistent.

“So why don’t we just make a universal language then? Or hell, Elise, you do it. Make everyone speak the same language.”

“Okay, done,” she says with off-hand casual-ness.

I blink.

“Sorry?”

“I’ve made everyone speak the same language.”

“Have you? I can still say the words 微波炉 out loud. I recognize my main language as English and that as Chinese.”

“And in my eyes, they're both just different vocal subsections of the human language. Humans have many more types. Body language, internal languages, emotional languages, and so on. You can tell surprisingly much from a person’s heartbeat. I haven’t changed how anything works. Just take an interpretation of the definition of language that is different from yours.”

I stare, confused. The bright-eyed goddess looks back.

She breaks eye contact first, returning to her phone. The curvature of her lips flatten to distracted apathy as her gaze returns to the white-skinned device.

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“Hey, Elise, hold on. What do you mean by—” I hesitate as she looks back again, “I don’t get it, you’ll need to back up. What do you mean you only see one language?”

“Well, human language is based on a universal innate language that everyone functionally understands. When humans are stressed, people physically tighten. When we’re sad, we cry. Yes, there are related mental chemicals in your brain that make that all happen, although that’s just the same idea at a different scope. Language is similar. You know how to communicate, you know grammar and the ways that they could be put together innately. Someone just invented defined rules, called it English, and made everyone else use it.”

My head spins. It doesn’t really make sense, but to some degree it does. Elysium is saying that language is human reaction socially codified.

“What—no that can’t be right. How come we don’t all have different grammar rules across languages then? Subject and predicate are swapped between English and Chinese. French has target objects before the verb. And colloquially, we all have different word choices.”

“Different people from different places made different rules. At the end of the day though, spoken languages have a few constants still. Body languages more so,”

“I— I get the body language part. Disgust, anger, et cetera, are similar. But spoken as well?”

“Grammar structures are linear.”

“I mean yeah, speaking multiple sentences at once would just be confusing.”

“Yet surely human minds can hold a thought in memory for more than a few seconds. Swapping between different tracks is something people can do.”

“But effortful,” I quip.

“Right. And, even when melodies overlap, like in music, generally the phrase that occurs first finishes first,” Elysium smiles more as she speaks, “Thus, I proclaim humans as naturally understanding grammar as linear.”

“Is that not true for all forms of human communication?”

“Let me send you some website code.”

“Oh shit.”

I swing the chair around, staring back towards the Chinese assignment. I scribble a few more lines. Hopefully, the terms would stick in my mind longer than the last set from the previous week. Still, I knew I was going to be disappointed by my own lack of memory somewhere.

“Elise,”

“Hmmm?”

“What would it cost me to forcefully overcome the barriers between different subsects of the spoken human language? Because I sure as hell don’t want to struggle while learning this Mandarin subsect.”

She snickers, “The amount of effort precisely equivalent to learning them all.”

My face twists with irritation.

“Like could you cast me a miracle? Surely, goddess, there must be an easier way.”

“Oh, you were asking seriously. It comes with a cost. Honestly, you can ask me for anything freely by bequesting my Name.”

Somehow, I get the feeling that she understood that I asked seriously the first time around. It was strange that deities would choose to have such a heavy dose of sass. Surely they couldn’t derive pleasure from something so simple, could they? Then again, one was bothering me and listening to my whims in such a manner.

“What, Elysium?”

“Not that Name.”

“Didn’t we just talk about—”

I’m interrupted.

“It’s [...]”

Her mouth opens. It closes a few seconds later. A string of sounds between three and six syllables spill forth.

I hear it. It’s melodious and wonderful. It carries the feeling of spring and beautiful flowers seeking to cover a darker undertone. Something painfully morbid, but desperately attempting to seek radiance. I’m aroused and terrified.

The corner of my right eye stings. I wipe away a blood-stained tear.