What makes a great thief? A thief who escapes, who doesn't get caught, who no one has seen? Are all these enough to make a thief good?

I say no.

A thief who gets caught is a criminal, not even a thief. One who no one has seen might be a good thief, but not a great one.

A thievery that no one knows has taken place—in my eyes—that is the greatest thief.

And I.

"Throw this bastard in the damned cellar! I can't believe there are still Earthlings who can waltz in here."

"Aye, Corporal!"

The two green humanoids grabbed my arms, one of them holding a raygun straight to my temple, and started dragging me away.

If a great thief never let anyone know they were robbed from, I was quite the shitty thief since I had been caught.

"Can't you guys take the gun away? It's not like I would try to run from here—Ow! No need to hit me—OW!"

"Shut up, human!"

Enormous steel doors swung open as the Sermentali dragged me through their military base. Coming all the way to Switzerland only to end up seeing metal walls all around me was quite the shame.

The two soldiers yanked me into the elevator, and with a flash of their eye in the retina scanner, the elevator rappelled down. Every meter lower we went, the farther away my plan of escaping into a spacecraft looked.

Clang. The elevator stopped.

A rustle echoed as the chains binding my feet and my hand scraped over the cold steel floor. Screams and cries echoed around me. A few of the other prisoners in the place banged the invisible walls of their cells as they groaned and huffed.

Their pained groans and their ragged appearances were all a part of making every prisoner feel worse. A chill ran down my spine when I realized that many of these prisoners might have spent a large part of their lives in here.

"In here," one of the Sermentali said. The other scanned his retina again, and the invisible wall of the cell opened up.

"N-now," I said. "Why don't we take this easy, guys? If you slowly reach into the pockets of my jacket, you'll find some crisp, fresh cash. When we are out of this place, I'll be happy to hand over my bank details, which are filled with stuff I have stolen over time. Definitely not disappointing—OW!"

A knee to my stomach took the wind out of me. The Sermentali only laughed as they grabbed my feet and hands and tossed me into the cell like a child would throw a toy it grew bored of. Without another word, they tapped their interface again, and the invisible force field trapped the musky air of the cell, barely any respite for it.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

The Sermentali, one of the three powers fighting over our solar system and also one of the three overlords of the Milky Way Galaxy.

I was now trapped in their military base.

***

How long had it been? I don't really know. Ever since I was born, aliens had been on Earth. The same was the case for my parents, who I never really met, and for their parents, who I can say almost with certainty, had never met them.

Everyone knew though that the name 'Earth' came from before aliens—and the word 'alien' too, since I just called them people—were around. How they came around, how we met them, I have no idea.

What I did know was that humanity and all other species were not limited to a single planet. Sermentali, the green species that had taken over a good part of the European continent and established multiple military bases here, were in constant struggle with two other empires for control of the Orion Arm—a way to encroach on the next major arm.

Of course, that meant the Sermentali were immensely powerful. Since Earth had become a major base for the Sermentali thanks to its climate, they had made their headquarters here quite important.

Lying still on my back, after having been thrown into the cell, I tapped my feet and rested my head on my arms. All the other cells here must be filled with space bandits, pirates, bounty hunters, rogues, or even deserters and prisoners of war.

"A new person in this cramped space. An Earthling at that, just my luck."

My ears perked up slightly as I heard the voice. Without getting up, I let my eyes trail to the source of the sound.

There, a woman that looked not particularly different from Earthlings sat with her knees close to her chest. Her skin was like mine, two ears, a nose, limbs. There was barely anything that separated her from a human except for her inhumane beauty, her sparkling silver hair, and the silvery stars instead of pupils in her almond-like eyes.

"Did this human not even notice me here?"

I hadn't.

"What a fool. No wonder he got caught."

I'll take that; getting caught was foolish.

"Hundreds try to steal the Sermentali's 'Star Eroder' but fail. No way an Earthling can ever steal it, especially this clown. Haah... stuck here—"

"Rude much?" I spoke up finally, raising my brows. I was able to take the truth, but not these comments.

"W-w-what!?" The woman reeled back at my reply, her star-shaped eyes wide open. "Y-you can speak my language? Wait, weren't you talking to the Sermentali before too?!"

I ignored her questions and pushed myself off the ground. "Look, lady. I might have gotten caught, but don't consider me a third-rate like all the idiots who can't read and understand every language in the universe. I don't chase after bullshit like a Star Eroder."

Sure, I got caught. Did that mean I had failed? Of course not.

I slowly pulled my tongue out, revealing a small, tiny little metallic ball sitting on it. This was what I was here for, the true treasure that even the Sermentali hadn't figured out.

"That is...?"

With a smirk, I rolled the ball down my tongue and swallowed it.

"A piece of the Akashic Records," I continued, my smile spreading wider.

A blue window that only I could see appeared in front of my eyes.

[Initialization Started... Akashic Records Invoked.]

"A piece of the... You can't mean!?" The woman stood up, her eyes even wider than before.

[Appraising Host. Determined. Host far exceeds the minimum capability requirements of the Akashic Records.]

What made a great thief? Was it not letting anyone know they had been stolen from?

[Analyzing the best way to integrate with the host with current capabilities... Analysis Complete.]

Honestly, I didn't give a fuck.

No matter how great they were.

[Welcome.]

I was going to be better.

[The Greatest Thief System greets its Master.]