Caitlyn sees a solitary building sitting on top of a hill. It appears to be two stories tall with a stone-cladding base. The glass panes on its front side are held by paneled walls with wooden texture. Its light-brownish hue stands out between the sky above and the grasses below. There’s an orchard right next to it. The sun shines overhead. Children are basking in its blessing. Caitlyn counts ten of them laughing and cheering as they play on the lawn. The azure sky stretches as far as the eye can see. Patches of clouds drift like ships cruising through the sea. Caitlyn’s hairs flutter in the breeze. Even in the hottest day of summer, the breeze is still superior to the sun’s warmth.

“Caitlyn!” A joyous voice calls out. In front of the mansion, there’s a girl waving her arms to her. A girl she is familiar with. She is slender and slightly shorter than her. Looking at her radiant face sparks a smile on her own. It’s been a long time since Caitlyn last saw her.

Caitlyn takes a step forward. The sky immediately turns gray as she does so. The pieces of clouds which were scattered has turned into a behemoth that conceals the sun. Waters are dripping down her head. A thunder shrieks. A woman emerges out of the mansion; a woman that Caitlyn is also familiar with. She rushes into the lawn and herds the children back into the mansion. Including that girl who called out to her. Caitlyn steps forward again. She extends her right arm, reaching out for the woman. The woman glances to her at the same time. Caitlyn is stopped as if something grabs her feet from the ground. She just gazes at her indifferently before following the children.

Caitlyn hears another thunder. But it doesn’t sound like a normal thunder. The rumbling isn’t continuous. It’s pulsating. And there’s something ominous about them. As if they are trying to cull the pillars holding the skies with each pulse. Caitlyn feels a slight tremor on her feet.

She dares to looks up. Her eyes don’t have enough framerate-per-second to perceive them. A rain of steels. They pierce the cloud and crash into the mansion. Fires spark in their wake. Black fumes engulf the mansion. The shockwave topples her down. She pulls her legs close and shield her head with her hands. The ground quakes as if the gods themselves are punching them. The blast is deafening at her distance that she has to press on her ears.

When the smoke clears, the mansion is a pile of rubble. The lush grasses are now gray barren soils intermixed with soot. The orchard trees withered, their trunks darkened as if a great fire just devoured them. Caitlyn stands up and gazes at the scene. A tree collapses, smashing awe and disbelief deep into her. Those children and the woman are gone. Not even a trace of them are left.

The monstrosity emerges on the other side. Caitlyn is startled by the rumbling noise it makes. The turret is facing away from her. And to her horror, it starts rotating to her direction. Her core races. She wants to run. But its shells are always faster than her legs. It is pointless. When the gun finds her, she shuts her eyes.

Caitlyn gasps. It’s dark when she opens her eyes again. She can feel air streaming in and out of her nostril. She raises her helmet which was covering her face, putting it back properly.

“Welcome back.” PT greets her. The interface screen shows a waving hand.

“How long have I been out?”

“Not long. An hour.”

“See anything?”

“Trees, and more trees.”

Caitlyn pops her head out of the hatch. It’s dusk. She just took a brief calibration to freshen herself up a little. Six Crescents packed with infantry just arrived a few hours ago to reinforce her position. The men wasted no time to dig trenches and erect bunkers with weapon emplacements. PT also benefits from their handiwork. He is hull-down thanks to the tank trench they dug. More Turangga trucks followed with additional supplies. A column of them just arrived and are currently unloading their trunk.

A vibrant tune elates the place. The Proxies happily embrace the rhythm as they proceed with their work. There’s a fire-lit barrel just around the corner of a bunker. Genesis and Charlotte sit beside it. They are putting up a performance. Genesis sings while Charlotte plays her guitar along. Caitlyn saw it coming. It’s part of their job after all. But she didn’t expect them to be this good. Genesis’ voice is superb, an opera singer for the weary soldiers. And Charlotte plays with her eyes closed as if her partner’s voice took over her.

The idling men gather round. There are fifteen of them. Georg and Wuss are there too, cheering for the maids. Caitlyn would love to be there. But she is on the watch with PT. She can only listen for now. The tune comforts her ears even though it’s drenched in the cheers of other Proxies.

“Blonde got talent.” PT comments. He sounds sour at the fact that Genesis has more than her beauty to attract unsupervised attentions. But Caitlyn is convinced that he is enjoying it as well.

Caitlyn half-smiles. “Why isn’t it on me?” Still she wonders how could the machine that give Genesis a capability to sing, couldn’t do the same on her. She isn’t really serious about that thought though. She believes it’s more due to the maid’s own effort.

“Guess there’s nothing else but singing when you’re a village girl with an all-day leisure.”

“Well…I was one too, you know?”

“Really? Isn’t there anything lovely to pump your voice out?”

“It has good mountains. And a chilly breeze.”

“That doesn’t narrow down anything.” PT says. “But hey at least you’re enjoying the song.”

“The one Genesis is singing right now?”

“I’m not putting up a playlist now, am I?”

Caitlyn folds her arms on PT’s hull. She rests her chin on them and pays more attention. The song makes her yearning for something. A land of eternal spring. A little land where life is full of love. Where the plains reek of blooming poppies instead of burnt metals and blood. Where everyone prances to and fro under the smile of the sun. A land that only exists in dreams. Or perhaps it’s not the land that she longs for, but the very thing that has been missing from her all this time.

“It does sound nostalgic. Feels like going home.”

“You should. And hug your fam-.”

…Die…

Caitlyn groans and shakes her head. “Not again…” She mumbles.

“My bad.”

Caitlyn takes a deep breath. The wrathful voices still hit her like an imperial shelling. But it’s not as gripping as it used to be. She doubts that it’s due to them wavering. She’s just used to it by now. She starts to make peace with them.

“Still have something to say here if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead.”

“No matter how much trouble you caused to your family, it’s still much more preferable than having you disappear.”

Caitlyn raises an eyebrow. “What do you know about it?” She doubts it since it comes from a tank, not an actual person that went through their life.

“I don’t. My previous crewman served because he had stirred something in his family. He still returns home on rotation though. His last one was a month ago, and he finally got that trouble solved.”

“Then he passed away.”

“In peace, KT. In peace.”

Caitlyn tilts her head. Her cheek is pressed on her folded arms. She knows that she’ll eventually return home. She just doesn’t know when. She serves for the monthly wage. It is a key to make up for what she did. Yet to her bad luck, she doesn’t know how much that she has to pay. Thus, every day always seem too soon for her to return. Most importantly, ten years is not a short time. Will her family still accept her?

“That captain looks lonely.” PT says.

Caitlyn glances at his gun to her left before quickly finding Hassle sitting in the trench right of PT. There’s a cigarette on his hand. His head is resting on the trench wall. He has a blank stare directed above. He is so still that Caitlyn almost thinks he is dead. It’s his blinking that pushes the thought aside.

“Do you think we’re alike?” Caitlyn asks.

“Sort of. Bet you won’t last more than thirty-seconds with him.”

Caitlyn turns a disgusted glance at PT.

“Conversation, I mean.”

Caitlyn looks back at the Captain. “What’s in it for me?”

“Don’t believe you have the gut to take it.”

“You’ll get me something if I take it.”

“If you take it.”

Caitlyn stretches her head left and right. She doesn’t say anything as she climbs up the hull and marches to the captain.

“Oh, bloody hell…” PT says, impressed by her action.

Caitlyn doesn’t know what she is doing. Hassle is a stranger to her. She never intentionally started a conversation with one before. She recalls how curt his responses were when they group up to take the ridge. He is most probably a person that doesn’t like being intruded. Just like her. He probably won’t like her around him either. But she keeps going on, urged to assert dominance over her tank. Her nerve soars like casualties during the first major clashes with the empire. The world shakes harder with every step. When she realizes that she regrets it and wants to turn back, the captain notices her.

“First Sergeant.” He tucks his cigarette back to his mouth.

“Captain.” She addresses him back, struggling to keep her composure. “M-may I sit beside you?”

“Why not.”

The trench is chest deep. It’s as wide as the length of her legs. The soil is conveniently dry. It smells like a leaking septic tank. But it’s part of duty. Caitlyn had learned to shrug it off. The dug-up soils are stacked just in front of the trench for additional cover. It’s not much but it’s still better than open ground.

She sits beside him with her legs curled close to her and her arms wrapped around them. “Um…you can call me by my name, captain.” She adds.

The captain glances at her. Her eyes open wider. The way he studies her makes Caitlyn even more nervous. No one has ever given her that looks. No one that she knows of. She wraps herself tighter, trying to shake off her trembling hands.

“Caitlyn, isn’t it?” Hassle asks.

“Yes, sir.”

Hassle chuckles. He picks up his cigarette and let a smoke puffs out of his mouth. “Hassle should be good.”

“Captain Hassle.” Caitlyn shrugs. “Your rank should stay.”

“So, you’re going to say ‘Lieutenant Colonel Khristorozhdestvensky’ if you’re chatting with him?”

“Is he a real person?”

“Probably.” Hassle tucks his cigarette back to his mouth again. He lets the trench wall bear the weight of his head. “Well, don’t answer that. You probably would.”

Caitlyn glances back at PT. The tank elevates his barrel before de-elevating it again. She takes it that it’s his way of giving a thumbs up. It’s still not thirty seconds yet, but she can’t believe that she made it this far. Asking to sit beside him was already a labor for her. The conversation is now paused however. There has to be something that she could bring up to push it further.

“I’m sorry for your losses, captain.” Caitlyn says.

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“Tell me something I don’t know, Caitlyn.” Hassle replies. His gaze is still directed upward as if a lovely maid is sitting on a tree ahead of him.

“I mean…” Caitlyn nods. “It must be painful to you. I’ve lost a lot of my own too.”

“My condolences.” Hassle shrugs. “It’s part of the job, though.”

“Yes, I know. But don’t you feel any remorse when your men got flung by that artillery shot?”

Hassle tilts his head. “No.”

“Not a bit?”

“A bit, yes. But the war goes on. And we, have to march on.” Hassle gestured.

“You mean, you just bottle up your feelings and drifts it down the river?”

“What should I do? Cry over it till I die?” Hassle shakes his head. “Not doing it. I’m better off with a nap.”

“No sir, I’m not against you. I’m just curious how are you able to manage that.”

Hassle picks his cigarette again. “Good question.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I just think that either me or my men are going to die in a couple of minutes. Might as well make their life with me, or the way around, worth every second. I mingled with them as much as I could. They are my brothers, or sisters, after all. Helps lifting some pressures off, you know?”

“How close are you with your squad?”

“Hmm…Wuss always told me about his thick girlfriend back home every night. Georg is writing a memoir, just got to ten-plus thousand words or something last time I checked. Petro can’t pass a day without smooching his gun. Karl likes to nap. While Seth is saving up to buy a land to work on.”

Caitlyn didn’t once turn her attention away from him as he mentioned his squad mates. She never knew anything about those that had worked under her. Yet here Hassle, who has served longer than her and thus has went through more pain, is able to spout the quirks of his comrades like flipping a hand. She only knows about that crewmate of her who just passed. But she is sure that she’ll forget about her when given another week.

“Too bad that three dreams have to step down.” Hassle adds.

“My condolences, sir.”

Hassle glances at her with an eyebrow raised. He holds a laughter. It’s an awkward expression. She thought he is a solitary person whose contemplations are his only means of amusements. It’s a surprise that he is quite sociable. Perhaps even friendlier than Fort in a way.

“You already said that.”

Caitlyn pushes her feet away and smiles. “I think grieving over strangers and people we know are different.”

Hassle chuckles. “No arguments there.” He puts his cigarette back again.

Caitlyn saw it wrong all this time. The short lifespan of the soldiers isn’t a reason to keep herself distant. It’s instead the other way. As the captain put it, make every moment with them and vice versa worth every second. The war brought suffering on her. But she is not alone. Genesis, Charlotte, the captains—Fort, Hassle, and Kiraly, even PT and KP, share her suffering. They are all in the same ditch being scalded by the flames of war. It’s best to hold hands and face them together. Their combined strength shall help them strive, perhaps even prevail in the end.

“Why are you here though?” Caitlyn said. “Georg and Wuss are there enjoying the show.”

Hassle takes a deep breath. “I’m a loner actually.” He chuckles. “And they know it.”

“So, I am intruding your space for the duration of our conversation?”

“I get to know you, though.” He flashes his eyebrows. “Something for something. You seem like a loner too.”

“I’m, uh…” Caitlyn shrugs. “Starting to get tired of it, I think.”

“Congrats for making it this far, then.” Hassle flashes his eyebrows.

“Captain.” Wuss calls him from the top of the trench.

Caitlyn and Hassle turns their attention as the man enter the trench and crouches beside the captain. He places his weapon beside him and meet Caitlyn’s glance.

“Oh, hello first sergeant.”

“Caitlyn is enough.” Caitlyn nods.

Hassle and Wuss share a glance.

“Got words from your girl?” Hassle asks.

“Why do you think I’m here, sir?” Wuss replies.

Hassle turns to Caitlyn and briefly points his index at Wuss. “You’re joining, Caitlyn?”

Caitlyn looks at PT. “I think my tank starts to feel lonely now.” She points at him with her thumb.

“Take it easy.” Hassle nods.

Caitlyn nods back before returning to her tank. She gazes down on PT with her arms folded and a tiny smug on her face. That was definitely more than thirty seconds. She is proud of herself. For the first time, she is able to win over him. And she can’t be happier for the moment.

“So…you’ll get me something.”

“Didn’t say it’s a bad thing.” PT says. “What would you like?”

That’s definitely a lie. He has no salary. There’s no way he could acquire anything for her. She knows it from the beginning. She just thinks that it’s fun to do it with him. A way to bring them closer to each other, and a way to cure her loneliness. She knows Hassle better by doing so. The captain just gave her his take on losing squad mates. She now can afford to reduce the stress by her guilt. That itself is an invaluable prize.

“Don’t worry about it.” Caitlyn says. She returns to her seat.

“They’re going to ridicule me for not staying true to my wor-”

“PT, don’t worry about it.” Caitlyn says slower.

Caitlyn catches a friendly tank arriving on the ridge. The distinct rumbling of the Chord’s engine is unmistakable. The tank takes a position facing west-northwest, to the road leading to Patih Tread. A girl emerges around the tank’s rear. A tank commander. Caitlyn skips a blink. It’s Alezia. The girl is quick to look her way. And even quicker finding her there. Alezia vivaciously waves her arm overhead while heading to her.

Caitlyn hops out of her tank and greet her.

“Caitlyn!” She says her name and hugs her by the shoulders.

Caityn returns the gesture, patting the girl in the back. She meets her glance when she nudges her off.

“I think I heard telve shelling on this ridge from down there.”

“Lost all the vehicles but mine.” Caitlyn shrugs. “And my senior lost three of his men.”

Alezia sighs. She looks like she is about to grief but is tired of doing so. News of killed-in-actions are daily consumptions. There’s not a day without them. Grieving every day isn’t just a thing that humans and Androids are capable of.

It’s absurd to show happiness while other glooms. But Caitlyn smiles anyway. The captain is fine with the loss of his comrades. He is quick to feel fine about it. It’s not a thing that anyone should worry. On the other hand, she meets her friend again, on the battlefield this time. Nothing can elate her more than seeing her in one piece.

“I hope he is fine.”

“He’s alright.” Caitlyn points to Hassle’s direction with her eyes.

Alezia briefly glances that way before looking back at her. There’s a weary look on her face. Caitlyn thinks it complements her. It fits her outgoing nature and her willingness to serve. It has only been a day and a couple hours since they met at the base. But it was a tough day. She must have participated in applying pressure to Patih Tread. And maybe she assisted friendly labors thereafter.

Alezia squints, scrutinizing her face. “You look…brighter tonight.”

“Brighter?”

“The mellow vibes around you are gone.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Nevermind what I said. I just think you look happier.”

Caitlyn realizes it. She has always been indifferent toward everyone even her. But just now she is delighted to see her. She also feels that she smiles more often than she used to be.

“How can I be upset seeing my friend still active in the game?” Caitlyn chuckles.

Alezia gasps. “Aww, Caitlyn…” The girl whimpers. She hugs her again, this time she presses her cheek against hers. Caitlyn lets her proceed. She never thought being squeezed like this has a pleasure of its own. “That’s so sweet…”

“I could use some snuggle too.” PT says.

Caitlyn and Alezia look at him. Alezia departs her left arm from Caitlyn while leaving the other still around her shoulder.

“What’s your call-sign?” Alezia asks.

“Protivotankovyy.”

“PT.” Caitlyn says to her.

“KT, I don’t consent being called that by anyone that’s not you.”

“He really could use some snuggle.” Alezia says. She lets go of Caitlyn and walk slowly at the tank with her arms open. “Come here, big guy.”

PT rotates his turret to her direction. His position is slightly below the ground. His gun is in level with her chest.

“No. Nu-uh. Nope. Not getting cuddled by you, ma’am.”

Alezia stops and drops her arms. “Radiant Winter likes it though.”

“Your tank?” Caitlyn asks.

Alezia nods.

“That’s cool. Too bad I’m not Radiant Winter.”

“Is he always like this?” Alezia asks, pointing her thumb at the tank.

Caitlyn leans closer to her. “He’s nervous around new people.”

“You mean like you?” Alezia bumps Caitlyn’s chest with her elbow. “You found yourself a matching partner, huh?” She giggles in front of her face.

Caitlyn rolls her eyes. “Don’t bring that up. I can socialize better now.”

“Oh really?” Alezia asks, challenging that statement.

To her, Caitlyn has always been that detached person in a group that’s not even worth noticing. It is in fact her trademark in the class. And it’s not because there’s nothing about her to pick up. Caitlyn just distanced herself from everyone so much that getting close already cost as much as the total bullets and shells involved in securing Patih Tread.

Caitlyn locks her hands behind her and leans toward PT.

“PT?”

PT rotates his gun forward. “Didn’t think so.”

“What?” Caitlyn looks at him irritatingly.

“You know Captain Hassle a couple of hours before you got to talk with him. Technically he’s no stranger to you by then.”

Caitlyn pouts and places her arms on her waist. “You’re actually getting me something now.” She bluffs.

“Didn’t say you failed the bet, did I?”

Caitlyn sighs. She can bear a conversation with him. She has been doing it for a while now that she forgot how impossible it is to get on top of him. She turns her attention back to Alezia. “What brings you here by the way?”

Alezia puffs her chest. “Guess.”

“Transfer.”

The girl snaps her fingers. “Correct.”

“That’s not even worth guessing over.” PT complains.

“Shut up.” Caitlyn says to him.

“I was told that we could use an extra gun here to watch the road. I volunteered.” Alezia says.

Caitlyn chuckles. “Of course, you did.”

“Not much of a news is it?” Alezia rubs her nape. “Fort told me you’re in charge of taking this ridge. Fine job you did here, Caitlyn.”

“Three vehicles and three men paid for it, though.”

“You can still count them by hands, right? Still minimal by Command’s standards.”

Caitlyn rubs her chin. “Don’t tell me they put you under my command.”

Alezia shrugs. “You’re the more senior between us anyway.”

Technically there’s Hassle who is the most senior between the two. But Caitlyn’s group is an armored force. Any attached infantry should serve to support them. The vehicle crews are always in command. Of course, Command chose her because there’s no one else. The Convexes and the Crescent which were with her are automated.

“I…” Caitlyn rubs her temple. “…really think you’ll make a better leader.”

It’s just common sense given her outgoing behavior and enthusiasm. She can easily spread her wings, and others will just fold under them.

“Don’t be like that, Caitlyn.” Alezia wraps her arm around Caitlyn’s neck and yanks her close. “I believe in you. So, why don’t you?”

“Uh, some one hundred plus people—my people—from six feet underground would like to argue.”

“It’s okay.” Alezia pulls her even tighter. Their helmets are pressing each other. “Now that I’m here, tomorrow is going to be your big day.” She turns her attention to PT. “Right, Protivotankovyy?”

“PT?” Caitlyn asks, wondering why he is suddenly silent.

“You told me to shut up.” The tank answers.

Caitlyn takes a deep breath as she turns back to Alezia, flattening her lips. “I’m tired.”

“Haha, you both are really meant for each other.”