Slush and salt hissed under the wheels as they wove through the hills. The Toyota crept past trees laden with snow, melt dripped from them in a diamond rain. They were nearly home.
Freya had worried so much over nothing. It was so simple to be with Dan, so easy to talk with him, or do anything at all, Unified or severed. In the lulls of their conversation, she had time and distance to consider everything.
She ran through all her problems. Flunking math, the insane threats from Malcolm Lewis, Lassa’s unraveling, the authorities investigating, they were all serious issues. But, from this vantage, she saw they were only side quests. Dan was the main line, the only one who mattered, and now she was certain.
She knew him better than anyone ever had or ever would, and she loved him. Even without Unity, she felt him on her skin, inside of her even after the shower.
He came inside of me.
She hadn’t expected it to feel so important, but the significance echoed in her, a note of shining pride. She felt a stab of worry. What if the pill didn’t work? What if she got pregnant? It was no longer the looming doomsday in her mind it had once seemed. Her thoughts darted ahead, dancing over the possibility. Of course, it wouldn’t happen. She hadn’t missed a pill, but what if…
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The thought dug in like a barb, and she knew she hadn’t felt this way before. Even before she met Dan, even before Randall died, she knew she would get rid of it if something happened. She would have gone to Lassa and, two minutes later, they would have been in the Mercedes headed for the clinic, no discussion needed.
Freya reached into her pocket for the Starball. It was warm to the touch.
Was this what she thought, or what the Starball wanted her to think? She probed, looking for the cool feeling in her skull of the Starball pacifying her. She wondered if Dan would be able to feel a difference in her and, for the thousandth time today, she wished for Unity. There was every chance it was working on him in the same way.
What do you want? Freya wondered, and she wasn’t sure if she was asking the Starball or herself. She was aware she would have to answer for this when Unity returned.
It was crazy, they were too young, they had to go to college, get jobs, get married, all that. But, right now, all she wanted was to ask Dan to pull off the road somewhere secluded so she could climb on top of him and have him inside her again. They were made for this, all else was distraction.
Freya ran her fingers over the orb, wondering what was her and what was it. Maybe this was just what happened when you were in love, something that would pass when the novelty faded away. They were on Elliot Road, and her heart beat faster. Freya was going to invite Dan inside, they could order pizza, snuggle on the couch. She was going to make love to him in her bed so she could always feel he’d been there. She hoped he would spend the night, even though she knew he couldn’t. Unity would return, everything would be all right.
But none of those things would happen. Lassa’s car was parked in the driveway.