After summoning Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian found his thoughts in disarray, making it impossible for him to maintain his usual vigilance. Lan Wangji, if he didn't want his presence to be detected, could easily slip by unnoticed. So when Wei Wuxian suddenly turned around and saw that face, increasingly cold as frost in the moonlight, his heart skipped a beat in surprise.

He had no idea how long Lan Wangji had been there, or if he had heard everything he'd said and done. If Lan Wangji hadn't been drunk at all and had followed him all the way here, the situation would be even more awkward. Not mentioning Wen Ning to his face, then sneaking out to summon him as soon as Lan Wangji fell asleep – it was truly embarrassing.

Lan Wangji stood with his arms crossed, Bichen resting against his chest, his expression colder than Wei Wuxian had ever seen it. Feeling the need to break the tension and offer some explanation, Wei Wuxian cleared his throat and said, "Ah, Hanguang-jun."

Lan Wangji didn't respond.

Wei Wuxian stood in front of Wen Ning, locked in a staring contest with Lan Wangji. He rubbed his chin, feeling an inexplicable wave of guilt wash over him.

Finally, Lan Wangji lowered his hand holding Bichen and took two steps forward. Seeing him approach Wen Ning with his sword, Wei Wuxian feared the worst. His thoughts raced: "This is bad. Could Lan Zhan have been pretending to be drunk, waiting for me to summon Wen Ning so he could kill him? But then again, who actually passes out after one bowl?"

He started, "Hanguang-jun, let me explain—"

With a resounding "smack," Lan Wangji struck Wen Ning with his palm.

Though the slap sounded loud, it carried little actual force. Wen Ning stumbled back several steps, swayed, then regained his footing, his face a mask of confusion.

Wei Wuxian found Wen Ning's current state peculiar. While not as volatile as when he used to go berserk, his temperament was far from docile. On that night at Mount Dafan when he was surrounded and attacked, he had thrown people flying before they could even scratch him, lifting them by their throats. If Wei Wuxian hadn't stopped him, he would have strangled everyone present. Yet now, after Lan Wangji's slap, he just stood there with his head bowed, seemingly unable to retaliate. Wei Wuxian found this strange but also felt relieved. If Wen Ning had fought back, the situation would have been even harder to defuse.

Apparently unsatisfied with just one slap, Lan Wangji pushed Wen Ning again, sending him several meters away.

He said to Wen Ning, his voice laced with uncharacteristic irritation, "Go away."

Wei Wuxian finally realized something was off.

Lan Wangji's actions and words were incredibly... childish.

Having pushed Wen Ning to a satisfactory distance, Lan Wangji seemed content. He turned around, walked back, and stood beside Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian scrutinized him closely.

Lan Wangji's facial expression and demeanor showed no apparent abnormality. In fact, he looked even more serious, more proper, more impeccable than usual. His forehead ribbon was perfectly placed, his face wasn't flushed, his breathing was normal, and he walked with his usual grace, his footsteps steady. He appeared to be the same dignified, composed cultivator known as Hanguang-jun.

But when Wei Wuxian looked down, he noticed that Lan Wangji's boots were on the wrong feet.

Before coming out, Wei Wuxian had helped Lan Wangji take off his boots, tossing them by the bedside. Now, Lan Wangji's left boot was on his right foot, and his right boot on his left foot.

The Hanguang-jun from a prestigious family, who valued etiquette above all else, would never go out in public like this.

Wei Wuxian tentatively asked, "Hanguang-jun, how many fingers am I holding up?"

He held up two fingers. Lan Wangji didn't answer verbally but solemnly reached out with both hands, left and right, and earnestly grasped Wei Wuxian's two fingers.

With a clatter, Bichen fell to the ground, abandoned by its master.

Wei Wuxian: "..."

This was definitely not the normal Lan Zhan!

"Hanguang-jun, are you drunk?" Wei Wuxian asked.

Lan Wangji replied firmly, "No."

Drunk people never admit they're drunk. Wei Wuxian withdrew his fingers, but Lan Wangji maintained the gesture of holding them, focusing intently on his empty fists. Wei Wuxian watched him silently, then looked up at the moon in the cool night air.

Most people get drunk and then sleep it off, but Lan Wangji had apparently slept first and then gotten drunk. And in his drunken state, he looked no different from usual, making it hard to tell he was inebriated at all.

In his younger days, Wei Wuxian had countless drinking buddies and had seen all sorts of embarrassing drunken behavior. He'd seen people wailing, giggling stupidly, throwing tantrums, passing out in the street, becoming suicidal, and whining "why don't you want me anymore?" But this was the first time he'd seen someone like Lan Wangji – quiet and composed, yet behaving so bizarrely.

He twitched the corner of his mouth, suppressing a laugh as he picked up the discarded Bichen and slung it over his own back. "Alright, let's head back," he said.

He couldn't leave a Lan Wangji in this state wandering around outside. Who knew what else he might do?

Fortunately, drunk Lan Wangji seemed quite agreeable. He nodded gracefully and started walking alongside Wei Wuxian. If anyone had passed by, they would have thought it was two close friends taking a refined night stroll.

Behind them, Wen Ning silently followed. Just as Wei Wuxian was about to speak to him, Lan Wangji suddenly turned around and delivered another angry slap, this time to Wen Ning's head.

Wen Ning's head tilted to one side from the impact, and he lowered it even further. Despite his facial muscles being rigid and expressionless, with nothing but the whites of his eyes visible, he somehow managed to look utterly pitiful. Wei Wuxian couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry as he grabbed Lan Wangji's arm. "Why are you hitting him?"

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Lan Wangji used a threatening tone he would never use when sober, telling Wen Ning, "Go away!"

Wei Wuxian knew it was best not to argue with drunk people, so he quickly said, "Alright, alright, have it your way. He'll go away." He reached for his bamboo flute, but before he could bring it to his lips, Lan Wangji snatched it away.

"You're not allowed to play for him," Lan Wangji declared.

Wei Wuxian teased, "My, aren't you bossy?"

Lan Wangji repeated unhappily, "You're not allowed to play for him!"

Wei Wuxian realized something. Drunk people often become talkative, but since Lan Wangji rarely spoke much normally, in his drunken state, he kept repeating the same phrases. Thinking that Lan Wangji probably disapproved of his use of the flute to control Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian decided to humor him. "Okay, okay. I'll only play for you. How's that?"

Lan Wangji gave a satisfied "Mm," but kept the flute in his hands, playing with it instead of returning it.

Left with no other choice, Wei Wuxian whistled twice and said to Wen Ning, "Stay hidden and don't let anyone find you."

Wen Ning seemed to want to follow them, but having received his orders and fearing more slaps from Lan Wangji, he turned around slowly. With a dejected air, he trudged away, his footsteps echoing with a clink and clatter.

Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Wangji and said, "Lan Zhan, how can you be drunk without even a hint of redness on your face?"

Because Lan Wangji looked so normal—even more normal than Wei Wuxian himself—he couldn't help but speak to him as if he were sober. To his surprise, upon hearing this, Lan Wangji suddenly reached out, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him close.

Caught off guard, Wei Wuxian's head collided with Lan Wangji's chest.

Still dazed, he heard Lan Wangji's voice from above: "Listen to the heartbeat."

"What?"

Lan Wangji elaborated, "Can't see it on the face, listen to the heartbeat."

As he spoke, his chest vibrated with the low tones of his voice, and a strong, steady heartbeat pulsed beneath—thump-thump, thump-thump—slightly faster than normal. Wei Wuxian raised his head, understanding dawning. "So you're saying we can't see it on your face, but we can tell by listening to your heartbeat?"

Lan Wangji answered honestly, "Mm."

Wei Wuxian burst into laughter.

Could Lan Wangji's skin really be so thick that even a blush couldn't show through? It didn't seem likely!

Drunk Lan Wangji was not only surprisingly honest but also much more... uninhibited in both actions and words!

Given this rare opportunity to see such an honest and straightforward Lan Wangji, how could Wei Wuxian possibly treat him with proper etiquette and not take advantage of the situation? That would be impossible!

He ushered Lan Wangji back to the inn. Once in the room, he first pushed him onto the bed and removed his mismatched boots. Considering that Lan Wangji probably wouldn't be able to wash his face himself, Wei Wuxian removed his forehead ribbon and brought in a basin of hot water and a cloth. He wrung out the cloth, folded it into a square, and gently wiped Lan Wangji's face.

Throughout this process, Lan Wangji offered no resistance, docilely allowing Wei Wuxian to do as he pleased. He only squinted when the cloth neared his eyes, but otherwise kept his gaze fixed on Wei Wuxian, not blinking once. Wei Wuxian's mind raced with mischievous ideas, but seeing Lan Wangji's clear gaze, he couldn't resist tickling his chin and asking with a grin, "Why are you staring at me? Am I that good-looking?"

Having finished wiping Lan Wangji's face, Wei Wuxian tossed the cloth back into the basin without waiting for an answer. "Now that your face is clean, do you want some water to drink?" he asked.

Hearing no response, he turned around to find Lan Wangji had already dunked his face into the water basin.

Wei Wuxian panicked and quickly pulled the basin away. "I didn't mean for you to drink from this!"

Lan Wangji raised his head, his expression as calm as ever, with clear droplets of water sliding down his jaw and soaking the front of his robes. Wei Wuxian stared at him, a complex mix of emotions welling up inside him. "Did he actually drink or not?" he thought to himself. "For Lan Zhan's sake, I hope he doesn't remember any of this when he sobers up, or he'll never be able to show his face in public again."

Wei Wuxian used his sleeve to wipe away the water droplets from Lan Wangji's jaw, then put an arm around his shoulders. "Hanguang-jun, will you do whatever I say right now?"

Lan Wangji replied, "Mm."

Wei Wuxian pressed, "And you'll answer whatever I ask?"

Lan Wangji: "Mm."

Wei Wuxian placed one knee on the bed, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. "Alright then. Tell me, have you ever secretly drunk the Emperor's Smile hidden in your room?"

Lan Wangji: "No."

Wei Wuxian: "Do you like rabbits?"

Lan Wangji: "Yes."

Wei Wuxian: "Have you ever broken any rules?"

Lan Wangji: "Yes."

Wei Wuxian: "Have you ever liked someone?"

Lan Wangji: "Yes."

Wei Wuxian's questions were deliberately vague, not truly intending to pry into Lan Wangji's private matters, but rather to confirm if he would indeed answer anything. He continued, "What do you think of Jiang Cheng?"

Lan Wangji frowned: "Hmph."

Wei Wuxian: "What about Wen Ning?"

Coldly: "Heh."

Wei Wuxian smiled and pointed at himself: "And what about this?"

Lan Wangji: "Mine."

"..."

Lan Wangji stared at him, enunciating each word clearly and unmistakably: "Mine."

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian understood.

He took Bichen off his back, thinking to himself, "When I pointed at myself just now, Lan Zhan must have thought I meant Bichen on my back."

With this realization, he got off the bed and walked around the room with Bichen, from left to right, from east to west. As expected, wherever he went, Lan Wangji's gaze followed him intently. His stare was honest, open, direct, and utterly bare.

Wei Wuxian felt almost unable to stand under the weight of that almost passionate gaze. He held Bichen up in front of Lan Wangji's eyes. "Do you want it?"

Lan Wangji said, "I want it."

Seemingly not satisfied that this was enough to prove his desire, Lan Wangji suddenly grabbed Wei Wuxian's hand holding Bichen. His pale eyes gazed directly into Wei Wuxian's as he took a soft breath and repeated with emphasis, "...I want it."

Wei Wuxian knew full well that Lan Wangji was completely drunk, knew that these words weren't meant for him, but he still felt his arm and legs go weak at those two words.

He thought to himself, "Lan Zhan is really... if he were this earnest and intense towards a girl, what a terrifying man he would be!"

Steadying himself, Wei Wuxian asked, "How did you recognize me? Why did you help me?"

Lan Wangji's lips parted slightly, and Wei Wuxian leaned in closer to hear his answer. Unexpectedly, Lan Wangji suddenly changed his demeanor, raised his hand, and pushed Wei Wuxian down onto the bed.

The candle was extinguished with a wave, and Bichen once again clattered to the floor, abandoned by its master.

Wei Wuxian, pushed down so suddenly that he saw stars, thought Lan Wangji had sobered up. "Lan Zhan?!"

A familiar spot on his lower back was tapped, and he felt the same numbness spread through his body as on that first night in the Cloud Recesses, unable to move. Lan Wangji withdrew his hand, lay down beside him, and carefully tucked the blanket around them both, making sure Wei Wuxian was snugly covered. "It's the Hour of the Pig. Time to rest," he said.

So it was that terrifying Lan family schedule at work.

Wei Wuxian, his interrogation interrupted, stared at the ceiling. "Can't we chat a bit while we rest?"

Lan Wangji replied, "No."

...Well, there would be other chances to get Lan Wangji drunk and question him. Sooner or later, he'd get his answers.

Wei Wuxian said, "Lan Zhan, release me. I booked two rooms, we don't need to squeeze into one bed."

After a moment of stillness, Lan Wangji's hand reached out, fumbling under the blanket, and slowly began to undo Wei Wuxian's belt. Wei Wuxian yelped, "Stop! That's enough! That's not what I meant by release! Mmph! Okay! I'll lie down! I'll sleep!!!"

In the darkness, silence reigned.

After a long pause, Wei Wuxian spoke again, "Now I understand why alcohol is forbidden in your family. One bowl and you're out, and you're a terrible drunk too. If all the Lan clan members were like you when drunk, it should be banned. Whoever drinks should be punished."

Lan Wangji, eyes closed, raised his hand and covered Wei Wuxian's mouth.

He said, "Shh."

Wei Wuxian felt a surge of frustration stuck in his chest and between his lips, unable to rise or fall.

It seemed that ever since he came back, every time he tried to tease Lan Wangji like he used to, it ended up backfiring on him.

How could this be?! Where had things gone wrong?!