As the last butterfly left my apartment, I questioned if he was the god of death or the god of flashy exits. Before I could have an existential breakdown, my phone rang. Looking at the screen, I saw it was Quintin.
“Yo Gil, what’s up, dude?”
“Hey Quin, now is probably not a good time…” I said, starting to pick up the destroyed burger off the ground.
“Oh, you got some plans for tonight! Hitting up the town solo? Come on, man, wait for me to come back. I’ll be your wingman. Give me like two hours, and I can be there in time to hit up a club.”
With everything happening so quickly, I completely forgot I had a date. Then as if on command, I heard a doorbell ring. “Oh, snap! I got to go, Quin. My date is here!”
“Your what?!” Quin said before I ended the call.
I stepped over the ruined food scattered across the floor, walking to the door. “Hey there, Diane. I’m sorry, I think we have to reschedule. Something came up,” I said.
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“Oh no! Well, we can celebrate your birthday here. I’ll cook for you,” Diane said, pushing past me and walking inside. Okay, she’s the bossy type. This is probably a red flag. But anyway, I should break things off, so she doesn’t get involved with my assignment from Death.
After I closed and locked the front door, I turned around to see Diane standing in the middle of the living room. Raising her left hand, the crystal on her wristband started to grow. Her entire body started to flicker. The dress she was wearing shifted and changed into Amazonian battle attire you would only see in a documentary.
“Uh, so you’re Wonder Woman?” I said.
“Of course not. That’s just a made-up character. Wait, you’re awfully calm after witnessing that,” she said, tightening her belt filled with knives of different shapes. “Usually, people are amazed or freaked out a little.”
“Considering I just watched the god of death turn into butterflies, this is pretty tame,” I said, starting to clean up the mess on the floor.
“Regardless, your training starts tonight, maggot,” Diane said, throwing a sword and shield at me. She put her hands on her hips and wore a cocky smile.
“Hey, come on, can we not do the whole drill sergeant thing? You don’t need to make a man out of me. Let’s just get started.”
The cocky smile washed from her face. “Your whole demeanor has changed. Are you upset we didn’t get to do our date? We can do it first if you want?”
“I’m just accepting that my peaceful life is gone for the foreseeable future. Come on, let’s start this Rocky training montage,” I said, picking up the sword and shield.