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Golem core
Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It didn't take long to reach the edge of the woods but I didn't stop when I did, I walked off of the road and into the shaded cover of the forest canopy. My feet didn't sink nearly as much into the soft dirt as they had before but I did leave a distinct trail behind me. I carried on like this for at least an hour, until I was sure that there was no-one around and I slumped against a tree. It shook as I did so but it was plenty sturdy enough to support my weight. As I slid down the tree towards the soil I let my control on my thoughts slip.

All of the anger, frustration and helplessness that I had felt over the last day or so washed over me in a cascade of shitty emotions. I span around and slammed my fist into the tree, it left a large dent and a large cracking noise echoed through the forest. I didn't pay attention and punched again with my other fist, again and again. Eventually, the tree fell, it was some sort of oak and was about 30 feet high. I pushed with all of my strength and it collapsed away from me.

It was not as cathartic as I had hoped it would be. There was no pain from punching tree and I didn't even feel tired from the exertion. I couldn't even take out my frustrations by lashing out anymore. I began to realise just how inhuman I was now. It wasn't until now, in the most human body I had been in, that it set in fully. I was just a rock in a statue, I had no voice, no true face, no real body of my own. The only thing that remained of me until now had been my thoughts and my memories. They weren't even just mine anymore, that elf had taken those too. Was I even me anymore? If they were the things that defined me and they were no longer just mine, was I an individual? 

I missed my family, there really wasn't anyone here that I could really trust. Nym was nice but that was still her job, she still worshipped that same goddess and I don't know if she'd have done the same thing if she'd been in the same position as the archpriest but she probably would. What I wouldn't give to just be sat watching the same boring kids movie for the fiftieth time, I had been given a second chance in this world but I wasn't so sure anymore that was a good or a bad thing. I had died and then I had woken up here, no explanation, no transition, nothing. 

Wait, that wasn't quite right. I swear there had been something else, something in between and I couldn't even remember that. Had there been some go that had explained to me why I was here? Did I have some goal I couldn't remember? Honestly, I could use something to work towards right now. A goal I could use to further myself, to detract me from this world of arseholes and stop me from just feeling aimless.

Stolen novel; please report.

It was a few hours later that I started to actually think rationally again, my problems weren't solved, I hadn't gotten over what had happened to me and I still had no idea what I was going to do with my life here but I felt like I could function. I was going to have to return to the town at some point, I had no idea where anywhere else was or even if it would be any better, at least here I had a rough understanding of how things worked. Whilst I could just live my life as a forest hermit, I didn't want to waste my life doing that, I wanted to get stronger. I wasn't given some mystical powerful purpose by a god, sure but I wanted to at least be in a position where I didn't have to fear the people around me. 

For that I needed experience and cores, I could get both of those from the dungeon so that was where I was going to head but I was going to need to level up and join the adventurers before I could do that. I could level up by hunting monsters but that seemed needlessly dangerous, I needed to learn how to fight, learn how to fight. I might be made of rock but I don't know the creatures of this world and I sincerely doubted that I would be the scariest thing around here. Maybe I shouldn't be out in these woods. 

If I was going to go back to town I would need to get a job, that would apparently get me some experience but I didn't really want to be stuck doing something boring, like farm work, whilst I didn't get bored I would still rather be doing something more interesting and develop some useful skills. I wasn't like I was going to need to grow food for myself. Well, I guess if I had a flesh body then maybe but I didn't see myself doing that too often. I had an idea though. I had no skills at all and apparently would get any until I was level 10. I would earn skill affinity though which sounded important so I should definitely start training the skills I want to get now rather than just levelling up. 

It would be best if I could find a job that would make me a stronger golem and there was one that sprang to mind. Blacksmithing, the heat wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't get tired or bored from swinging a hammer all day, I needed a useful skill and alongside that, if I knew what I was doing I might be able to make myself a more acceptable body than my last one. I had seen a blacksmith when Nym had carried me to the Mason's and figured that could be a good a place as any. I would also need to find somewhere to learn to fight but I had no idea where one would be able to do that. I would have to ask around. 

By this point, the sun was starting to get low. I couldn't quite face going back to the city just then so I spent the night there, lying on the tree that I had knocked over, looking up at the still foreign stars I fell asleep.