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image [golden age OSAIR-Mothman.jpg]
NSA:OSAIR Agt M. Welpers
NSA:DoO J. Silvers
Foreword:
This report details the current abilities, potential influence, level of law-abiding activity, psychological makeup and potential threat levels of the significantly-abled individuals (SAIs) which are known to the Office of Significantly Abled Individuals Reporting (OSAIR) and currently operating in the United States and surrounding territories.
Summary:
No known MH/SAI is currently a discernible threat to the Operations of the United States Government on a State or Federal Level. The MH/SAIs known to this office currently exert minimal power or influence beyond the primary metropolises of their operational bases. This influence level could change relatively quickly if said MH/SAIs were to collude and coordinate their efforts to a significant degree. Said influence could be either positive or negative to the interests of the United States government, depending on the ideological bend of the groups that choose to collude.
Summaries of SAIs in this report will be reported via the following template:
Subject:
Known Abilities:
Physical Characteristics: Ht_____ Wt_____
Identity: Known Unknown
If Known:
Affiliations:
Current Ideological Orientations:
America: Pro Anti Unknown
Law/Order: Pro Anti Unknown
Threat/Influence Assessment:
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Subject: ‘Mothman’
Known Abilities: Powered, Independent flight
Physical Characteristics: Ht__5”10 Wt. 160lbs (approx.)___
Identity: Known Unknown
If Known:
Affiliations: No gangs, Org. Crime. Possibly Jewish religious groups.
Current Ideological Orientations: None known.
America: Pro Anti Unknown
Law/Order: Pro Anti Unknown
Threat/Influence Assessment:
Subject does not at this writing pose a threat to the U.S. Government. Eyewitness accounts describe him as young (late teens/early 20’s), and viewing his activities as more of a prank on authority figures than an actual dedication to a life of crime.
Subject has NOT demonstrated anti-social aspects to his public persona, such as random homicide, assault of women, or a willingness to commit pointless acts of vandalism. Agents planted in an effort to test these impulses have uniformly been left alone, even when sighted by the subject in late-night, isolated urban environments.
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The subject’s primary motivation appears to be an easy means of profit, hence the prevalence of urban financial institutions as targets.
Speech patterns of subject as described by witnesses suggest a mid-Western, rural background. Some reported phraseology suggest a familiarity with Jewish traditions and beliefs, which would fit with the pattern of isolation during formative years that an increasing number of ‘villain’ oriented SAIs are displaying under psych evaluations and profiles.
A search for the subject’s identity ought to revolve around young men of Jewish background, raised under isolated circumstances in rural, ‘Bible-Belt’ communities where families of minority religions and the display of above-average intelligence was met with suspicion or hostility. Subject in his formative years likely displayed aptitude for mechanical engineering but was left unable to pursue it at the college level due to funding issues or other factors.
Subject is best handled by local authorities, unless he displays leadership potential among other SAI miscreants. At such time an approved ‘hero’ matching his abilities ought be dispatched to nullify his flying apparatus.
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“What the hell, Jake! Since when can you-”
“Since Jane gave me what’s in that vial, Mitch. That’s magic in there. Pure magic. Won’t make us teenagers again, but it took me back quite a few years. Jane too.”
“I’m married, Jake.”
“Jane ain’t. Look, you ready or not?”
I looked at the vial, then back at him. “You said you could get my card number?”
Jake smiled and went to my phone. Grabbed the phone book he saw under my desk. Flipped through a few pages and found what he wanted.
A few punched buttons and he was in business. “Hello, is this Hollywood Video? Great,” he’d lost his Jersey accent. Now he was some clown from down south, the smallest twang in his speech. Maybe some fellow born and raised in Dallas.
“Well Hell-oooo there! My name’s John Zwaharlaminienski. Yeah, it’s a mouthful alright. Hey, I just wanted to say that I’ve been real, real happy with the service I’ve received from y’all, and I wanted to write a letter to your corporate offices about it. [pause] Well, sure! Could I have your manager’s name, then? Yep, lemme get that down… [he didn’t write it, but made noises like he was, spelling out the letters of a name I forgot even before he finished spelling it] . . . great! And what’s your store number? That’s . . . [again, four numbers that I forgot instantly] . . . great! Well, thank y’all for all you do! You bet, and you have a great day, too! God bless yuh!”
He hung up the phone. “Time?”
“One-point-five minutes so far.”
“The Scarlet Swami is on the job, Snowman! Watch an’ learn.”
And, dad-gum it, didn’t he call the place, and switched his accent again. Now his twang was a high-class New York job, smooth as Vermouth whiskey.
“Hollywood Video, this is Juliette, howcanIhelpyou?” I heard the girl sing through the receiver.
“Hi Juliette. This is Ed Shuman, I’m the manager at store 3357, over in Richland? Great. Well, could be better, really. I’ve got a problem and they told me you guys could help me out over there...great, thanks! Okay, here’s where we’re at: Our network’s down, we’ve only got the unit at the counter working. I have a customer who wants to rent a video, and he says he has an account at your store? Great. Thanks for checking on that. His name is Mitchel Winter . . . he’s in there? Great! Hey, no holds or fines, right? Good, all info’s current? Excellent. Okay, here’s where the problem is: we’re getting a lineup of folks now, and I can’t get into the network. I want to rent him the vids, but we can’t get to the . . . well, heck, yes, if you would, that’d be great! Sure. Hang on, let me make sure the pen’s working . . . [now the sum-bickle’s got a working pen in his hand]. . . okay, shoot. . .”
...Dang if that little weasel didn’t get all sixteen digits of my credit card, the expiration date, and the little three-digit code on the back!
“Hey, thanks Juliette! You really saved my bacon. I owe ya . . . no, seriously! You need any kinda help in the future, give me a holler, ‘kay? I always take care of folks who help me out . . . okay, you too. Thanks again!”
Bang goes down the phone, and he slid the number to me. “I got yours, I can get anyone’s. I can get anyone’s, I can get money to anyone. You say you’re in, Mitch, and if anything happens to you I take total care of you and yours. What d’ya say?”
I looked at his hand. It was a hand ‘way less wrinkled than the last time I looked at it. I looked at the vial. If it’d taken a good forty years off of how Jake looked- what could it do for me? Or for . . . for my wife?
All that, and a million dollars?
“In like Flynn, Jake.” I shook his hand, and that was it.
Man, if we’d only known.
I had only one question . . .
“Jake? You got a plan if any capes get into this?”
“Like who? The Airman? Guy’s gonna be shitting in a bag the rest of his life. Didn’t you hear?”
“I ain’t thinking of the Airman. You know who I mean.”
“Are you still pissing your pants about The One? You know he went back to his people back on planet Whogivesafuck, right? Or are you still wetting yer bed about the Judge, or some of the new young bucks out there?”
“Yeah, the Hanging Judge, Jake. And some of those new bucks are crazier an’ scarier than the Judge ever was. That walking ad for the Aryan nation, calls himself Primus? He’s a boy scout. No worries there, so long as we’re white and we’ve all got our papers in order. But kooks like The Dark? He hangs guys offa rooftops until the blood goes to their heads and they die of an aneurysm? Or whats’er name, Gladiatrix? The gal who castrates guys?”
“She only does that to rapists. Good riddance, I says. And The Dark? He does that to guys who sell kids. Good riddance too, says I. Primus? He’s got his hands full with guys who try to stomp on the city with giant robots. Those assclowns won’t bother with us, Mitch. Not a bunch of older guys who’re just going to heist a bank, nice an’ quiet, and take a few mil.”
“How do you know they’re gonna have their hands full, Jake?”
“Bud, come with me. Lemme show you some stuff.”
“Can’t. I got class.”
“No, you don’t. I talked to your principal. She’s gonna sub for you this afternoon, and give you a raise next year besides.”
I paused. “You fudged with my boss’ head, Jake?”
“Easiest bit of mindfucking I ever did.”
“That don’t surprise me. Let’s go.”
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