Dago and Straight were at the spaceport, waiting in line at the help desk with no receptionist. It wasn’t moving. It hadn’t moved for a long time. Straight was pretty sure the receptionist was hiding in the shadows, laughing at them, with the full support of the company. They hadn’t had a problem buying a ticket. In fact, the lady at the front desk had seemed so nice. But once they had passed through security with their non-refundable tickets, everything had changed. All the flights were delayed, no one had wanted to help them. It was like entering a prison except they had swapped out anal rape for fast food.

Dago handed a taco to Straight he had just purchased.

“How much do I owe you?”

“Twenty bucks.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, twenty bucks for tacos?”

“It was forty bucks. Twenty for each taco,” Dago said, with bits of ground canine and hard shell crumbling from his mouth.

“Fuck man,” Straight said, unbelieving. Maybe they hadn’t done away with the anal rape, just rebranded it.

Straight ate the taco, his frustration and hunger fading with each bite. When the taco was done and rational thinking had returned to his brain, he turned to Dago and said, “What do you say we get the fuck out of here? Our flight was supposed to leave thirty minutes ago and still no word on what the fuck is going on.”

“Dude, we bought non refundable tickets.”

“Yeah, but it’s not our fault they delayed the flight. They have to give us our money back.”

Dago shrugged. What the hell did it matter to him. They were just standing in line to nowhere, with no hint of moving up. He figured it was better to do something than stand around doing nothing. “Sure, let’s get the fuck out of here.

They stepped out of the queue, the line devouring the empty space behind them. Three steps away, they heard an annoying voice speak up.

“How may I help you?”

They both turned around, knowing they had heard that voice somewhere before. There in the information booth sat a female wearing oversized glasses, the beaded chain that hung from them swinging back and forth as she smacked on her gum.

“Holy shit, what the fuck are you doing here?” Straight called out as he approached the kiosk.

“Sir, you’re going to have to get back in line if you wan’t me to answer your questions,” she said, pulling her glasses down to the tip of her nose.

“It’s Dago and Straight,” he said, pointing to each of them as he said their names as to not get them confused, because let’s face it, who would want to get confused with Dago.

“We just saw you.” When she didn’t react he added, “P.” With a look of horror on her part and the realization he had just told her that they had just seen her pee, he quickly amended with, “Planet P. We just saw you on Planet P, like a month ago at headquarters.”

She paused for a second or more as she absorbed the words. She shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t know a Damo or State. Now if you could please get back in line.”

Dago leaned in over the counter. “Hey.” He moved his eyes from her tits to her name tag. “Anna Lee?” That didn’t sound right. He remembered her name being something different. He looked up into her eyes, trying to get back on track. “I don’t think I may have made the best first…” He pondered this for a second, letting his head bounce from side to side. “Or second impression, but we were just wondering what was up with the delays?”

“Hey, I was here first!” barked another man at the counter.

“I’m sorry, sir,” said Dago. “What was your question?”

“I wanted to know why my flight was delayed, and when they thought it would be coming in.”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“Perfect. His question. What’s the answer to his question?” Dago said, holding out his hand, directing Anna Lee to the man at the front counter.

“Sir,” she said, addressing the man and not Dago. “I would be happy to answer your question as soon as these men step back in line.”

“Why?” asked Straight. “His question is the same as ours.”

“Sir, if you could just step back in line.”

“Is there anyone that isn’t wondering about the delays?” Dago asked above the crowd.

Hostile agreement rose from the line.

“Sir, if you could just…” But it was too late. The line had disintegrated into chaos, the mob now gathering around her like a school of piranhas. All the questions started coming at once, all the same question. What the fuck was going on?

Dago had a different question about a bird's nest, a robin’s egg, and a snake. But she didn’t hear him over everyone else, and before he could ask again, she threw her hands up in resignation.

“All flights have been delayed, cancelled, or no longer exist until further notice. So you all just need to get the fuck over it!”

Several questions arose from the mob.

“What do you mean, further notice?”

“What do you mean, canceled?”

“How long will they be delayed?” Which was a silly question because she had already answered it. The only question they didn’t ask is the only one they should've asked, which is, “What do you mean, no longer exists?” Asking that would've led to a bunch of other questions like, “Are we all going to die?”, and “Is now a good time for me to max out my credit card?”

The only question she did answer was one of Dago’s, and not the one of his he would've picked to answer first, if given the choice.

“Can I get a refund on my ticket?”

Through a glare that could've shocked a dead hooker back to life, she answered, “Did you buy a non-refundable ticket?”

Dago answered, “Yes.” He tried to explain that the delay or cancelation was not his fault, but she cut him off after his yes with a blunt, “No.”

His series of buts to her reply were drowned out by an ocean of other questions. Straight finally pulled him from the herd, leaving Dago feeling unsatisfied with the outcome. A sensation that he would never have left her with if the tables were turned.

“Come on man, let’s go.”

“But… but… but,” Dago stammered. “What about our tickets?”

“Fuck it. Let ‘em go. We need to get the fuck out of here.”

Dago hung his head in agreement, but wasn’t happy about it.

They made their way to the front door, but first they had to snake their way through the gift shops, cafes, and news stands, where employees were in a frenzy to up prices.

When they had worked their way through the labyrinth of passageways, taking the appropriate bathroom break halfway through, they were stopped at the front door by security.

“Sorry, no one is allowed to leave.” The security said this as three people entered the doors on the outside.

“Why can they come inside, if we can’t go outside?” Straight asked.

“Because we’re running a business and we can’t make money if people don’t buy tickets.”

“But all flights are delayed.”

“That’s their problem, not mine,” the security guard replied.

“If you’re not letting people leave, why wasn’t there an announcement over the intercom?” Dago asked.

The security guard sighed. “Did you walk past the kiosks and the food court on the way here?”

They both nodded.

“Did you buy anything?”

They shook their heads. Straight threw in a “no” for good measure.

“Do you think you will on the way back? The security guard answered for them, nodding slowly and smiling.

“We’re not going back, we’re leaving,” Straight said.

“I just told you, I can’t let you leave.”

“Look man, I don’t care. We’re leaving.” Straight waited for the guard top step out of the way, but he didn’t. “Hey Dago, remember that bouncer that wouldn’t let you into the club because you banged his girlfriend’s daughter’s mom or some shit?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“You guys should know that I’ve got a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and have since I was twelve,” the guard bragged.

“So what you’re saying is that you’ve got a participation award for having yuppie parents?” Dago asked.

Straight waved Dago off. “Okay, okay. Let’s not antagonize him.” He looked down at the man’s chest, reading his name tag. “Denise.”

“It’s Dennis,” said the guard.

Straight looked back down at the man’s nameplate. “It says Denise here.”

“It’s a typo, and I’m going to need you to back away from the entrance.”

“What about him?” Straight motioned toward Dago, who was holding open an exit door and waving back at the guard. “Are you just going to let him leave?”

The guard grabbed at his radio, clipped to his collar. “Code purple SE entrance.”

Dago exited, and the guard didn’t move, just continued starring back at Straight.

“Really, you’re just going to let him go?”

The guard said nothing.

Straight stepped to the left, and the guard stepped with him. Straight stepped again, and the guard followed. You could see the hate burning in the guard’s eyes. This kind of hate wasn’t new to the guard. His lips twitched as he tried to think of something to say. Then his words went spinning as Dago pulled him backwards into the outside. Straight stepped through the doors as the guard toppled over on his ass before rolling like a pill bug onto his belly.

“Thank you,” Straight said to Dago, who was still holding the door for him.

Dago gave a curt nod back before they both stepped around the guard, who was still laying on the ground floundering and sobbing. They walked away and stepped into a world of chaos.