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Of All The Gin Joints

"Hope for the best, expect the worst."- By Some guy I want to punch

If I could be candid, why of all people did this happen to me I liked my life good shows to watch beautiful woman to… partially satisfy (cough)...eh I mean sure life had its ups and downs but that was how life worked you got to give as much as you take sadly I had no idea how true that was.

My name is-… well it was Edward Child’s I was 23 years old I was an army vet served 5 years had a few bumps and bruises from my army strong days nothing to bad just a few bumps and bruises to many. doctors said my recent changes from an uptight private to a lackadaisical sergeant was due to a personality shift and (mild chuckle) and here I thought all that daily stress just mellowed out my need to care. So no shit there I was knee deep in the shit on my first contracting gig overseas it was a simple security guard position for an exhibit of artifacts on display in an old ruin (temple or whatever the curator called it just looked dusty to me) which brings us to today June 12, 2015 the day I call the fuck fest convergence.

As I stirred from my sleep I could hear the Adhan being called through the slightly ajar window “mph fuck time is it” I mumbled in an almost complete sentence given how late I stayed up I’m surprised I put words together at all, as I struggled with my comfy captor I peer out the window from underneath my blanket to see the sunsetting on the horizon as it set the sky ablaze with a beautiful hue of vibrant oranges and mellow reds  setting the scene to its final dalliance on its stage in the sky. With my captor subdued I crawl out of bed to assess my room a few clothes strewn about the vicinity and an overflowing trash bin (first day of work and I’m already thinking of calling in) I think as I shake my head. As I make my way to my uniform across the room I start stretching my arms and legs to limber up for my patrol tonight as I’m passing the ottoman near the couch where pants are laid out on, a sudden shooting pain assaults the bottom of my right foot “aaahh” I grunt “that fucking twatwaffle” I hiss as I hop on one foot noticing my room mates back up badge on the floor with the pin facing upward “why the hell is this here” I ask an empty room I pick up the odd little badge with the two arms pulling the muscle man pose and squiggles in the middle of the badge (I swear if it isn’t this company’s wired taste in flash it’s the crew they employ) I think while staring at the design emblazoned across it above it read Medjay security “pft” I snort “fancy name shitty service” deciding to use the badge since mine hadn’t come in yet I finish closing the distance to the couch in the common area and  start to get dressed.

As I’m going through the motions at the main security office I get the rundown on how everything works and what to expect while on patrol, the usual do’s and don’ts of the areas culture and how best to get around the crowded streets whether it was day or night. Now outfitted with both my duty belt full of security essentials and my handheld radio I was ready to go on my patrol. While listening to the back and forth on the radio and getting a good laugh out of my new coworkers antics, I start to come up on the ruins (temple of dust) walking at a easy pace not in a rush to have the decrepit building set off my allergies I notice something moving along the exterior wall “great” I sigh looking around for one of the 6 guards on duty to pawn this off on to as I look down the streets that intersect the ruins I notice the streets are empty which honestly wouldn’t be all that discomforting if not for the lack of noise not a cricket nor a audible tone came from any direction. My hands already reaching for my comm radio as a subtle knot starts to grow in my stomach throughout the entire action keying the radio as I raise it to my mouth “officer Childs requesting any mobile guards to rally on possible threat at the exhibit” the words come out just fine but the tone in my voice tells a different story it comes out as squeaky beg instead of a steady command to be fair my social skills are nonexistent Its not a rare a occurrence that my voice goes Pee Wee Herman on me as I try to communicate with people in general but on the job no I’m getting bad vibes tonight and me being socially inept definitely is not the cause of the unease in my voice.

A several minutes goes by with no response a stark difference from earlier when The comms were full of chatter, the knot tightens in my gut telling me to walk away that someone else can handle whatever’s going down in the ruins I take one more look down the usually loud and overcrowded streets and key my radio one more time for good measure “any Medjay security personnel this is officer Childs requesting a radio check” 10 seconds 15 seconds , 30s as seconds turn to minutes I realize I’m on my own in my time of need. Taking a deep breath “wheeeew” I exhale from my mouth I look towards the ruins (and my impending Doom) and start to trot and slowly break into a jog across the street as I make it to the street corner I make my way to the nearest entrance to where I spotted the possible perp I reach down and unclasp my fire arm and pull it into the low ready firing stance [Click] the safety switch resounds as I switch it off, I’m all for talking out problems but it takes a firm backseat to my own personal safety and if something is going on in there id rather have less moves to make if a threat is imminent. I cross the dessert lawn and come upon the door I notice that its being held open slightly with a book keeping it from shutting I push on the door with minimal force and jut my black combat boot into replace the book as I slip it out from the doors grasp.

“Shadowshaper” printed across the colorful book of a curly headed female covers the front of the book as if doused in cold water my Face immediately breaks into a frown no self-respecting master thief or gun toting robber would be carrying this to a heist I crack the book open to look at the covers back white page to see “Happy Summer Vaykay Sammy- from Brooke” I could feel my face cramping and my eye twitching as i stare at the book trying to burn holes into it as I stare daggers at it (fucking kids definitely American) my head starts to throb from the level anger I’m feeling at my self for my own cowardice and the however many twatwaffels inside oh there was reckoning to be had and I would be its harbinger and executioner gladly. Pushing the door open wider I open it just enough to slip in but trying to minimize the amount of moonlight I let fill the dark room.

I don’t want to alert my prey just yet “mwahahaha”I laugh in my doctor evil voice imagining holding my pinky next to my mouth. Putting the book back in place as I back into the room stopping abruptly I quickly realize the alarm hasn’t been going off so whoever’s in here knows one of the big wigs running the this little dog and pony show of an exhibit, with all this old useless junk “well call me an monkeys uncle” I whisper acknowledging the possibility of my now newfound knowledge giving me a more defined outline of my quarry, I mentally start greedily rubbing my hands together in my mind as I plan to milk this situation for all its worth. Turning around and making my way into the mausoleum at the low ready with the assistance of the moonlight from the windows giving the rooms a unnatural feel as well lighting my path ahead, as I make my way out of the third room I notice a light down the hallway “oh I got them now..1..2.. Eddies coming for you” I whisper in a sing song voice as I near the end of the hallway I see the door cracked (the hells with all these damn half open doors damn kids raised in a barn ) I harshly critique in my head slowly shaking it as I admonish them internally, I catch the tail end of a conversation and hear music playing in the background as I enter hearing distance.

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(Am I wrong - by Nico & Vinz plays in the background) “I’m telling you man if I had a woman like that hell yeah id fight my brother over her” a male voice announces while laughing at the end of his sentence (probably laughs at his own jokes on a regular basis) I think rolling my eyes “you seem like the type, Desperate that is” a female voice responds and is met with a chorus of laughter after she heavily annunciates  the D in desperate, coming up on the door I peek inside to see 5 teenagers sitting around in chairs with table with red plastic cups on it I see a few beer and liquor bottles in a blue cooler full of ice next to the table as two boys are setting up a long table with cups possibly beer pong…. Of course, it is I shake my head for the third time tonight at my own stupidity.

Scanning the room I see five teens altogether three boys and two girls the boys are two Caucasian one with dirty blond hair and blue eyes 6ft way taller than my little 5’8 self but I got the muscle to put him down I gloat to my self for no apparent reason the others a ginger soulless bastard freckles allover his mug maybe an inch or two shorter then his gigantic friend, the last ones Asian just as tall as the ginger over all the dudes looked like Calvin Klein models (the bastards…fuck you genetics) then the two girls a blonde haired top model in the making and her curly haired friend probably the owner of the book miss Sammy in the flesh she was definitely mixed hair like that (pft) and no amount of tanning could get a skin tone that even “Sam no need to feel left out there’s enough of me to go around” the Asian jokingly says as he stands up and spreads his arms Sammy and blondie both snort and join the boys by the table and start helping with the setup.

“maybe some day Ryan you’ll grow a personality to go with that ego” she says while never looking up from the task in front of her during their exchange I was looking for anything to be concerned about before I busted in bad boys style sure there wasn’t any cause for concern as I’m moving already with the theme song running through my mind ( Bad boys Bad boys watcha gonna do when they come for you #@#!# all day $%$#%%$) sue me I don’t know the lyrics I internally shrug as my shoulder hits the door I notice something painfully  obvious to anyone paying attention there where eight chairs in around the table but 5 teens (well shit) all conversations stopped and were replaced with shrieks from what sounded like 5 girls (heh) seems I’m on a power trip tonight.

“Don’t Move!!!” I shout while pointing my fire arm in at a low angle to not flag them with my barrel don’t need any incident reports about a black man shooting rich kids the media would be in a frenzy I silently chuckle at the irony “alright tell me who let you in here and where the rest of you are???” I ask the group in a stern tone to Sammy’s merit she looks the calmest out of the group seconded by her female cohort they start speaking at once which yay for singing like a canary but their voices sound like wild geese while talking in union “Stop!! stop please one at a time” I quickly respond and massage my forehead with my free hand “They went to the back to look around David’s dad owns half the artifacts on display he let us in” Blondie said as soon as Sam closed her mouth (yes little bird sing mwahaha) seriously I’m sounding more a 80s cartoon villain more and more next ill be monologuing my plan as they escape my clutches.

“Yeah me willow and our friends just wanted to see the exhibit we don’t really know him” Sam followed up with head nods from the three stooges I could the wheels of the bus they threw David under passing by I sigh and lower my firearm “So who’s old enough to buy liquor” I say sweeping my gaze bout the room bringing up the third law they’ve broken today “Umm were seniors sir” Ryan says looking any where but my eyes I snort “yeah high school seniors so how old’s David” I mock him as I’m closing the clasp of my holster clipping my firearm back into its little home “um..I uh think he’s 21 I’m not sure” willow answers “honestly we thought if we came as a group to hangout we wouldn’t be in any danger from him if we were vulnerable” so David’s  got a thing for jailbait… well 18 is legal but still though “how old are you all of you” i say pointing to blue eyes “I just turned 18, Ryan did a few months back, Aarons & willow are 17 and Sam’s birthdays today“ blue eyes tall guy dragon says while pointing everyone out  I look down at my watch and say “happy birthday Sam welcome to adulthood and consequences” with a bit of mirth in my voice as I’m about to ask of David’s whereabouts speak of the devil and he shall appear. Coming around a corner with two girls a brunette and a platinum blonde, come into view the brunettes hairs looking pretty wild somebody got busy in the back room and looks like it wasn’t girl on girl seeing as how her friends appeance is prim and proper, which is odd enough given where they came from. If I had any form of sixth sense I would have probably took off running from the room at that very moment or at least waited to open my big mouth, I mean if this was a light novel or a movie i’d at least have learnt everyone’s name before shit happened.

AsI took a step to the side to see beyond the statue of a jackal headed man to see Mr. David himself tossing some artifact up with a smirk of a man that just got some action everything slows down, I’m not sure what I said in this moment but his face makes an O, all joy and self-appreciation draining from his face. The artifact still in the air from his last toss of it, no longer making it to the safety of his other freed hand hits the ground and all hell breaks loose. Everyone heard the resounding crack, all eyes turn towards David then the tugging sensation began and a blinding light. Everything was spinning out of focus and went from bright white to black as the last thing we hear is the clock chime signaling midnight. seems my watch was a minute or two fast little did I know a celestial event was happening causing electronic interference with electromagnetic signals making it impossible to make a phone call, watch satellite dish or call for back up on a radio I don’t know what  David dropped but whatever it was cleared a room and left nothing behind.

In a room once occupied by several people now sitting empty, all that’s left of are piles of clothes and shoes.Static rings out into an empty room full of clothes strewn about the exhibits floor some next to two tables others next to a statue of Anubis one pile in particular a security uniform with a holstered gun and squelching radio keying out “hey Childs you there” “hey you bum the silent alarms are going of in the exhibit check it out” silence falls once again  “..Childs…”  "All Clear Here" A familiar voice responds. 

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