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God-Ish
Chapter 51: Of Two Minds (2)

Chapter 51: Of Two Minds (2)

In MO, northeastern area of Isluna. Compound Dungeon of Campus Martius—Laconicum.

“Huh. So that’s the one that everyone refers to as, ‘The Diviner’? How exactly did you get him of all people to assist us, Leader? I thought he was on an entirely different server.”

“Albel? We were partied together a few times before, so I called him in as a favor. Today’s DOR boss was estimated to be the strongest one since the Erinyes’ removal after all.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. You had a chance to actually fight in that broken raid, didn’t you? Must’ve been pure hell and chaos overseeing that.”

“It was, and a chance is probably a good way to put it too. It was definitely the hardest raid I've ever experienced—and we probably wouldn’t have succeeded if it weren’t for Albel’s help.”

“You don’t say? Coming from someone like you, that’s one hell of a compliment.”

I could overhear two party members chatting some distance away due to the open proximity comms. We had just completed a rather difficult DOR boss, where everyone was now looking over their loot and discussing the battle. It was a long-forgotten memory, one that I was somehow able to recount vividly all of a sudden.

“Albel! Good work out there. Another day, another lootless boss, right?”

The leader of the guild, Ender Monarchs. There were several players within MO that had held especial titles, similar to that of my ‘The Diviner’ one. Those that had been deemed worthy of a moniker through their own effort—‘The Evil Eye’ before me had been such a case. There wasn’t a Hexblade that could match him.

“Did you come over here just to rub that in, Israfil? Does my misfortune bring a smile to your face? I feel as if that’s what your tone is implying.”

“Haha! Always quick to bite. No need to sulk, there’s always next time.”

“Man, I feel as if I hear that way too often whenever I’m partied with you. Wait, maybe you’re one of the reasons for my string of bad luck?! I really should stop pairing with you...”

“C’mon, don’t go saying that, Albel!”

We chatted for a few and joked around, as the random and stray memory then faded into black. Yet, even as I opened my eyes, a partially dark enclosure—one bespeckled with a seemingly faint series of traveling luminescence—now encircled me. It felt as if I were watching the descent of stars in the distance as another small light drifted right by my face.

“Where is this...? Just a second ago, I was...?”

The crystal clear image of a descending blade flickered in mind as I probed at where I had been previously. My body felt weightless as it drifted slowly in the air, yet I wasn’t exactly flying as my feet touched upon an invisible ground.

“Wait, did I actually die...?”

I was too late in countering against Yojim’s assault after all. Even so, oddly enough, I didn’t feel frightened by that realization. And as I looked below, toward my feet, my body was seemingly translucent from the neck down. An apparent spiritual outline with no real substance, no clothing, flesh nor bone.

“Ah. I really screwed up this time, didn’t I? But I feel calm? I don’t remember feeling like this when that Goddess said I was dead...”

I decided to look around a bit as I walked forward. It was silent, peaceful—a place that felt eerily comforting in a similar vein to that of Dormou’s atmosphere. And in due to that, a certain, familiar face came to mind during my aimless travel. A sudden voice then followed behind me within a second after.

“Albel.”

I quickly turned at the pull of her voice. I was now being approached by a pink-haired, spectral entity. Was it truly Marna? Did she somehow arrive at the cusp of simply thinking about her? These thoughts were swift to rise, yet I was still skeptical. I couldn’t exactly tell as the presence was also translucent—faceless even. Not only that, there was a further irregularity in their appearance. The coloration of their hair was shifting between two shades, from pink to white—glitching back and forth.

“Marna...? No... Just what exactly are you...?”

It stood before me, unresponsive in replying as it silently stretched its hand outward to me. It was as if it were inviting me to come along with them. I felt naturally drawn in by their presence, an urging desire to be cradled and comforted even arose. It was odd, as my eyes became weighty and of swayed vision—an intoxication of my senses. I reached out to her, edging closer toward the touch of her hand. And the moment they met, a voice came from further beyond her as the pink-haired, spectral figure then split into a series of small orbs imbued with a dying glow.

“Why are you still hesitating, my liege?”

Amid the floating array of spheres, my sight was locked onto an orange pair of fierce eyes in the distance. A young, blue-haired girl, lying against a faint, spectral beast that was seemingly at rest. Her body was similar to my own—a spiritual outline without substance from the neck down.

“Huh? Are you...?”

“It’s tedious to watch. You keep pulling your punches, and now look at you. Be grateful that I dragged you here to reflect. You're still alive, and be at ease in any other worry too, as time works differently here. We’re frozen within this isolated realm that is in your mind after all.”

Her voice was sprinkled in irritation as she complained and addressed a separate concern I hadn’t actually given any thought toward. And for whatever reason, she didn’t give me any time to even respond back as she continued.

“Your own life is on the line, yet you still consider the other worthy enough to risk keeping alive? You have the limitless power of the Arcane at your fingertips, yet you hold back? I even assisted you, allowing you to invoke your title and yet you subconsciously even further lessened the severity of that skill too? What was it called, [Divine Gale]? Are you an idiot?”

I was evidently being berated for a reason beyond me, by someone I only had an inkling of an idea as to who they possibly were. She hadn’t moved even slightly either as she stared daggers my way.

“Why are you so reserved, my liege? Is it because they are also human? From your memories, you don’t seem to show that sort of restraint against mindless beasts, yet you didn’t refrain from killing that Lesser Lich either. So, I ask you; on what grounds do you draw your line? On one that can kill, or one that can’t?”

She allowed silence to approach upon her one-sided conversation for a minor moment, as I then began questioning myself in reaction to her words. It wasn’t something I had really considered at all during my time in Aerith. My decisions were basically hinged on the situation and moment, each and every time. I had wanted to save the three Disians in the mountain ruins because they were once people, but that alone was a difficult task. I had wanted to quell the anger of the Higrant Giant only because I didn’t believe I could beat him by myself. I didn't feel as if killing or not killing were exactly explicit in my choices of action.

That Lesser Lich, Gahell, was the same, wasn’t it? I saw him as a monster, one with the ability to speak but was adamantly against the idea. Would have I done the same if he were a human, or one from another race...? Could I even intentionally kill a person...?

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“Do you have nothing to say? Why have you been so quiet this entire time?”

She was seemingly eager to hear my reply as she suddenly broke her prior silence.

“Ah. Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you at first, since you seemed like you had a lot you wanted to say. But now—grrgh!”

It came swifter than the snap of one’s finger as she suddenly teleported in front of me. She held a scowl on her face that was accompanied by the slam of her spectral elbow within my own spiritualized stomach. I could feel a shock of pain jolt through my entirety. It was unfathomable just how painful it was.

“...Why, and why does it hurt so much...?!”

“Your current appearance is that of your own soul, which can only happen here, so that pain is unfiltered and raw. You still have a long way to go until you can enter this place without my help though, since just knowing of it isn’t even half the walk here. It’s an isolated plane for you and only those you’ve allowed inside.”

Her arms were crossed against her chest as she watched me grip at my stomach with a raised brow. Despite her small frame, she was rather brutish even if she held a respectful way of speaking. Her true demeanor seemed to match the ferocity of her orange eyes quite well.

“Now, properly answer my question, my liege. As one that insists on standing upon the frontlines despite their way of fighting and reticence to take another’s life—what say you?”

“I...don’t really know for sure...”

She shifted her stance, seemingly now readying herself for another elbow strike in my direction. I frantically gestured her to wait with outward hands as I then continued.

“What I mean by that is, I can’t really say for certain as it depends on the situation at hand..."

“I won’t let you sidestep the question. I’ll rephrase it instead. That man, Yojim, would have killed you if it weren’t for me. He’ll surely attempt to kill you on your return too.”

She walked forth, completely closing any distance between us as she now stood near my chest. She began gesturing with her fingers for me to crouch slightly to her level. And since I didn’t want another elbow to my gut, I obliged. Her hands immediately grabbed at my jaw as she leveled my eyes with hers.

“Don’t lie to me and don’t look away. That man will kill you if you allow it, if you refrain from meeting him with that same intent that carries his blade to you. So, I ask you instead; will you kill that man before he kills you?”

Her words were delivered with an unyielding desire for an answer. And that answer was simple, yet complicated at the same time. I wanted to live, that went without needing to be said. But that meant, when push came to shove, I would need to kill others in order to survive. She demanded an answer to that implied question—are you willing to kill in order to not be killed? I thought about it calmly as I finally gave my answer.

“Yes, since my death wouldn’t involve just me.”

Familiar faces flickered in mind as I reaffirmed my answer with a close-eyed nod. I had a home now, one that I wanted to return to. One that I promised to return to. Yet, as I opened my eyes, I was then greeted with a sudden headbutt as the young girl released me upon impact.

“Grrgh!”

“Why are you suddenly acting so smug? Anyway, that reassures me as someone who is affixed to you, since we are bound by title—by pact."

She resumed standing with her arms crossed against her chest as her eyes looked away. It seemed my initial guess was correct after all. The person before me was Haifalaura, the Celestial of the Moon.

“So, you saved me...?”

She nodded to my question, to which I couldn’t help but smile. We hadn’t even introduced ourselves to one another, never having even spoke to each other until now. She was a spiritual, primordial being. One that couldn’t die even if I did, at least that was something I had initially assumed was the case. Still, her sudden act had safeguarded me against a dire event. Whether that was for herself or not didn't matter to me.

“I see. Thank you for that, Haifalaura.”

“Don’t thank me. Instead, tell me how exactly do you plan on keeping yourself alive against that man.”

“Well...”

I hadn’t a clue. His speed was unmatched, and the force of his sword was unrelenting. Yojim wasn’t someone I could run around and attack from a distance. I needed to match him, blow for a blow, somehow. That was a tactic that wasn’t exactly foreign to me, but matching someone of his strength was a bit of an issue.

“His free-flowing sword. I need to properly counter it after all, that’s the only way. Preferably in close quarters.”

“Exactly, you have the right idea at least. Your approach is often ample, yet you simply lack intensity. You have a way with developing off-shot spells, so I believe you should continue in that direction. You could possibly change how you’ve been using them too. You don’t always have to release the spell right away either.”

I was rather surprised that she was giving me advice, but it felt comforting having someone else to discuss these sorts of things with.

“How I use them, huh...?”

It then occurred to me at her use of the word ‘release’, something I hadn’t specifically tried after all. I had already laid the groundwork for it through other instances, but never did I attempt it all alone. It was also similar to how Yojim was currently fighting as I remembered the stray winds amid his attacks.

“So, that’s what I can do? Ah. I think I’ve got something. Thanks for your help, Haifalaura.”

“Like I said, I don’t need your thanks. Putting that aside, you have other things you surely need to address before you leave too.”

She declared this while looking above. Both of our eyes were now following the slow fall of a slightly lit orb. And as she allowed it to land unto her palm, she motioned it my way.

“Like that vision from before. Here, you should be able to see it more clearly as your mind has properly sifted through that blurry mess.”

Immediately touching upon the orb, I was forced fed a vision from Cruubi’s perspective once again. This time though, it was far clearer than before. I could now make out two people that were accompanying Eru—Lukos and Astrid—as well as Eru herself. All three were inside of a run down church. Something was strange though, as Eru was kneeling and unmoving. I then noticed it.

“What in the world is that...?”

“It’s unnerving that even I can feel whatever it is from inside here. Something has to be done, right? And since you’re busy, do you want me to handle it instead?”

“Hm? You would do that?!”

I couldn’t help but exclaim my astonishment aloud as she then glared my way.

“Why are you acting so surprised? You’ll be busy dealing with that man after all, and as I said, I can feel it from even here. Whatever it may be, its existence transcends boundaries.”

Her expression was serious and yet questioning as she hid her mouth behind her hand in thought. If she were to handle it, then it would definitely be a lifesaver. I was doubtful toward the idea of asking Yojim if I could just leave mid-fight upon my return, since that same man was aiming for my life.

“If you would, I’d really appreciate it. But how exactly do you plan on getting over there in time?”

She pointed at the orb in my hand as she responded.

“That other summon of yours, Cruubi, was it? I should be able take its place as long as you allow it. It’ll un-summon the creature for now, but that shouldn’t be an issue, right?”

I had yet to recall Cruubi ever since summoning it, and I wasn’t currently aware on whether or not there was any problems involved in doing so. Cruubi was a summon, it couldn’t exactly 'die’ to begin with either.

“It should be fine. No, more so, we should definitely do that. The faster you get there, the better, I think.”

“Are you sure? I did offer my assistance, but you do understand that I won’t be able to help you again if something happens against that man, don't you?”

It wasn’t even a question that I needed to think all too much about.

“It’s fine. If something is happening to Eru, then saving her takes priority. Besides, after your pep talk, I don’t think I’ll lose against him again. So, don’t worry about me.”

My hand was already instinctively drawn out as I began patting at Haifalaura’s blue-head of hair. Upon that realization, I flinched slightly before noticing that Haifalaura was simply looking away, with a rather stoic expression on her face.

“If you say so.”

It only lasted for a few seconds as she then swatted at my hand and began walking back to the spectral beast in the distance. She was then teleported near it as she looked back my way.

“I’ll trust in your resolve, my liege. You’ll be forced out of this realm within a few seconds. Leave the girl to me, and good luck.”

As she placed her hand upon the spectral beast, its eyes opened. The two then began to glitch in a similar manner as the pink-haired, spectral entity from earlier. And before the two disappeared entirely, she murmured something that met my ears in a close whisper somehow.

“And don’t you dare lose.”

I was now the only one left in the void of bespeckled lights, ones that I assumed to be possibly memories, given the prior orb she had handed to me. I took a deep breath as the space began to shift and fade—I was seemingly being removed now.

Just hang tight, Eru. Once I’m through with this guy, I’ll head over to you myself. That's right, I won't lose this time—against any and all odds. It's time for round two!

I could feel myself smiling with a renewed sense of determination and decisiveness, as I was then completely pulled from the timeless realm.