Sophia got up early and went to the library as soon as it opened the next morning. She needed something to distract her from the oddly intimate mental conversation she’d had with Isaac the previous night. She took a seat in the corner, farthest away from the front desk, and logged onto the computer. She spent several minutes searching online for Camilla Arlett and Project Camilla, sorting through every hit that came up on the page. It turned out the name was more common than she had initially supposed. A full day of research yielded no solid results, and she went to bed feeling defeated. It was only after she had lain awake for hours that she realized she had another way to find what she was looking for: the third floor. She hadn’t had a haul from Jude in a while.
She planned to go and find him the following day, but to her surprise, she saw him in the Meadow Lobby when she was waiting around for a dreaded therapy session with Hazel. He was sitting by the fireplace, and he barely acknowledged her when she sat next to him. After she finished telling him what she wanted, he was silent for so long that she thought he’d spaced out halfway. Then he said:
“Count me out this time.”
“But I need you.”
“Aw. That’s sweet.”
“Shove it. I just meant that I’ve never actually been to the third floor, remember? I wouldn’t know the first thing about breaking in.”
“Look, I’m---it’s just that I’m not really up to planning a heist right now because---” He stopped and looked away. “It’s Valerie,” he said quietly.
All other thoughts were extinguished in the cold wave of fear that swept over her.
“Has something happened?” she said hoarsely. With a sick feeling in her stomach, she suddenly remembered that she hadn’t seen Val in weeks.
“I went to see her in the infirmary last night. Before I left, she asked me to talk you into visiting her before---before it was too late.”
Sophia began to shake her head. Jude leaned over and placed one of his hands on top of hers. He squeezed her fingers in a grip that would’ve been painful if it was possible for her to feel anything other than the numbness that was spreading through her body like a slow-acting poison.
“Can I see her now?” she asked finally.
“Don’t have you therapy soon?”
“Yeah, but when has that ever been a commitment I honored?”
He grinned and stood up, pulling her to her feet. Still holding her hand, he looked quickly back and forth before leading her quickly across the lobby floor and out the doors. The blood was pounding in her ears. With every step, her heart sank lower in her chest, and the icy grip of panic tightened on her guts. When they walked into the infirmary, a nurse tried to turn them out, insisting that the patient needed to rest. Sophia considered throwing a right hook into the woman’s side, but then a small voice from behind one of the bed curtains called out:
“Please, Marina?”
Sophia and Jude stepped around the nurse without waiting for permission and pulled back the curtain to stare down at Val---or rather, what was left of her. The emaciated face on the pillow was almost as pale as the bedsheets. But the eyes were still Val’s; they sparkled out from the gaunt sockets like barely visible stars in a black sky.
“Why the long faces? You’re not at a funeral---yet,” Val said with a grin that made her look like a skull.
“What’s wrong with you now, Dupeneti ?” Sophia said. She tried to return her friend’s grin, but the muscles around her mouth wouldn’t move.
“Nothing much. Just a minor case of approaching death.”
Val tried to sit up, winced, and then fell back down onto her pillows. Her limbs were nothing but brittle sticks encased in flesh.
“The souls have finally won,” she said with a cough that shook her whole body. “Look at me. I’m hideous. I knew it’d happen one day, but I was hoping to at least make it to my eighteenth birthday so I could vote. Not like I would ever get the chance, but it’d be nice to know I could, you know? I get a power rush just thinking about it. But I guess there’s nothing left for me now but the steady decline into the grave. Thanks for coming to see me off.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Sophia said, angry at her friend’s nonchalance. “You’re at a place that specializes in caring for mutants. Why aren’t they doing something to help you?”
“Because they’re useless. Feel free to eat my memories when I die, Soph. You don’t have to abstain because we’re friends or anything.”
“I don’t want your memories,” Sophia said, her eyes stinging with tears. “I want you.”
“Honestly I’m glad it’s over. My power is so hard. I mean, I don’t wanna bitch and moan too much. I know a lot of people here have it worse, but God, I’m tired, Soph.”
Sophia fell to her knees beside the bed and rested her elbows on the blankets so that she and Val were eye level.
“I love you,” she whispered. She reached out and put her hand on Val’s thin, tiny shoulder.
Another ghastly grin flashed across her friend’s face.
“I love you too, babe.”
“How…how long do you think…”
“Marina thinks I’ll be cold by Wednesday, but I’ll try to make it to Thursday morning just to spite her.”
“Wednesday?” Jude said. That was just two days away. The fear and pain on his face broke Sophia’s heart, and she had to avert her gaze.
“I love you too, Fitzpatrick,” Val said. “And you’ve known for years this was coming, so try not to be a pussy about it .”
“Fuck off.” His voice broke.
“Why don’t you---” Val’s returning insult was cut off in another violent fit of coughing. She closed her eyes and was so still that for a moment Sophia thought she was gone. Then she parted her cracked lips and said: “Come to think of it, maybe I’ll just die right now. Spite’s not worth extending this kind of energy. And you guys are here. It’s kinda perfect.”
The three of them sat in silence for a long time. Eventually Marina pulled back the curtain and informed them that visiting hours were over.
“We’ll be back,” Sophia said, dropping a light kiss on Val’s wasted forehead.
“Yeah, don’t even thinking of fucking dying without us,” Jude said fiercely.
Val chuckled weakly. “I wouldn’t dare.”
***
Sophia felt like she endured twenty years’ worth of pain in the next two days. They went to see Val whenever they had a free moment, but it didn’t feel like enough. Every time Sophia was away from her friend’s bedside, she was assaulted with horrible mental images of Val dying alone, slipping beyond the curtain with no one holding her hand or whispering comforting words in her ear. The vast relief that flooded her whenever she saw Val lying in bed with her eyes open was enough to break her in two.
On Wednesday afternoon, Sophia and Jude decided to skip lunch to visit. But when they arrived, Marina was standing at the door with a nervous look on her face.
“I’m sorry. I can’t allow you to go in today,” she said.
“What?” Jude said, raising his eyebrows in a way Sophia recognized by now as the precursor to an angry outburst.
“Valerie needs rest, especially now. It’s important for her to experience as little stress as possible.”
“It’s not like we’re gonna go in and bang on trash can lids,” Jude said. “Where’s this coming from, Marina? Did we do something wrong?”
Marina bit her bottom lip and looked around. She seemed jumpy.
“Who told you to keep us out?” Sophia asked sharply.
“It’s not like that, Sophia. This is standard medical practice at the Institute. Patients nearing the end of their lives often have explosions of power that put everyone around them at risk. The only people who are authorized to be there are the doctors and nurse practitioners. Please try to understand.”
“Yeah, we understand,” Jude said loudly. “We understand this is bullshit. Let us in, lady, or I’m going to get real upset.”
“Jude.” Sophia put her hand on his arm. “It’s not her fault. It’s okay. We’ve already said our goodbyes anyway.” She smiled at Marina. “Sorry to bother you.”
She grabbed Jude’s sleeve and pulled him away, not letting go until they had rounded the corner and vanished from Marina’s sight. Jude glared down at her.
“What the hell, Montgomery?”
“Obviously I’m not okay with this either. I just needed you to chill for a second. You were seconds away from punching her in the face.”
“I wouldn’t say punching. Firmly pushing, maybe.”
Sophia crossed her arms over her chest, thinking for a moment. “I have an idea…but I haven’t done it in a while, so I might be rusty.”
“Done what?”
“I used to pull this trick when I was on the road with my sister. When we needed somewhere to sleep, I’d use my power to manipulate people into letting us stay places. I would sow false memories in their minds, make them think they knew us or that we had a reservation. I could use it on Marina and make her think we have permission to see Val.”
“How long does it last?”
“If nothing contradicts the fabrications I put in her head, then who knows? We’ll probably eventually be caught, but by then Val will be dead and we’ll have said our goodbyes, so who gives a shit?”
Jude was looking at her with undisguised admiration. “That’s a scheme worthy of me.”
“That’s not the compliment you think it is, but I figured now’s not the time to be overly scrupulous.”
“Okay, I’m down. Let’s not waste any more time because I doubt Val’s got much left.”
They hurried back to the infirmary. As soon as they pushed open the door, they saw Marina at the front desk. Her eyes widened, and she jumped to her feet.
“I already told you—”
Sophia walked rapidly towards her and looked her directly in the eyes. After a few seconds, she caught hold of her signal and launched herself into the nurse’s mind. She thought this trick would be difficult for her since she was out of practice. But it came to her smoothly. After a moment, Marina’s eyes quieted, and she gave them both a dreamy smile.
“Oh hello, you two,” she said in a much calmer tone. She waved languidly towards the curtained beds. “She’s waiting for you.”
“Thanks so much,” Sophia said. She beckoned to Jude and they walked quickly towards Val’s bed.
Their friend was so small and withered at this point that she was in danger of sinking right through her mattress. Her breath was ragged and slow. Sophia sat down on one side of the bed and Jude sat on the other. They each took one of Val’s hands. She opened her eyes.
“Hey,” she rasped with a faint twitch of the lips. “Am I hallucinating? Eh. Don’t give a shit. I’ll take it.”
“We’re really here,” Sophia whispered.
“And Jude?”
“Yeah, me too.” Jude’s voice was so quiet Sophia could barely hear him.
“Do you remember when we first met?”
“’Course.”
“You were a real fuckin’ weirdo.”
“Says the Ghost Girl.”
“Oh boooo….” Val choked on her words, and for a moment her body was wracked with wet coughing. “Do you remember the Valentine cupcakes?” she wheezed.
“My colon wishes it could forget.”
Val grinned; her mouth took up half her emaciated face, and for a horrifying moment she was all teeth and gums.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
“Hey, Soph. Soph?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“I was so happy when you sat next to me. Thank you.”
“You’re the one who did me a favor.”
Val’s sunken eyes stared off into the distance for a moment.
“Huh. What a fun twist.”
Sophia and Jude exchanged worried looks.
“What’s wrong, Val?” Jude asked.
“Wrong? Nothing at all. Hey, Soph?”
“Yeah?”
“She’s here.”
“Who?”
But Val was silent, and her breathing grew more labored. Then she said:
“Jude, don’t forget to keep extra blankets in your room.”
“Stop talking, Valerie,” Jude said. His voice was infused with a tenderness Sophia had never heard before. For the next few minutes, the only thing she could do was lay her head down on the bed and weep silently.
After a while, Val’s breathing ceased and the room was filled with a bottomless silence. Her hand grew stiff and cold, and on her face was a pale mark of finality that Sophia recognized. Suddenly there was a glimmer in the semi-darkness, and then dozens of bubbles erupted from Val’s body---luminescent, glowing pearls of translucent beauty. They hung in the air for a moment, shimmering, and then headed straight towards Sophia. She held out her arms and embraced them.
Val’s mind looked like a cheese grater; it was a world of jagged edges and broken images. Had her ability done this to her, shredded her mind bit by bit until nothing coherent was left? Sophia’s heart ached, and she clung to every tattered bubble, wishing she could hold each one forever.
Gravel crunching...she dug in her heels, yelling... a big red hand over her own, with fingers like sweating meat...
Diana---her body twisting and vanishing beneath big black car wheels, a windshield flashing in the sun as it turned upside down---her scream silenced by the horrible sounds of tearing flesh and crunching bones--- then her sister was standing by her side, transparent and covered with gore---
Oh no. No no no no no no no no no no no---
Staring at the back of Momma’s head...hair twisted at the nape of her neck like a cinnamon bun.
How long will I be here?
Not long, Momma said in the same voice she used when Val would ask when Dad was coming home.
I’m scared. I don’t like it here.
Well then get better so you can come home.
She slumped in her seat, refusing to move even when Momma came around and opened up the car door. Even when the men came and dragged her out onto the gravel. Even when Momma begged her to stand up, tried to pull her to her feet, wrapped her arms around her for one last hug. She didn’t move. Didn’t raise her arms to return the embrace. Instead she slumped against her mother’s chest as if her bones had liquified. Seething.
It’s the ghost girl. The words encircled her head like pecking pigeons.
That’s the girl who eats dead people.
I don’t, it’s not true, I try to help them…someone tell them I’m…
Don’t look at her.
You don’t have to be afraid. Please…
Don’t look…
…please…
A little girl wearing footie pajamas and clutching a stuffed dog plushie. Her enormous, translucent eyes gazed across the dining hall with so much sadness in them that Val found herself wishing her power wouldn’t work today….
Please…please just let her pass on without me…go away…
But she felt their souls already trying to fuse; the little girl was screaming, her face warping horribly. Two magnets resisting each other; chaos erupting around her as she slid off her seat and onto the floor.
Ghost girl---ghost girl---ghost girl---Diana’s bloody face, blonde hair matted to her skull and neck---nononononononononononono---
There was a boy in the bed next to her. His skin was mint-green, the exact color of the bedsheets.
You’re the Ghost Girl.
Screw you.
Is that your first or last name?
She laughed. She hadn’t laughed in a while.
I’m Jude.
I’m Valerie.
A slew of pearly, translucent figures. A man with his neck bent at an odd angle. A woman with a gunshot wound in her head. A little boy with a thin, emaciated face. A man with no fingers. A woman with a bleeding, gaping mouth and no teeth.
So many days in bed.
She got lost on the way to her room, ended up in a shadowy hallway with flickering lights. Nervous, she tried the nearest door. Locked. Shivering, she moved away and turned a corner and almost ran right into the girl who was hurrying out of an open door on the right. The girl stumbled, her mouth a perfect “o” of surprise. She was beautiful, but in a fragile and fleeting way, like a rainbow. She had hair as red as pomegranates, and she appeared slightly out of breath. A layer of sweat shone on her brow.
You shouldn’t be down here. Get out before he finds you too.
It must be because she was the Ghost Girl. Nobody wanted to be seen with her, including this girl, because she was a freak, a loser---
Get out!
The girl grabbed her hand and pulled her roughly down another hall and to a door. She pushed it open, revealing a staircase, and nudged Val through.
Thanks for showing me the way out.
Don’t ever come down here again. The girl’s lip trembled slightly, and Val saw tears trembling on her lashes.
What’s wrong?
But the girl redhead only looked at her. Her expression of terror would haunt Val for the rest of her life.
A man with a long, sad face, holding a bunch of crumpled newspapers. A woman smeared with filth from head to toe. A young boy with a shaved head, wearing a hospital gown. An old man with sunken cheeks and a toothless smile.
Every time they came, she had to go to bed for days, drowning in sheets which smelled like sweat and armpits. The only person who came to visit her was Jude. He even brought her flowers once.
Evelyn Montgomery. It was the only doctor name that didn’t make her guts churn with nervous fear, though Evelyn was definitely scary in her own way. It was her eyes. They were always so still and expressionless, no matter what the rest of her face was doing. But she never poked and prodded Val like the other doctors did. She never called her Ghost Girl either. It was always “Valerie,” said with a smile and a slight accent on the last ‘e.’ Val liked Evelyn---despite her eyes.
Evelyn talked about her daughters. The warmth in her voice made Val ache. She wondered if her own mother ever sounded like that when talking about her.
Doctor Montgomery sitting by the window, the sunshine dancing on her glossy hair.
Doctor Montgomery in the cafeteria, talking to a colleague, laughing so that all her teeth and gums showed.
Doctor Montgomery standing in front of her with a clipboard, a pensive frown on her face, her moist, rosebud lips pursed together. She smelled like tulips and grass and something else, something earthy that made Val’s heart race.
No, Valerie, stop, we can’t do that.
Please, Evelyn.
Shhh, go back to sleep, there’s a good girl.
Everything inside of her broke into a thousand pieces when those brown eyes stared at her with such profound pity.
She was in bed. The nurse was chattering over her head to another nurse. They were ignoring her. Maybe they didn’t realize she was awake. They sounded panicky. Or excited? Some residents broke out, they were saying. The alarm had been sounded.
Doctor Montgomery hadn’t come into work this morning.
She felt a cold pit in her stomach. It grew and swallowed her lungs, her heart.
A Valentine cupcake on the floor. It was so pink it hurt her eyes. So many were flattened out like little squashed hats across the wall, stuck to the floors, the ceiling. Hazel was screaming in fury while Jude looked down at her from his corner on the ceiling, stuck to the wall like a spider, his grinning face smeared with frosting. Val used the distraction to spit out the mouthful she had bitten off only moments before. They were slippery and undercooked, and they congealed into a tasteless glob in the mouth. She was glad he’d ruined the rest of them.
Flowers in a vase. Giant crimson baubles dangling over the lip of blue ceramic.
A bespectacled girl with a long braid, glaring at her from a shadowy corner. Her chest was covered with blood, which streamed from a jagged chest wound. She was full of visceral emotions; they pulsated through Val’s body with such force it physically hurt her. The strongest one of all was regret, sorrow so profound it took over everything else and Val blacked out.
More days that smelled like sweaty bedsheets.
She picked her bedroom lock and went wandering, ducking out of sight whenever she saw the patrolling nurse ambling down the hallway. As she passed a door on the right, she heard someone sobbing. She dug around in her pocket until she found a handkerchief. She bent down and slipped it beneath the door, then turned and continued down the hallway in silence.
A girl came up to her table, stuttering apologies, her cheeks turning apple-red. Her lashes were so long they tangled together, and they fluttered nervously against her skin. She had the greatest hair Val had ever seen: wild, reckless curls the warm rich color of freshly ground coffee beans
She said her name was Sophia Montgomery. Val had heard of her arrival but had never expected to meet her. She looked a lot like Evelyn---and yet not like her at all. Her eyes were the exact same color as chocolate syrup. Val found herself telling her she could take a seat, and then she felt an immediate wave of regret. No, no, this was bad, she couldn’t afford to be too friendly.
But she found out fast that this new girl was weird too. When Val mentioned her power, she got an intensely interested look on her face. She wasn’t scared. She was curious.
Lots of salads and discarded desserts that Sophia couldn’t eat. With every meal, Val was left dizzy with excitement. She was so afraid that she would say or do something weird, something that would screw it up. But Sophia kept sitting with her. Day after day.
She never called her Ghost Girl. She didn’t even know who she was.
The clouds gathered outside the big bay window in the lobby. There was a thunk-thunk-thunk noise behind her. Someone playing ping pong.
I met Sophia Montgomery a couple days ago, Jude was saying. I don’t know if I like her.
Why not?
She’s got a lot of attitude. Like her mom.
I thought you liked Doctor Montgomery.
That was you.
I still can’t believe what happened, can you? Where did they bury her?
Why are you assuming I would know something like that?
Because you often know things you shouldn’t.
Why, thank you. But in this case I’m as ignorant as you are.
Well, anyway, be nice. Sophia’s new and everybody could use a friend around here. Not everyone makes friends as effortlessly as you.
That’s true. I guess I could shine some of my light her way.
You’re a saint.
Flashes of Sophia and Jude’s faces. Her heart swelled with joy whenever she looked at them. Friends. The word sounded strange, it fit oddly in her mouth like an oversized bite of fruit.
Sophia was sitting next to the window and the sun kissed the rounded curve of her smooth brown cheek. Her dark hair lit up with dancing golden spots, it was hypnotic, and Val wondered what it would be like to touch one of those soft curls, just for a second.
No, Valerie, stop, we can’t do that.
I’m surprised to see you here at this hour, she said, walking across the Meadow lobby towards Jude.
Yeah, I thought I’d just chill and see what you were up to.
Here? This isn’t even our lobby. And besides, I just saw you in the--- She broke off and grinned. Oh. Okay.
What?
You were hoping to run into Sophia.
She said it playfully, but the thought bugged her. Jude rolled his eyes.
You’re both always here. I just figured you would eventually---
So are you guys thinking of a buffet at the wedding or is it gonna be a sit-down kind of thing? Can I request some sort of meat dish? Pasta gives me gas.
Everything gives you gas, Val. You have the most explosive colon of anyone I’ve ever met. And we both know that if either of us has a thing for her, it’s you.
She laughed, though a cold wave of shock rippled through her. Maybe she didn’t hide it as well as she thought. What if Sophia knew? Would it make her uncomfortable? Would she not want to be friends anymore? Val felt like she was choking.
Sunlight slits through her lids. Her eyes felt so heavy. She couldn’t open them. So tired. She felt like she was sinking into oblivion, vanishing into her pillows...down, down…
It’s okay, it’s normal to have bad reactions to a new treatment plan. Just relax.
She felt like she was being torn apart and sewed back up, over and over again. Then the pieces grew jagged over time, they didn’t fit together anymore, and she was disintegrating.
Why is he ordering more doses than usual?
…major liability…
She doesn’t remember anything anyway, it’s what makes her the perfect candidate. I’m giving her another round.
The ghosts had no trouble with her these days. She could barely attach to any of them, and they floated right through her. No more grapples for survival. She felt like she was shriveling inward.
She turned her head and stared at the face lying on the table across from her. Her stomach collapsed in on itself as she was flooded with a paralyzing wave of terror. She knew it was just the drugs, she was hallucinating. But the terror that gripped her was so real the only thing she wanted to do was run; she screamed and kicked against her bonds. Unseen hands held her down, pinning her against the bed. Then the swollen face the color of mold came closer, framed by feathers of dark hair, the wheels of its gurney scraping along the tiled floor. That face looked familiar, Jesus Christ, why did it look familiar?
She sank further into the mattress, through it, beyond it, drifting on an endless sea of darkness and pain. It will get better soon, the voices kept saying. You’ll adjust soon.
When did she start to realize that was a lie?
When are you getting out of here? Jude asked. The sunlight falling through the window behind him illuminated his hair. She stared at him, committing the way he looked right now to memory because she knew that this moment, at least, was real.
I’m not. Ask Sophia to visit before I kick it, will you?
Stop that. Are they still giving you that new medicine?
Yup.
Well tell them to fucking stop. Look at you.
Wouldn’t the be nice, she said, laughing. If they just stopped whenever we asked.
More darkness and pain. Her body didn’t even feel like hers anymore.
Will she know when she finally dies? She had been seeing ghosts for so long, would she even be able to tell when she became one? The only thing she was sure of was that death was not the end. All the spirits that marched in and out of her life, they were going somewhere. Maybe to oblivion. Maybe to an afterlife. But to somewhere.
Now she would follow. To Somewhere.
Sophia’s hand is a little damp, but warm as sunshine; Jude’s feels dry and cold and bony. She’s so happy she wants to laugh.
There are spirits standing around her bed, staring down at her. Some are scowling. Others are smiling. But they all look like they are waiting for her. Huh. What a fun twist. Then she notices that the one standing directly in front of her is the blonde girl with the chest wound, the one who showed up in her room all those months ago. She tries to tell Sophia that her sister is here, but she doesn’t know if she actually says the words out loud or if she merely thinks them. I know you’re sorry, she tells the blond girl, and it’s okay, everything will be okay, let’s go together now.
Darkness is descending and then the world around her shimmers, like she’s drowning in a pot of black coffee. Everything feels thick and warm. But not scary. How strange, that she does not find it scary, that the blackness of oblivion seems like the welcoming bosom of an old friend.
Sophia opened her eyes. Her face was damp with tears, and the sheets beneath her elbows were wrinkled and soggy. Jude had slid down onto the floor and was leaning forward on the bed, his face hidden in his arms. Sophia remained where she was for a long time, pressing Val’s cold hand against her cheek.
The shadows lengthened across the floor. Marina never came to check on them, and when Sophia raised her head and stared once more into her friend’s face, Val’s memories came pouring back to her. And as Sophia re-processed them, she felt the grief inside of her sharpen into a blade of anger.
“You were right about her treatments,” she said to Jude. Her voice sounded loud in the quiet infirmary.
He slowly raised his head to look at her. His eyes were red and swollen.
“What?”
“Now I get why Marina wouldn’t let us in. They knew Val was dying and they didn’t want me seeing her memories.”
“Who’s they? What were they doing to her?” His expression of grief and exhaustion was hardening into the same one that had preceded his fight with Liam.
“I don’t know. It wasn’t clear, but…”
Her voice trailed away, and she was gripped with an overwhelming sense of helplessness. Even if they could somehow prove that the treatments killed Val, who would they tell? She had seen the results of those 911 calls in the memories of the Basement kids. The police were either unable or unwilling to press charges against the Institute. Plus, there was the added problem of getting the evidence to them in the first place. She wasn’t sure how they were keeping people inside here since her mother died, but even if she did manage to break out, she had no idea where she was, or which direction would lead her outside of the Institute’s clutches. And Reynolds was her legal guardian.
When she looked up at Jude, she saw the anger and hopelessness she felt mirrored on his face.