The door swung open and Szeth squinted against the suddenly harsh light streaming out into the night. He held a hand protectively over his eyes as a shadow loomed above him.

“Hello, dearie.”

Blinking the stars from his vision Szeth looked at the figure before him. It was a little old lady, the years weighing heavily on her stooped frame, the thick, pale pink shawl about her shoulders looking heavy enough to drag her down, never to rise again. She squinted at him through the comedically thick lensed glasses perched on the end of her nose, her broad smile almost lost in the folds and creases of her heavily wrinkled face. For all that, though, her pale grey eyes twinkled with something that could have been mirth or cunning. Szeth wasn’t well versed enough with humans to tell which.

“Oh, dearie me but you are soaking wet! Come in, come in,” she said, shuffling around behind him and ushering him through the door with a gentle shove. “I don’t know what possessed you to come visiting at such a late hour, and in such horrid weather too! Come, come! Let’s get a nice warm cuppa in that head of yours and we can find your grannie or grandpa.”

“Thanks, I-” Szeth started to reply but she kept babbling, cutting him off.

“We don’t get visitors here often, so don’t be surprised if everyone tries to steal you away for a little chitty chat. Just be firm but polite and they’ll leave you alone.”

She kept ushering him down the hallway as he tried to talk but he couldn’t get a word in edgeways before she screeched towards a small room just off the hallway.

“Sheryl! Those blokes outside gone yet?”

“Nae, they’re still blabbing on about coming in ta search the place.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake. Alright, open the gate, I’ll sort them out.”

“Actually I’d rather you-”

“Hush now, dearie,” the strange old lady said, giving Szeth a wink before turning back to the door. “Best let me do the talking.”

At a loss as to what to do, and figuring that bolting down the hall would look suspicious, he huddled behind the woman. She was tiny, but one of the perks of being a goblin was, so was he. He peaked out around the ruffles of her shawl as a Paladin strode into view. He stopped on the top step outside the doorway, rain dripping off his black suit, his sword sheathed at his waist. For now.

“Good evening, ma’am,” he said, his gaze darting around the hallway, stopping for barely a fraction of a second on the old lady and the ‘young man’ hiding behind her. “We’re searching for a… dangerous fugitive. Have you seen anyone suspicious?”

“Oh, no, not at all young man. Just us old folks here.”

“And the person behind you?”

“Here to visit a relative.”

“If you don’t mind I would like to speak to him.”

“Well, actually, I do mind.”

“Ma’am, I really think-”

“You got a granny?”

“Sorry?”

“Do you have a grandmother? Come on, boy, keep up.”

“I don’t see how this is relevant.”

“Oh, it’s relevant. Answer the question, sunshine.”

“Yes, I have a grandmother.”

“And when is the last time you visited her, hmm?”

“I’m… not sure.”

“Not sure, he says?” the old lady shrieked with a mirthless laugh. “No, of course not. You don’t look like the type. Bet you can’t wait for her to kick the bucket so you can get your grubby mitts on the inheritance.”

“Ma’am, I don’t-”

“Not like this charming young gentleman here! He’s come out to see his granny, and in such poor weather too. You see, this young man understands the value of the older generation. Understands we’ve earned a bit of consideration from the young ‘uns every now and again.”

“I just need to-”

“You just need to sort out your priorities young man. Traipsing around looking for ‘dangerous fugitives’ instead of spending time with your family. Why, for all I know you could be a dangerous fugitive. You look like a ruffian.”

“I’m not a ruffian,” the Paladin replied hotly. “I’m a holy warrior of The Order.”

“Oh, bloody hell. Not one of those religious salesman. I can tell you now, if anyone in here was going to buy that snake oil we would have done so a long time ago.”

“I’m not selling faith, I’m hunting a monster. The Order has been charged by the governments of the earth with stamping out any traces of unholy taint.”

“That’s even worse! A religious government suit? Christ almighty.”

Another voice, heavily accented Irish just like Sheryll except male, called out from further down the hallway.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Gladys! ‘Oos that at the door, then?”

“Someone from the government,” the woman called Gladys called back.

“The government? Feckin’ fascists!” the man yelled back, and then a few seconds later appeared, shuffling into the hallway and rattling his zimmer frame at them. “Tell them to feck off!”

“Settle down, McReady, you’ll give yourself another heart attack.”

“I’ll give them a heart attack, I will! Bloody British wankers!”

“Jonathan McReady, you go back into the tv room and sit your behind down else I’ll spank it black and blue,” the woman called Sheryll said as she came out into the hallway, planting her hand on her hips. The curlers in her hair turned what would have been an impressive mop, for an old lady, into a eerily intimidating lion mane.

“Oy, oy! Don’t talk dirty to me like that unless you’ll make good on it, Sheryll.”

“Git your randy arse back inside, you dirty old pillock.”

“Alright then, love. But I’m serious. That damn government ponce isn’t coming in ‘ere.”

“Gladys is dealing with it,”

“Aye, see that she does,” McReady said, turning around and shuffling back out of sight. Sheryll sighed and shook her head.

“What am I going to do with that man?” she asked Gladys.

“I dunno, but you’d best go see to him.”

“Aye, you alright here?”

“Of course, love. We’ll be right along.”

With that said, Sheryll set off down the hallway, leaving Szeth, Gladys and the increasingly uncomfortable looking Paladin behind. When she had shuffled out of sight, into the room McReady had disappeared into, Gladys turned back to the Paladin, folding her hands in front of her and letting out the kind of disappointed huff that only a matron with decades of life experience could have perfected.

“Young man, I’m sorry but you are not coming in here. Many of our residents have fragile constitutions and as you can see, your presence here is aggravating.”

“Ma’am,” the Paladin said, his voice taking on a sickly sweet timbre, “I don’t think you understand. I’m here for the good of the people, to protect you and everyone here from abominations so horrid and unholy you couldn’t even conceive of them.”

Gladys narrowed her eyes at the young man, her gaze turning steely. There was a shift in her body language, less a physical movement than an… aura, of silent rage.

“Alright, listen here you little shit,” she snapped, the sudden change in tone stunning Szeth and the Paladin both. “We’re all veterans of the Hell War here. And when I say Hell War, I mean all of it. We were there when those SoS bastards ripped down the wall and let the demons through. We fought with shitty little rifles spitting 5.56 NATO standard, itty bitty little bayonets and bloody minded obstinacy well before the egg heads started churning out power armour and .50 cal ‘small arms’ as standard, so don’t you dare talk down to me about ‘horrors I couldn’t comprehend’. I was stacking demon corpses with pea shooters and belligerence when you were still barely a twinkle in your daddy’s ballsack, so fuck off back where you came from and leave us in peace.”

The Paladin’s face turned bright red as his mouth contorted in rage and indignation, but before he could say something he would regret, a newcomer loomed out of the darkness, clamping a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s the problem here?” the Nephilim asked. The mask was gone, and the creature once again appeared as a young woman.

“This woman is refusing me access to search the premises,” the Paladin snapped, his expression of rage morphing into one of disgust as he glanced at the Neph’s hand on his shoulder. He pulled forcefully away and stood so both the creature and Gladys were in front of him.

“Last I checked, you aren’t a cop. If she doesn’t want you in, you don’t go in.”

“I am beholden to the Lord Almighty, not the laws of man.”

“Sure, explain that to your boss when he asks you why you hard knocked a retirement home. I’m sure he’ll be understanding.”

“But the creature could be inside!”

“Or, he could be out in the forest escaping while you fuck around threatening retirees. Some soldier of God you are.”

“Don’t you dare utter his name you profane wretch,” the Paladin snapped, his expression darkening as his fists clenched at his side. The Nephilim cocked her head to the side, regarding him thoughtfully. Then she was inches from him, her hand buried in his stomach. The Paladin reflexively projectile vomited and sagged against the monster, and she let him tumble to the ground, catching him at the last second by snagging a fistful of his hair. She turned to Gladys, offered a curt nod and apology, then turned to walk away. She glanced at Szeth and stopped, her brows furrowing slightly. The goblin’s heart, which had been hanging around in its previous location in his lower intestines suddenly shot back up, bypassing its usual spot in his chest and lodging in his throat.

“What do we have here?” she asked.

Gladys stepped across to position herself between Szeth and the monster, staring down the demonic chimera that had routed hordes of gibbering monstrosities during the war, armed with nothing but a thick shawl and a withering expression.

“A lovely young man come to visit his grandparent.”

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

The Nephilim stared at Gladys, adjusted her grip on the Paladin’s hair, and shrugged.

“Alright. I hope he doesn’t cause any trouble for you folks.”

“We will manage, dearie. Don’t let the gate hit you on the arse on the way out. Oh, and eat something for Pete’s sake. You look malnourished.”

The Nephilim rolled her eyes and strode back out into the darkness, the Paladin leaving a weak trail of bile and whimpers as he was dragged unceremoniously back into the darkness.

When they were gone, and the heavy wooden doors leading into the compound had groaned closed behind them, Gladys turned to Szeth, a warm and sincere smile on her face, the cold, hard crone of a second ago tucked neatly back into her box for the next time she needed to be deployed.

“Now, what’s your name, dearie?”

“Szeth,” the goblin replied without thinking, his eyes going wide as he realised his gaffe. A confused look crossed Gladys’ face as she squinted at him.

“Sorry, my hearing isn’t what it used to be. Did you say Seth?”

The goblin resisted the urge to let out a sigh of relief. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, none of that business here, dearie. I was a sergeant, worked for a living.” She chuckled delicately at her joke and stepped past Szeth, closing the front door and shuffling down the hallway. Without any other idea what to do he fell into step beside her.

“Now, who was it you came here to vis-” She let out an abrupt squark as she toppled forward, tripping over something hidden beneath he billowy nightgown. Szeth reflexively reached out and caught her, carefully helping her regain her balance. He didn’t let go until she gave him a small smile and patted his arm.

“Thank you, dearie. I’m alright, just keep forgetting I’m not as spry as I used to be. Anyway, I’m guessing you were here to see Katherine. She was the only one of us who ever had kids, after all.”

“R-right,” Szeth said, unsure what he was going to do when he actually met this woman.

Gladys’ face creased in a mask of sorrow. “I’m so sorry to tell you, dearie, but she passed away a few months ago.”

Szeth didn’t know why, but he felt a sharp stab of sadness in his chest at the news. All he could manage was a weak ‘oh’. Gladys gave him a knowing smile and patted his cheek.

“I know, dearie. But you must have known this was coming. She had been ill a very long time. In a sense, you should be relieved, her suffering is at an end now. Her long war is finally over.”

“I… guess you have a point.”

“Of course I do. I’m old, and therefore wise. It’s how these things work.”

Szeth didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t help his eyes sliding across to the doorway McReady had shuffled through a moment ago. Gladys followed his gaze and sighed.

“There are exceptions to the rule. Speaking of, come on, I’ll introduce you to the residents of this madhouse.”