“Enjoy yourself, loverboy?” Nico teased, sliding up to him. Mark looked around, making the man laugh. “She isn’t here. Out of towner, needed some cash.”

An ugly feeling filled his gut, throwing Nico a glare. “I can pay for my own hookers, if that was what that was.”

Nico held up his hand, shaking his head. “Don’t mess with that stuff. Don’t need to, anyway. Just a new friend, looking to complete her list. Pointed her in your direction, that’s all I did. You know my club isn’t shy for cash, so sometimes people come there looking for donations.”

“This sounds very much like paying for sex.”

Nico shook his head again. “Nah man, she had the choice to go for you or not. I didn’t pay her for that, and as far as you're concerned not for anything else either.”

The warning was clear, Mark backing off. “Fine. Kindly don’t involve me with those sorts of friends again.”

“Though you’d be into it.” The man narrowed his eyes, looking him over. “I’m rarely wrong. Whatever, message received.”

----------------------------------------

Waking up with someone laying over his chest was new. Mark looked out the arrow slit, seeing dawn had just broken, and looked down again. ‘Actually, might be the first time. Tis nice.’

Laying there seemed the best choice, basking in the feeling of a warm body on his own, but it didn't last long. Lust yawned, looking around blearily until she realised she wasn’t alone. “Morning.”

A smile took over her face, scooting over to give him a kiss. Mark smiled into it, and if that was because his arm was finally free no one would know. “I take it you had fun.”

She murmured her agreement, patting his chest. “Had fun. I see why you’re so fond of eating raw meat and fingers, now.”

Mark blinked. “Thanks. You know just how to make a guy feel special.”

“You know what I mean.” She waved. “You were fine.”

He combed his fingers through her hair, being perhaps a tad rougher than he needed to be. “Oh no, my fragile masculinity. However will I survive.”

A smirk was his answer, his shoulder being bitten as revenge. Mark sobered as the pain woke him up fully, looking out the arrow slit again. “What are we?”

Lust froze, looking at him with disbelieving eyes. “Jesus, you really haven’t got much experience with this, do you? Also, that’s my line.”

“Yea yea.” He looked at her, his face serious. “I don’t. So I’m just going to be honest, and we’ll see how that goes? I’m not in the right place for a relationship, I don’t really know what it’s like to have one, and experimenting, as fun as it sounds, seems counterproductive to our survival. Also, this might need to stop right here without condoms. There, honesty. Your turn.”

“You take the fun out of this.” She stuck her tongue out, Mark leaning forwards to kiss her. “And that’s sending mixed messages. Honest? I’m not looking for romantic walks and candlelit dinners. Sex, though, is something I’m going to need. If that can be done with someone I mostly trust all the better. And no, handy dandy class thing. Can’t get pregnant unless I want to, and trust me I don’t want to. Not how, not ever.”

She bit his shoulder again, much harder this time. Mark twisted his head, the pressure slowly increasing until even pain resistance was starting to have trouble. “You’ve got a strong jaw, good for you. Failing to see the point.”

Lust pouted. “Not even a flinch?”

“I spent three weeks getting gored by boars, eating their flesh to heal shattered knees and ruined thighs. I regrew a hand, biting just doesn't seem that scary in comparison.”

A few drops of blood dripped down his chest as she let go, her eyes wide. “Fuck. Alright. Well, I got a buff. Not like you, not really, but it makes me stronger. Look.”

She gripped the bed frame, squeezing until wood groaned. When she let go her handprint was left behind, a sweet smile on her lips. “I’m strong now. More agile, what have you, but it fades the longer I don’t have sex. No normal relationship stuff is fine, so how about friends with benefits?”

“That always works out perfectly, you’re right.” Mark looked from the handprint to her face, throwing her a half smile to show he was joking. “But that sounds good. Uhm, not to sound like an asshole, but-”

A finger was put on his lips, Lust frowning at him. “Hold up, one more second, alright, go ahead.”

“Are you planning to have sex with the others?” He finished, confusion on his face. “Like I said, not trying to be an asshole.”

She sighed heavily, dropping her hand. “Don’t say that. Not the sex part, the answers no, but the asshole part. It makes you sound twice as condescending.”

“Sorry.” Mark winced. “Honestly just trying to understand the situation.”

“It’s alright. No, I’m not planning to have sex with the others. Greed wouldn't be able to resist the urge to own me, Sloth and Envy wouldn't be interested, and Wrath doesn’t care about sex at all. The less said about Pride the better.”

“So it’s a lack of options?”

Lust padded his shoulder, moving to stand. “How about this? Assume we’re exclusive, or whatever the hell the cool kids call it these days, and we’ll talk if that changes, alright?”

“Not judging or trying to be controlling.” He assured, joining her in abandoning the bed. “You’re your own person, and can make your own choices. Just want to know where we stand, is all.”

No answer came, he resisted the urge to fill the silence, and he walked into the central room a few minutes after she did. Greed was the only one there, poking at a malformed sword, and it disappeared as he sat down. “Lust left to scout. Told me to tell you.”

He nodded his thanks, fishing some food out of his pack. Dry bread made the roasted meat better, especially after toasting it, and he enjoyed breakfast if it wasn’t for Greed throwing him unsubtle glances. “Speak. I’ll probably won’t get offended, and if I don’t want to talk about it I’ll say so.”

“You and Lust spend the night together. It’s unwise.”

“It’s productive.” He countered. “Not to mention great fun. If you have a good reason to think so, please. If not, it really isn’t your business.”

Greed held up a hand, waving at the door. “A falling out between you two would cause havoc in the delicate balance we’ve achieved.”

“Oh.” Mark snorted, folding the last piece of meat between more bread. “It’s just sex. Maybe some kissing, but don’t tell anyone. Not falling in love, rest assured.”

“You’re quite frank about it.”

“If I didn't know better, Greed, I would think that sounded accusing.” Mark warned. “I learned in middle school that embarrassment is a choice, and I choose not to be. Apathy helps. It won’t cause problems, it benefits the team, end of discussion.”

The man dropped the subject, the both of them being joined by Wrath. She ate without comment, Mark not seeing any latent resentment from yesterday. ‘Day before? This place fucks with your time perception something fierce.”

Fifteen minutes later everyone was eating, Lust appearing back in the room. “The horde is gone. No sign to suggest they even tried to break down the door, so hopefully they won’t follow us through the realm.”

“They tend to stay in their sections.” Pride said, fixing his hair with a comb and mirror. “We haven’t tried to lure them over, and I wouldn't suggest trying.”

He put the mirror and comb away, looking around. “So, the plan for today. Sloth, you’ve recovered?”

She nodded, seeming even more drowsy than normal. “Good. Let me know if it becomes a problem. The floors above us are empty, or they were last time, until we get to the top. The gap between it and the castle roof is jumpable, but it will require some climbing. Nothing extreme, though if you’re afraid of heights this is going to suck.”

No one spoke. “Then to the roof. Do not get stabbed by the goblins there. Assassin’s or similar, but they carry poisoned knives. Wrath can attest to why you don’t want to do that.”

“Paralysis.” She said, her tone short. “Won’t kill, unless you roll off the roof.”

Pride nodded. “So don’t get stabbed. It’s not far to the window, don’t kill the goblin this time, Wrath, I have questions for her, but the walk is slow. Keep an eye on your footing, don’t rush. We’ll see how far we get today, but another rest before the boss might not be a bad idea. There’s a safe room in the attic, if we decide to go that way.”

Mark stood as the rest did, moving over to the metal door. ‘Stupid not to have a guard on that. Or someone on watch in general.’

“If we sleep here again we’ll need a night watch.” He said, drawing Pride’s attention. “Rather not get ambushed in my sleep.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Everyone nodded, no one seemed excited, and Greed opened the door. Wrath was through first, axe at the ready, but it proved unnecessary. The floors above them were empty, as promised. After far too many stairs they reached the top, crenellations as their guard rail. Pride hoisted himself up, looking over.

He threw himself back when a knife came his way, landing not so gracefully but managing to stay standing. “The assassin’s are closer than they used to be.”

Lust scoffed. “I think it’s safe to assume the realm changes based on the party’s size. The horde, more enemies in general, and stronger fortifications? If it was as you described, with the seven of us? We’d be done before lunch.”

Sloth had approached the edge, her crossbow in hand. She aimed and shot, slinging it over her shoulder afterwards. “They dodge. And if we jump we’ll be stuck full of knives.”

“Through plate?” Mark asked, looking at Greed. The man shook his head, but hesitated. “They shouldn't, but if you get paralysed mid jump? It’s a long way down.”

Everyone wagered a look through the murder holes, Pride excluded. Envy took a step backwards, scowling fiercely when he looked at her. “So now what?”

‘The hollow knight buff? The enchanted combat instincts might make me able to dodge in midair. No, too risky.’ Greed had taken a seat on the stone as another knife flew overhead, working on something. Mark looked it over, unable to puzzle it out.

“Want to share?”

“Bridge.” The man said, his tone strained. “Shush.”

Mark shrugged, the plan as good as any, and moved over to Pride. He kept his voice low, just in case the assassin’s had good hearing. “Greed’s making a bridge. Or a plank, something to cross, anyway. You, Wrath and me push, the rest to back us up?”

Pride nodded, waving Envy over as he crawled over to Lust. He would probably be able to dodge what knives could throw at this range, but he’d rather be safe. He sat, metal scratching against stone, as his friend twirled her knife. “We alright?”

“Sure.”

“Let’s do this thing where we’re at least partially honest with each other?”

She grinned. It fell quickly. “Just thinking some things over. The high is gone, I want it back. Twice as bad as it ever was, before we came to this world.”

“Might explain Pride’s behaviour, at least a little. If he gets high from being better than everyone?”

Lust sighed, her knife stilling. “Why do you defend him? Why try to make us get along, when our classes almost guarantee a break at some point? Wrath is too battle hungry, Pride too stuck up. Envy to jealous, Greed to greedy. It’ll stop working the second we aren’t the only people around.”

Mark thought that over, watching Greed’s creation slowly take shape. “I read this book once. Maybe it was a video, honestly don’t remember. It was about tribalism in football, how wearing the wrong colour shirt with the wrong people might get you beaten to a pulp. Society falls when pressure builds, real or imagined. How did that saying go, civilization is nine missed meals away from collapse?”

“The party might split, we might even kill each other.” He continued, looking at her. She was paying attention, her finger tapping steel. “But it won’t be me. I won’t start it. I won’t be reduced to an animal so easily, with a little euphoria and people that are easy to hate. I won’t tell you to like him, or be his friend. Just, if you’re going to hate him, base it on something real?”

She didn’t reply immediately, but her hand tapped his knee. “You’re smarter than you look, Glut, though that isn’t so hard.”

“Gee thanks.” He said dryly. Greed being about done proved a good distraction, Lust nodding. “We’re good. Have been since breakfast, honestly, but I wanted to see if you'd pussyfoot around it.”

He didn’t dignify that with a response, moving over when Pride beckoned. The man was helping to lift the contraption Greed had put together, finally getting it off the ground when he and Wrath joined. Then came the effort of actually deploying it, having to balance one end on several crenelations and the other on the roof.

Wrath huffed as she narrowly dodged a knife, pulling herself up and onto the walkway. Mark waited next to Pride, the bridge large enough for one only, but Wrath came back tumbling down before either could join her. No less than six knives were embedded in her chest, none of which had found flesh. “They grouped together.”

Mark sighed, taking out his pouch. He’d rather have saved them, but this was looking like a roadblock. “New plan. Greed, you’re probably the strongest outside of an active fight. I eat these two fingers, you throw me over. Firebreath can distract until you two join me.”

Greed picked him up with a nod. The man’s voice was quiet as he spoke, and it just occurred to him it was deeper than it used to be. “You sure about this?”

When he said he was Greed didn’t waste time, standing. What happened next was something of a surprise, Mark having accepted the likelihood of being thrown over like a sack of potatoes. Instead he balanced on Greed’s hands with relative ease, jumping when the man pushed. One with stone dampened the abject fear of the short flight, having managed to resist the urge to look down, and he breathed fire as he landed.

It was devastating, scattering the assassin’s and destroying the formation they’d created. Fire lapped at his feet as he landed with bent knees, twisting to lash out with a kick. The assassin went flying off the roof, too slow in getting away, and he grappled with another one. ‘Agile, but not strong.’

Wrath crashed into the right flank as he pushed the gagging goblin off the roof, his cestus having dented its throat. Pride wasn’t far behind, his armour glistering in the morning light. A knife scraped over his back, finding little purchase, and he twisted. The tip of Lust’s knife appeared through its skull, having gone clean through.

“I fucking love being this strong.” She said gleefully, appearing as she kicked the dead goblin aside. “We’re fucking again before the bossfight.”

She dashed away, Mark's mutterings heard only by the wind. “Glad to be of service, I guess.”

The group of assassin’s lay dead on the floor when Sloth and Greed joined them, Envy having followed Lust in scouting the immediate area. The man shot him a look, dissolving the bridge. “Kindly inform me of the plan beforehand.”

“Wasn’t the plan.” Mark replied, catching the flash of irritation on his face. “Yours would have worked, and have been vastly more safe, if they hadn't been waiting. It was not my intention to make you waste resources.”

A nod was his answer, Sloth patting the man on his arm. “Cheer up, we’d have to have jumped otherwise.”

“Keep your eye on the dark corners.” Pride interrupted, waving his hand to the east. The castle roof spread before them, steep but walkable. “The window is that way.”

They walked, Sloth taking the lead. Her feet never seemed to slip or stray, finding them a way across with ease. Only two assassin’s tried their luck, Mark taking a pair of fingers in passing.

Goblin Assassin consumed. Sight has been improved with Minor Vision Boost.

Minor Vision Boost will be active for twelve and a half minutes.

Mark put the other one in his pouch, taking in the surroundings. With better eyes he could see the mountains stretch beyond the castle, no sign of civilization anywhere. ‘Hope this isn’t where we are in the real world. Now what do you adapt, assassin?’

It was Lust that noticed it, having joined him after the last ambush. No one had been paralysed, to their fortune, though Sloth had come close. “Catch.”

His hand moved before he could process the word, catching the dagger. She shook her head. “Enhanced reflexes. Naturally.”

Some testing proved her right, Mark putting the leftover finger in his pouch. “Cure.”

Cured meats:

Goblin Soldier: 1

Hollow Knight: 2

Goblin Assassin: 1

“Shame about the pyromancer. Hopefully we find another one before the boss.” Lust wasn’t paying attention, scowling at something to their right. Envy was changing her face, to the amusement of Wrath and Greed, and basking in the attention. “Or, you know, become jealous.”

A hiss was his answer, Lust turning away from him. “Why would I be jealous of that trainwreck?”

“Good question.” He said. “One you can hopefully answer before you stab her to death.”

“Wouldn't be a great loss.” She muttered. Louder, she said. “I see the window. Come on.”

Wrath stormed inside as they arrived, Mark sharing a look of exasperation with Pride of all people, and they followed. “Who are you! Tell me what you know!”

What he could only describe as a teenage goblin, dressed in fine clothing and adorned with jewellery, was frozen in her chair. Wrath raised her axe threateningly. “Tell me what you know!”

Pride put a hand on her shoulder, his voice gentle. “Perhaps a slightly less direct approach?”

She huffed but moved aside, rolling her eyes when Pride knelt by the princess’s side. As they talked Wrath moved closer, Mark raising an eyebrow at her approach. “That was brave, jumping the gap. You are a good warrior.”

He thought about making a joke, thinking better of it. “Thank you.”

She nodded, and that was that. Pride stood, turning away from the girl. “She doesn’t know much. Confined to her room, the royal guard sounding more like wardens than protectors. An old king, a trapped princess and no queen.”

A body hitting the floor made them turn, Envy standing over it. She looked at them, at Pride, with an innocent smile. “You were done with her, right?”

The man nodded slowly, Mark looking at the body. It was Greed that spoke, shooting her an angry look. “Don’t assume. I wanted to bargain with her, seeing as she’s the first non-hostile entity we’ve met.”

Sloth was at the door, cutting off Envy’s reply. “If we’re done arguing over the aristocrat, her guards are gone. As in, if she’s so trapped, why aren’t there people at her door?”

Mark took a look, finding she was right. No guards, no evidence of recent movement or people standing watch for hours. “Weird. I propose we scout the castle, take lunch in the attic, and try the boss. If anyone sees a pyromancer, I’d appreciate one of its fingers.”

Greed snorted, Sloth rolled her eyes, and they moved on. The castle, they found, was filled with more soldiers and pyromancers. Better armed, faster casting, but lesser in number. Wrath and Pride alone could have killed most without worry, and with Lust and Envy to keep an eye out for ambushes Sloth didn’t have much healing to do.

Until the end, clearing the last floor before the throne room itself, when Greed went down like a stone. Sloth shot the assassin with her crossbow before it could disappear, making it stumble. Lust’s knife finished it off, thrown clear across the room, and she walked over to retrieve it. “Time for lunch, then. Wrath, how long did the paralysis last?”

“A couple of hours. Long enough for them to drag you to a cell, I’d imagine.”

Mark shrugged. “A long lunch. Any danger besides the paralysis?”

“No. Doesn’t feel great.”

“Figures. Pride, help me carry him?”

It was not a dignified journey to the attic, as Lust was very helpful in pointing out, but they got there with minimal trouble. The trio of soldiers they’d missed froze when they saw them coming up the stairs, sharing a confused look and failing to see Envy crawling along the ceiling. They didn’t get a chance to rectify their mistake.

“Over there.” Sloth pointed, Pride adjusting the grip on Greed’s shoulders. “And put his bedroll under him or something.

The whole mess of bags dropped beside Pride, Sloth digging through them and putting out the enormous sleeping bag. When Greed was relatively comfortable they made lunch, cold cuts and old bread being their staple. Mark declined. “I’ve had a few fingers for lunch, I’m good.”

Sloth waved her bread at him. “Don’t be disgusting. And have Greed make you toothpaste or something. All that blood can’t be good for your teeth. Also, catch.”

“Hypocrite.” He said, catching the finger and curing it. “And it’s not my fault fingers are the easiest to remove. By the lack of calluses I assume it’s from a pyromancer?”

She nodded as Lust tapped his shoulder, her lips close to his ear. “I found a private spot.”

“I honestly thought you were joking.” He replied just as quietly, standing. “Enjoy lunch, everyone.”

“At least come up with an excuse.” Sloth cringed. “Honestly, it’s like none of you went to college.”