“Don't go thinking I've forgotten.”

I muttered, catching Sid's eye, who stopped walking and turned to me. He looked at me with a curious expression, while I kept a smile on my face.

“Now it's your turn.”

I continued, still with the same smile, while making a simple gesture with my hand towards the chair where he had been sitting a few minutes earlier, as if to say: “I've done my bit, now it's up to you.” My smile widened a little, trying to lighten the situation.

Sid, having understood what I meant, let out a short sigh, shrugged and walked back towards the chair. As soon as he sat down, he leaned back in a relaxed manner. His eyes, now tired, were fixed on the ceiling of the library, lost in thought.

“If I had something very important to say to you today, it would be this: you will regret it very much in the future if you don't go to confession...”

Sid said those words with a neutral tone, but he managed to capture my full attention. However, without warning, he paused what he was saying. I was a little confused by the sudden silence, but decided not to press him. I just sat still, waiting patiently to see where the conversation would lead.

Sid finally broke the silence, but his words carried an unexpected weight.

“I'll only tell you one thing: don't make the same mistake I did. I grew up with two girls, my best friends... and I ended up making one of my worst mistakes...”

Sid paused, taking a deep breath before adding.

“...I ended up falling in love with both of them.”

I was so shocked by what Sid had told me that I couldn't say anything. If it hadn't been for him noticing my countenance and making a comment to break the silence, I would probably have remained paralyzed, still trying to process the impact of his words.

“You're probably wondering if I fell in love with both of them at the same time, aren't you? The answer to that question is kind of obvious: yes, I made that mistake.”

Before I could nod to confirm Sid's question, he was quicker to answer his own.

“It happened four years ago, when I was only 13. At the time, my feelings for them were already complicated, but it got even worse when they both fell in love with other people. As if that wasn't enough, a series of events ended up pushing us apart, and I gradually disappeared from their lives.”

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I noticed Sid pause again, but this time it was followed by a long sigh. It felt like it was bringing back painful memories, as if every word was making him relive something he'd rather forget.

“That's why I'm telling you to go to confession now.”

Sid continued, his voice laden with something between frustration and melancholy.

“Look at my example. There's no point in me confessing to them now. To them, it would be as if we had never met.”

I felt really bad about what Sid had just told me.

(How can someone suffer so much and still be able to stand up?)

I found myself reflecting, lost in thought. Compared to what Sid had been through, my problem seemed much smaller than I had imagined.

I tried to call Sid's name, but before I could do so, he let out another sigh and continued.

“If I hadn't been weak and told them how I felt about them back then...”

I noticed Sid let out another sigh. That was really hard for him. If I'd known it would be like this, I wouldn't have forced him to tell me. And once again, he continued.

“There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret being weak.”

After Sid said those words, I noticed him let out another sigh and get up from his chair. By reflex, I ended up imitating his gesture.

“I'm sorry for making you remember something so painful... but, to apologize again, did you do something to make them hate you? After all, you told me that when they saw you, they would pretend they didn't know you. Why?”

I asked curiously, but hiding the fact a little.

“It's not that they'd pretend not to know me, it's that they simply wouldn't remember me... But I'm sorry, I really can't talk about this subject that easily.”

I understood that Sid's answer was as if he wanted to tell me: “I can only tell you so far”, but it didn't really work, it just made me even more curious about what had actually happened in his past. However, I decided to let it go. Meddling in someone's personal life without them wanting to wasn't really in my nature.

After the silence that hung between Sid and me, I decided I needed to say something, anything to break the tense atmosphere. However, he was quicker than me and spoke first.

“I hope you got my message.”

Sid commented, still looking at me with that neutral countenance, which made it difficult to identify any emotion. I hardly knew if he was serious or calm, but I politely just smiled at him and softly replied:

“Yes, I did. Thank you very much for taking the time to listen to my silly problems.”

“Not at all.”

Sid commented, with a slight smile on his face, before continuing.

“If you ever need a friend for advice, you know where to find me. And don't cry anymore, I don't like to see girls crying, especially when they're so pretty.”

After this comment, which left me feeling a little awkward, Sid turned to me and, without saying another word, started walking out of the room. However, before he passed through the door, he turned again, staring at me for a moment, as if he had something else to say.

“I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this conversation.”

Sid's comment seemed somewhat indifferent, as if whether I told anyone or not wouldn't change anything. So, I decided to play along and go with the flow.