Colby watched as Taylor hung up the phone. He hadn’t let go of her hand the entire call.

“So? What did he say?”

“He was angry.” She smiled. “But I’m officially unemployed now.”

“Great! And don’t worry, after our trip, I’ll get you the best job ever, in the whole world!”

Taylor smiled. “Okay. Now let’s get to planning. So, where do we even want to go?”

Colby looked puzzled; it seemed he didn’t care. “Where do you want to go?”

“No idea. You came up with that whole thing, not me.”

“You must have some wish.”

“So do you,” Taylor countered.

At that moment, Charlie came out of his room, groggily heading for the kitchen. The sacred coffee machine. “Morning,” he grumbled. He really wasn’t a morning person, or rather, a morning ghost.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Colby teased with a grin and then explained to his girlfriend that Charlie was finally awake. At least halfway.

“Morning, Charlie,” Taylor said warmly.

“Mhm,” he mumbled back as the coffee brewed.

“So, do you know by now where you want to go?” the frat boy asked hopefully.

“Do you?”

Colby grinned and scrunched his nose a bit. “My dear Living Girl, you can be a real pain in the ass, you do know that?”

“Then I match you well.”

Charlie furrowed his brow, took a generous sip, and then snapped his fingers in Colby’s direction to get his attention. “Hey, bro.” He pointed to his room. “Come with me. Now. Not a word to Taylor.”

Skeptical, Colby stood up. “Sorry, I’ll be right back. Our roommate has dick problems?” Charlie rolled his eyes and opened his door, annoyed since he couldn’t just float through with the coffee in hand. “I’m supposed to check it out? See if everything’s okay. No homo and all that.”

Taylor blinked twice. “Next time. Yes, next time, just say he needs you for a moment. Too much information.”

Colby grinned and teleported into Charlie’s room, where he was met with a death glare.

“Dick problems. That’s the best you could come up with? Is that all you can think about?” He took another sip.

“Whatever, what’s up?” Colby whispered.

“Hawaii.”

“What.”

“Taylor wants to go to Hawaii. She always has. Ever since she saw Lilo & Stitch.” Charlie waved his hands dramatically, his eyes sparkling playfully. “Brain bridge.”

“Then why doesn’t she just say she wants to go to Hawaii?”

“Her family is wild, okay. She was taught to pinch every penny. Sure, her uncle is rich, but that doesn’t matter when you have stingy parents. She probably just thinks it’s too expensive.”

“Pff. Then I’ll just steal the money,” he shrugged.

“That’s my bad boy, exactly how I like him.” Charlie grinned. “But you’ve got to be careful. Taylor would never approve if you stole it from just anyone.”

“What should I do then?”

“Make sure you steal it from people who don’t deserve it. Rich people. Assholes. And be honest about where the money came from. Then you might have a chance with your girl.” He patted his best friend on the shoulder. “And now get out, damn it. I want to go back to sleep.”

“You’ve got a coffee in your hand.”

“So? I love you, bro. Really. But goodbye now.” And with that, he shoved Colby toward the door.

“Thanks, bro. I owe you one.”

“Yeah, you do. And make sure she has fun. Oh, and definitely watch Lilo & Stitch. That’s totally your thing, and thanks to Taylor, I know every movie and every damn episode by heart. Good luck with the planning, or whatever. Night.”

Just as he was about to reply, Colby found himself outside the door, being stared at disgustedly by Taylor. That bastard had really shoved him out through the door.

"You done with your guy problems?"

"Yeah, false alarm," the Ghost Boy grinned. He sat back down with Taylor and happily slapped his hands on the table. "How about Hawaii?"

"Way, way, way too expensive," she shot back immediately.

"Not for long. Give me a minute. I'll be right back, promise." He winked again.

"What? Colby—" And he was gone. It took more than a minute, but he really wasn’t gone long. His grin was much cockier now, and he was waving several $100 bills in his hand. "Where did those come from?!"

"Let’s just say a certain former film producer with a foot fetish has a bit less in his account now. Rhymes with Dan Rider." He had only found out last week what this guy had been up to. And he actually liked the series Taylor showed him occasionally.

"Don’t tell me you stole a few hundred-dollar bills from that guy."

Colby put his feet up on the table, rolled the bills like a cigarette, and lit them with his finger. His fire skills still needed work, but at least he could use his middle finger as a lighter. "A few?" he laughed grandly and took a leisurely drag of his money cigarette. "Sweetie, check the bedroom."

Taylor's eyes widened, and she jumped out of her chair. She practically threw herself toward the room. As soon as she flung open the door, she got the shock of her life.

The entire bed was covered in $100 bills. And not just a few. They were piled higher than the pillows.

Cautiously, Taylor stepped toward the massive pile of money and then stared incredulously at her ghost boyfriend, who was now leaning against the door frame. "H-how much is this?"

"About half of what he had in his personal safe. In the basement, left of the sex dungeon. Kinky." He grinned from ear to ear, and there was a clear note of pride in his theft. "Maybe he’ll notice and won’t be able to pay his taxes, maybe he’ll finally end up in jail. Then he can still live out his fantasies, just not in the position he’d prefer," the ghost explained casually, still with his iconic Colby grin. "Kinky," he repeated, making a popping noise with his mouth. "Think that's enough for Hawaii?"

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

"Are you kidding? Of course it is! But—"

Colby teleported directly in front of Taylor and put his finger on her lips before she could continue. "No, no buts. If you really feel bad about this guy, I’ll teleport right back to him and set his balls on fire." He raised his other hand, and his middle finger lit up again. "Then he’ll have bigger problems than the money."

"Alright, alright. So we keep it?"

"Fuck yeah, we keep it," he said decisively, gently lifting his girlfriend. "And now, back to the table. We’ve got a vacation to plan."

When Charlie woke up again two hours later, Taylor and Colby were still working on their vacation plans.

“You’re still not done?” he asked, now in a much better mood. “And why does it smell like something’s burning?”

“I smoked several Benjamins,” Colby explained absentmindedly, then turned back to Taylor’s laptop. “Okay, let’s book that flight.” He pointed at the screen. “I definitely want first class. And if you book an extra seat, I can even sit next to you. Can you book multiple seats per person?”

Taylor looked skeptically at the screen. “I’m not sure if that’s possible. But we can try. It would be nice if you could sit next to me.”

Colby grinned. “Worst case, I’ll just sit on your lap. Ghost perk. That would be a very interesting first-class experience.”

“Get a room,” Charlie laughed. “I’m going for a jog, alright? You guys don’t need me?” Ever since he stopped sticking to Colby every second, he’d been looking for activities he enjoyed. Even when Colby was alive, he was always tagging along. Somehow, he’d gotten into jogging and liked it.

“Sure, have fun, bro. See you later. He’s going jogging,” Colby quickly explained, then refocused on the vacation planning with Taylor. He was as excited as a kid.

Taylor clicked through the booking site, and it turned out they could book multiple seats. Of course, it came with an extra cost, but that wasn’t an issue.

“Okay, that’s done. What else do we need?” She leaned back.

Colby thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers. “Luxury hotel on the beach, baby! We’re doing this vacation right.”

Taylor nodded enthusiastically and searched for the best luxury hotels in Hawaii. She showed Colby the first results. “How about this one? Five stars, right on the beach, and a spa.”

“Is there a pool?”

“Why do you need a pool when you have the ocean right there?”

Colby grinned broadly. “Because I want it all, Living Girl. Pool, ocean, spa, the whole package. Damn, I want to feel like a god. Money isn’t a problem, so let’s indulge ourselves.”

Taylor looked at him and shook her head, laughing. “You’re impossible. But okay, let’s find the best of the best.”

Colby nodded in agreement. “That’s the spirit!” He pointed at himself as he said it.

Taylor continued searching and finally found a hotel that had it all. “How about this one? It has a private beach, multiple pools, an insanely luxurious spa, a gym, and restaurants with the best reviews.”

“And the suites?” Colby asked curiously.

“Well, the biggest suite they have is the presidential suite,” Taylor explained. “Two bedrooms, a huge living room, two bathrooms, and a private hot tub on the balcony with a breathtaking view of the ocean. There’s even a butler service.”

“Book it. Now,” Colby said without hesitation. “We’re not doing anything halfway.”

“Okay, fine by me,” Taylor smiled and proceeded to the booking page. “From this hotel, we can do a lot of activities too.”

“And just to be clear,” Colby teased, biting his girlfriend’s earlobe, “we don’t need that second bedroom.”

Taylor laughed out loud. “I already knew that, Ghost Boy.”

“Just making sure.”

Taylor shook her head, still laughing. “You’re really incorrigible sometimes.”

“Sometimes? And hey, I just have to make sure you don’t get any silly ideas.”

Taylor rolled her eyes and finally made the booking. “Alright, that’s done. What else do we want to do?”

“Everything. We’re going on a boat tour, snorkeling, surfing, visiting a volcano, and taking part in every luxury activity they offer. And we’re eating in those restaurants. Every single night.”

Taylor laughed again. “You’ve got big plans.”

“And you’re gonna love every fucking minute of it,” Colby promised. “I want this to be the best vacation of your life.”

Taylor shook her head, but her smile showed she was just as excited as he was. “I think it will be.”

“Of course it will be,” Colby said confidently. “After all, you’re there with me. But don’t you think we should just pick activities once we’re there? No stress?”

“Okay, you’re right. So, are we done?”

“It’s going to be epic, I promise. And soon we’ll be off!”

“The wait is terrible. These are going to be the longest days of my life.”

“Don’t worry, it’s only two days,” Colby replied, hugging her tightly. “It’s going to be great, Tay. I can’t wait to take this trip with you.”

Taylor smiled and returned the hug. “I’m excited too. It’s going to be an unforgettable time. Will you help me pack? Hate it.” She gave him a puppy-dog look, making Colby instantly jealous. But she had learned from the best, after all.

Colby grinned and nodded. “Of course, I’ll help you pack. But first, we need to take care of something.”

Taylor raised her eyebrows, worried she had forgotten something important. “What?”

“We still need beachwear, right? Sure, I’d sunbathe naked, but unfortunately, only you would get to enjoy that show.” Colby winked and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, various swimsuits and shorts floated in the air.

“Where did you get those? Please don’t tell me you stole them from some store.”

Immediately, the items vanished, and Colby looked at her sheepishly. “Of course not, Tay-Tay. I’d never do that.” He placed both hands on his hips. “So, Amazon?”

“They won’t arrive in time.”

“Well... we could go to a real store. If you’re up for it.”

The joy on Taylor’s face vanished instantly. A real store? With her social anxiety? “I-I don’t know.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Colby quickly took her hand. “I won’t leave your side. We can do this.” He gently squeezed Taylor’s hand and smiled reassuringly. “I promise I’ll be with you the whole time. You won’t have to feel uncomfortable as long as I’m there.”

Taylor hesitated, but Colby’s soothing words helped her relax a bit. “But I don’t know if I can do it. I mean, with so many people around me…”

He pulled her close and put his arm around her shoulder. “You don’t need to be afraid, Taylor. I’m with you. We’ll take it slow, step by step. You’ve been doing so well lately. And I promise, it might even be fun. Just think about how awesome it’ll be to go on a shopping spree with all this money. And if it really gets too much, I’m here. We can leave anytime, no problem. But I know you can do it. You’re so strong, Taylor. You’ve overcome so much already, we can handle this too. We got this.”

Taylor felt her doubts slowly melt away. She smiled cautiously and nodded. “Okay, you win. Let’s go shopping. After all, we have a deal. But you have to do something for me before we go.”

“Anything.”

She walked a few steps and grabbed a tissue from the kitchen. “Here.”

Colby took it, amused, and looked at his girl questioningly. “What do I do with this?”

“When we were cleaning up, we saw that you can sweat. But you never need to use the bathroom. I know it’s gross to ask, but blow your nose into this.”

“Really?” He laughed. “That’s my test for today?” She nodded with a grin. “Alright, you asked for it.”

He placed the tissue to his nose, took a deep breath, and blew so hard that the tissue fluttered in the wind. Eventually, the tissue couldn’t hold up and tore apart, much to Taylor’s shock. Masses of snot splattered out of her Ghost Boy, dripping everywhere.

“Okay, stop! Stop!” she yelled, disgusted but still laughing.

“As you can see and regret, I can blow my nose like a pro.”

“That’s more than normal. But why no excrement? So you do have bodily stuff inside you, just not everything?” Then an idea struck her. “Colby.”

“Hm?” he asked, shaking his hand dry.

“You’re a total gym rat, right?”

“Are you kidding? You’re still asking that?” He proudly showed off his biceps and repeated the question. “And you’re still asking?!”

“Yeah, yeah. Alright. What I mean is, could it be that you like sweating? You were sweating yesterday.”

Colby thought about it. “Hm, I guess so? It makes me feel kinda alive. Yeah, the irony, but you know what I mean? And even if it’s not an indicator for anything, it feels like the workout is really doing something when I sweat, you know?”

“That’s the answer, you lucky dog, you disgusting creature,” Taylor laughed. “It looks like, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, you decide what you release and what you don’t.”

“What.”

“Do me a favor and think about peeing. Not the other thing, I don’t want ghost poop in my toilet.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want.” He shrugged and obliged. After a moment, his eyes widened, and he darted through the wall into the bathroom.

“And?” Taylor yelled, laughing.

“I’m peeing, Taylor! I can pee!” he shouted back. “Damn, it’s a lot! It just keeps going!”

She didn’t really want to know that much. “Then stop!” Taylor yelled, grossed out.

“… I can stop anytime! You know how hard it is to stop midstream?”

“Yeah, I can imagine. Pretty much every human knows that, Colby.”

He came back through the wall, beaming. How could anyone be so happy about something like this?

“Finished? Can we go shopping now that you’ve convinced me?”

“Almost,” he said, still smiling. “Give me one more moment. I want to fulfill a childhood dream.”

“What dream?”

“I’m going to fucking pee off the Great Wall of China! And it’s going to be three whole liters!” he yelled excitedly, and then he was gone.