“Onward, Mr. Inuus!” I buffed our movement speeds, charging into the unknown. At this point, everything was unknown.

Mr. Inuus continued bringing down parts of the tunnel we passed. Because of that, the world was one giant shaky-cam scene. Difficult to maintain my footing—my hoofing—as I galloped along the cramped passage. Mr. Inuus kept up with me though I had much longer legs.

An all-important question suddenly popped into my mind: Do goats gallop? Here was my powerful brain going into tangents during something important.

I suppose goats did gallop since cows could as well. What was the actual definition of ‘gallop’? Humans didn’t gallop, so there must be a difference between it and running. Could all four-legged animals that could run also gallop? I’d never heard anyone say that dogs and cats could—

“Woah!” I bumped against the wall after a massive quake. Sharp pops followed; cracks ran through the ceiling. Pebbles peppered my [Greater Pyro Shell] as the dust was everywhere again. “What was that? Maybe tone down the demolition, Mr. Inuus.”

(It is our foe, the serpent child of the Mountain Guardian,) replied Mr. Inuus as he cleared the dust with bursts of wind. (I fear it is ramming the walls of this very tunnel. I can hear its movement through the earth.)

“Apologies for blaming—Wah!” Another big shake.

It was like a giant sledgehammer hit the left side of the tunnel. I slammed against the right. The left wall bulged inwards, cracks hinting that it could burst. Thank you, Karnon, for stopping my random-thought spiral about goats and galloping. But no thanks for trying to eat us.

“No way but forward, Mr. Inuus!” I forced my wobbling legs to straighten and ran. “Good thing the path I chose isn’t a dead end.”

A better question: Did we get lucky choosing this hole or was Karnon intentionally herding us this way?

Whatever the answer was, this tunnel appeared to be the right path. It was long, as if deliberately made, and didn’t have any branching paths to confuse us. Though the ceiling was low and its width narrow in parts, there was enough space for my bulky self to swiftly move. And it was opening up the deeper we got, looking less like a random tunnel.

We were going the correct way… to where?

The [Tattered Map] showed us gradually angling away from the wardcrafter’s cave, making my heart sink. But if not there, I was nonetheless heading to parts of the mountain yet unseen by players. Surely some other valuable secret awaited me at the end.

We continued running. Galloping.

Minutes passed. Eventually, the quakes and rumblings stopped. Karnon must’ve gotten tired of us, which was good news. Until we reached some bad news—a dead end.

“We probably shouldn’t have gone this way…” I knocked on one of the rocks blocking our path. Going back wasn’t an option because Mr. Inuus sealed it. “Oh, what am I saying? I’m never wrong. Go ahead, Mr. Inuus.” I made space for my overpowered cloven-hoofed buddy to move forward. “Kindly use your very helpful music magic to check if there’s something past this. Looks to me like a collapsed portion rather than a natural endpoint.”

Floating cymbals clanged. Mr. Inuus bleated happily, projecting in my mind how right I was. (It may take some work, musical friend, but our path continues. We are not trapped.) The cymbals disappeared as trumpets replaced them, summoning ethereal hands to begin the excavation.

“That’s quite handy…” Groans of moving rocks were the only response. A good pun, if I may say so myself. And I do, for I am Herald Stone, Stand-up of the Century. Unfortunately, no one was around to appreciate my comedic genius. Mr. Inuus, as an NPC, didn’t particularly care for it.

Kezo and the others would’ve found it funny, I’d think. If they were with me, we could’ve killed that giant snake with a penchant for freezing things. What loot did Karnon drop? Would it have rare gear?

I imagined it’d be an enjoyable and nostalgic experience dividing loot among our party, making me reminisce of my high school days playing with friends at Vanguard Gaming. I could hardly call myself the party’s main tank yet, so Paritor or Melonomi had better claims to tanking gears we’d find. They’d probably give way to me, but I wouldn’t stir up an issue if they didn’t. I wasn’t a dick about those kind of things between friends.

Friends. Yep.

Making friends as an adult without it being related to work sounded weird. Or was I the weird one for thinking that? I had turned into the archetypal grumpy old man with a cynical view of the world without realizing it.

What would my party mates, my friends, think of my would-be discoveries? A world of difference between showing off to faceless masses for fame and whatnot, and sharing new things with friends. Seemed a basic concept, but it sounded profound in my head. I itched to find the wardcrafter’s cave and the lost Mardukryon tribes—I guess, we were the lost ones—and tell my party about it.

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I blinked. Would you look at that, I cared for others.

Gone was my instinct to keep secrets for myself. In a way, I started to consider my party as part of me. They should be honored. I trusted them now… somewhat. In the context of a game, sure. Still, trust was trust. Real life was also a game.

“Character development in a cave while waiting for a goat to finish excavation,” I muttered with a smile.

Abruptly, blue smoke hissed out of the rubble after Mr. Inuus removed a particularly large rock. Both of us retreated, with Mr. Inuus putting up barriers. If this was the Mountain Guardian’s breath then we, mostly me, were toast.

Well, frozen. Frozen toast.

“This might be the correct time to say, ‘We probably shouldn’t have gone this way’.” I warily observed the smoke that filled the end of the tunnel. Mr. Inuus was in front of me and there was plenty of space to retreat… up to a point. I wasn’t Herald Stone the Scientist, but I knew that gas-filled space. And I was inside that space.

But as suddenly as it began, the hissing stopped. A mere fart. The gas condensed into snow that powdered the ground. Rocks near the hole gleamed, their surfaces frozen.

Mr. Inuus and I looked at each other.

(Do we continue?) he asked.

“We have no choice. Waiting to die is also a choice, but let’s exhaust all options first, shall we?”

The next challenge was revealed as rocks tumbled away. Blue and sparkling on the other side, like a kaleidoscope. The rolling mist, partly obscuring the view, told me of the cold. An environmental hazard? Mr. Inuus’ buffs would hopefully protect me. Similar to the presence of enemies signaling the right path, dangerous obstacles meant a reward at the end.

Usually.

I gestured to the opening. “Goats first.”

(My horns point ever forward.) Mr. Inuus clomped over the rocks, entering the winter wonderland beyond.

“I have horns too, Mr. Inuus,” I said, ducking to fit through the hole as I followed him. “More than you do. And tusks. Not sure what your expression means—holy cow… goat… chicken…”

I gazed around my new surroundings. The amazing sight distracted me from my shell exploding, the myriad of debuffs afflicting me, and my much-lengthened health bar fluctuating like the stock market. Without Mr. Inuus, I would’ve died stepping into this icy domain. But it sure was beautiful here.

The famous ice caves of Gardari came to mind. Nelly vacationed there a couple of years back and wouldn’t stop bombarding me with pictures and videos of it for a month. The entirety of those caves was coated by sheets of ice, giving off a bluish-green hue. The surfaces weren’t smooth though, appearing like waves that had instantly frozen. Something about glacier movements she told me. One couldn’t see their reflection on the ice other than mere blurry figures.

In contrast, it was like I entered a hall of mirrors, though the mirrors were all of different sizes and shapes, with each one giving off its light of various colors while reflecting the light of all the others. Equal parts mesmerizing and dizzying.

And deadly.

A player needed to learn music magic from the crimson goat before coming here. Otherwise, Mr. Inuus wouldn’t show up. It’d be impossible for low to mid-level players to survive without his help. Perhaps the hole in the ruins opened only after Bawu’s bioterrorism, for this used to be a place frequented by many players. They would’ve discovered and explored these tunnels long ago.

Was a connection with Healer Gula also needed? A confluence of events is certainly necessary for a player to reach and survive in this area.

“You are awesome,” I told one of my many handsome reflections.

Handsome? Fearsome was a better description.

My four horns curving forward were longer than when I first made my character; Mardukryons grew as we leveled up. When I’d reach thirty very soon, I’d be larger and my horns even longer, along with the tusks jutting from the sides of my mouth. My four glowing eyes peered out the slits of my helmet. It was amusing how equipment adjusted depending on the player’s race.

I was mostly covered with armor. The meager exposed skin of my upper body looked like dried magma webbed with smoldering veins, blending in with my fashion style. Bawu’s reward of the Blighted Vinereaver’s Revenge set—black with a sickly green aura, accented by carvings of spiked vines—also went well with my auction-bought Fiery Devise pieces—red metal with flame designs. I had two shields, each the size of a refrigerator door, hanging by my left and right flanks. As much as I hated looking like Luds, I also had poison flasks dangling from my waist.

Darkish green miasma swirled about my hooves. It was the [Blight Cloud] granted by the final set bonus of Blighted Vinereaver’s Revenge. It dealt damage per second based on my retribution damage stats. A joke compared to what the icy mist could do. I’d gladly trade [Blight Cloud] for whatever this environmental hazard was.

“Any idea what this place is, Mr. Inuus?” Puffs came out of my mouth as if I was vaping.

(I don’t have the slightest inkling, my musical friend. I’d daresay this is related to the Mountain Guardian, but nothing beyond that. A few caves of ice I have seen, but not to this magical extent.)

We didn’t encounter any monsters. No more quakes caused by Karnon. Checking the [Tattered Map], I was elated that we were heading back to the direction of the wardcrafter’s cave. I’d give an offering to the ancestors if this was a bypass road to avoid Karnon.

“Are these bones?” We passed a skeleton of a small humanoid creature curled up in a fetal position. I gave it a light kick. The bones shattered. “I didn’t mean to do that! Sorry, dead guy.”

Not only bones but there were also shriveled bodies preserved in the cold, as well as shells and exoskeletons of creatures like Crabores. Many had wandered into this tunnel and died.

(Dear me!) Mr. Inuus stopped beside a pillar of ice. Something behind it surprised him.

I hurried up to him and saw… a dead Mardukryon.