Day one

Ole Jethro was just minding his own business, playing the banjo on the porch with a glass of sweet iced tea and a smile in his heart. He'd recently renovated his home, even saved up enough for some nice furniture and some fancy clay pots to store goods for the coming winter (and ferment some booze that the missus doesn't know about). Even his beautiful wife Gloria was taking things easy crocheting away on some embroidery or some such as the pie cools. Safe to say, things were looking up for this farmer and his family. However, the kingdom has been going through a bit of a new fad these days. Something about adventurers and defeating a Demon Lord? Suppose they are some kind of heroes, fighting for the common folk like Jethro himself, and that sounds just fine by him. Not much of a fighter anyways.

After finishing his tune and setting aside his banjo, he picked up his glass of sweet tea and took a satisfying sip, watching the ice float about and imagining them to be priceless crystals from some mine or the like. From that narrowed view, he saw something coming over the horizon. Putting his glass down, he brought his hand up to his brow and squinted his eyes. Is that a person?

The person in question looked to be no older than a teenager, but those pointy ears of his made him think he might be a bit older. Elves tend to be annoying like that. He wore a green tunic, and sported a pretty fancy long sword and a shield with some weird turkey on it. "Must be one of those adventurers I heard about..." He said as he got up off his chair and walked up to meet this old man child elf.

"Howdy there! You one of those adventurers, traveling around and fighting monsters and saving princesses and some such?" He said as he stood in the gateway to his fenced off home, resting an elbow on one of the poles. It was then that he noticed something a bit...off. His face. This little elf man had the most dead, lifeless expression on his face that felt like there wasn't any kind of soul behind those eyes of his.

"You alright there, kid?" Jethro asked as the adventurer continued walking right up to him, all up until the little bastard bumped right into him. "The fuck?!" The farmer exlaimed both in shock and frustration at the gall this kid had. Were it not for him catching himself on the pole, Jethro would have been flat on his ass. "Back off, kid!" The farmer said as he shoved the adventurer back a few steps, raising his fist up in case he needed to fight back. However, the dead-pan adventurer just stood there for a few seconds, those eyes looking beyond whatever was before him.

The adventurer then took out some kind of flute and began playing, swaying side to side like some zombie as he hit all the wrong notes. The elf tried to play a few more times before seeming to give up, and quickly pulled out his sword from its sheath, getting into a fighting stance.

Jethro being a simple farmer had absolutely no idea how to handle this, especially since he was unarmed. But instead of the elf charging at him, he began rolling on the ground side to side before hoping back up to his feet. All that rolling found the elf next to Jethro's fence.

"Don't you dare break my fence, you little shit!" Jethro said, but he was completely ignored.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

The elf started side hopping into the fence, practicing futility as the sturdy barrier didn't budge. That didn't stop him though, as he began hopping faster and faster, kicking up dust as he dedicated himself top this tomfoolery.

"You won't be getting past that fence that way, so just give up and go back to wherever you came from." Jethro said as he waved the adventurer away even though he was being ignored. He was tempted to go back into the house and get his crossbow to scare him off, but ended up awestruck at the madness before him. The adventurer somehow phased through his fence and found himself on the other side!

That little green tunic wearing bastard started power walking through the yard until he found himself at Gloria's favorite Mulberry bushes. Without any hesitation, the adventurer uprooted the bushes and tossed them away.

"Hey, your paying for those!" Jethro said as he jogged up to the adventure, "My wife poured her heart into those..." He began to complain as his head followed the path the adventure took, fear filling his heart. The adventurer was walking into his home!

"Gloria!" He shouted as he ran after the adventurer, passing through the doorway. Looking about frantically, he noticed his wife in the kitchen, standing in the corner shivering at the sight of this intruder. "Get out of our home, you brat!" Jethro said as struck the back of the adventurer's head with a solid punch. The little elf stumbled for a second, but somehow the farmer felt he didn't even hurt him. The kid doesn't even seem to be registering his presence at all, almost as if the only thing he saw was the house and the contents inside. Rushing over to Gloria, he held her in his arms and looked on as the adventure began diving rolling through his pottery and opening any chest he could find.

"W-what do we do, Jethro?" Gloria asked fearfully, "He's taking all our things! Making a mess out of our home!"

"I-I don't know, dear." He replied as he shook his head, "That kid is as solid as a rock, with strange powers. I don't think even my crossbow will do much against him." He admitted, watching the adventurer stuff random objects and food into an impossibly small bag.

After a time, the adventurer seemed to get bored, or more than likely looted all the family's valuables, and power-walked out the door, but not before clipping his shoulder against the door frame. Following the walking disaster outside, Jethtro and Gloria watched as he pulled out his flute once more. THis time however, his mechanical tune seemed to work, as he summoned a massive horse that fell from the sky and shattered the farmer's mailbox on impact. Mounting his steed, the adventure rode off into the distance, making his horse jump every bit of the way.

Jethro's shoulders slumped once he saw the adventurer disappear, his lips quivering as he did his best to hold back tears. As his wife rubbed his back, he sank to his knees, "What is the world coming too?" He asked no one in particular. "Were these adventurers actually some kind of criminals in disguise, using the face of justice to take from the common folk?"

"Should we move, Dear?" Gloria asked as she looked at her torn up mulberry bushes, clutching her blouse tightly. "Sell the farm and move to another kingdom?"

"That won't do any good, Gloria." He said as he shook his head, "Heard that Adventurers are popping up everywhere. Don't think any place is safe now."

"Then what do we do? Let them destroy our home again?" She asked exasperatedly, with a bit of hope that her husband will do something about it somehow.

"No." Jethro said as he punched the wooden porch with a thunk, "Never again."

The farmer then stood up once more, a look of determination in his eyes. "I plan to put a stop to these so called adventurers coming in and acting like they own the place!" He said as he stepped off the porch and into the front yard, picking up the mailbox that was now a crumpled mass of metal.

"You hear that, adventurers!" He yelled out into the open air, "You'll never take what is ours again, if it's the last thing I'll do!"