The journey to Ovedural was subdued. They pushed their pudgy as hard as they could, only stopping for short rests when its strength wavered and its wings sputtered.
They didn’t stop to make camp and sleep until they had cleared the Bellowing Heights. They had no food, but nnone of them were particularly hungry. Every loud noise, every strong gust of wind, made them start, terrified that an army of goblins would descend on them.
The Kipwater Fields, a broad grassland of hearty durum and spelt, offered some relief to their constant paranoia. The flat landscape allowed them to see at great distances. If the orcs were following them, they would be easy to spot in advance.
But they could not even see the smoke of the numerous fires they had seen in the mountain. They came to the Moaning Brook, a sparkling, clear river that cut across the plains. The water was crisp and cool, almost refrigerated.
They slept under the stars, huddled together, not daring to light a fire. On the third day, they spotted the strange city of Ovedural.
The city was enclosed by a perfect circle of slate stone walls at least forty feet tall. At the center stood a single, conical-shaped castle. It was difficult to gauge its size from such a distance, but it was huge - five or six hundred yards across at the base, and at least four times that in height.
The central cone was surrounded by nine, evenly-spaced towers, placed equidistant between the central keep and the outer wall. The towers stretched only half the height of the colossal central structure, but they were still impressively tall. Each was topped with a metal globe, three times as wide as the tower that supported it. The globes slowly rotated, and each had a slit opening like a cat’s eye, giving a particularly strong Orwellian feel to the entire city.
Aside from these strange buildings, the city was packed with the usual small, squat buildings made from wood and plaster.
They landed their pudgy outside the city walls. A group of twenty soldiers charged them, brandishing long halberds.
“Who are you!” shouted one of the men, who had the build of an adult who had never grown out of his toddler body.
“Whoa, easy there, fellas,” Charlie said, gently pushing one of the pikes near his face gently away with his hand. “We were dispatched on a mission by the Council of Kings. We require your help.”
The soldiers shifted uneasily.
“The Council of Kings, you say?” the same man said. He appeared to be either the ranking officer, or the soldier the other men most respected, as they all deferred to him. “And what proof do you have?”
“Well,” Nate said. “We don’t exactly have proof.”
Several of the guards chuckled dangerously. “There are rumors that orcs are once again wandering the foothills,” the man said. “How do we know you are not spies sent by the enemy?”
“Listen,” Nate said. “What is your name?”
“My name, sir?”
Nate nodded.
“Don, sir. Sergeant Don Stewart.”
“Okay, Don, my name is Nate. This is Sam, and Charlie. We were sent by Alianna Stormbow, Captain of the Soldiers of the Sun, on a quest that took us into the heart of the enemy’s forces.”
The soldiers glanced at one another nervously.
“The rumors you have heard are true. Orcs and goblins again walk these lands. They are assembling an army. They march to war.”
The men began to talk and whisper in excited terror among themselves.
“I told you-”
“Orcs aren’t real!”
“We’re all going to die!”
“I hope so, I’ve had diarrhea for two years.”
Nate raised his voice. “They march on the Kingdom of Yonate. That is where the armies of men will face their greatest foe, and the fate of us all will be decided.”
Don studied Nate’s face, his lip curled in suspicion.
“How do you know where the enemy will attack?” He said. The other soldiers fell silent.
“We were sent to kill the Queen of Storms,” Nate said. The soldiers gasped in disbelief. “To kill all three members of the Conclave of Flame and Salt.”
“How?”
“Who could do such a thing?”
“Impossible!”
“This is madness!”
“Who’s the Queen of Storms?”
“Don’t be a knob, Larry!”
“We failed in our task,” Nate continued. “Most of our party was killed in the battle. Only we three survived. But the Queen of Storms told us where they would strike. So we must warn Captain Stormbow.”
Don seemed to be mulling this information over. “Well, this ain’t covered in the manual, that’s for sure,” he said to one of this fellow soldiers, a thin, lanky man with a neck so long if he drank milk it would expire by the time it reached his stomach.
Charlie exhaled through his nose in exasperation. “Donathan Stewart!” he shouted angrily.
“That’s not-” Don began, but Charlie cut him off.
“If you do not give us the aid we seek, we will tell the Child King that your failure to act cost the lives of thousands of your fellow soldiers.”
Don’s face blanched.
“Do you think he will look kindly on such a course of action?”
“No, sir,” Don said quietly. He withdrew his halberd, pointing it skyward. The rest of the soldiers did the same. “What do you need?”
After some negotiations, they were able to purchase three fresh pudgies from the city guard, though they were reluctant to part with such rare beasts. They bought food and other provisions, and after leaving Don with a silver zlot for his assistance, they set out once more for Menoa.
“You know what I’ve been thinking about?” Nate said as they soared southwest, over the endless blue ocean.
“That once this is all over, we should return to Ovedural and get a cool apartment with Don?”
“What? No.”
“That we should at least visit him every year at Christmas?”
“I don’t… Do they even have Christmas in this world?”
“I doubt it, but we’re probably going to be famous if we survive this. The kind of famous that could maybe start a new holiday?”
“No, Charlie. I don’t think we should establish a new, national celebration, so we can visit Don every year in December.”
“Well, maybe not visit every year, but we could at least add him to our Christmas card mailing list.”
“No! I don’t want to do that!”
“You know, I’m starting to think I liked Don more than you did.”
Nate sighed. Sam was red-faced, stifling her laughter. “What I was going to say, is it seems odd that the Queen of Storms would tell us exactly where they were headed with their armies.”
“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “I mean, Alianna already had a good guess, right? Based on troop movements or whatever?”
“But the Queen of Storms doesn’t know that. So why tip her hand?”
“Because they’re actually going to attack somewhere else?” Charlie said.
“Maybe,” Sam said. “But not if their armies are assembling near the Furnace. Armies don’t exactly move fast, especially when marching on foot. By the time they moved their forces in another direction, our scouts would know.”
“I just can’t shake this sinking feeling that she wants us there,” Nate said. “She wants us in Yonate when the attack begins.”
“Why?” Charlie asked.
“No idea.”
Curling south, they cut along the jagged edge of Winterrock Forest, its trees a tangle of brilliant orange and blazing yellow vines that hung like thick spider webs across the canopy. They slept sparingly, pushing themselves and their mounts to the limits in their haste to reach the army Captain Stormbow led.
Arriving at last at the city of Menoa, they breathed a sigh of relief. The city was surrounded by a massive army. Nestled within the Blackwood forest, an enormous section of trees had been cleared to accommodate the soldiers, leaving only a handful of pines and oaks scattered through the encampment.
Thousands of tents dotted the landscape, many decorated with brightly colored, homemade banners adorned with the insignia of whatever particular battalion had been organized.
Huge wagons filled with supplies, sacks of grain and barrels of salted fish and pork, were ubiquitous as they flew over the innumerable host toward the central pavilion.
They landed in a small clearing at the center of the army. They were greeted by Alianna, Gri hot on her heels.
Gri scooped Charlie up in a bear hug. He groaned as she squeezed him.
“Gri happy soft man okay,” she said, bouncing him up and down like a baby. “Gri very happy.”
“Yes- thanks,” Charlie gasped, the veins in his neck bulging until she set him back down.
“What news do you bring?” Alianna said, clasping arms with each of them. “Where are the others? Where is Meralda?”
The friends exchanged nervous glances. Alianna’s face fell.
“Well, you see…” Nate said, before spilling the story like vomit. He figured it was best to get this part over with as quickly as possible.
“And the hand?” she asked once Nate finally stopped his verbal diarrhea.
“Lost,” Sam said.
“But the prophecy…” Alianna’s words trailed off.
Nate shrugged. “Yeah, we don’t get it either.”
Alianna turned her back to them, her muscles tense. She turned back to them, her eyes wild, her mind seemed to be racing a thousand miles a minute.
Finally, she calmed herself. “There is nothing more to be done. We march to war.”
Charlie grinned. “Yes! It’s about time the hunter, who became the huntee, became the hunter… again.”
Alianna smiled as politely as she was capable of in the given circumstances, and led them into the immense tent where she and the other generals had been meeting. She cleared her throat.
“Our gambit has failed,” she said. There were groans of disappointment and whispers of panic among the thirty soldiers there. “We always knew it was but a slim hope that war could be averted. The armies of darkness march upon Yonate. Marshall your forces, for we shall meet them there, to victory, or to the ruin of us all.”
Her generals all burst into motion, shouting orders and commands as they exited the pavilion.
“Are these all the armies of Whitespire?” Sam asked.
Alianna shook her head. “No. With the deaths of the Lord of Shadow and the Golden Queen, we have taken command of the armies of Dracitha and Khozar. Drunate and Menoa have joined us as well.”
“What about the other Kingdoms?” Nate asked.
“They are summoning their conscripts, and heading to Yonate. With any luck, they will have already arrived by the time we get there.”
A page scampered in carrying a number of documents, but stopped short, looking nervous.
“Now,” Alianna said, “if you’ll excuse me, your clackers have been provisioned and are waiting for you with the quartermaster,” She held out her hand, and the page hastily gave her the papers. “If you wish to eat, do so now. We ride for Yonate within the hour.”
“That went better than I expected,” Nate said as they stepped back out into the bright afternoon sun. “She didn’t even yell at us.”
They picked their way between the bustling encampments, stopping twice to ask for directions to the quartermaster through the maze of seemingly identical tents and faces, Gri beaming at Charlie the entire time.
They heard the sounds of a woman screaming.
Sam glanced at Nate and Charlie before heading to investigate.
They came upon a group of soldiers, each laughing and pawing at an elven girl in iron shackles, chained to a wagon.
“Now, now, you can’t sample the wares without paying,” an old woman who was perched atop the wagon chortled. She was dreadfully ugly, like the human version of the one percent of germs that survive bathroom cleaning products. The few teeth that remained in her mouth were a mottled brown, and spittle ran freely as she spoke.
“What is going on here?” Sam demanded.
The disgusting woman grinned at the three friends. “Well, well, looks like we have three more potential buyers.”
“Buyers?” Nate said. “Buyers of what?”
The woman bent over, her dirty gnarled fingers grabbing the shackled girl’s cheeks, squeezing her face until her mouth puckered. “Why, this fine young thing. She is juicy, she is young, and she is as fresh as a ripened peach.”
The other soldiers began to laugh and jeer. The young girl yelped as a haggard dwarf roughly groped her butt. The old woman slapped the man’s hand. “Now, now, we mustn’t damage the goods. Now, who wishes to begin the bidding? Do I have three grosh?”
One of the soldiers held up a handful of coins. “I have five grosh!”
“Six grosh!” another shouted.
“Nine!”
The bidding war continued.
“Excuse me,” Sam said, her eyes flashing dangerously. “But is this legal? Does Captain Stormbow know of this?”
The old woman grinned. “Oh, aye, ’tis legal. Part of the spoils of war, am I right boys?”
The men all cheered.
“Captain Stormbow knows you sell sex slaves to these men?” Sam said louder.
“Are ye stupid or something, girl?” the old woman said. “I am a fully licensed, bonded, and insured sex slave dealer.” She reached inside her filthy cloak and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Got the papers right here.”
Charlie took the documents from her hand. It was some sort of certificate, with a signature and wax seal.
“That’s the signature of the Forest Shaman herself right there,” the old crone continued. She grinned.
“I’ve attend gay pride parades straighter than your teeth,” Sam said.
“It certainly looks official,” Charlie said as he folded the document back up and handed it to the woman.
“Charlie,” Nate said, backhanding his shoulder. “She’s selling sex slaves. Does it matter if it’s official?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
Sam and Nate both stared at him, horrified.
“Look,” Charlie said. “I’m not trying to defend sex slavery.”
“I feel like if you have to start a statement that way, whatever follows is going to be bad,” Sam said.
“But-“
“Here it comes,” Nate said.
“BUT,” Charlie said more forcefully. “Right now, we’re marching to war to try and prevent the end of the world. As much as I would love to try and sort out the legal intricacies of what is happening with the sex slave trade, and start a campaign to advocate for a change to the law, which who knows how they are even established and enforced in this particular kingdom, all I’m saying is, perhaps now is not the time for that particular fight.”
Sam opened her mouth to protest, but she could not think of a counter argument. “He’s right,” she said glumly to Nate.
“What?” Nate said, exasperated. “You can’t be serious.”
Sam gestured. “What are we going to do? Arrest them? Attack them? I can’t imagine the generals would look kindly on us killing these soldiers over what is apparently a legal activity.”
Nate could see how much the words hurt Sam to say. She was holding back tears. He’d seen her do that many times over the course of their friendship. She had a stubborn refusal to show any weakness.
“Let’s go get our clackers…” she said quietly. She and Charlie turned to leave.
“One zlot,” Nate said, turning back to the old woman.
There was an audible gasp from the crowd that had gathered to watch the scene.
“Nate, what are you doing?” Sam said.
“Look, we may not be able to stop the whole sex slave trade,” he said. “But we can at least save her.”
Sam grinned and brushed her cheek.
“Uh…” a group of soldiers had formed a huddle, and were counting up their combined money. “We have two zlots, five grosh, and thirty seven sticks,” their spokesman said. They begin to chuckle menacingly at the girl.
“Twenty zlots,” Nate said. Another audible gasp. The shackled girl’s jaw dropped.
“Oi!” One of the soldiers - a shaggy dwarf with hands so fat that, if he punched you, it would be a no-knuckle sandwich - shouted. He approached Nate and jabbed a thick finger into his chest. “What’s the idea here! We’re just some blokes tryin’ to ‘ave a good time.”
Sam’s spear suddenly crackling with energy. “You’re awful ballsy for a guy who looks like he drops common loot.”
The dwarf slowly backed away, fat hands held up. “I don’t want no trouble.”
“Twenty zlots?” the old hag said breathlessly. “I- I-” she stammered. “I’m going to need to see the money.”
Nate shrugged, and pulled out Eldred’s coin purse. He counted out twenty of the silver zlots, before tucking the bag back into his armor. “Twenty zlots,” he said, not bothering to hide the disdain in his voice.
“Sold!” the woman said, greedily accepting the coins. She handing him the chain without taking her gleaming eyes off the wealth now in her hands.
“Is there a key?” he asked.
“What?” the old woman said. She finally pulled her gaze from the coins. “Oh, yes, here,” she removed a small iron key from her pocket and tossed it to him.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said. Once they had put some distance between themselves and the slaver, they stopped. Nate unlocked the shackles around the girl’s wrists and neck. The chains dropped heavily to the ground.
“What is your name?” Sam asked the girl, who was rubbing the raw spots where the metal had bit her skin.
“I do not have a name,” the girl said.
“You don’t have a name?”
She shook her head. “My new master is supposed to give me my name.”
“But surely your mother called you something,” Charlie said.
“I never knew my mother.”
“Well, what should we call you?”
“He should give me a name,” she said, gazing in awe at Nate in a way that he had never experienced, and which made him deeply uncomfortable.
“Me?” Nate said. “Why me?”
“Because you are my master,” she said. “You paid a vast fortune for me. I am honored. I hope I can please you.”
Nate blushed as Sam opened her mouth and stammered. Too many jokes and insults wanted to pour out of her at once, garbling her words into nonsense. “Nate… pleased… never… disappointment… small… dad…”
Charlie grinned. “I think she’s having a stroke.”
“I didn’t buy you for that,” Nate said. “We’re setting you free.”
Her face fell. Tears welled in her eyes. “Am I… am I not desirable?”
Nate blushed harder. “No, you’re super attractive.” He glanced at Sam in horror, and somehow turned a deeper shade of red. “I mean. You’re fine. I’m not attracted to you personally, but you’re objectively attractive. It’s just-”
“This is amazing,” Hag said to Charlie. “Because Nate likes Sam, but he doesn’t know if she likes him back.” Charlie held up his hand, and Hag gave him a tiny high-five.
“Don’t you want to be free?” Nate finally asked, avoiding Sam’s monstrous smirk.
The girl thought for a moment. “Who will feed me? Where will I sleep?”
“I, uh…” Nate said. “I don’t know. Wherever you want, I guess? Do you know how to like, farm or something?”
“I have never seen a farm before. I have no money. I was raised for this. Trained for this. Tell me, are there men who will pay to use my body for pleasure?”
“Cool,” Sam said. “You freed her from sex slavery so she could immediately go into sex slavery.”
“You know, a little help would be appreciated,” Nate grumbled.
“Alright, fine,” Sam said. “How about you come work for us?”
“I was not trained in the ways of pleasing a woman, but I could learn.”
Now it was Sam’s turn to blush. “No, work for us, but not with sex.”
“What would I do?”
“I don’t know, whatever we need, I guess? Help look after our clackers, help with the cooking and cleaning, and tracking our supplies.”
“I’ve never cooked before.”
“We’ll show you how,” Charlie said. “And we’ll pay you, so you aren’t a slave. You’re an employee.”
The girl smiled, even as her face swam with confusion and uncertainty. “I could try.”
“Good,” Sam said. “It’s settled then.”
“I still need a name,” the girl said.
Sam and Charlie both turned to Nate.
“Why do I have to choose?”
“Because this was your brilliant idea,” Charlie said.
“Okay, fine, uh…” Nate thought for a moment. “How about Margaret? That was my grandmother’s name. I always kinda liked it.”
“Naming your sex slave after your grandma,” Hag said. “That’s a nice way to honor her memory.”
They pushed through the throng of soldiers who scrambled about in chaos, rolling tents, collecting weapons, or donning armor. Lewd jokes were told as Sam and Margaret were cat-called.
A fat soldier so bloated he resembled a dead guy who had been floating in a lake for three days jumped out from behind a nearby tree. He had his hands shoved down his pants, and his pudgy finger sticking out the front fly, which he was waggling at them as he held his tongue out and made a rude noise.
“I really love the family atmosphere here,” Nate said as he shoved the soldier out of the way. The fat man clumsily tripped, and swung his heavy arms as he trotted backwards in a vain attempt to regain his balance. He crashed into two other soldiers, knocking them all to the ground.
“Careful, Nate,” Sam said. “He looks like he might pop like a water balloon.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Charlie saw the flash of a blade. He shoved Nate forward as a longsword narrowly missed his neck.
The soldier grinned wickedly as he pulled down his shirt, revealing the dragon claw brand burned into his flesh.
Nate sighed. “These guys again?”
The fat man slowly rolled to his feet like a swollen tick. He too flashed his brand, drawing a small dagger.
A third assassin shouted a war cry from the top of the tree. He leapt toward them, his axe swinging wildly over his head. He was quite high up. They causally stepped away as he fell.
The assassin landed heavily, with a sickly crack as his ankle folded at an unnatural angle. His body crumpled under the momentum. He slammed his forehead into his knee, and collapsed unconscious.
Gri strolled over to him, drew a dagger, and casually stabbed him in the chest.
The fat man charged Sam, making a sound similar to a dog choking on a chicken bone. She side stepped him easily. His considerable girth made it impossible to pivot. She tripped him as he ran past. He pitched forward into the tree trunk. He crashed into it with the top of his head, which split like a ripe melon.
The third man circled for a moment, tossing his longsword from hand to hand. He twirled the blade and spun in an attempt to intimidate them. Gri approached cautiously, hefting the vicious axe from her back. She waited, and watched.
The man grinned confidently, spiraling the blade, whirling it in the air, and catching it again. Gri made no move to attack, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
She did not have to wait long.
His hand slipped as he danced in a circle. The sword launched some twenty feet away where it clattered to the dirt.
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He stared at Gri, wide-eyed and confused. Her axe freed his head from his shoulders in one clean, smooth motion. The body stubbornly stumbled for a few moments, before collapsing to the ground.
“Well, that was something,” Sam said.
They arrived at the quartermaster, a man with a mustache so thin it looked like it spelled “puberty” in Morse code.
They were greeted warmly by their clackers. Even Charlie couldn’t hide his smile as Neekerbreeker clicked affectionately and nuzzled its long, curved horn into his side.
“I gotta pee before we go,” Nate said. “Where are the bathrooms?”
“Bathrooms?” the Quartermaster said. He gestured everywhere around them. “Take your pick.”
“Gross,” they all said in unison.
“Alright, I’ll be right back, I guess.” Nate disappeared into the crowd. He didn’t relish the thought of peeing in front of strangers, but he certainly wasn’t about to do it in front of Sam.
“You like him,” Margaret said to Sam.
“Who, Nate?”
“It is obvious, the way you look at him.”
“You’ve known me for all of ten minutes,” Sam muttered.
“Go to him,” Margaret said. “Go kiss him.”
“He’s peeing.”
“Who cares?” Charlie said. “That’s just giving someone the ol’ Minneapolis thank you.”
“First of all, I don’t like Nate,” Sam said. “Second of all, if I did like Nate, I wouldn’t want our first kiss to be mid-stream-of-urine. That’s not exactly the first kiss scenario little girls dream about.”
Margaret put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “You are marching to war. There may not be another time. Regret can be a heavy burden.”
“You’re very wise,” Hag said. “You know, for an underage sex slave.”
Sam stared at her hand, unused to physical affection from anyone. She patted it twice, then carefully pushed it off her shoulder.
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
#
The march north was agonizingly slow. Organizing and coordinating the movements of tens of thousands of soldiers was a logistical nightmare.
Sam, Nate, and Charlie quickly learned not to bother Captain Stormbow or the other generals. They rode near the honor guard along with the other vassals and a large contingent of the Soldiers of the Sun, but kept mostly to themselves during the months-long journey.
Nate found the tedium and boredom torturous. He knew they were bound toward something ghastly; bloodshed on an incomprehensible scale, with the distinct possibility they would not survive.
It reminded him of the agonizing wait for a root canal appointment. He wanted to get it over with. The dread-filled anticipation up was far worse than the event itself.
Finally, Yonate materialized on the hazy horizon. The city was utterly bizarre in its construction. A series of long rings hung in the air, suspended by what Charlie assumed was a gravity anomaly or the experiment of some mad wizard. Each of the concentric rings hung at a slightly different angle. Each was enormous, covered with buildings that jutted up like jagged teeth.
At the center was a globe-shaped castle of sandstone. Windows and gates appeared from every imaginable direction along its round surface. A web of bridges hung between the central castle and the closest rings, and each of the rings had connecting arches between them. The city reminded Charlie of the doilies his grandmother had obsessively collected and framed to hang on her bedroom wall.
They could see the armies from Yonate, their white banners snapping in the wind, and Fequar, clad in deep green armor. The soldiers bustled about the city periphery, digging a winding network of trenches and erecting palisades across the flat plain to the south and west of the city of rings.
To the north were steep foothills that resembled wrinkled skin where the rains had left long, wobbling channels and lines in the gray earth.
To the northwest, the Furnace loomed, a silent sentinel of calamity. The monstrous volcano belched and vomited smoke and ash into the sky, infecting the land with its gray pall.
Their army slowly trampled its way across the sparse prairie land from the south. Alianna seemed relieved they had arrived before the battle had begun. Her face darkened she saw the innumerable thin trails of black smoke that drifted skyward to the northwest. Judging by their distance, whatever was making those fires would arrive by nightfall.
To the east, the pitted coast would provide no safe passage. No retreat. Here is where they would meet their fate, be it victory or ruin.
As they approached the forces of Yonate and Fequar, runners were sent to greet them.
“What news?” Alianna shouted to the riders.
“The armies of the enemy descend upon us. Orcs, goblins, and giants.”
“Giants?” Charlie said. “Like the Ancients?”
“No,” Alianna answered. “Though they claim to be their descendants. Nasty, brutish creatures.” She turned back to the messenger. “How many?”
“Too many,” the scout said. “At least five hundred thousand orcs and goblins by our estimates. With more on the way.”
“By the Aether,” Alianna said breathlessly. “So many.”
Sam looked behind them. The armies marching under their banner numbered about one-fourth of that. Even combined with the forces already assembled, they were outnumbers at least three to one.
And then there were the giants.
“Make haste,” she commanded her generals. “I fear, tonight, we shall fight under the stars.”
They were shocked by the general sense of confusion among the troops. Though trenches and palisades were being erected, each legion appeared to be following the orders of their commander, with no apparent communication between field officers. It was a scattershot mess with no unified front.
Alianna set to work reorganizing the defenses. She dispersed her Cenobites, the Soldiers of the Sun who specialized in war and strategy, to try and bring some order to the chaos.
Sam, Nate, and Charlie rode to the center of the defenses, an immense wooden tower that had been hastily constructed to give the generals a bird’s eye view of the battlefield. A steady flow of pages ran to and from the tower, communicating orders as the generals tried to turn a chaotic mess into a coherent plan.
It was a frustrating process. Nate would observe Alianna give an order and watch in silent frustration as the soldiers on the ground adjusted their position, dug more trenches, or moved spear walls, often in the wrong direction. It would then take hours to communicate the error and fix it.
As dusk approached, the distant thrumming of war drums could be heard echoing across the spacious plain. The trail of smoke had slowly approached from the edge of the foothills all day, where they descended sharply to meet the plains.
Darkness fell. The army continued their preparations by torchlight. Trebuchets had been erected, the walls restructured to create an acceptable barrier, proceeded by long trenches filled with spikes and spears and coated in oily tar.
The armies now stood in lined formations across the battlefield. At the top of the tower, the generals stood with a detachment of sixty footman, each carrying a long pole with the flag of a regiment below.
Alianna had developed a brilliant means of communicating troop movements to the commanding officers below, based on how the flags were positioned or waved from the tower. They could only pray the battalion commanders would remember the meaning behind the complicated array.
A small squadron of Soldiers of the Sun stood near the base of the tower. The two hundred soldiers, dressed in their gleaming white armor, stood ready to re-enforce any position that might need it. Their speed and savagery would be an invaluable asset on the battlefield.
Gri had insisted on guarding the tower base, along with a contingent of heavily armored knights. She had refused to be left out of the battle proper, but also did not want to leave her beloved Charlie.
She was flagrantly noticeable, stripped to the barest of clothing, wearing little more than her traditional war paint as she mingled with the knights in their gleaming silver armor and elaborate, pompous decorations and medals.
The drums grew louder, and the stomping of thousands of orc boots shook the ground like thunder. The mad army appeared from behind the foothill, cataclysmic and deadly. These were not the clean, organized military lines of a disciplined army. They were the stygian hoards of hell, anarchy and pandemonium incarnate.
“Archers and catapults at the ready” Alianna shouted. Three of the battalion flags waved in long sweeps. Three brigades of dwarven archers quickly shifted positions, their bows creaking as they prepared to fire.
“Dwarves?” Charlie said. “Not elves?”
Alianna seemed confused.
“Not elves?”
“Why would the race of the archers matter?”
“I, uh, had heard that elves were good archers.”
“Where did you hear that?”
“Uh-oh,” Nate said. “Charlie is being accidentally racist.”
“Captain Stormbow,” Sam said, preventing Charlie from further embarrassing himself. “What should we do during the battle?”
Alianna clasped her arm. “Follow the Aether. I do not know what role you have to play in this, but I sense it will be pivotal. Follow where the Aether guides.”
It was an eerie feeling, like being in the eye of a hurricane as the innumerable host of orcs and goblins approached. Nate could see the giants now, scattered among the ranks of the army. He counted at least sixty.
The giants stood nearly forty feet tall, the skin on their bare chests coarse and calloused. They each hefted a gnarled club the size of a tree. Their round, hairy bellies hung over filthy, ragged kilts. Behind each giant, a contingent of goblins drove enormous carts filled with boulders, covered in pitch and hay.
The army stopped roughly five hundred yards from the palisades and trenches. The drumming stopped, and an eerie silence settled in. As if the entire world held its breath. The banners flapped idly in a gentle breeze. Otherwise, all was still.
The soldiers below began to murmur, whispers rolled through their army like waves of panic.
Nate glanced at his friends. Charlie nodded to him, holding up a clenched fist.
Nate stepped to the edge of the tower, and shouted.
“Hey, guys! Hey, everyone!”
Several soldiers stared up at him in vague confusion.
“Not the strongest start,” Sam said to Charlie.
He cupped his hands over his mouth.
“Armies of the Ten Kingdoms!” His voice suddenly boomed across the field as if projected through stadium speakers. He glanced back at his friends in confusion, but they were equally puzzled.
Hag gave him a thumbs-up.
“Did the Aether do that?” Nate asked, his voice rumbling loudly across the battlefield.
“I don’t know,” Sam said. “But your mic is still on.”
“Oh, right. Er… My fellow soldiers. Hi. My name is Nate,” he sighed. “That’s not important. Look, I’m gonna be honest, this is a pretty bad situation we’re in, right? Like, there’s that huge army of bad guys over there. We’re outnumbered like, three to one, and those aren’t great odds.”
Another roil of murmurs ran through the army.
“Three to one?”
“They outnumber is that much?
”We can’t win.”
“We should flee!”
Alianna’s mouth pulled tight. “Best not to tell them the specific odds…”
Nate cleared his throat. “And the Queen of Storms, she scary, right? And the Magister of Rot is, really, just the worst. I hadn’t met the Lord of Ash until recently, but he seems like a dick too. They’re all just, generally awful. And they’re probably going to be here any minute now, with even more soldiers, probably.”
Sam cleared her throat loudly. Nate closed his eyes, slowing his breath, trying to calm his mind.
“I don’t know much about war. Me and my friends, we’re visitors to your world. We can see the enemy. We can hear their drums. Any moment, they’ll come crashing down, and we will meet them face to face, here, on the plains of Stonegarde.”
His voice grew more confident, as he let the Dungeon Master in him take over.
“But I do know this; though we are strangers to your world, we have seen your virtue and your courage. We know that there is good in this world. A good worth fighting for. A good worth dying for.”
He turned to Alianna.
“And so we are here, with Captain Stormbow, resolved to live or die among you. To fight at your side. And I promise you, while we still draw breath, no enemy shall fall upon the innocent. They shall not pass. Let them come with their hell-bound host. We will stop them! Here and now! In this place!”
They could all feel a tremendous power welling in their chests. The soldiers below began to nod their heads as they listened.
“Perhaps it is true, perhaps the day will come when our strength and courage fails. But not today! This night, we stand together, against the endless sea of wolves and blades, and shout in one voice: not today! And a thousand years hence, when we moulder in the ground, let them say that we few stood against the overwhelming forces of chaos, and told them: not today! And when this battle has ended, we shall meet again, either in the heavens, or here on the field of victory!”
The soldiers burst into victorious shouts, clattering their weapons against their shields. A chant of “not today!” began somewhere below, and swelled as it spread.
“And!” Nate shouted. The chanting slowly died. “Always remember, you are fighting for each other!”
The enthusiasm began to drown in Nate’s flop-sweat.
“Your fellow soldiers, and countrymen. Remember their sacrifices here on the battlefield.”
The eerie silence returned. Nate’s mouth wilted.
“Because, you know, um… When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And… so I guess what I’m trying to say is, be brave, and fight hard. Because if you don’t, then that would be…” he exhaled sharply. “Bad? Because then we’d all die, and I don’t think anyone wants that, right?”
He glanced at his friends, who were wincing.
“Anyway,” he said. “That’s, that’s all I wanted to say. Have… have a good war.”
He stepped back from the rails.
“How’d I do?”
“Well…” Sam said, trailing off.
“You may have lost them there at the end,” Charlie said.
Hag patted Nate on the top of the head. “You’re smart, but not know-when-to-stop-eating smart.”
A deafening crack of thunder rattled their teeth as a rapid series of lightning strikes smashed into the ground at the front of the army of orcs, kicking a cloud of dust and earth and smoke into the air.
The Queen of Storms, Lord of Ash, and Magister of Rot stepped out of the cloud as it dispersed.
At their appearance, the entire army of orcs, goblins, and giants bellowed and howled, ravenous and furious as they slammed their weapons against their roughly hewn shields.
The roar crescendoed and the army charged.
“Fire!” Alianna ordered. Thousands of arrows blotted out the stars, whistling as they sailed through the chill night air. Orcs and goblins collapsed, clutching wounds. They were promptly trampled by their fellow soldiers, who ran at full speed across the battlefield.
Their trebuchets sent enormous stones sailing across the plains, crashing and rolling, crushing any enemy unfortunate enough to be caught in their wake.
One stone smashed into a giant’s knee with a sickening wet thud. The knee buckled in the wrong direction. The giant tumbled and fell, screaming in pain. It crushed several orcs and goblins as it toppled.
The other giants saw this, and stopped short. Turning, they grabbed the stones from the enormous wagons. Nate watched in confusion as a line of goblins, each wearing only a loin cloth, stood in a single file line behind the wagon. Each was handed a lit torch, and as a giants would heft one of the enormous boulders, they waited for a single goblin to clamber atop it.
The giants turned, and hucked the boulder through the air. The goblins clung to it like a mad cowboy clutching a particularly angry stallion. Mid-flight, the goblins touched their torched to the pitch, which burst into flames, consuming goblin and hay alike.
The flaming missiles smashed into the palisades, splintering the wood and scattering soldiers. Shouts and screams were followed by new soldiers, moving to plug the hole, bracing their weapons as the orcs continued their charge.
More arrows were fired. More orcs and goblins fell. The catapults and trebuchets continued their barrage as rapidly as they were able. But the wave of slavering enemies descended upon them like a frenzied tide.
Nate winced as he heard them crash into the trenches. Their armor crunched as it was pierced by the spears and spikes. More orcs and goblins poured over the bodies of their comrades, many still alive and howling in agony as they were trampled.
Torches were tossed into the pits, and fire snaked across the front line as the oil lit. Howls of pain and roars of anger, the crackle of flame and the clash of metal became their soundtrack.
“Left flank, advance!” Alianna shouted. Their wall had been breached in at least five places. Orcs and goblins poured through the cracks in their defenses like mud.
Time and time again, the armies of their battalions would push their attackers back. But the stream of orcs and goblins was relentless. Slowly, their forces were pushed back. The giants, having expended their reserve of flaming goblin grenades, charged forward, oblivious to who they squished, human and orc alike.
Sam cheered as the battalion of Soldiers of the Sun split into three. Each charged and attacked a giant that had crossed the threshold of their bulwark. The giants were clumsy and slow, but strong. They swung their enormous clubs in wide sweeping motions, smashing the tiny humans below to pieces.
Two of the giants were felled quickly as the gleaming white spears cut through tendons on knees and ankles. The third took longer to bring to ground. It shrewdly kept the knights at a distance with wild swings. But, eventually, it too succumbed to their onslaught.
The battle raged for an hour. Nate was no military strategist, but even he could see this was a losing proposition. Their armies fought bravely, but the sheer number of enemies being brought to bear against them… The tide was turning. Their numbers dwindled rapidly.
The palisade sat in shambles. Corpses from both sides created a sort of secondary barrier, providing a small measure of cover as the armies of men fell back, while the enemy stumbled over the dead.
Even in the tower, they could smell the blood and feces and gore. It was unpleasant. The screams of the injured and dying filled the air with a hateful music of misery.
From their position high above the battlefield, they estimated they had lost over half their forces. Alianna continued to bark orders, but hopeless desperation had edged into her voice.
The peal of a silver trumpet cut through the cacophony. Standing atop the crest of the foothill, dressed in ancient white armor that shone brilliantly in the black night, stood Drothgar Ironclad.
“She came,” Alianna said. “I knew she would.”
“Drothgar! Drothgar has come!” the soldiers below began to shout. “We are saved! Drothgar is come!”
Behind her, the armies of Ovedural and Gogratha appeared on the hilltop, their banners fluttering proudly. A roar of joy spread through the army. Those on the front line fought with renewed vigor, pushing their foes back with a ferocity reborn.
The silver trumpet sounded again, and the Drothgar could be seen shouting something to her army, though at this distance, they could not hear what she said. Nate wished he could hear her words of encouragement and take notes for the next time he had to give a rousing speech.
Her shining form rode up and down the front line. Her soldiers broke into occasional roaring cheers at her words.
The army of orcs and goblins split. A third peeled off to the north to receive the charge of this new force. Crude defensive lines gathered at the base of the slope. Four of the giants joined them, each carrying two massive rocks.
The lunatic swarm watched, and waited. One of the giants shouted to another, who shrugged. One held up its finger as the other four prepared to throw. He counted down, and they launched their missiles simultaneously.
“Is that going to?” Sam said quietly. “Doesn’t she see? Uh-oh.”
Drothgar, her back turned to the battlefield below, did not see the massive boulders sailing silently through the starry sky until they crashed down on top of her. The cheers in the army above stopped with the dull thud of the stones smashing to the earth. Her armor flickered and died. Her broken body slid slowly down the steep bluff. Her limbs flopped uselessly as she tumbled and rolled.
Her corpse came to a skidding halt at the base of the hill. The orcs on the front-line stepping back as she came to rest in a pile of rubble and dust.
Sam cleared her throat. “Maybe she’s-”
One of the giants smashed its foot onto her corpse, twisting and grinding her body into a red smear of paste.
Alianna’s jaw tightened. The army atop the foothills charged, bellowing in fury. Their bodies crashed into the orcs and giants below.
The lines broke. The battlefield was pure chaos. Orc and goblin mingled with man, dwarf, and elf, as small skirmishes erupted everywhere. Gone were the clean organized lines and disciplined troops. It was an all-out brawl.
They heard Gri unleash an exuberant war cry as she and the other tower guards joined the fray. It was not long until she was slick with the blood of fallen enemies who fled from her fearsome presence. She disappeared into the chaos in a frenzy of rage and glee.
Screams of panic welled up from the east. They watched in horror as a dozen Archons burst from the ground. The enormous beasts, a tangle of putrid tentacles and claws and arms were just as terrifying as the one they had seen Elred fight. The monstrosities tore through anything in front of them - orc, human; it didn’t matter. They sowed death and destruction.
Alianna pounded her fist on the wooden railing in frustration.
“The Watchers!” one of the generals shouted. From the south, a bellow was heard as a dozen of the giant earthen creatures charged into the battle.
The commanders in the tower fell silent as the Watchers and Archons clashed on the far side of the battlefield. The two paragons of the Aether tore into one another with such ferocity, even the giants fled from their presence.
“I always wanted to see a Kaiju fight,” Sam said in awe. It felt as though the very foundations of the earth might tear asunder.
More trumpets sounded. Another army approached from the southwest.
“Is that… Fequar?” Alianna asked. Her generals appeared equally confused. “It must be - look, they are attacking one of the giants!”
Another army appeared from the foothills, this one clad in black and silver armor, each wearing a ghostly white mask.
“Who are those guys?” Sam asked.
“I do not know,” Alianna said.
The army descended the steep slope, pushing into the flank of the soldiers that had been briefly led by Drothgar. They could hear little over the din of the battle below, the enemy had arrived at the tower. It was unclear if the newest arrivals were ambushing or re-enforcing their northern position.
The earth shook. The ground collapsed to the south. From the blackened pit, an army of Rustborn appeared and charged. They watched in mute horror as the mechanical monstrosities cut into the one position where they had consistently repelled the enemy.
“What should we do?” one of the generals asked.
Alianna drew her spear. There was a fire in her eyes as she surveyed the battle below. “There is nothing more to be done from here.” She turned to the generals. “We join the fight.”
She winked at Sam, then launched herself off the edge of the tower.
She spun gracefully through the air onto the back of a giant, spear first, severing the behemoth’s spine at the base of its neck. It grunted stupidly and fell flat on its face, crushing a contingent of goblins beneath its impressive bulk.
Alianna tumbled into the battle, leaping from enemy to enemy with an unmatched savagery. The Soldiers of the Sun rallied to their commander. As a single unit they cut their way through the chaotic mess.
“Do we… do we do the same thing?” Sam asked as the remaining generals filed out of the tower.
“I don’t know, this is not what I expected war to be like,” Nate said.
“Yeah, it’s way more like Easy A than I expected,” Charlie said.
Nate and Sam both stared, puzzled.
“The two-thousand-and-ten romantic comedy starring Emma Stone?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t seen it,” Charlie added hastily. “But I heard there’s a part in the movie where everyone in their friend group is fighting, and no one knows who is on whose side, and this one girl gets stabbed in the face, but it turns out she was the bad guy the whole time.”
“I haven’t seen it either,” Nate said. “But that doesn’t sound right.”
“Are you sure?”
Nate nodded. “Yeah, it’s like a retelling of the Scarlet Letter, except the girl only pretended to sleep with a bunch of her classmates to help them get bullied less. And then everyone starts treating her awful and shaming her and stuff. Pretty sure there’s no stabbings in it.”
“You saw it, you nerd!”
“Okay, fine, I saw it. It was actually much better than I expected.”
“So did I… It’s like my third favorite movie.”
“Her parents are so funny!”
“I love Stanley Tucci! Totally underrated character actor.”
“Listen, Siskel and Ebert, there’s kind of a war going on,” Sam said.
“Siskel and Ebert?” Charlie said. “If anything we’re Statler and Waldorf, thanks very much.”
“Am I Statler or Waldorf?” Nate asked.
Sam sighed and began to rub her temples.
“Does it matter?” Charlie said.
“Kind of. I’ve never had a nickname before.”
“That’s not true. Everyone used to call you Anne Frank in eighth grade. Even the teachers.”
“Anne Frank?” Sam asked, unable to help herself. “Why Anne Frank?”
“Cause he was always hiding in the bathroom, writing in his diary.”
“It wasn’t a diary. It was a journal. Lots of geniuses keep journals.”
“So do madmen. Like the Unabomber,” Sam said.
“Plus,” Charlie added. “I think once the pages of your journal are tear stained, it becomes - by legal definition - a diary.”
The tower lurched as a giant fell backwards into it. The wooden beams chirred and groaned. It leaned heavily to the left, but then stopped.
Sam stared wide eyed at her friends. “Phew, that was-“
A loud crack, followed by the rapid fire sound of timbers snapping and tearing, interrupted her as the tower teetered.
“Hang on!” she shouted as it tipped. They dove at the last second, crashing into a hoard of soldiers as the tower smashed and splintered on the ground.
They were swallowed by the chaos of battle. Swords and spears were thrust at them from all directions. A rush of soldiers surged over them.
Sam deftly dodged and weaved between attacks. She jabbed with her spear as openings presented themselves. She felt the Aether flow through her, guiding her motions and movements. The sensation was incredible. Every molecule of her body was in sync. Her perception expanded. She could see where the next attack was coming from; anticipate each swinging sword or lunging dagger.
Nate began to cast spells, surrounding himself with bursts of flame. The terrified goblins scrambled to get away as jets of fire and electricity swirled around him. After a few moments, he no longer needed to elude their swords. His enemies were giving him wide berth, shouting curses in some unholy language.
Charlie took a unique approach to the battle. He wore bulky armor and still carried Doctor Professor’s huge shield. His strategy was that of a turtle. Holding his shield tight, he pulled his arms and legs close and waited as the weapons of his enemies clanked uselessly off his heavy mail. Only occasionally would he swing his heavy mace, catching an unlucky goblin or orc in the chest, before retreating to his shell, patiently waiting for another opportunity to safely strike.
To their shock, the three of them quickly laid waste to the enemies that had surrounded them.
“Thank you,” one of the nearby soldiers shouted. He was a tall, muscular man with a bowl cut that could have been the reason hats were invented. He wore the insignia of a lieutenant, though they could not tell from which Kingdom he hailed. He was not a professional soldier. Likely a farmer, judging by his calloused hands and ramshackle armor.
He began barking orders, attempting some semblance of organization as he led his soldiers back into the fray.
“Whew, that was close,” Nate said, wiping the sticky sweat from his neck.
“Uh… Nate?” Charlie asked.
“What?”
“Before the battle, how many ears did you have?”
Nate glanced down at his hand. It wasn’t sweat he had felt dripping down his neck. It was blood. He touched his left ear, and winced. The top half had been cleanly sliced off, leaving only the lobe flapping uselessly.
“Where’d it go?” he said, his voice panicked. He dropped to his knees, and began to run his hands through the grass, shoving dead bodies out of the way.
“You look like Velma in Scooby-Doo,” Sam teased as she stooped to help search.
“At least I won’t have to listen to your sarcasm anymore.”
“Here!” Charlie shouted victoriously, holding up an ear.
“Gimme!” Nate shouted. Charlie handed him the ear. Nate held it up and pressed it to the wound. He sucked in sharply between his teeth as it wobbled and fell several times. Eventually, he got it to loosely stick to the side of his head.
“How does it look?”
“Um…” Sam said. “Yeah, that’s not your ear.”
“What do you mean?”
“That’s… It’s backwards.”
Nate peeled the ear off, and examined it. Sam was right; it was an ear from the right side of someone’s head.
“Ew, gross!” He tossed the ear at Charlie. It stuck to Charlie’s armor with a wet slap. Charlie brushed it off his chest in a panic. It flopped to the ground.
“Guys?” Sam said quietly. A giant was stomping toward them, its enormous belly jiggling as it swung its club, killing indiscriminately.
“Why would you give me some random ear?” Nate shouted.
“I didn’t think there would be more than one loose ear hanging around!”
“You always do this!”
“I always accidentally give you the wrong ear in the middle of a war?”
“Guys?”
“No, you always mess things up, and I’m the one who pays the consequences!”
“Oh, so it’s my fault you got your ear chopped off?”
“Guys!”
“No, but it’s your fault I’m going to be earless for the rest of my life! And this-” Nate pointed to the hold in his head were his ear used to be “isn’t a very good look for me!”
“Oh, sure, blame Charlie for everything. Like you always do. I should have known this would happen. Helen Keller could have seen this coming from a mile away.”
“GUYS!” Sam shouted.
“What?” the both shouted in unison.
“Look out!” Sam shoved them both out of the way as the giant stomped onto the ground, right where they had been standing. It dumbly picked up its foot, expecting to see them squished underneath.
Nate fell flat on his back, and was staring straight up at the giant. In a kilt. “Guys, don’t look up.”
“What? Why?” Sam said as she looked up and caught an eyeful. “I really don’t like the view from down here.”
The giant bent and scooped Charlie up with its free hand.
“Oh no!” Charlie shouted. “I’m doing both kinds of bathroom!”
An orc and a goblin charged Nate and Sam. Sam swung her spear, cutting through both of the creature’s knees, severing its legs.
Nate muttered a few words in the language of the Ancients, and touched the goblin’s forehead. Its face scrunched in anger as its head swelled and popped like an overfilled water balloon.
“Nice,” Sam said. “Giving them the ol’ Gadium treatment.”
“Man, you accidentally blow up one guy, and you never hear the end of it…”
“Now sure would be a great time for Gadium the White to show up,” Sam said loudly. They looked around in hopeful anticipation. As if in answer, two more goblins charged them.
“Uh, guys?” Charlie said. “A little help?” The giant was glaring at him in frustration, its face twisted in effort as it attempted to crush Charlie in its hand. Its cheeks puffed out and spittle flew like an overly aggressive gym-bro trying to open a stuck pickle jar to impress a girl who didn’t like him. Charlie’s armor groaned but held.
Sam swung the blood from her spear. “I’m gonna stab that giant in the throat.”
“Wait!” Nate said as two bolts of electricity shot from his hands, cooking the two nearby goblins. “I want to watch.”
Sam grinned. She charged the giant, who was so focused on crushing Charlie that it didn’t notice her until she slashed its Achilles heel. The giant lurched and swung Charlie like a weapon at Sam.
She deftly dodged out of the way, smirking at Charlie’s terrified expression as he soared past her in the giant’s hand. She slit through the ankle tendon of the other leg. The giant took a step. Both legs buckled. It teetered and collapsed onto its back, dropping both Charlie and its club.
It started to push itself up, but Sam was on it in an instant. She flashed across its round belly, dragging her spear through its thick flesh as she ran. Fat and organs spilled from the wound behind her. The smell was tremendous.
The beast’s howl of pain was cut short as she dove forward and sliced cleanly across the front of its neck. A geyser of blood shot nearly a hundred yards in the air. The creature clapped a hand over its neck.
It tried in vain to prevent its intestines and blood from flooding the battlefield. With a final jerking gurgle, it fell still.
“Wow,” Charlie said as he brushed the dirt from his armor. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
More horns sounded. In the distance, they could see yet another army charging into the fray.
“Who are they?” Nate said.
“I’ve given up trying to understand what is going on,” Sam said as she stabbed another goblin that ran past. “We just need to-”
A jolt of lighting that struck the ground where they stood. They tumbled and skidded across the the blood-soaked battlefield.
The Queen of Storms descended in an angry cloud of smoke and lightning. She landed next to Charlie, who groaned as he tried to roll off his back like an overturned turtle.
Her fury filled the air, her skin glowed a mute blue as a web of black electricity ran beneath the surface.
Nate glanced over at Sam, who was sitting, staring dumbly, her hair burned and smoking. She shook her head, attempting to clear the daze and brain fog.
Nate stood slowly. Every joint in his body told him to stop.
“I should thank you,” the Queen said, as she set her foot on Charlie’s chest. Another jolt of electricity caused Charlie to convulse. “That’s quite close enough, or I’ll cook this lobster in its shell.”
Nate stopped, his hands in the air. “What do you want? Why won’t you leave us alone?”
“Leave you alone? We have left you alone. It was you who summoned the Magister of Rot to your Council. It was you who attacked me on the outskirts of Silvermoore. And it was you who came to confront us at our stronghold in the Bellowing Heights.”
She drew the broken blade, the Heart of Trees, from its scabbard on her back. “Do you not realize we could have killed you at our pleasure?” She touched the scar that ran along her face. “And it would have been a pleasure.”
“Then why haven’t you?” Sam asked, gasping as she stood next to Nate. She was leaning heavily on her spear and clutched her side.
“Because we do not kill without reason.”
“Didn’t you wipe out an entire village just to destroy the heir of Brenius?” Nate said.
“I did not relish their deaths,” she said softly. “They were a necessary sacrifice for the greater good.”
“Ha!” Charlie laughed. “The greater good? Why is it genocidal maniacs always seem to justify the murder of innocent children as something that will be for the greater good?”
The Queen’s mouth pulled tight as she pressed the blade into Charlie’s neck. He winced as it bit into his flesh.
“Listen, Uvesh,” Sam said, watching nervously as Charlie squirmed. “That’s your name, right? Uvesh?”
“That was once my name, yes.”
“You don’t have to do this. It’s the sword, isn’t it?”
The Queen looked down at the shattered black blade in her hand.
Sam stepped forward gently, like she would approach a wounded animal.
“The sword. It’s corrupting you. It’s making you sick. Look around you,” Sam gestured to the battle that raged around them. Blood streamed through the dirt and grass, as if there had been a heavy, cursed rain. “This isn’t who you are. This isn’t what you want. You were once a Soldier of the Sun.”
The Queen studied Sam, her head tilted in curiosity.
“When you stole the blade from the Quorum-“
“My child,” the Queen said, smiling like a mother would speak to a misbehaving toddler. “I did not steal the blade. It was gifted to me.”
“By who?” Nate asked.
“By who? Who do you think? By the Quorum of Trees.”
Sam glanced nervously at Nate.
“You poor children. You truly do not understand. Why do you think the Quorum fell silent all those years ago? Did you truly think that I could steal-”
Spinning faster than their eyes could follow, the Queen’s black blade deflected the rushing spear of Alianna Stormbow. Alianna was tossed backwards by the force of their weapons meeting. She skidded to a halt some fifty feet away.
The Queen of Storms grabbed Charlie by the collar of his armor. “I should thank you, Captain Stormbow,” she hissed. “For you have provided me the perfect sacrifice.”
She launched herself gently into the air. Charlie struggled and kicked against her grip, but she brought the pummel of her sword down behind his ear. Charlie farted and went limp.
“Face me, coward!” Alianna screamed as the Queen of Storms floated high above them, circling like a vulture.
“Not today, my dear friend,” the Queen said. There was another loud trumpet sound, as yet another army arrived, carrying red banners with a white lion emblazoned on it. “I have a ritual to complete, and a virgin to sacrifice.”
She soared off into the distance, heading northwest. Alianna bellowed in frustration.
“We have to save him,” Nate said. “Right?”
“What about your precious first law?” Sam said.
“Screw the first law! I’m tired of letting everyone down. I’m not going to let her kill my best friend.”
“I thought I was your best friend.”
“I- well… I mean, you are. It’s just-“
Sam grabbed him and yanked him roughly toward her. There was a breathless moment, their faces inches from one another.
“This is the part where you kiss the girl you idiot.”
Their lips met. Tentative at first, but then Nate’s fear and anxiety were melted in the hot furnace of desire and passion. They finally broke apart, panting.
“Wow…” Sam said breathlessly.
“Yeah…”
There was a thunderous howl and the rattle of chains as the Lord of Ash descended upon them. A cloud of smoke and soot choked the air as his cloak, always burning yet never consumed, roared behind him.
They reeled back as his maul slammed into the earth between them. He swung his sword, and nearly cut Nate in half.
“The strength of man has failed,” the Lord of Ash said, his voice gravel and flame. “The time of the Children of Kadmon shall pass into shadow. The Age of Chaos begins.”
Alianna appeared in a flash, her spear a blur of spins and thrusts, wrapping around her body so gracefully that the Lord of Ash had trouble keeping up with her attacks.
“Go!” she shouted. “I’ll teach this knave what strength still remains in men. Go save your friend. Stop the ritual.”
Nate whistled and clicked loudly. From the murky haze of smoke, Garthim appeared, Hedorah and Neekerbreeker hot on its heels. He boosted Sam atop Hedorah, and quickly mounted Garthim.
“Are you sure?” Sam said to Alianna, gripping her spear.
Alianna’s spear bounced off the Lord of Ash’s sword, and with a quick flick of her wrist, her blade bit into his arm. He roared, and gripped the blade with his hand, yanking it free and shoving her several feet back.
“Quite sure,” she grinned, her eyes never leaving her enemy. “Now go!”
Nate clicked his tongue, and Garthim sped through the chaos, dodging spears and arrows, swords and shields.
“Wish we could find Gri in this mess,” Nate said as their clackers clambered over a mound of corpses. “If she’s even still alive.”
“Where are we even going?” Sam said as she ducked her head, narrowly avoiding a Rustborn blade.
“No clue,” Nate said.
“I know where they went.” Hag appeared near Nate’s missing ear. “Ooh, that looks painful. Is it painful?” he asked as he poked it.
“Ow! Quit it!” Nate flapped his hand as if attempting to swat a fly.
“Hag, what do you mean you know where they went?” Sam asked.
“I… I mean, I know where the Queen of Storms is taking Charlie.” He looked at Nate in confusion. “Was that not clear? Is she slow or something?”
Nate inhaled deeply through his nose in an attempt to calm his rising temper. “Hag,” he said slowly. “Where are they headed?”
“There is a sacrificial altar to Behalah at the base of the Furnace,” he answered, as if it were the most obvious information in the world and they were idiots for not thinking of it themselves.
“How do you know that?” Sam asked.
“All wisps know about it,” Hag said.
“Uh-huh,” Nate said. “And, why didn’t you mention this earlier?”
“Because you never asked,” Hag said.
Their clackers broke free of the battle. To the east, they could see another army approaching, this one filled with chittering goblins with red skin, fatter and taller than the green variety they had been fighting up to this point.
Nate glanced back at the chaos they were leaving behind.
“I feel like we should warn them, but…” he trailed off.
“Yeah…” Sam said as they watched the anarchic battle rage. “Who would we even tell?”
She whistled, spurring her clacker onward into the glassy desert.
The giant volcano loomed ahead of them, an unhallowed watchman that rumbled and shook the earth as it spewed smoke and ash skyward.