Endless dark.

I float around in circles, perpetually moving through a space with no sound nor light.

I try to feel my legs, my arms, my head, but it seems all there is left of me is thoughts, the construct of reality, a soul without a shell.

To exist in such a reality is torture. A constant, non-physical torment.

If I had lungs perhaps I would scream, if I had arms perhaps I would thrash, but my efforts to express this pain is for naught, as once again I am left floating in the void of reason.

My thoughts float in circles for what feels like an eternity until, as if listening to my cries of despair, a light pops into existence. A distant light, one that feels familiar, yet distinctly unique.

A star.

In all its blazing glory it stares at me, as I stare back, our eyes interlocking, a weird feeling for a person without eyes.

This star is getting bigger and bigger,as it continues to stare at me, as if beckoning me to come.

I find myself questioning, how do I know this is a star? In fact, how do I know? Can I be considered real, if the “me” that is, is just this? Questions are echoed in this desolate void, bouncing off its walls to return back to me with no answer.

As I bounce this question to and fro, the star continues to get bigger, seemingly unperturbed by the sound of thoughts that now fills this void.

It begins to speak to me, which once again sends shivers down my spine. Spine? What’s a spine? I’m not sure but I am sure of what I had just thought.

“Ata tzarikh lakoom, hem baheem, ein lanoo harbe zman!” 

These words fly in between the thoughts I have. Seeming formulaic in their structure, though I cannot ascertain their meaning.

Though now thinking about it, if that is what I’m even doing, pictures are popping into my (head?) at a rapid rate. I look at them and feel a variety of emotions. What are emotions? I’m not sure, though now that I think about it, I am sure.

These emotions appear as flying colors in this monochromic world. Shades of confusion, hints of intrigue, splashes of fear. They encroach upon my incomplete yet peaceful world, threatening the balance of all things. The voice speaks once again.

“Bevakasha! Please! Titorer, For kooleinoo! You need to la’asot et this!”

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The words become legible, transforming in front of me into a swirl of ideas and hopes, the streaks of emotions coloring them too, with shades of urgency, fear, panic. All striking the words with a sense of foundation, a meaning, which once again livens this endless abyss.

I try to decipher these words, a mix of thoughts and feelings and actions, all things that I’m not sure how I have a concept of. Nevertheless I understand them, and with this flash of understanding comes light. Not the coloured light that now fills the room with meaning, but starlight. 

Like a family of stars, they pop in groups, lighting individual spaces of the void with their own, ethereal light. “I wonder what is hap-” I jump at the sound of words, with meaning that fly into the void I’m in, exuded out of from a single point, myself.

These words change colors like a palette, going from curiosity, to panic, to intrigue, to once again, curiosity. “What the hell is happening.” I say. Say? I do indeed say, with my own voice, my own mouth, my own… I have a mouth?

“Are you awake?! They’re coming, you must wake up and flee! For us, for the ki-”

Silence. It echoes with its own shades. Of fear, of longing, of acceptance. These same shades of colors begin to coat me as well. As emotions reignite within my body. Body? I have a body, yes, I start to feel my body.

I try to move my arms, my legs, but again, for naught. 

There’s something there, something moving, flowing through my sea of darkness, disrupting its balance. A foggy feeling overcomes me, as I notice new shades and hues. Traces of fatigue that could be seen beforehand now flood my body in droves. These shades make an almost untraceable wall towards accessing my limbs, a roadblock I cannot bypass.

Hours go by as I try and fail to gain access to my new given body. Hours, yes hours. Time, in all its glory, has arrived within my colorful abyss. Looming over all, it is an unstoppable machine, marching in tandem with all in the known and unknown world I’m in.

Then, without prior warning or feedback, I can feel a twitch. A strange feeling, for someone without a bod- oh wait I do have one. Feels weird to say that. With that, shades of weird pop in and out of the void, as if questioning the weirdness of it all itself.

Moving my attention away from that, I try to focus on the twitching motion that happened earlier. Motion, it is an everlasting concept, for without it, all would cease. That same motion can create life and death with its own two hands, what an insidious killer it is.

Two hands? I have those too. I can feel them, working like a poorly-oiled machine, slowly and creaky, but indeed moving. With them they carry fingers, the all important aspect of grasping. These concepts pop one after another into my soup of colors, mixing and matching with each other wherever they need to fit, as if the universe itself has aligned them according to its needs.

Almost as soon as I start exploring that train of thought, it is cut off by some other feeling. Something heavy, which sets upon my eyes. Eyes, eyes! Yes, eyes, I can control my eyes, if even barely. I put all my effort into attempting to open them, as vibrant shades of hope fly through my void, lighting up all that is still dark.

I try, and try, pushing further along the edges of my eyelids. Suddenly, as I’m about to give in, new shades pop up inside my colorful abyss. A fog circumscribes my void, creating massive holes of a new, blurry shade. This shade doesn’t feel the same as the others. It doesn’t not feel alive, nor fluid, but rather, it is overflowing with a sense of realism.

This abyss I've been staying in feels distant now, as if a figure of the past, growing further and further away as I slowly gain control of my body once more.

Just then, my efforts finally pay off, as the fog I watched the world through turns clearer and clearer, and my eyes open onto a scene of what can only be described as a bloodbath.