Roy

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You said something earlier I want to talk about... When you were talking to Verdandi

What's up? I said through the mental bond in order not to disturb Verdandi from his thoughts.

You said I had a strong personality from the beginning. I thought back through... the beginning. I don't think that's true.

She sounded sad in that one. My mind started racing back to when we first met. What was she like. She had to have a bit of personality.

I don't think I did. I had a task and I pushed you towards it, but I wasn't.. Me... yet. I was just a tool like Verdandi said.

She was really sad now. Gotta jump on this one now.

"Hey, whatever you are worried about you absolutely are a person now. You were just made different as a dungeon. Special, not like the others."

That's not true. When you leave, when you give orders instead of suggestions... I feel ME going away. Which means I'm not real

"I guess kids and drunks aren't real either. Lots of people aren't all there all the time and they're still people." I said to the panicked dungeon

"I am having trouble following this conversation with only one side." Verdandi said from the back, apparently I had distracted him from the view

"You gave Nola an existential crisis, thanks for that, and now we are working through it." I said back to him flatly. He responded intelligently by siting back and shutting up.

"Are you worried I am going to start treating you like a tool?" I asked to Nola

Not really

"Great. Are you planning to go all skynet on me?" I asked again, knowing the answer

No. Where's the fun in that.

"There's nothing to worry about then. We are going to continue to work together. And you get to keep being you"

You can kill me with a thought.

"Yeah. Welcome to mortality. Tyler walks around with at least 3 guns at all times. Verdandi can probably rip my head off one handed. Dave and Kathy are less dangerous, but I bet they could hit me with his car. We're all dangerous to each other. But we all trust each other. All thinking creatures have to.

Tyler doesn't trust anyone. Dave is scared of us. Verdandi doesn't have a choice because he is trapped on this world and would not be welcome on the outside.

"Ok, maybe trust is too strong a choice of words for everyone. But you can trust me. You can see what I am thinking, am I lying?" I asked

No.

"Making progress then. It doesn't matter if you weren't a person before. You are a person now, right Verdandi?" I asked to our nervous listener

"...Yes." He said hesitantly. Thanks for the help there.

But how am I supposed to deal with..

"I am 3 pounds of fatty bacon running on less power than a lightbulb. There's tens of thousands of pages of philosophy written on dealing with this kind of question. And I have read none of them. I can get you a few books as soon as we get back if you are interested. If not you can go and do the human thing."

What's the 'human thing'

"Just don't think about it and watch some tv. It's easier" I said. Darn it, now I'm having an existential crisis. I'm gonna have to read those books too, and I hate reading.

I didn't get words back, or sound. But it felt a lot like laughter. Ha. I knew I was funny. I can land a joke occasionally.

Rarely. Don't start thinking in puns again because I laughed once

"Nah. You pulled the pin on this grenade. We're in too deep now." I said jokingly.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Nola responded by putting a large speed bump in front of the car. I hit it and lost control briefly before I fishtailed on the dirt road. I got control quickly and slowed to a stop.

"Ok. That's not cool" I said as Verdandi buckled himself in in the back seat.

One bad joke deserves another

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to go skynet on me? Like less than five minutes ago even." I said. I'm not going to encourage that kind of joke.

You aren't in danger in my domain. I could have slowed the car or stopped it gently if you hadn't gotten control.

"Yeah, but you could have damaged the car... that you made in the first place and will almost certainly be recycling when we get home. Ok, so there is that. But still. Please don't. You are scaring Verdandi." And me

Had to get him back for forcing both of to engage in introspection. There should be laws against that sort of thing.

I laughed at that. Maybe when we rule the world we can write a few.

Sounds good to me. I'm holding you to it

"No, that was a joke. We aren't doing that. Nola. I need you to confirm you understand that"

....fine.

After checking that Verdandi was good to continue I took my foot of the break and started heading down the road again.

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We drove for another few minutes before reaching the highway, just in time to see the first flurries of snow start to fall. This is the first snow of the year. Bit early, but it is nice to see it back again.

I wish you could stop driving and see what I see with the snow. I think you could learn from it

"Describe it to me. I'll relay it to Verdandi see if he has anything to add." I said out loud to get his attention.

The snow is strange as it falls on the road. I can't absorb it to make energy, no matter what I try. It is foreign matter like the ground I haven't claimed around the dungeon. Like the rock you lifted for me while you were hiding from Cole.

"Ok, so the stuff falling out of the sky isn't worth much. Makes sense, we knew that about the ground around you already. Why does this seem different to you?" I said after relaying the first part to Verdandi.

This is why I wish you could see it. The snow starts to have energy after delvers interact with it. Just a little bit at first, but as they hit it more and more, and change it.. It starts to taste like the trash.

"The tribute requested by the allied cores is never natural. Usually they request complex labors by many artisans. If the action of our auras leaves a mark on the matter...." Verdandi started

"And more action leaves a bigger and bigger energy foot print..."

"Then the matter itself is less important than the auras acting on that matter to change it." He made a stunned face that I could see in the rear view mirror. "That means garbage actually is decent dungeon food." Ha. your turn for the existential crisis buddy.

"That doesn't change the plan much, but I guess we can't cheat by having you drink a few million gallons of sea water once you reach California."

I don't think it would do any more than the snow is doing for me, but I would still like to try. Besides, de salination could be worthwhile as a service to offer

"We have to make legitimate money somehow. That plan works as well as any." I said back.

I can't wait to get home. I want to see what this looks like first hand, but expanding my mind while driving seems like a good way to rear end someone.

Only 30 or so more miles to go before we make it in. It will still be snowing then. Probably

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It was not still snowing. The flurries stopped shortly before we arrived at the gates. I will have to wait till the next time it rains or snows to see it myself. Curse our perpetually sunny state.

And that lead to a different and unrelated problem.

There was a long line of cars and people waiting to get in to our processing center.

There was no way I could sneak Verdandi back to his shed.

But, we didn't have to anymore.

Nola was much bigger now. Big enough for me to go home.

"Nola?"

I haven't taken the house yet, but I have the energy for it.

"Do it. We'll get Verdandi there and he can sleep somewhere nicer than a shed for today.

"Where are we going?" Verdandi asked from the back

"My place. I'm having Nola incorporate it." I said

"It will be interesting to see how the future lord of the world lives" Verdandi said with a smirk, knowing he was pushing my buttons.

"When we get there I will need a phone to call the others and let them know why I didn't come back." I said, avoiding the taunt

It will be waiting for you in the kitchen. This place is a mess. You need a maid. Some monster put a hole in your wall

Ha ha Nola. You broke the wall first day we started working together.

Yeah, but the rest of this mess is on you. I wasn't kidding about the maid. Should I clean up?

Sure. Surprise me.

I knew I was going to regret that as soon as I thought it