“Good morning, Sir,” Gamma 37 said as he tried to wake up Josef. The soma from the night before hit Josef harder than he had expected. He had no awareness of Gamma 37 undressing him and putting him into bed. Josef was not able to eat his dinner last night, so he was starving for his breakfast rations.
“Am I running late?” Josef asked getting out of bed feeling fully rested and at peace.
“No, Sir,” Gamma 37 said. “You are on schedule to arrive at your usual 15 minutes before work reporting. My sincerest apologies for waking you late yesterday.”
“It’s fine,” Josef stretched. “No, it’s not fine, but all is forgotten.”
“Again, my apologies, Sir,” Gamma 37 said as he stood at the foot of the bed looking down at the floor. The disappointed looked on Gamma 37’s face indicated to Josef that his apologies were sincere. Gamma 37 was clearly regretful for his lapse in duty yesterday.
“Let’s not let it happen again,” Josef stated looking at Gamma 37. Josef started to feel a touch of pity for this creature. He could not understand what was going through Gamma 37’s mind. Josef wondered if Gammas were capable of feelings such as regret, disappointment, and shame. He had Gamma subjects in his research of yearning, but all those subjects were infatuated with material objects such as their own living quarters and nicer clothes. None of them desired to be Alphas. None of them showed signs of any Alpha emotions like love, existential crisis, or disillusionment. Josef wondered if Gammas could grasp such higher concepts. Something in the way Gamma 37 carried himself this morning gave Josef doubt about the simplicity of clones. He had a sense that there was more under the surface—at least for Gamma 37.
“Are you upset with me, Sir?” Gamma 37 asked still looking at the floor. Josef did a double take at the odd question. Gammas were never concerned about how their Alphas felt about them. Josef assumed a more appropriate question for Gamma 37 to ask was if he was going to be reported. Was it possible for a Gamma to feel emotions?
“No, I’m not upset with you, nor will I report this incident,” Josef replied keeping a suspicious eye on Gamma 37.
“Thank you, Sir,” Gamma 37 said and met Josef’s eyes. Gamma 37’s expression instantly changed to his usual pleasant expression. His green eyes sparkled in the sunlight.
Josef felt slight uneasy at the lucidity of Gamma 37’s attitude this morning. He had never noticed Gamma 37’s higher level cognition before. He was not sure if it had been present all along or if something occurred overnight in him. It felt as if he were interacting with another Alpha or, at least, a Beta.
Josef snapped out of his thought. “I’m ready for breakfast.”
“Yes, Sir,” Gamma 37 replied and cheerfully went into the work quarters to retrieve Josef’s breakfast. Josef went over to the table and awaited Gamma 37. The skyline view from his window was magnificent today. There was not a cloud in the sky. The sun peaked through the buildings of New York.
Gamma 37 entered the living quarters and placed the plate of diary and fruit rations on the table. Josef took a seat and allowed Gamma 37 to place the napkin in his lap. Gamma 37 stood off by the bed while Josef ate his breakfast and looked over his daily itinerary. He had work from 8 AM to 5 PM and the social event with Fran from 7 PM until at least 10 PM. That would include any sanctioned sexual activities. It was likely that he and Fran would leave at 9 PM to engage. Since Fran asked him to the social event, it was almost certain that he would leave with her. As he ate his breakfast, a sense of dread began to overcome him. He began to obsess over whether he would be able to perform for Fran tonight. He could certainly request performance enhancing drugs; however, such requests required counselor approval. Sexual dysfunction was an indication of discontentment which always warranted psychological and physiological investigation.
It's not that he had any physiological issues to prevent performance. He had desires and was able to gain erections. He just found it difficult to desire any Alpha or Beta women in his social circle. The last encounter he had was unsuccessful. The Beta woman that he tried with was Greta Londer which was 4 weeks ago. Even with her attempts, he had to feign extreme fatigue and bow out of the encounter. Since then, he entered an anxiety loop that prevented him from wanting to try again. While sexual promiscuity was not State mandated, social expectations frowned upon isolation.
As he sat eating his breakfast, he began to get nervous at the thought of performing sexually with Fran. He would have to think of something that would get him aroused enough to go through with tonight. Perhaps, he could sneak in a viewing of an erotic feely on his way to pick up Fran. The feelies always made Josef lose himself. He enjoyed the sight, sound, and other sensations that these motion pictures presented. Advancements in virtual reality allowed Josef to get lost in the experience.
“Shall I get you cleaned and dressed for work, Sir,” Gamma 37 said almost startling Josef.
“Oh yes, I’m done with breakfast,” Josef said and got up from the table. Gamma 37 undressed and scrubbed him. Josef was ready for work with plenty of time to spare today.
Josef arrived at work with 10 minutes to spare. Today he was not in a rush, so he showed no signs of exhaustion. Bernard was at his desk reviewing some of the data from yesterday. He looked up at Josef and smiled.
“Good morning, Josef,” Bernard said and flashed Josef a wide smile. Josef stood at the door not knowing what to say. He was a little struck by how Bernard’s eyes sparkled under the lights and by the way his perfect white smile glistened. Bernard was looking particularly handsome today. He had a freshly pressed shirt which clung to his muscular physique. His blond hair was slicked back but one lock fell over his eye. Bernard raised his chiseled forearm to run the lock back with the rest of his hair. A tingle surged through Josef’s body as he stared at Bernard. Bernard wrinkled his eyebrow. “Are you feeling alright?”
Josef shook himself out of his stupor. “Yes, yes, I’m fine.”
“Good,” Bernard replied. “We’ve got lots of data to comb through today.”
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Josef walked over to his notebooks. “We certainly do.”
“Are you going to the social event tonight?” Bernard asked.
Josef opened one of his notebooks of equations and made a mark on the page. “I am.”
“Are you going alone or with someone?” Bernard looked over at Josef. Josef caught his glance.
“I am going with someone,” Josef replied.
“So!” Bernard exclaimed. “You’ve finally joined society!”
Josef gave a nervous laugh. “I suppose so,” he replied and kept looking at Bernard. Bernard had resumed his data review unaware that Josef was observing his movements closely. Josef stared at Bernard—ogling the way he scanned the pages of data. Bernard’s hair fell and hung over his forehead. Josef had a strong compulsion to go over to Bernard and run his hands through Bernard’s perfectly groomed hair. What had suddenly come over Josef this morning? Yesterday, he thought Bernard was a brute, today he could not keep his eyes off his fit coworker. Bernard looked up catching Josef by surprise.
“Who’s the lucky girl?” Bernard asked with a pleasant smile on his face.
Josef cleared his throat. “Fran Lenin.”
“Oh, yeah!” Bernard replied. “From Inoculations. I’ve heard just how pneumatic she can be!” Bernard laughed but Josef remained serious.
“Please don’t say that,” Josef replied and looked down at his equations.
“Pardon me!” Bernard said and went back to his data. Josef looked over at Bernard. Even though Bernard could say the crudest things, Josef still found it irresistible to watch his every move. The more he watched Bernard, the more Josef was enraptured with him. Bernard’s top left little to the imagination of what was underneath. Josef felt himself wanting to know how muscular Bernard was. He had an overwhelming desire to run his hands over his bulging pecs and biceps. Bernard felt Josef’s gaze and looked up at him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
Josef swallowed hard and exhaled silently. “Do you remember when we were teenagers going through social conditioning?” Bernard looked off complying with Josef’s request.
“Ah, yes,” Bernard reminisced. “When we were taught everything we needed to know about everything.”
“Right,” Josef replied. Josef never minded the social conditioning classes where they learned how conduct themselves as Alphas in this world. Sexual relations were forbidden aside from self-exploration and relations with the same gender. Such exploits were not encouraged but were tolerated. What was not tolerated was sexual relations with the opposite sex. Children of that age did not know how society expected strict birth control measures to be followed.
“Why do you ask?” Bernard put a mark on his page and looked at Josef.
“Did you ever engage in relations with any of your male peers?” Josef asked nervously.
“Of course I did, didn’t you?” Bernard replied without thought.
“Yes,” Josef replied. In fact, Josef had engaged in homosexual pursuits frequently. He unofficially had an ongoing relationship with a boy a year younger than he.
“What brought this on?” Bernard asked giving Josef a cautious side look.
“I sometimes wish I could have that again. It seemed so carefree. No one had any expectations,” Josef said wistfully.
“I’m not following you,” Bernard replied.
“We are expected to pair with as many females as possible as adults. If we have relations too long with one partner, people begin to talk. That was never the case in social conditioning,” Josef said.
“Yes,” Bernard replied. “But that was stuff we did as children. We are adults now. We must maintain stability and do what is expected of us.”
“I know,” Josef said. “I just sometimes wish I could go back to those carefree days.”
“Now, you are being a Bernard,” Bernard laughed. “Any more of this talk and I’ll have to report you. You are yearning too much.”
“I’m sorry,” Josef said and blushed. “Are you ever curious about relations with another man as an adult?”
Bernard gave a look of confusion and then laughed. “By Ford, no! I’m not a child.”
Josef looked down. “No, you are not.” Josef went back to his equations. It was not a wise idea to continue this line of conversation. It was clear to Josef that Bernard would not be interested in such pursuits.
Fran was patiently waited by her door for Josef at 7PM. Josef had just left from watching an erotic feely. Virtually experiencing another couple engage in sexual activity had the anticipated effect Josef wanted. During the entire feely, he paid no attention to the female in the story. He was only focused on the actions of the male. If he could recall the male, he would be able to get through the social event.
He knocked on the door. Fran’s Gamma opened the door, but Fran was right behind her Gamma.
“Hello, Josef,” Fran said. She was wearing a gray body suit that accentuated her svelte figure. Variations in wardrobe were allowed for social events; however, one always had to wear the color of their group. Josef had not changed and was wearing his mandated gray outfit. “You didn’t dress up?”
“No, I was running late from work and did not have time to change,” Josef replied. He was not lying. He went to the feely immediately after work and stayed for almost two hours getting in the mindset.
“Such dedication to the State!” Fran replied. “Shall we?”
Fran and Josef rode the elevator down to the first floor where the social event was to be held. Inside, the room was packed with Alphas in search of a mate. Everyone was flirting with everyone in the room. Josef was shocked to see so much exposed cleavage—so many bare legs. He had not been to a social in ages and forgot how much of an exhibition these events were.
“Would you like a soma cocktail?” Josef asked. He was not being polite to his date. He needed a little anxiety blurring himself.
“Yes please,” Fran said and unhooked herself from Josef’s arm. Josef went over to the bar and order two cocktails. The bartender, who was likely an unassigned Gamma, poured two blue cocktails from a large pitcher. Josef went over to Fran and gave her the cocktail. He quickly consumed his drink. Fran had been talking with another Alpha male.
“Josef, have you met Thomas Golden? He works with me in Inoculations,” Fran pointed to Thomas. Thomas was a tall, heavy boned man with dark hair and dark eyes.
“Pleased to meet you. I’m Josef Crowne. I’m in the Psychology Bureau,” Josef extended his hand for a shake.
“Ah, what are you working on there?” Thomas asked.
“I’m researching anti-social behaviors,” Josef responded.
“Fascinating!” Thomas exclaimed. “And so noble of you.”
Josef smiled and looked around the room at the parade of mating rituals among the Alphas. Hands laid upon thighs. Women laughing at jokes. Men eyeing bosoms. It was beginning to get to Josef, so he finished the rest of his cocktail and awaited the effects of the soma. The conversations blurred into a steady droning. From across the room, he spotted Bernard engaging in conversation with a redheaded Alpha woman wearing a low-cut gray blouse and a matching gray skirt with a slit on the side. His hand was on her bare thigh. Bernard looked over and saw Josef watching him. Bernard raised his hand to wave and gave him a wink. Josef looked back over at Fran and Thomas. Even though the soma was starting to dull his anxiety, Josef wanted to escape the event. The display of flesh, the overt sexuality, and the noise were beginning to overstimulate him.
“Is this too much for you?” Fran whispered to Josef. Josef snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at Fran. She had a concerned look on her face. “You haven’t been to one of these in a while, have you?”
“No, I haven’t,” Josef said and laughed nervously.
“Would you like to leave with me?” Fran said giving him a sly grin.
“We just got here,” Josef said.
“I don’t care about socializing. I’ve already decided I’m leaving with you,” Fran said.
“That would be nice,” Josef said. Fran took his hand and led him to the elevator. Josef looked back and saw Bernard giving him a look of approval.
They reached Fran’s apartment as the soma started to peak. Josef was feeling at ease. He started to think about the male in the feely and felt himself get aroused. He was ready for Fran although he thought about Bernard engaging in sexual relations with his peers during social conditioning the entire time he was with Fran.