I flick the burner on, watching closely to see if bubbles form. It's too soon for the water to start agitating, but there is a method to this madness. No bubbles. I turn the burner off.
On.
Off.
On.
Off.
On.
Cooking Skill Increased In Level!
Something happens.
The bubbles drift slowly to the surface while the noodles sway slightly under some invisible force. The water swirls slowly in the pot, dragging the wooden spoon behind it. I know I'm responsible for this, but it's not my hand that stirs the pot.
I'm sure it's bad for the stove to be abused quite like that, but for perfect noodles, it's worth it. I turn back to the computer until I feel a slight tug pulling me back to the stove. The noodles are done. It's easier to go with the flow than to force 'it' to do all the work itself. Grabbing a few spices without looking, the noodles make their way into a buttery, peppery, spicy mess.
It's delicious.
* * *
It had been a month since the blue boxes showed up. A box telling me I was less charming than I thought I was. A box telling me to do the things I was already going to do. There were little rewards for doing what the boxes said. They called it experience, but I don't think it was the kind of experience that builds character...let's just call it EXP. A little bonus for getting to class on time and doing other miscellaneous chores. Most of the boxes revolved around EXP, whether to build "levels" or "skills." This whole experience was bizarre, but there were urban legends about people with strange things happening to them, or people around them. I was beginning to think they were less urban legends and more rumors of things supposed to be secret. If this type of thing wasn't supposed to be secret then everyone would know. There would be wikis and articles and pictures. And there aren't. Trust me. I've looked. A lot. Frankly, that's most of what I've been doing these past few weeks.
There is one thing that makes me think I'm not crazy. The requests...well, the boxes call them Quests...give rewards besides EXP. Not every quest, or even most of them. I've gotten some strange but useful items. A year-long bus pass for successfully acing a test. Some shoes that fit *perfectly* and were already broken in for making it early to every appointment for two weeks. And the thing that makes me think I might not be crazy after all. Money. Almost every quest offers money. Real, honest to goodness dollars. I deposited some money into the bank and slipped one bill from a quest into the stack and nobody called me on it. The serial numbers aren't sequential, the money looks fairly fresh, but not brand new. The bills are utterly unremarkable. And if there is anything people in this world are serious about, it's money.
Depositing my quest-given money and spending it with my debit card is the only thing that's kept me from trying to check into a psychiatric ward. These blue boxes were clearly not visible to anyone else. I know this because they would pop up in class telling me I was getting more intelligent. They would pop up when I was chatting with friends telling me I was getting more charismatic. Workouts gave me strength, vitality, and agility. Typing of all things gave me dexterity. I was getting better, faster, smarter, stronger. Not much wiser though. I'm not sure what to do about that, which may be a symptom. These 'stats' are how my boxes quantified my base physical abilities. Beyond stats were skills. Everything seemed to be a skill. Different types of movement(running, walking, jogging), things you learn in school(physics, math, biology, chemistry), things you do at home(cooking, cleaning), and miscellaneous things just picked up everywhere. Everything I knew was quantified, cataloged, and measured. Even the things I didn't know I knew.
General Knowledge - Occult - Level 2 (17%)
As you have seen above, one of the things my cooking skill gives me is a flat percentage chance to cook a perfect meal. My balance skill also gives me a flat chance to recover from a fall. Experience with nearly tripping over my own feet told me that I did not have to put effort into recovering from my balance, but it did make it easier. My body tells me the optimal way to catch myself from a fall. It tells me the exact moment to take those cookies out of the oven. But I won't have any damn boxes telling me what to do. My willpower is strong. Which is how I found out the perfect meal happens whether I cook it or not. I only need to 'start' the meal prep, and if it is perfect, then I cannot stop it from being perfect.
Trying to fight some of my skills went very strangely. I tried holding the oven door closed, trying to keep cookies in, even when my mind insisted it was time to take them out. After my blue boxes and I fought that battle, I had found out the cookies and the cookie pan had been fighting from the inside as well. It turns out, the perfect cookie can not only battle it's way out of the oven, but won't deform or burn even if you trap them in there an extra 20 minutes at full heat.
This was perfect for my plans, as it was something tangible I could use to show the effect of the boxes. I was going to cook the perfect turkey for Thanksgiving. Right after I finish these delicious noodles.
***
I had convinced my parents to let me cook this year as my way of pitching in, since I was supposed to be flat broke doing the poor college student thing. Well, that wasn't too far off the mark, but the extra income from the quests was going a long way, not to mention the savings on food once I started turning pretty much anything I touched to gold.
It was our year to host the Bennetts, our longtime neighbors. Their daughter Jessie and I grew up going to school together. We even went to the same college now, only about 15 minutes from home. I hadn't seen her around much since school started, so hopefully, we could catch up if my little experiment didn't go too badly.
I woke up in my old room, hearing people rustling around in the house. Frank and Laura Webb, my parents, married 23 years, all of it in this house. There wasn't a clock because I had dragged it to my dorm, but the sun didn't look like it had been up too long. I'm not usually the type to oversleep either. Ok, here we go. First, coffee.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
I rustle myself downstairs where mom and dad are nursing their own cups and reading the news or whatever old people do on computers and tablets before they break them. I sneak in and grab a cup.
Mom notices me. "Morning Jack."
"Good morning Mom, Dad."
"Morning." Dad's not a morning person.
"You know you don't have to cook all by yourself dear. It's a big job for only one person."
"So what you are saying is, Dad should have been helping out a lot more these past years?"
Dad's eyes narrow and he gives me the stink eye for a moment before switching to his patented grin. "I couldn't possibly. Your mother is so capable I'd only get in the way."
"Jack is barely a quarter year into college and he's taking on the whole thing himself. Are you less capable than your son?" Mom is getting snarky now. Better watch out dad.
"Well I wouldn't say less capable, but talented in other areas." Just enough innuendo to put a stop to the conversation. Great job dad. "I would say that Jack insisting on doing the whole thing himself is a little odd. You have been acting a bit strange this past month. You know you can tell us anything right?"
Great. With that opening, I have no excuse not to tell them. "I am a superhero."
"Ok smart guy, I won't bug you anymore. Just don't screw it up too badly. It would be a shame if you burned Jessie's Thanksgiving dinner your first year as an adult." Thanks, dad. No pressure.
"Leave off Frank, if it's meant to be then I'll be the one to push them together."
"As you wish dear."
I sigh. It's definitely two against one this morning. But it's comfortable being home.
I retaliate by starting to drag things out of the fridge and cupboards, accidentally taking up all the space with pots and pans all over the kitchen, slowly edging them off the table and out the door into the living room.
"We get the message, no teasing today. Off we go Laura."
I give them a smirk. "Dinner at two."
Now. Time to roll up my sleeves and get to work. No sense in making a perfect meal if it isn't done on time. I organize everything in the order it needs to be started. There isn't quite enough room to lay out everything, but that is all part of the plan.
After the stuffing is done, the turkey needs to go in. Thankfully the oven is roomy enough for the oversized bird. Not that it would have mattered. My cooking skill kicked in after several aborted attempts at making the stuffing. From experience, I would have expected it to shrink, or enlarge the oven, or smoosh itself inside and still come out perfectly. Now I'm mostly on autopilot, apparently, my skill considers this whole mess one big meal. Autopilot is a little more proactive than me, and doesn't really tire, so I let the potatoes and carrots peel themselves while I take a break.
It's about noon when the doorbell rings, I quickly get up and pretend to be doing hard work again.
"The Bennets are here!" dad unnecessarily calls out to me.
I bring out the vegetable platter I finished preparing just a moment ago. Everyone is hugging and greeting so I set it down where everyone will be able to reach. I join in giving everyone a hug and ask Jessie, "Hey, where've you been stranger? I haven't seen you since school started."
She gives a strange smile I can't decipher. "Busy. You know how different the workload is now."
"But you don't call? You don't write?"
"Cute. But I really have been busy. I took up a part time job in an engineering firm."
"I can't imagine having the time to do more than study."
"You have to make the time. I still intend to pull down good grades, but the experience counts for more."
She waits a beat and grins. "I'm working for LucidTech."
"Gaming in your sleep?!" I had heard a lot about this company. It was common gossip on campus that people would be able to play with virtual reality and get the same rest as sleeping at the same time. A college student's dream. Literally.
"Well, I can't talk about it too much, but there was some press about an upcoming release." She has that 'I know something you don't know' look. "But I really can't tell you, I had to sign a non-disclosure just to get the job."
"Well, maybe you could hook me up with an employee discount if the mysterious product turns out well."
"Maybe. Where's the food? I heard you are cooking single handed today?"
"Snack plate here, the rest is cooking or waiting to start. All under control." I hope.
Everyone gets comfortable while I scurry back off to the kitchen. Not too long now.
* * *
It's 1:55pm. The table is set. Most of the side dishes are already out there. People are passing food around and waiting for the turkey unveiling. Strangely, the platter, the only dish large enough to hold a turkey is already on the table.
I've tested this before. A 'perfect' meal goes onto a dish, it doesn't just sit around in the pot. I know with certainty that either the dish will go to the turkey, or the turkey will go to the dish. And I have a plan.
I bring out the cranberry jelly, the last of the sides, and sit down. Everyone is still passing around sides and it isn't until everyone has nearly everything that dad looks at me and asks, "Where's the turkey?"
I can feel it's almost time. If I were to do things the normal way, I'd need to rush out and pull it out already. By not getting up, I pass the point of no return.
"Mom, Dad, remember this morning when I said I was a superhero?"
Everyone is looking at me. We are all family here. I can do this. Meanwhile, the platter slides ever so slightly in the direction of the kitchen. I think only I notice.
"I've been seeing these screens pop up telling me to do things like quests. Money comes out of nowhere and the bank just accepts it. I've been getting measurably faster and stronger in single workout sessions. I think I am a superhero."
There is a pause. Different expressions flash over the faces around the table. Mostly I just see concern. I stare at the turkey platter. It starts to vibrate.
I can feel the turkey is done. I can feel the path to taking the platter to the kitchen. I reject that path. The platter slightly lifts into the air and I leap up slamming it back down.
Everyone pushes back from the table looking shocked. I doubt they saw the platter rise. They just see me acting more than a little crazy.
Dad steps forward to take charge. "Jack, why don't you and I go talk in the living..." There is a loud bang in the kitchen. The oven must have opened itself. Everyone's attention is focused on the door to the kitchen now.
I'm holding down the platter with all my weight when the turkey comes flying through the door making a beeline to the only place it can go. It looks perfect. It lands gently and no one speaks.
Advanced Skill 'Gaming The System' Unlocked!
Advanced Skill Unlocked, Tutorial Ends
New Features Unlocked! Think Or Say 'Menu" To Access New Features!
Everyone looks to be in a bit of shock. Except Jessie. She's the only one looking at me and not the turkey. And she looks distinctly unhappy.
Quest Alert!
Salvage The Situation
Time Limit: 10 Hours
Difficulty: Low
You have broken the secrecy laws enforced by the Hidden World. Find a way to keep your secret from spreading.
Reward: 1,000 EXP, $1,000, Unlock Inventory
Failure: Become Hunted, Possible Death of Loved Ones
I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe I should have thought this through more.
Wisdom +1