All the leaves on the floor had mulched together in clumps. Bobby and Todd trekked towards the beach. Screams and explosions could be heard from the forest. Dark heads flew out from the trees.

Todd drew back. "Was that a human head?"

Bobby shrugged. "It's too far to tell."

"I hope those are the robots' heads."

"Are you scared?"

"No!" Todd's quivering arms painted another picture.

"You're shaking like a leaf."

He gasped. "Are you calling me a liar?"

"No, but I'm only going to say this: you've never been good at lying."

Todd shrugged his shoulders, crunching into an apple. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

Bobby rubbed his cheek. "Careful! You're spitting apples on me."

"I'm sorry about that."

Bobby opened his bag. All the supplies were there just as Sia promised. He pulled the items out and placed them into the sand. He couldn't see his weapon.

Todd mimicked his movements. "I'd laugh if you got a dildo."

"Is that really possible?"

"It's happened before. There's been times when someone got a razor, a frying pan, knitting wool and a tennis racket."

"Seems like you're quite a big fan of this show."

Todd bumped his shoulder against Bobby. Swerving his head as he peeped through Bobby's bag. "It just happens to be on when I watch telly in November."

Bobby tilted his head, dragging a wooden handle out of his bag. "You were praising the lesbian content of the show at the airport." Picking the handle up strained his arms when he attempted to lift the weapon. Holding the weapon in his hands made Bobby feel stronger. Despite trembling hands and painful joints, he kept a firm grip. "No wonder my bag felt heavy."

"That's a big sledgehammer."

"So, what's your weapon?"

Todd knocked at the bottom of his bag. "It sounds plastic and hollow."

"Is it what I think it is?"

"Better not be."

"Now I want to see."

Todd took out a pink dildo covered in purple glittery hearts. His face turned white as if he was holding a monster. The dildo slipped back into the bag. "That's just wrong!"

Bobby howled in laughter.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

"Why are you laughing, Bobby?"

"You brought that onto yourself."

Todd was silent for once. His eyes drawn towards the sledgehammer. "Can we swap weapons?"

"I'm a priest!" Bobby gasped. "I don't need a dildo."

"What do you suggest I do with that stupid pink disco stick then?" Todd got it out of his bag, ready to throw into the sea.

Bobby gripped his wrists. "Don't do that, you'll pollute the ocean."

"I don't give a damn about the environment right now."

"You should appreciate the gifts that God made for you."

"Shut up!" Todd pinned Bobby onto the floor. "You know I don't believe in that religious crap."

"I'm sorry about that."

"So, you should be."

"But you know I'm not changing my faith for you."

Todd rolled over on the sand. Gazing into the night sky, he had a thought as he rolled back over to Bobby. "You know if it wasn't for your religion, we could have been a whole lot more you know?"

Bobby Fishman was drop-dead gorgeous, Todd thought to himself. He had to sweat at the gym 12 hours a week to maintain his physique, whilst his friend didn't go to the gym and still look good. Bobby was wasted as a priest. He could have had all the girls on his feet.

"We don't need anything else, I'm quite happy with how things are at the moment." Things were the way they were for a reason. Many times, Bobby wondered why God would let such horrible things happen. It took him years of sleepless nights to figure it out. Bobby's tutor, Father District had told him once that God threw tests on his children because he knew they could endure it. Perhaps it was the way he worded it, but now Bobby could say he could understand. "Life has been almost perfect these past few months."

"Almost perfect?" Todd said. "My sister reckons we're dating, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she thinks it's weird that we're living together and never apart."

"Is friendship a crime nowadays?"

"Seems to be."

"There's no sign of any robots on this beach. Can you see any, Todd?"

He shook his head. "I can see plenty of seagulls around here though."

"We're not animal hunting."

"Try not to jinx it. I wouldn't mind a nice, relaxing evening on the beach."

"You do a pretty good job jinxing yourself. Not even money can buy you good luck."

"Watch it you!" Todd said, waggling his finger at Bobby. "I'm your only shot of staying alive."

"Death doesn't scare me."

Todd pulled on Bobby's shoulder, digging his nails. "You're not dying on me!"

A white horse galloped across the beach. A giant robot and a little one chased it. The two men jumped out to help the horse. Todd punched the giant robot's chest and sent the little one flying with a mega kick.

Bobby had his eyes on the little robot that landed on the horse and clung on for dear life. At the sound of Todd's screaming, he changed focus. The sledgehammer that he struggled to hold onto earlier, now felt like a part of his body as he scurried towards his enemy and dented its head with it.

Perhaps it was psychological. Memories of condensing himself in his flat for ten years came back to him. Each memory more vivid with each strike of the hammer. Home had never been so far away, yet he felt in his element.

A sense of guilt hit him as the robot passed out. Considering himself as one of the biggest gamers he knew, he was now a part of a game.

Out of the zone, Bobby almost missed the little robot jump onto Todd's shoulder. It placed its hands together and smiled. Round eyes covered half the robot's oval face. Its pupils dissolved into pink hearts. "Thank you so much!"

"What for?" Todd said, glaring at the robot.

"You guys made my dream come true!"

Todd shook his shoulders. "What?" He looked up at Bobby. "This robot has dreams. I can't believe they'd play some fucking stupid mind games."

"Wait!" Bobby yelled before Todd snatched his sledgehammer. "Let her speak."

"Thank you, Bobby. Thank you, Todd. I should introduce myself. I am Kiki. I was made in an old man's basement."

"So, what was your dream?" Todd asked Kiki, questioning his sanity.

"I've always wanted to dance with wild horses."

"DESTROY HER, BOBBY!"

The sledgehammer fell by their feet. "I think we can trust her." Kiki radiated friendliness.

"Yes, you can!" Kiki's head twirled like a carousel. "I don't eat flesh like all the other robots. I'm a good robot, you see. I'm an advocate for the RHF Corp."

"You what, mate?" Todd said.

"The RHF Corp," Kiki repeated. "I'm the mascot for the Tokyo Branch. I need to find Professor Denki's granddaughter."

"Who's her granddaughter?" Bobby said, picking Kiki up.

"Yuzuko!"

Bobby & Todd – 25 points

966 robots left