“I think you’ll be able to see it, now.” I heard his casual voice and looked up, intrigued. I watched as he stood up on the narrow ledge, his figure lean and tall against the twilight sky. His skin was even paler now, the wind playing gently with his hair. He took a deep breath, opening his arms wide as if to embrace the whole world and, unexpectedly, colorful reflections shimmered far away. I immediately turned back, looking at the shadowy horizon, and watched as the colorful lights spread all around us in a huge circle, shimmering and gleaming in a transparent wall that rose from the ground to high up in the sky. It was beautiful, I thought with a smile, almost like a strange aurora borealis, and I noticed that, contrary to what he’d had lead me to believe, the circle wasn’t quite round, having some straight lines and corners, here and there.
I sighed, feeling a bit more relaxed now, and played with the golden ring that I found in my pocket and that freely swirled around my finger.
“Sometimes, and as ridiculous as it may sound, I think you’re like a child that has just discovered a new world,” I said. “I see you full of curiosity and questions, even though you never express them out loud. And I can’t help wondering ... what will happen once all your questions are answered. When there’s no more novelties. Maybe you’ll get bored. You’ll probably look for another, more interesting, world.” I looked up at him, certain that he would be watching me again. “This used to bother me, but now I tell myself that it’s okay, since I can only live in a moment at a time.”
“Same as me,” he said softly. “I also don’t know the answer to any of those questions.”
I smiled and took a deep breath, determined to change the subject.
“So, beyond colorful barriers, what else can you do?” I asked, sitting up straight, and he laughed lightly.
“It’s easier if I tell you what I can’t do,” he stated, in a smuggish tone, and I gave him a suspicious look, as he nimbly jumped off the ledge. “Now, let’s see, I cannot read your mind, or control your heart.” He lowered his voice at the last part, and my cheeks caught on fire once again.
“I know already,” I pressed so he would go on with it, and his teasing smile told me he’d done it on purpose.
“Well, I also can’t bend time,” he told me and that left me curious.
“Time?”
“Yes. I can’t travel to the Past or to the Future. I also can’t manipulate it or stop it.”
“And space?”
“Oh, that one is easy.” Before I could understand what had happened, a black door appeared in front of him. He walked towards it without hesitation and entered it, disappearing only to reappear coming from another door a few steps away.
“That door ...”
“Gateway,” he corrected me.
“Unites these zones together?”
“Yes. As if they were next to each other.”
“But it’s different from when you disappear.”
He nodded, immediately disappearing from where he stood, leaving that thin rain of small black glitter in his place. He appeared again right in front of me, careful to always keep a safe distance.
“To disappear like this,” he explained, “what I do is to break down my own body into very tiny particles and send them through space at a speed faster than the speed of light.” I nodded, resting my chin on my hand.
“What about making other things appear?” I asked.
“Like what?”
“Hmm. I don’t know, a field of flowers!” I decided, looking for something more difficult than a simple object. But, the moment I uttered the words, the old white tiles were covered in a green mantle from where dozens of small tiny flowers blossomed all at the same time.
I blinked in amazement and touched the grass growing at my feet, feeling it alive and fresh. There was a sweet perfume in the air and I couldn’t help notice how delicate those flowers were, their small petals dancing in the wind.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured, still caressing the grass, and looked up at him. “Did you take this from somewhere else? Or did you just create it?”
“In this case, I created it. However, the result would have been the same. These flowers will soon wither and die. I can materialize things, but I can’t give them life. A Deiwos can never give.”
“Only take,” I added. “That means you can take a life. But doesn’t it also mean that you can take death away?” I mused.
“Not necessarily,” he replied and looked away, telling me that that wasn’t something he would like to share with me.
“Then, if you take death from someone, won’t that someone be alive?”
“No. It may even move, maybe emit sounds, but it won’t be alive. It will just be not dead.” I shuddered as I understood what he meant. “We also don’t give death, since it would be giving. To us death means total annihilation. So when we kill someone, we’re taking away their own existence.”
“But, unlike you, Merifri can give,” I stated, waiting for a confirmation that didn’t come. “Does that mean they can give life and death?”
“Yes.”
I thought about it for a moment.
“When I see it like that, I can hardly say what we usually say, that Merifri are good and Deiwos are evil,” I concluded and he looked intrigued. “It almost sounds more like Merifri are good and evil, and Deiwos are … neutral.” He seemed stunned for a split second and then broke into a laughter, startling me. It was the second time I heard him laugh like that, so simply and spontaneously.
“And this coming from a Gaalgha!” he declared and went back to laughing, making me frown at his condescending tone.
“What does being a Gaalgha have to do with anything?!” I demanded and Gabriel looked at me and, although his lips were still smiling, his eyes were sharp and hard.
“Gaalgha are Merifri in human shape,” he stated in a whisper and I recalled what Alexander had told me.
“I don’t feel like one at all!” I countered and looked away pouting. There was nothing he wouldn’t use to reinforce the barrier between us.
“Well, that’s good to know.” His murmur sent my heart into another suicidal run and I quickly went back to our previous topic.
“What about Magic?” I asked and he smiled, that crooked mocking smile that told me he had noticed my escape.
“Yes, of course.”
“Like those black flames?” I insisted, recalling what I’d seen that morning.
“No. That’s different. Those flames are the same as your white lights.”
“Your Soul!”
“The power of my Soul, if you can call it that.”
“But won’t using it burn through your vital energy?”
“Even if it does, I’ll never notice it.”
“I see,” I muttered, carefully placing all those new pieces of information in their respective places on the greater puzzle-like picture that was my life at the moment. “Anything else?”
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I smiled, pleased that he was finally willing to answer my questions, and searched the inner chambers of my mind.
“Um, how fast can you really move?” I asked and he sighed, as if he’d hoped that I’d answered him no.
“Faster than you can see.”
“Hmm, what if you wanted to go around the world. How long would it take you?”
“I don’t know. Never tried it before. There are much more interesting and comfortable ways to travel,” he replied and I couldn’t help smiling at his ‘interesting.’
“But would you need to stop to rest? Or could you do it in one go?”
“I’d probably need to rest at least two or three times,” he calculated. “Ah! Another thing I cannot do,” he claimed, making me jump. “I can’t duplicate myself. So I can’t be at two places at the same time.” I smiled maliciously.
“Now that’s reassuring. Two or more of you would be really hard to endure,” I confessed and his expression became slightly threatening. “Can I ask something?” I asked, squeezing my hands together, uncertain of how he’d react to my request. He seemed to notice my anxiety and his expression became more serious and slightly apprehensive.
“Ask.”
“Show me your true form.”
He was like a statue again, completely motionless; only his hair would gently move as the wind played with its dark strands.
“Why?” The word escaped his petrified lips and I found myself nervously playing with the ring that loosely embraced my finger.
“Because the only time I really saw you was when I evoked you. But now it will be different,” I replied, unable to find any other suitable arguments.
“No, it won’t,” he replied, his voice sounding even colder. “Because I cannot release my physical appearance without releasing part of my presence as well. It will expand all over this place, and even if you tell yourself you’re not afraid, it will still be a very real threat to your existence.”
I stood up, the muscles of my legs throbbing and complaining from that insignificant movement, and shivered when the wind blew in my ears. Even so, I raised my head and faced him with all my strength.
“Maybe yes, maybe no. But don’t you want to know?” I asked and he averted his gaze.
“I’m fine with the way things are,” he said.
“Liar!” I accused him, raising my voice, and took a deep breath pushing my sudden anger away. “I’m not!”
“Mariane,” I heard him whisper my name as if he was appealing to my good sense, and I clenched my hands into two tight fists, frowning, forbidding myself to be dragged by the power his voice held over me.
“And stop using my name to control the way I feel!” I added for good measure. “What are you afraid of?”
He looked at me and his fierce gaze filled with a deep restrained fury that almost made me take a step back.
“You stupid Human!”
“I’m here, am I not?”
“Only for now!”
“I am here!” I insisted, easily raising my voice over his, and he sighed in defeat, allowing his fury to wash away.
“Just stay there then,” he muttered bitterly and took a deep breath as if to gather courage.
I watched as he slowly closed his eyes and, moments later, his short hair rose in the air, as if the wind around him had grown stronger. I blinked to make sure I was seeing right, and the soft dark strands grew, inch by inch, but at a very much abnormal speed, until they fell over his shoulders, sliding over his shirt down to waist length. I immediately felt the difference in the air. It was as if he’d stepped closer to me, although neither of us had moved. My body was now shaking, as always happened when he stood beside me, and yet, as unpleasant as it might be, that was a sensation I had grown used to. Gabriel looked defiantly at me and his violet eyes locked on my shaking hands.
“Enough?”
“No,” I replied immediately, not allowing myself a single second to waver.
“Fine then. But I should warn you, it won’t be as soft as this.”
I just nodded while mentally preparing myself. The impact was deafening and stridently loud, making me cover my ears. The cyclonic wind that surrounded me, pulling at my hair and hurting my bare skin, made me crouch for fear I’d end up being tossed somewhere else. My heart exploded against my chest, stealing my breath away, and I felt my sanity slipping away like water between my fingers. The chaos around me screamed and howled. And darkness closed in, tying me up, making it impossible for me to run, threatening to swallow me whole.
I forced myself to breathe and, for a moment, that was all I could do. The air burned my lungs every time, but I just kept at it until I was sure I wouldn’t forget to breathe again.
Shaking terribly, I noticed the wind had dwindled and that the voices that kept screaming were now just a scary murmur. And so I dared raise my head, and my eyes were lost in his terrifying figure.
The dark wings sprouting from his back were huge, with sharp endings and, although Gabriel stood completely still, my instincts told me without a shadow of a doubt that he’d be on me in a split second, and that he could shred me into pieces before I could even blink. My stomach cringed, making me feel sick, until I found his eyes.
Suddenly I felt as if I’d been thrown into a sea of deep, cold water, and everything was silent. The sadness that marked his face left a bitter taste in my mouth, and knowing I was the reason behind his pain made tears blur my vision.
Not knowing exactly how, I was able to stand up, my legs shaking so much that it was almost impossible to walk. And yet I took a step towards him, and that feeble movement was all it took to return the light to his eyes. He watched intently and patiently as I struggled with every single step until I could finally stand before him. By then my breathing was so labored that the air was filled with its sickening sound, and my heart beat so fast that it hurt my chest. And yet I felt immensely happy when I saw him smile, a small, almost shy smile.
Looking at him from so up close made me notice an immensity of small details, like the shadow that his rebel bangs cast over his violet eyes, or how his face looked even paler when framed by his long black hair. I raised a hand that wouldn’t stop shaking and touched a strand of his hair, resting over his chest, surprising myself at how cold it felt, thin and soft, sliding through my fingers like liquid. And then my eyes were on his wings, which he kept half folded against his body. I felt really small near him, as if I could simply disappear in his shadow. I left his hair and stretched a hand towards one of his wings,but, before I could see it, or understand how, his hand stopped mine, just standing there, like a wall in my path. I noticed how big it was, his fingers long and elegant, and how he kept it opened as to make sure he wouldn’t grab me.
“You’ll hurt yourself,” I heard him say in that smooth tone and I looked up at him, confirming he’d just allowed the words to flow out of his unmoving lips.
His voice was the same, I mused, and inexplicably that made me feel more at ease. I went around his hand easily enough and touched the dark surface of his wing, feeling it slithering, almost plastic-like. The shock that electrified my fingers spread up my arm, up to my elbow and yes, it hurt, but not enough to make me pull back. And so I slowly ran my hand over it, feeling it smooth and cold but incredibly resistant, and smiled.
“So weird.”
I saw the hand he had raised to stop mine slowly lower and was lost in that movement. His white long fingers stretched towards me and lightly touched my waist in such a way that I could hardly feel them.
His wings disappeared in a rain of small dark stars that confused me, the floating bright glitters cold and light to the touch when they fell over my hand, almost like small drops of water that didn’t wet. However, I felt the difference immediately, and it was as if someone had taken an immense weight off me. I looked up with a half complaint on my lips and was immediately frozen in place. His eyes, the way he was looking at me, immediately erased all coherent thoughts from my mind.
Just like that morning, I watched as he slowly bent over me until his face was right beside mine, almost touching me, and I heard as he took a deep breath, making me forget to breathe and sending shivers down my spine. His breath warmed my neck, and my shoulder, and my entire body, and my heart almost stopped. I felt him gently brush my hair back, his cold skin briefly brushing against mine, as his fingers traced the line from my neck, up to my ear, so lightly that he was barely touching me.
My trembling legs threatened to falter and, in a reflex, I held on to the only thing that could offer me some support, my fingers closing over the silk fabric of his shirt. I felt like a mesmerized bird enchanted by a poisonous serpent, but even so I couldn’t let go.
Gabriel took a deep breath, making me tremble, and his fingers slid softly over my waist, and up my back, stopping between my shoulder blades.
“This is too hard,” he whispered by my ear, his breath caressing my skin with every word, sending electrical charges through my entire body. “I want to hold you, but I don’t even dare, and yet everything about you, your warmth ... your scent ... keeps calling me in.”
I had to sob to be able to breathe and the tips of his fingers touched my face, cold and trembling, sliding over my skin like icy cold tears. They softly made me raise my head, and facing his gaze, so close to mine, made me dizzy. His cold lips touched my forehead, bringing my stilled heart back to life, back into one of his frenzied races, and the sweet scent of his skin stole what little ability to think I still retained. His lips slid over my face, caressing my skin, light as feathers, until his warm breath touched my lips, and he pressed his lips against mine, stopping motionless. I felt as if something inside me was about to break, and wondered which one of us was shaking the most. His fingers on my back increased their pressure, and I could clearly feel them for a moment, until he relaxed his strength again as if he’d been fighting the urge to pull me closer. And then his lips were moving over mine, in a trembling but incredibly sweet kiss, and something burned inside me as if I’d just sealed another Contract with him.
As if the hypnotic effect had suddenly been broken I could move again, and I lowered my head, escaping from his touch. My hands released him, still shaking uncontrollably, and pain pierced through me as I recalled what we were and the situation we were in.
I heard him sigh, as though he’d just thought the same, and wanted to cry.
“This ... cannot be ... right?” His velvet voice echoed in my mind, making the pain even worse, and his hands slowly released me, making me feel as if I’d been left naked.
I saw him take a step back. And the idea that he could step away from me just like that, with so much ease, sent waves of panic washing over me. Unthinkingly I grabbed one of his long strands of hair and stopped him from taking another step. I raised my head, fearing his reaction, fearing his anger, but he was looking at me with gentle eyes, with that same expression that I’d only seen him wear with Lea, and smiled.
The weight of that smile almost crushed me and, in an impulse, I took the step that he’d backed away and hugged him as hard as I could, burying my face on his chest. He stood motionless, for an instant, and all I could hear was my own sobbing. And then he moved, and I felt him place his forehead on my head. His long hair fell all around me, like a curtain of darkness, and a heavy sigh left his lips.
“What now?”
I stubbornly shook my head and, although my arms ached and trembled, I hugged him even harder.
“I don’t care ...”