There were a lot of ways I thought I might die. A tragic accident, old age, maybe something stupid like slipping on a banana peel and cracking my head open. But being flattened by a truck full of carrots? That wasn’t on my bingo card.
One second, I was crossing the street. The next, there was a blaring horn, a sudden impact, and then... well, nothing. Just darkness. I didn’t even get a dramatic last thought—just a vague feeling of “Oh, this is probably bad.”
Then, awareness returned.
I was lying on my back, staring up at a sky that was just a little too blue. A gentle breeze carried the scent of freshly dug earth. Birds chirped in the distance, though I swore I could hear them snickering.
I sat up, groaning. My body felt... normal? No pain, no injuries. No indication that I’d just been turned into roadkill by a vegetable delivery service. That should’ve been my first clue that something was off. The second clue was the popup hovering in the air in front of me.
WELCOME, NEW USER!
CAUSE OF DEATH: VEHICULAR PRODUCE-SLAUGHTER PROCESSING COMPLETE. ASSIGNING CLASS...
Oh. Oh no.
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The text flickered, then reshaped itself into something that made my stomach sink.
CLASS ASSIGNED: CARROT FARMER
SPECIALIZATION: NONE
STARTING SKILLS: BASIC CULTIVATION, SOIL TENDING, CARROT WHISPERING
“Carrot whispering?” I muttered.
The floating text shimmered before a smaller box appeared beneath it.
IT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE. YOU TALK TO CARROTS. MAYBE THEY’LL TALK BACK.
I squinted at the message. “Excuse me?”
OH, YOU’RE EXCUSED. YOU’RE ALSO STUCK WITH THIS CLASS, SO CONGRATULATIONS! WELCOME TO YOUR NEW FULL-TIME JOB. HOPE YOU LIKE DIRT.
I let out a slow, steady breath, resisting the urge to punch the air where the text hovered. This was bad. This was very bad. I didn’t know where I was, how I got here, or why an unseen force had decided I needed to spend my afterlife growing root vegetables. But one thing was for sure—
I was going to find a way out of this. No way was I spending eternity farming carrots.
Of course, I had no idea that was exactly what I was going to do.