Moonlight reflected off the rushing stream. Submerged in the water, a small container of saké. Yasuo pulled the porcelain canteen from the water and felt its temperature. After feeling the cold, he pressed it against his forehead. "I've had the worst headache."

I nodded, then went back to watching the stream. "Well, that's what happens when you get bashed into a tree by a yokai."

The canteen top unscrewed, followed by a small swig. Yasuo sighed. "True. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that this is all I get." He looked around for a moment. Sipped his alcohol. Then awkwardly spoke again. "And hey... Uh..." He scratched the back of his head, and continued. "Thanks for keeping that Doctor away from me. It's nice to know I have people to fall back on."

That made me feel... Uncomfortable... It wasn't Yasuo, no. I didn't deserve his trust. I replied, incidentally coming off colder than meant. "That's good..." There was an awkward pause. Salvage the conversation, dolt. I kept going. "Uh... Be sure to tell that to Lee. He did most of the work after all."

Yasuo drank again from his container. "Yeah."

Silence.

I felt the urge to leave but fought it. No. Make it right. "I... Um. Thank you... For trusting me, that is."

Yasuo replied with more vigor now. "Just remember that I'll be there if you ever need help." That should've brought a smile. But I couldn't help to grimace.

He held his saké to me, offering a drink. I declined. What I had planned for today involved a sober mind. "It's been an enjoyable talk. But I must get going."

He nodded, then took a drink. "It has been." He went back to watching the nearby stream, and I started walking away. Unexpectedly Yasuo turned around and asked. "You must meet your parole officer today, correct? In case Kohei believes you've gone missing."

I simply nodded, then went back on my way through the camp. We were sitting behind the Doctor's tent, where Yasuo had recently awoken earlier in the day.

Once I hit the center of the camp I was met with immense heat, along with a booming and bright orange bonfire.

familiar faces gathered and ate at the closest to a social event our caravan would have. I wouldn't be joining.

The gateway was close enough to walk to. From there I'll pass through the portal and meet with Hayato. Simple.

Eventually, I lost the warm embrace of the fire and was back onto the cold and damp passage to the nearby city.

It was seemingly always cold and always damp.

Yasuo. What Yasuo said to me still made me uncomfortable. Anxious. Yasuo was honorable, I would drag him into my degeneracy. Yasuo at least came here by his own volition, he has meaning and a purpose. I've been begrudgingly dragged along like a feral animal through this entire journey. At one time, I was a person worthy of trust, I had a purpose and made my own choices, but I suppose those days were behind me.

The soggy path soon turned to a crossroads. East was towards my destination, so east I went.

Where was I?

Ah, I was where I always was.

Years before I could have taken a different path, things could have been better for everyone. The boy I met, Asao. If I hadn't tarnished my honor so many years ago, maybe I could have saved him. If I hadn't made the choices I had, maybe we could have killed the damned yokai.

That damned yokai. I'll kill that yokai if it's the last thing I do.

With that demon still lurking about, it no longer seemed safe in the camp. As if I needed more fuel for my lack of sleep.

I didn't remember the last time I had slept, but insomnia was the least of my problems. I still had the shriveled old Doctor to worry about, he thinks that he was clever, making me look like a fool. But I knew who he was back in the camp, and I know that he still is that person. I-

A carriage turned sharply around the corner of the road. I hadn't been paying attention.

The horses whined and the driver yelled. Basic instincts kicked in and I jumped to the side of the road, barely missing collision.

I stood in the middle of the street for a moment. Maybe Mahiro had a point when he said I daydreamed too much so long ago.

Staying on the correct side of the road would also help, most likely.

But still, it was strange to see a carriage. We had been visiting so many small towns and villages on our hunt that I barely could remember how crowded and busy regular cities are.

The gate was only a short way from the city, so I wouldn't have to spend long in the filth. But I had taken enough time awestruck in the middle of the road, back to the task at hand.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

I started back on the road.

Moving past the tree covered corner, I was greeted with what I thought, lo and behold, the bustling city.

My ears were bombarded with shouts and calls from all around the lantern-lit city. I never cared for this type of place. Too large to be small and tightly knit. Too small to be vast and cultured.

Nothing but the foul stench of human feces covering the streets.

Lower your head, and follow the path, there are only bad outcomes in a place like this.

Even though I tried to stay low to the ground, I only got so far before I was called out. A small group of whores crowded the entrance to what I assumed a brothel. Military men far from home were their prey, making me an easy catch. They shouted a siren call through the busy streets, smiling through their plastered makeup.

My head shook, but the calls continued.

Finally, I got a distance away and they realized I wasn't interested. So they moved to the next, same routine as always. Lost in an endless flow, with no way to get to the surface.

After that the walk was uneventful. Soon I was out of the city and onto a familiar dirt road.

Finally, I was in sight of the foggy gate. A samurai clad in black and red armor, who I assumed was Hayato's twin brother, sat atop the gate. He focused, keeping the crowded and foggy gate open.

Eventually, I shuffled through the crowd, and into the gate. I emerged into the fog, and within a moment I was out.

The sound of waves crashing against a sandy shore greeted me, and so did Hayato. And so did Hayato?

No longer on his usual place on the pedestal, Hayato was standing in front of the gate, still keeping the portal open.

He smiled as he saw me, as I did the same.

I spoke enthusiastically. "What great progress you've made!"

Hayato let out a sigh of relief, and the portal closed. after a moment to catch his breath, he spoke. "Your advice has been amazing! I've made so much progress in the past few weeks. I even sent a letter to Anzen, telling him to practice!"

I could assume who this person was, but I wanted confirmation. "Anzen?"

Hayato replied. "My twin." As I thought.

"Good, good." I liked Hayato. I should worry about dragging him into my ways and my problems like the others, but I don't. It was wrong to let him trust me. But the bond has already been formed, and with someone as easily trusting as Hayato, hard to sever. Leaving me feeling more invigorated to do good than to leave. Maybe one day I can be worth trusting again.

And, of course, I was too involved in thought to realize that an awkward silence had grown.

Hayato was the first to speak. "So... How did you know that would help me?"

I replied, keeping it short. "Yes. Well... I was around when Embers started coming about. I witnessed how people used them and what worked."

He nodded. "Yes. I was but a child when people started getting Embers. But you are..."

I didn't like talking about my age. I suppose no one likes getting older. But I was dissatisfied. My age reminded me of all the things I've done wrong. But refusing to tell brought more suspicion than telling itself. "I'm forty-three."

Hayato looked at me up and down a bit. Hopefully, because of how stunningly young for my age I looked, and not the other way around. He spoke. "Yes. Interesting."

Another awkward silence as that conversation ran out.

I had to be off. So I'd take this silence as a time to shut down any upcoming conversations. "Yes, well. I have to get going."

Hayato spoke quickly. "Yes! It's been nice seeing you!"

A nod and I started on my way. I gave a joking goodbye. "Maybe soon you'll be able to walk through your own portal to see me, eh?"

that reminded Hayato of something. So I stopped walking and let him speak. "Actually. I think I could do that. But there's a problem."

I mean, it sounded plausible, but I had to be back at camp soon. So I was quick. "Oh?"

Hayato went quickly, seeing that I was eager to leave. "Well, our Embers have always worked because we share this link, that's why sometimes I even feel like I can sense what he's sensing. So I have no worry that I myself can't go through the portal. But how our portal works is that we make our link a physical gate, so if I go through the gate closes and I can't go back."

That was a lot to process. Must have been on his mind for quite some time. But there was no way I could help him with that. It was time for me to leave. "Well, I don't know. I feel sorry that you won't be able to visit your twin. But just remember where you started, you wouldn't have imagined being able to see him at all." Hayato nodded and was about to open his mouth again, but I interjected. "But I really must get going, Hayato."

He held his tongue and went back to opening the portal.

I waved him goodbye, to which he nodded.

The fog consumed me, then delivered me once again to the other side of Nihon. I felt bad for leaving Hayato so soon, but I had no excuse to roam this time, and if I wanted to do what I planned, I would have to have extra time.

The road was wet and cold, as it has been. This road was familiar, I took this path often before I was sucked into this military company. My house, I hadn't seen in months. I almost had no desire to go back to the old shack I used to sleep in, except for one thing.

I looked back and forth at the crowd of people for a moment, then proceeded down a separate path.

An overwhelming sense of filth came over me. I felt disgusted that I had wasted my life walking down the same indiscriminate path, devoid of meaning. No longer will I be an idle layabout.

The shack came into view, covered in dust and unkempt. No one even bothered to steal from the place.

The ajar door pushed open easily, revealing a mostly empty cabin. I didn't want to stay and get reacquainted with my own filth, I had but one reason to be here.

An old and wrinkled sleeping mat lay on the floor. Pulling it from its place revealed a loose bamboo board, hiding the object.

I felt sick. Leave, leave it and go back to surviving.

No. This decision had been on my mind since we started our group. I was going through with it.

No longer. I'm done drifting with the current of time. I wanted to be someone worth relying again.

The floor flew apart with vigor.

If I wanted to be something worth trusting, then I needed a purpose. No longer will I have my own fate decided.

The golden accented sword, untouched for decades, sat expectantly. I reluctantly picked it up, wary of what I'd decided to do.

On the hilt of the katana read. 'Demon, shroud in the dark. May steel devour you with a zealous mission.' On the other side, an indiscernible sentence scraped and destroyed in a fit of anger. I didn't bare the strength to remember those words. I was still filth.

The katana I had been given by the company unattached, and I equipped the gold-accented sword.

I doubted I could use the sword for good, for its purpose. I saw almost no outcome where I was worthy of trust. But if I were to die on this expedition, let it be known that I tried to repent, that there was some part of me that wanted to regain my honor.

I wouldn't allow people to rely on me without even making an attempt to be worthy. I would find meaning. Meaning in the hunt, purpose in the kill. Honor in the act.

This time, the yokai dies.