Rag'jah,

I sorry. I regret all I yelled at you, every name I called you, every insult I threw you. I regret hurting you. I could see hurt in your eyes. I was scared, but that no excuse. I know what happened not your fault. It would happen if you not there. You were following orders, not because you like them, but to protect me.

I know they have you over their knee because me. Still, you not abandon me. It is because this I could never hate you.

I love you Rag'jah. I'm not sure since when, but feels like it has been awhile. I love you deeper than this country's snow and thicker than its smog. I would stay here forever be with you.

But I your weakness. All I can see when I look at you is how I used to manipulate you. I can’t stand the guilt. I know this hurt you more than ever, but hope one day you forgive me. You must believe I do this for you. If I stay, you lose yourself. You already are.

Know I am forever grateful,

-Your Sun

She left the note on the bedside table. The room was already cold without her in it. I glanced out of the window from which she had left. Snow fell from the sky, whirling in the air's wild currents. There was no chance of her surviving in those conditions. I had to find her before her tracks disappeared. I would drag her back kicking and screaming if needed. I wouldn’t let the cold kill her.

I pulled on my coat and boots, then jumped the windowpane into the snow. The chilled air bit at my limbs, but I ignored it. I'd warm up once she was safe. I jogged along the trail she left and prayed I reached her before the storm blew it away.

Frost stung my cheeks. My fingers hurt from lack of heat. I could only imagine how cold Sun was. I was used to winter's wrath, but it must be torture for my fair-weathered Sun. The wind wasn't screaming over the landscape just yet, but the storm was just beyond the mountains and it wouldn't stay there forever. Soon, it would pass over and freeze us both, had the snow not already done so.

I found her, still standing, still walking, still heading away. Even just seeing her, I felt myself begin to warm.

"Sun!" I called, my voice hoarse from the cold, "Sun, where are you going?"

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She glanced behind her, then spun around. In her hands was one of the officer's pistols, though I couldn't fathom how she got it. She aimed it at my chest. The bullet clicked into place. I blinked in surprise.

"Sun, what are you doing?"

"I'm going back to south, back where I come from!" Tears were frozen on her face, their icy trails reflected the filtered light from her cheeks so that her features glittered like a diamond. I shook my head.

"You said you'd stay with me," I said. "That was the price you said you would pay. You can't leave me alone."

"Then come with me!" she yelled back. "We run back to the southern countries and not have worry about being cold again!"

"We can't," I said. "The Authorities are there too. They'll just bring us back. They’ll always find us. I realize that now. Besides, we'll never make it. A blizzard is coming, Sun. We need to get back to the barracks. You're already freezing."

Her eyes still held that determined fire I had first seen in them, but it was dulled by something else. Her eyes were sad.

"No," she said simply. "I'm not cold anymore. I actually quite warm."

That's when the gunshot sounded. At first, I thought it was her that fired, but that was impossible. Blood spurted from her throat, not mine. She fell forward into the snow, staining its pure surface red. The revolver sank into the icy flakes. She was choking, writhing, and generally making things worse.

I rushed to her and collapsed beside her fallen form, taking her into my arms. It was too late. She lay still, eyes unfocused and glazed.

The bullet had entered through the back of her neck. It came through her windpipe, so must have just missed me. I searched for the one who murdered her and soon found those responsible. A small squadron of officers was standing behind where she had stood. I recognized most of the men. They were from the same barracks I was stationed in.

"Sir," the one at the forefront said, lowering the rifle that shot her, "why didn’t you defend yourself?"

I glared at them. They killed my Sun, the only source of warmth I had left in this world.

"She was scared, but my Sun would have never shot me."

On the run, back when I fought the Authorities, my rifle had five shots. The one they provided had thirty rounds to a clip. I only needed twenty-five.

****************

Now I head for the southern countries, where the flowers Sun was so fond of painting grow. There, I will kill every officer I find until I can find no more. Only then will I return and do the same here. I will continue until I am killed or die in the cold.

I hear the clouds often clear in the south and light shines from the sky. But it will bring me no warmth. That is their sun, mine was killed in this forsaken country. I will never be warm again. I will forever be frozen numb.