Chapter 15 - Fifteen Reflections of Lacy

Warm. So nice. My fingers felt like ice even with the sleeves pooled around my wrists. I felt tempted to eat a little more to keep the building fire going, but I needed to save the candy for the kiddies.

It was definitely time to take the bananas out though and put them somewhere safe. The safest place was by me.

Getting up, I held the bowl tight in the plush of that jacket as I crept back to the kitchen. Aiming the phone out, I blasted the darkness with light. It didn't clear away all the spooks, but it was better than heavy shadows.

Tugging the collar of the jacket close, the warmth made its way all through me as I used a heavy plastic bag for the bananas. A good tool for smacking some evil ghosties.

The hallway was clear, but I still preemptively ordered, "Get out of my house!" Steam from my mood also got my blood flowing. Happily returning to the comfort of the blanket, I considered just playing some tunes on my phone.

More kiddies were sure to be on their way, so I couldn't fill up my ears too much. Sinking down into the couch, I also let the jacket surround and consume me.

It still had John's aroma despite my sweat on it. That put me at ease. John didn't take no shit from anyone and would send those shadow assholes screaming for mercy.

I did good with putting his dad in his place without raising my voice and while he freaked out. A weird thought crossed my mind where I thought of him as my dad. Not that I wanted him.

But then my dad didn't want me.

Ugh. Don't dwell on it. I have...well, I had grandma and grandpa. It's good they're healthier but grandpa as REE-ona sucked.

I might have to use the bathroom. This wasn't sugar-free shit, was it? I checked my empty wrappers.

They didn't say but my breath stopped as I looked at them in the light. The wrappers were weirdly-tinted, but no biggie. However, a little sliver of leftover coconut was totally lavender.

A pain caught in my side like a plastic clothespin was stuck to it.

Being around my grandparents taught me to never downplay a pain, but I could tell it was my bladder. I must've been holding it.

After eyeballing the front door and swinging my phone around along with my bag of bananas, I decided it was safe to grab the bathroom and maybe leave the door open.

Slipping off my skirt and underwear, the seat gave me a shiver I had no fix for. Pissing helped though.

I drained out the fear and uncertainty in a long flow. It felt like it reached to my toes.

That candy though. It was lavender like the bananas that started this shit. With the pain flushed away, I could think about that.

Wait, it didn't have peanuts, right? The bags usually said if they shared machines with peanut junk. I didn't expect I would be eating any of the candy.

Washing up in the sink, I checked my reflection. No dopplerganglers or whatever it was. Fuck reflections though. That one movie with the evil mirror still stuck with me.

Just me in the mirror. Scared Lacy with those sucky silver obs. No, I told off Uncle Mark without being a bitch. That put me near John-tier.

John...

I rubbed the sleeves of his jacket against one another. His presence still lived here even though I made his jacket my own. Just for tonight and then I could wash it before I returned it to him.

After washing my hands, I flapped the sleeves a little and twirled, giving my skirt a fun flap too. Geez, I was acting more like a kid than our grandparents tonight. But, if you can feel it, you can make it real.

That was someone's sig on the Frostwell Paranormalcy board. I forget who. If only it worked like that.

Make a feeling like John and then I become a real John. Yeah, sure, whatever. But I'm still me.

I could never come up with stuff like the Splintered Light Kingdom. I just had the joy to share in it with him.

He could dunk ideas in fresh lakes of words. A town broken into the time of a single day. I need more words.

Stick to the candy though. Okay. Did it affect me to eat those two?

I didn't feel any different. My boobs were just as there all the time as always. And I wanted John back here, so this freaky shit would go away.

My finger wavered on messages and my webpages. I shouldn't plunge myself into the Internet.

I finally got over trying to sift through all that for ideas, like that one Halloween. John steered me right with a shot to my self-esteem.

They had their own ideas and too many of them. Just pounding me with their ideas like mom beats me with her own. "Oh Lacy, you are/you should be/this is you...I have the answer!"

I hate that I told grandma things because of them. She was nice about it, but it gave her the wrong idea.

I am Lacy, never mind my middle name mom twists around her finger or the name she snagged from dad. Wadley is a better name.

And John is the best. Oh, John. Some people make it weird and like physical or body stuff. That's not me.

I could be a pair of ragged claws inching along a sandy bay so long as John is there. I could be a mist floating through the air as mom tries to blast me away and it would all be okay.

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I can't believe that he doesn't seem to think he's special. He saved me in so many ways.

I'm just a dumb girl who fought her way through her mom and so many other bitches. He would think of a better way to put it, but he's my shelter from all the storms. He's home, even more than my grandparents.

I miss home. A real home like that. The truth fire of someone who really is in your corner and gets you. Who knows and understands, as much as our grandparents just sympathize.

And he never thinks any less of me because I didn't get as far away as he did. But I'm gonna catch up.

I'm not going to be scared of a silly, spooky night. No shadows will keep me from where I want to be.

Pushing out of the bathroom with all my stuff, I got my head like a bull ready to plow everything down. I'm the red and I'm angry! Don't any of you get in my way!

I tossed that feeling out in all directions until I got back to the door. The bell nearly made me drop my phone, but I recovered and did my duty.

Oh, the bowl though. With the light, I could see enough for the jazzercise kids, goblin cuties, and a mermaid with so much plush tail.

I didn't want to give them anything bad or tainted, but it was harder to see than the bananas. I scooped carefully and sent them off confidently.

The next round was a trial though. I almost gave a wolf kid one of the purples. Just because it didn't hurt me didn't mean anything.

My head hurt a little bit as I thought about the Walmart. We got the bananas. I got a bunch of clothes options for John and me. Scratch paper in case things mess up.

But the candy hadn't turned me into John, even though I had on his coat. Did the magic consider me the owner? Good thing I got a lot of clothes we both touched and didn't touch.

Would it make me into some random seamstress though? Not that it worked. Probably just the bananas did. That made me feel a little better in case I missed some purple-tinted candies.

All the noises and sounds around the front room made me feel good, like it wasn't just me. I cleaned up around where we had dinner and did some dusting too.

This old house had places like the attic that hadn't been touched in a long time. I wanted to tackle them for more space, but I never knew where to start.

John told me once to do one more thing than what a day needed, so I get ahead. I tried and grandma helped but she only had so much oomph. At least the shower upstairs was done.

I wanted to get a degree too, but I asked too many anti status quo questions in college. Why do it this way? Why is this needed? What about this?

A college classroom seemed so small and narrow-minded compared to the fantastical spaces of grandpa's theater. Just talking to him and John some nights felt like more education than in thousands of dollars to sit with rude, shallow strangers.

Still, I wanted to try, even if I had to wear another fake face like I did to be tough in high school and matched against Riona.

Returning some silverware to the kitchen, I looked up and saw a looming shadow in the entryway. The pose reminded me of those skeleton suit assholes from the big city.

Raising my phone and my voice, I snapped a video with the brightest light option while screaming, "FUCK OFF!" as my battle cry.

This one didn't budge and neither did I. Passing through it felt like finding a warm spot under a furnace vent.

No, the furnace was comforting and friendly, especially with fall sinking in. This felt like a warm, brutal muck, clingy like tape and suffocating. Batting at it finally made the air settle.

No paranormal jerks were coming into my home! Checking the video, I made the camera bounce too much to tell anything was over here.

I still kept it with the pictures I took to show Lacy when...no John when he got back. I already showed myself.

But that sounded right, for a moment. The heat from that whatever supernatural jerk lingered with me like when I ate the banana...

It could be trying to mess with my head and convince me I wasn't actually Lacy. Not that I would ever mind being John, even for a little bit. I just worried I might mess it up.

Being John is more a thing of presence and soul, not flesh. At least to me. If only I could truly be John around Riona. Maybe I needed another walk next morning, because I could barely feel the last one.

The next group of kiddies had Japanese cartoons for their costume ideas. I even recognized a few, but I kept focused on the bowl and not giving out anything weird. A couple groups arrived from further down the street. Eventually, an inspiring presence in a simple karate gi followed a fancy little cowboy with deep calm and but...umm...no it wasn't my mother but still.

But I saw a little girl who carried my mother's face and my grandfather's heart. I greeted them warmly with the hope of so many questions with positive answers, when the ringtone on my phone I dreaded most of all carried through the air.

The bitch is back.