Jake woke up to find himself in the air, thrown from his bed and out into the hall. He groaned in pain as he hit the floor. Surprisingly, it wasn't the first time this week this had happened. A stray asteroid hit the hull a few days ago, forcing the UFSS Fenton to dock at a nearby planet. The second time was when the gravity drive went haywire thanks to that same asteroid. Engineers didn't know that there was a problem until they found themselves on the ceiling one second and the floor the next. Jake was also a victim, ending up in the infirmary for a sprained wrist.
He got up and scanned his surroundings. A couple officers were staring at him with a glare that could only mean Hey, we were talking about something important, do you mind?
"Good morning." Jake stood up and saluted them. He had no idea what time it was.
The officers' glares persisted and forced Jake back into his room. The door closed behind him.
He turned around to face his room. The emptiness of the universe behind the circular window did not help to illuminate the space in front of him. In fact, there wasn't anything outside. No stars, no planets, nothing. The ship had been in transit to a different galaxy for the past 36 hours.
We can cross "asteroid" off the list of suspects, Jake thought.
Then he checked his bed. The mattress was misaligned with the frame, and his sheets and pillow were on the floor near the door. Putting everything back, he noticed a weird knob-like thing at the foot of the bed. The smooth brass of the knob was jarringly out of place in Jake's gray bedroom. Just below it on the floor were some tools. Someone had messed with his bed. And he had his suspicions.
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Jake had found his way to the canteen and lined up for some food. He wasn't hungry at all. As Jake plopped some mush onto his tray, he saw the people at the two tables on his right whispering at each other, giving him a stare every now and then. Seems like the officers spread the word of his incident far. Trying to ignore them, he walked over to where Reyna was sitting and slapped his tray onto the table and sat down.
"You're a real asshole, you know that?" Jake said as he elbowed Reyna's side.
"Whatever it was, I didn't do it," was her reply.
"You don't even know what I was going to say."
"Well I know you're gonna accuse me of doing something, but having worked outside of the ship the past couple days I think I can assume that it wasn't me."
"Alrighty then," Jake wasn't entirely convinced. "But I'm pretty sure someone's playing a prank on me!"
"How so?"
"I woke up earlier today, you know, like people do. Except I woke up in the air and landed in the hallway in front of a couple officers! I looked like a dumbass!"
"You are a dumbass," Reyna smiled.
"That's true, but it didn't make me look any less like one!"
"How did it happen?" she asked. Despite her ribbing, she was genuine in her concern for Jake.
"I don't know. And that's what I'm trying to figure out. If I can figure out who was responsible, then I can figure out how they did it."
"Wait, you think someone is pranking you?"
"I mean, maybe? Why else would I be thrown from my bed?"
"You might be a goofball, but I'm not sure if you're the kind to pull pranks or anything to warrant such a response. Unless you're not telling me something?" Reyna put her hand on her chest and feigned being hurt.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
"No, I let you in on all of my ideas." Reyna was Jake's best friend on the ship, and even if she rarely participates in any of Jake's plans, she's always in the loop. She's even helped him get out of some sticky situations.
"Well, when it comes to pranks, the twins are the first suspects that come to mind." Reyna offered.
"That's what I was thinking too. I'll try and catch them."
Jake stood up with his tray, food and all. He banged the tray over the trash can and the uneaten mush glopped into the bin in one go. Putting the tray on the others, he left the canteen.
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Kyle and Chris had walked into their room when Jake left the canteen and stayed there for a good amount of time. The side of his back was sore from staying in an awkward position the whole time. He didn't want to bring any attention to his hiding spot behind a pile of scrap metal, so this was a necessary sacrifice.
Twins, Kyle and Chris were pranksters by nature and the obvious suspects for Jake's mishap. They've previously put smoke machines in the vents, replaced the salt in the canteen with sugar (and forced the kitchen to throw out a weeks worth of food), and modified the washing machines to release pink dye. Perhaps the engineering required for the catapult bed didn't match their usual MO, but they had been taking classes from the Assistant Chief Engineer on the Fenton so they can be more of an asset than just entertainment. Who knows what nefarious pranks they are capable of now.
The door opened and out walked the twins. They hurried over to the door marked "restricted access."
What are they doing there? Jake asked himself. He decided to confront them before they entered the room.
"Hey!" Jake slipped himself between the twins and the door. "Just where do you think you're going?"
"Going to the grav stabilizer room, why do you care?" they answered in unison.
"What business do you have there?"
"Again, why do you care? You don't even work there." They turned around to start walking again.
"Hey!" Jake placed a hand on Chris' shoulder to stop him. "First, you guys mess with my bed, now you're gonna mess with the grav stabilizer?"
"What do you mean?" They both raised an eyebrow. Chris his left one, Kyle his right. This was the only way to tell them apart: Chris favored his left hand, Kyle used his right more. "You know we've been helping out Trager after the asteroids messed with our critical drives."
"You know exactly what I mean! I looked dumb!" Jake was practically screaming in their ears.
"Haha I bet you looked real dumb." Chris and Kyle looked at each other. They got a twinkle in their eye as if they got a new idea for a future prank. "Wish it was us buddy but that sounds funny. I mean, come on, we're grunts, not engineers like you. Did you ask any of them if it was them?"
"There's no one on this ship that do things like that, and you know it! I'll get y'all in trouble!"
Jake grabbed Kyle by the wrist. Despite his strong grip, Kyle too was a marine and easily slipped out. He turned around as Jake wrapped his arms around his torso. They both fell down as they started to wrestle. Chris tried to help but was pushed back by their flailing limbs.
"What the hell is going on here!?"
All three of them turned to look at the direction where the sound came from. Commander Poach was staring back at them with a glare that could kill 100 Whappars.
"Are you all deaf? I asked what the hell are you all doing!?"
I have no idea!" Chris snapped out of his shock. "Jake was accusing us of messing with him and then he attacked Kyle."
"They did something to my bed!" Jake responded. "They built some mechanism that threw me off the bed and I landed in the hall!"
Poach just stared at Jake. Realizing he was still on top of Kyle, he let him go and stood up to stand at attention.
"I started to walk around because you missed our meeting." Poach said. "And it turns out that you missed it to assault some of your crewmates?"
"Missed our meeting? Wait." Memories started to come back to Jake.
He was a bit of a forgetful guy, and Jake had bathroom duty the week before for missing training and the week before had gotten a warning for leaving his sidearm in the canteen. Poach had set up a meeting to discuss his behavior, but it was set so early in the day that Jake knew he would just forget. He remembered begging the hyperdrive team for their powered tools to make his contraption: an alarm bed. Previous alarms were all loud and caused those in the sleeping quarters near him to complain. This would be silent save for a thump when Jake would land on the ground. In any case, it would certainly wake him up. It didn't help him remember the meeting with Commander Poach, though.
"Oh my god, I made the contraption." Jake admitted to the group. Kyle and Chris' faces turned from confusion to realization then to anger. Poach kept her piercing glare.
"Well, I'm glad you remembered something," Poach quipped. She pulled out a card from her pocket. "Take my ID, Jake, and go grab the cleaning supplies from the storage closet. I'm sure you know what to do with it."
"Yes, ma'am."