Today was a day that every 16 year old had been dreaming of their entire life. Graduation was done, and those who had passed with a high enough mark were qualified to raise and train pokemon, and compete in this year's Indigo Circuit.

Naturally, I had passed. Maybe not with flying colors, but definitely not far from it. Even the notion of failed classes being the reason I couldn’t go on my journey made me feel sick to my stomach. How could you throw away an opportunity like this? The education system wasn’t even particularly grueling. It mostly prioritized survival skills, standard pokemon care, and the rules and regulations that were necessary to know before you could wander the region all by yourself.

How to not be a dick, basically.

I already knew my friends had all graduated as well. We’d done the whole song and dance of trying to pry into eachothers grade without being rude. But once that the cat was out of the bag and we all knew we could travel, conversation swiftly flew to the topic.

Starter pokemon.

We hadn’t spoken about anything else for weeks. All four of us were rattling suggestions back and forth about what our parents would be getting us. Hours and hours were spent arguing as to whether the strength of a dragon type would be worth how long they took to reach their potential. If someone wanted a charmander, another wanted a squirtle just so they could counter them. What is better: speed or power? It was a conversation that truly had no end, and the excitement was bubbling and bubbling until today when we would finally all get our pokemon and prove who was the best.

Deep down though, we all knew we would love whatever we got with all our hearts. And any pokemon could become the strongest, couldn't they?

I was interrupted from my musing by my mom beckoning me downstairs.

“Ethan! Can you come down here for a sec?”

I was out of my desk and down the stairs before she could even finish her sentence. Mom was tying her apron around herself, while stuffing a piece of toast down her mouth. In between bites, she was also hanging up some washing on a drying rack.

“Ethan, sweetie. Can you sit down? Hannah has called in sick so I’m heading in to cover her shift at the Diner. Listen, hun. I know today is a big day for everyone your age…” She let out a long sigh and looked down at the floor, seemingly running out of steam on all the jobs she was juggling just a moment ago.

Had something gone wrong? Was my starter not going to arrive today? That would really suck, but if it was only a couple of days or so late, I knew it wouldn't set me back too long on tackling the circuit.

Mom took another long breath and looked me directly in the eyes. She looked like she was on the brink of tears. Immediately, I stood up and embraced her in a strong hug. Like a floodgate had opened, tears were streaming down her face and dampening my top as she buried herself into my chest. I decided to just wait until she was ready to speak.

“I'm sorry, love.” she said. “I tried my best, I really did. You know money has been tight ever since your dad left. And a pokemon is just so expensive and we’d have to buy you camping supplies and food and pokeballs and travel money and there’s no guarantee that being a trainer is a lifestyle we could even support long term and..” she kept talking and talking until it was completely unintelligible between her sobs.

Oh. It wasn’t that me getting a starter Pokemon was gonna be late. It’s just never coming.

Surprisingly, I was calm. How could I be angry at her? Looking down at her, still crying into my arms, she just looked so… small. For the first time ever, she wasn’t an infallible machine. She hadn’t looked vulnerable since dad had left, just over a year ago. Ever since, she’d worked, fed and raised me without even a hint of weakness.

But it was never that simple was it? Above the surface it looked like she was coping fine, like we were coping fine. But when you look at the situation properly? We were too poor to afford any of the things we wanted. I wanted to be a trainer, and mom wanted to stop working in that shitty Diner.

During my stunned silence, my mom had almost started to compose herself again. She looked up at me with puffy eyes. “I promise, Ethan. Next year we’ll be ready. I’ll be working overtime and I’ve applied to a bar to do some late shifts. Next year, Ethan, I promise.”

I finally spoke up. “No, mom. It’s ok. If becoming a Trainer requires you to work yourself to death then I don’t want it. We’ll make this work together. Without dad.” The more I said the words, the more I realized how much I meant them. I knew I would be miserable, watching all my friends go on without me to travel Johto and collect the Gym badges. But then I looked at my mother, trying her best to fix her hair and get ready for work so she wasn’t late. Even if I had a starter, I couldn't leave her alone like this. I wouldn’t leave. Not like Dad.

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No, this year wasn’t going to be my year. About a decade worth of dreams had just been shattered in a five minute conversation. I would not be taming any dragons. I would not be kicking ass in this year's gym circuit. But I would work. Hard. I’d free my mom from this burden of supporting the both of us, no matter what it took.

——

Mom had left for work not too long ago. Now that she had gone, I finally let myself feel. I cried and cried. I threw my pillow all over my room, and kicked it across the floor for good measure. God, It was so unfair. We were good people, didn't we deserve good things? I had studied so hard and aced my exams for the sole reason of becoming a trainer.

And then it clicked. I had aced my exams. Surely my amazing grades could score me a great job. Not only to support me and my mom, but maybe to purchase a Pokemon and go on a journey when I’m a bit older.

With newfound vigor, I sat on my desk and was scrolling through some job advertisements here in Goldenrod city.

Magbys Pizzeria. Zero hour contract. Experience in the service industry required.

Yeah, no. That sounded like a shitty job, with a shitty boss. I had worked hard enough at school that I could set my standards a little higher than that. Also, it’s not like I’ve had any experience serving people. Or cooking pizza, for that matter.

Goldenrod Central Bank clerk apprenticeship: We are now hiring aspiring workers in the financial district! Looking for a stable job with competitive pay? Look no further! Here at Goldenrod Central we are a family that is committed to helping you climb all the way to the top!

I sat there looking at the ad. Sure, the salary was great. It would really relieve the financial pressure we were currently going through. But could I really sell my soul and become a nine to five office worker with a suit and tie on at the age of 16? A part of me still wasn’t quite ready to do something related to Pokemon.

Goldenrod Pokemon Centers are hiring! Are you passionate about helping people and Pokemon? Then this is the place for you. Here is a place to learn all the skills needed to support our Nurse Joys and maybe become one yourself!

Now, this was more like it. I’d never really considered work like this. But I had the feeling it could be really fulfilling. I had no doubts that Leo was going to take the piss out of me about the chance of becoming a Nurse Joy. He’d probably do something stupid like buy me their outfit as a prank. I put the application on the maybe pile and kept looking.

Lab assistant for Pokemon Archeologist. Applicants must be in good physical shape. Applicants must not own any personal Pokemon.

Well, based on what they’re looking for, I fit the description pretty well. I couldn't imagine too many aspiring lab assistants were in better shape than me. Also, asking for someone to not own any personal Pokemon was a big deterrent for almost any job-seeker. It’s not like people were going to abandon their pets and partners for a chance at working at this person's lab. More intrigued than anything, I put it in the maybe pile. Mostly because the pay was good, but partially because if I wasn’t going to be getting a Pokemon this year, I might as well apply for jobs where it’s a requirement to not have one.

I kept scrolling for about an hour or so, and I came to the realization that getting a job sucked. It seemed like no one was putting effort into these advertisements. And almost all of them asked for a certain amount of years experience in the industry. But these were entry level jobs people would apply for to receive that experience! Shaking my head in frustration and letting out a growl, I was torn away from the computer screen by a buzz on my phone.

It was a group chat containing me and my three best friends: Leo, Gwen, and Jack. We’d made a pact since as long as we can remember, that we were all gonna graduate and travel the region together.

It looked like that wasn’t going to be happening though. I almost just ignored the messages that were coming in. Everyone would be talking about their awesome starter, and I think I’d go nuts hearing about how much fun they're gonna be having on their journey. But somehow I felt guilty about that. These people were my best friends, and they deserved to know that I wasn’t going to be going with them as soon as possible. I’m sure they’d understand, and it’s not like they were the type of people to rub it in my face.

Leo: yo guys. Meet by the battle courts in 15 mins? Can’t wait to see what you all got.

Gwen: Make it 10 mins. I’m already on my way. Get here soon. Me and my starter are ready to kick some ass.

Jack: Yeah, I’ll be there. I don’t know if I’ll be doing any battling just yet though.

Ethan: Me either.

I put my phone down and rubbed my face with my hands. This wasn’t the kind of thing I could say over the phone. So I’d have to put on a brave face today and listen to them gush about their incredible Pokemon and how they’re gonna become the Indigo Champion. Oh well, they’d be leaving on their journeys before I know it, so it’s not like I’ll be around them for much longer.

I pulled on an old hoodie and popped my headphones into my ears. After a few moments of twisting the old wire in just the right way that got them to work and let the sound come through, I was ready.

Let’s just get this over with.