Yawning, Arthur groggily got out of the straw-pile he was using as bed as someone knocked violently on the door of the barn he was living in. “What is it, Agares?” he mumbled, “isn’t it too early for work?” “You got a letter, you worm of a demon,” someone, presumably Agares, shouted back in a fit, “I wanted to rip it into little pieces since it’s from the state, but since you love taking it in the ass, I decided to just hand it to you anyways.” A little letter soundlessly slid in from under the door. Arthur’s face lit up in joy as he saw the little red stamp showing this was really the real deal. A letter from the state! Arthur carefully removed the red wax stamp so as to not damage it before ripping the letter itself in two and removing the official paper inside. He was trembling. Had he gotten accepted? Could he finally go to Earth to serve the good Lord in the best way a demon could, by bathing in the blood of the enemy(whoever that was)??

As long as they didn’t ask him to go in for an interview, they wouldn’t know that, unlike all the other demons in the 8th circle of Hell, he didn’t look the least threatening. He looked like the most common of demons, standing upright, bipedal, with one head and two arms, some black hair, tiny little wings that couldn’t give him flight, a long arrow-tipped tail, only one pair of small, unthreatening horns and a pair of fangs that could barely rival a bat. The most normal demon of all. He really couldn’t hold a candle even to the poultry farmer Agares, who constantly rode a face-less crocodile. His parents, Valac and Ukobach, had thought him to look so normal they gave him a typical 1st circle name. They had even cast him out of the house at the extremely young age of 17(8th circle demons don’t live that long) and he had had no choice but to seek refuge at his uncle Agares’ place.

But that time was over now! No more soul-hunting in the threatening wilderness, no more scouting out weak-looking humans who are somehow all predatory souls at this circle of hell(most are prey souls but do they get to the 8th circle? Noooo of course not!) and hoping they don’t realize you couldn’t run even if you wanted to, no! If he could just get into the military, that was all over! Swallowing a mouth-full of acidic spit, Arthur timidly(as he always is) unfolded the letter, his eyes widening as they fell upon the contents.

“Congratulations!

Thanks to your current status of living in the (8th) circle, you do not need to come in for any further training or questioning. You have been chosen to work as a Hunter on Earth. Your job is to find crooked humans, and give them a one-way ticket to hell. Your payment will be given according to quality and quantity of souls. In case you get noticed by an angel, make sure to hitch a ride with a soul on it’s way to hell. For a demon of your rank, your ability to do such things as “hitching a ride”, making a contract, possessing, etc, will be taken for granted. If you are killed in action, the Ministry of Aggression Nullification will not pay any possible life-insurance you may have, nor will it give you any repercussion. You may take the Elevator in Babylon when ready.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Hail Satan! Long live Aggro!”

-And then a strange signature Arthur couldn’t read. He was still trembling. But with excitement! He just couldn’t stand still! He wanted to shout “Yahoo!!”, but he knew that if he did, he’d just be bullied by Agares even more for being 1st circle trash, but then again, he was going to be gone in just a while, so… “Yahoo!!!” Arthur shouted, jumping into the air with a toothy grin the size of the crescent moon! Agares apparently didn’t hear him, so he just fell to the floor, giggling and trembling in happiness, an emotion usually unfamiliar to demons of this particular circle. But Arthur was quite unlike the rest of the poor, angry sods down here. He had passions! Wants! Needs! Sure, he couldn’t stand the sight of blood, but he was sure he could kill a human or two if he ever met one!

Arthur didn’t need to pack anything, since he didn’t have anything to pack. His clawed little hands poked and groped and pushed away the hay, because there was, in fact, one thing he needed to bring. In the very center of the hay-pile, he found it. His needle! Perfect for pricking a finger when making a contract, it was the one thing he had been given as a moving-out gift! As for clothes… well, he was currently quite naked, but being naked, even in hell, was a no-no! Where is it, where is it… there! A leather jacket, leather boots, leather everything! Leather was the cheapest material down here, all demons were carnivores and really didn’t need to grow wheat or anything(unless it was like the first two circles where there were only weak, prey souls grazing about, easily domesticated) so leather was abundant here.

Bursting out of the door and into the eternal night, Arthur gave a loud “hissss” to summon Agares from his daily work as a farmer. “What’s it now,” Agares shouted, dragging a hoe behind him, “Uncle Stolas tell you to come down the street so he could give you a thick one?” “Far from it, Agares,” Arthur shouted back, “I got accepted! I’m going to Earth!!” Agares gave Arthur a strange look, cocking one eyebrow in disbelief. “Really now,” he said, “you did, did you?” Arthur puffed out his chest with great pride. “I did!” Arthur squeaked, “Point me to babylon and you’ll never see me again!” Agares furrowed his brow, before finally replaying by pointing to the west. “It’s right over there”, he said, “just head towards the tower. Can’t go wrong.” Arthur smiled broadly and started running, waving back at Agares with large strokes.

Agares sighed. He really was a good kid. When everybody else was sleeping soundly, Arthur would burst in the door and tell us to go hide the cellar, something was coming. And he was never wrong. He had been in quite a few scuffles, but he had always gotten out alive, if only barely. “I’ll miss him,” Agares thought solemnly.

Arthur, on the other hand, was far too excited to think about anything but his bright, bright future.