A family on a stroll, probably on their way to lunch. An old couple who come to the park all the time. A bunch of sketchy teenagers that act hard, but really they're scared of any confrontation. All these people are no fun and their stories are boring. I might as well go to the library, at least the stories there have interesting characters. this town is loud, but at least if i keep my head down people will ignore my existence. Maybe I'm out of my mind. Most people like me are home bodies who live in trashy apartments, smell disgusting, and are obsessed with video games or some weird hobbies. Part of my brain would be ok with that, but the other knows  i cant live a good life like that. id rather be outside but alone. id rather read that  play games or watch tv. Being dirty leads to diseases, and feeling grody, Not to mention the smell that radiates from you, that gets concentrated when under a blanket. why would I ever live like that?

   The library is place to be. its clean, its orderly, there's a certain level of decorum you must have to even enter, and everyone minds their own business. This library is is my personal favorite even the spaces are sectioned out. the downstairs has the computer area the main office area, and the children's section. upstairs has big windows where some of the more casual seating is, couches, bean bag chairs, and the like. In the back is a little dimmer with  a few cubicles together around the reference section. most of these are used by people doing homework or research. you get the random people here and there that use this place to get out of the weather and are on their phones or personal stuff, but they don't bug anyone. i have found my optimal spot where very few go. Its my oasis, it doesn't fit any section its a big leather chair with a coffee table by a small window between the casual seats and the reference section its not in the way of foot traffic and i can still observe everyone. best of all its quiet, so quiet I don't need headphones or worry about getting disturbed.

    I say I'm not like other introverts, but the hypocritical thing about me is my favorite genre of book is labeled young adult (YA) fantasy. as well as manga, light novels, and webcomics. So I still fit the mold, as it were. What can I say the characters are great way better than the adult books and aren't sexually focused. and the stories are way better than anything I can watch anywhere and my imagination has way better production value. I like any stories that take me out of here and into another world. There's nothing here for me anyways. I did the typical adult things. i got a no name job so i can move out of my parents place. got a small, cheap apartment near the library but not near downtown or heavy traffic with at least a few trees along the way. my place has nice looking but no name brand stuff in it. enough to appear normal, but not too much that its hard to clean. i've set my life up as simple as i can to not overwhelm myself , but well enough that no one will ask questions. its a terrible way to live, catering to other peoples happiness over my own so they don't bother me, but that's my happiness.

    my simple life is also full of contradictions. my only hobby is people watching. not in the creepy stalkerish way, but imagining their stories. That's why i like the park even though its the opposite of the library. crowded, loud, lots of things merged together, and people always bumping into you. this is also my happy place, which also makes me feel crazier. Does knowing you have some mental problems and trying to counter them make you crazier, or is this normal? i have a bench i sit at in the middle of everything. people still ignore me, and everyone still manages to mind their own business. it's great. from here i can see the old man feeding the birds and see him doing alchemy experiments trying to change the birds. the couple sitting together, oh the guy just left, maybe its an affair? maybe they broke up? another guy just sat beside her to talk to her? maybe its the confrontation. nope the other guy is back with a pretzel, and is yelling t the other guy. not he left and the other guy left and the couple went the opposite way. nope normal creep hitting on a lone woman. oh look a group of dangerous looking teenagers, cat calling and hyping each other up. ha, that lady started yelling at them and they ran off. yeah, scary teenagers. oh a group of lady's talking taking up a larger bit of room making everyone walk around. and there we see a man slowly approaching them. is he a thief? he goes for the purse, but she's got a good hold and it slips from his hands. he's trying it again in her face? They're wrestling for it. is no one gonna help? nope. and he takes off with it, she chases, he stumbles, drops the  purse  and takes off with out the goods. damn you cant beat this entertainment. still with all that people still move in herds the wind rustles the leaves the birds chirp and the people play with their dogs. its like a circus performed for only the most observant people. tome for work i guess. il just grab food on the way.

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    Remember the hypocritical part? My job is a clerk in a nerd haven. its a game store with comics, manga, light novels, models, and stuff like that. Everyone who is not what i want to be is here. its not a bad job most of the time. people come and go enough to keep me employed, but not a lot of customers so I can read a good bit. they have some books i like to read. the boss is pretty easy going and doesn't ask a lot from me unless some event is happening. the downsides are some people try to talk to me like were all the same kind of person, so i never really understand what they're saying but i put my best customer service face on and bear with it. the worst part is tournament nights. not only is it crowed and loud, but the smell is horrible. its best described as the elementary schools boys locker room after a hot day on the field. Today though, is inventory day. Its work , but i like it because i can get my hands on all the newest stuff first. this one is cool its a light noel with a wooden cover and a puzzle thing on the front? oh man if I solve this will i get isekaied somewhere? is this  a fateful encounter with a one of a kind- no, no there's like 20 of them. cool concept though, might check it out later. it took 4 hours to organize and put up everything, maybe i can take a break now. go back to reading, isekaied,  my ass. would be fun though, bet I could do a lot with the things i know. some main characters are so stupid. they're given some kinda cheat or plot armor and claim themselves the greatest of all time. Villains are the same, that why i prefer the anti hero. doesn't get cocky, don't assume he right about everything and whatever justice is. on the other side he's not a crazy psycho completely obsessed with revenge or whatever his cause is. the best anti hero help where he can within his own abilities, doesn't judge unfairly, but wont take shit and isn't beyond getting his hands dirty or doing bad stuff if the need calls for it. if i couldn't come back id at least give it all up and survive how i could and just deal with it. i think about it too much though.to the point i have a note on my phone and computer that titled " if i'm missing i may have been isekaied". its so dumb, and cringe. i'm embarrassed of myself. it sounds like the start to one of those stories where the main character gets sent of right after pass-----