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From Math Homework to Godhood: My Unexpected Ascension
The God Complex: A Struggle with Identity

The God Complex: A Struggle with Identity

pretty sure Seraphine continued to talk. Not entirely sure what she was saying. The continuous humming of her talk added with the prompt that was currently overlaid with my vision.

And wow this was pretty big I mean Wow. One thing stood out to me as very clear. Whoever this system admin had been, they were kind of an ass. I mean who just up and leaves an entire universe like that and on top of that just willy-nilly picks another one to be God?

As if that wasn't bad enough, they picked me. Me! I couldn't even figure out how to hand in my homework the right way and now I'm supposed to be some kind of God?

This had to be some kind of mistake. The prompt probably wasn't intended for me. Or perhaps I just got mixed up in all of this somewhere. Yeah, that seems more rational. Honestly, the very idea that I could be God was outright laughable. There was no way.

I wasn't even religious in the first place and I'm pretty sure God is supposed to be religious, him being the figurehead and all. Which was another point, wasn't God usually depicted as a man? Well I was certainly a woman thank you very much.

This all added together to make it very clear that I probably wasn't God. And even then, a slight nag of doubt. What if it wasn't a mistake? What would that mean? What could I do? What kind of power did I have? I had no idea.

which was probably for the best seeing that I wasn't a god in no way, shape or form, even though the prompt that still hadn't disappeared insisted on calling me such.

With a literal snap of the captain's fingers, I was brought out of my amusement, and the prompts themselves disappeared from my field of view.

“Are you even listening to me? This only works if you actually learn what I'm saying.” Seraphine said with an annoyed expression.

"I'm sorry, but I was kind of distracted there for a bit. What were you saying?"

"Ugh, it doesn't really matter, I suppose. We'll continue after we've had some to eat," Seraphine said, while some of her crew brought us a bowl of what seemed to be some kind of stew, which consisted mostly of dried meats, some preserved vegetables, and some hard tack on the side.

I'll be honest, it was bland and boring. I have hardly ever eaten something that was this unappetizing. And yet the mere act of eating something hot, of the familiar ritual of putting something in my mouth, chewing and swallowing, made me almost choke up.

The entire situation, all the emotions from the previous day, the stress, the fear and topping it all off with being told that I am supposed to be a God, I just couldn't handle it. I broke down crying.

And this wasn't the pretty kind of crying. This was all out sobbing, snot welling out of my nose. ugly crying.

I cried for the bland food. I cried for my clothing that had been burned and the new one that was itching. I cried for my phone that was destroyed. I cried for the strange and scary animals in the forest. I cried for my family that I wouldn't see again.

My mom's name is Rebecca. My dad's name is Ian.

I moved out two years ago. Too far to go visit. but close enough that I always knew they were there. I knew they were there, so I didn't call nearly often enough. Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry that you have to be told that I died, I'm sorry that you have to live your life without me, And I'm sorry that I have to live mine without you too. I love you both, oh so very much.

While thinking of my parents and crying, Seraphine had removed my bowl and was hugging me, patting my head and whispering, "It's okay, you're safe now, it's okay."

I didn't care how stupid I looked, I didn't care that I didn't know this woman, I was just sad and it was very nice to be hugged.

When I eventually broke free from the hug, the soup had gone cold and the night had fallen. The rest of the crew had begun to lay out some blankets around the ship, preparing for sleep.

I don't remember too much about how but I found myself snuggly covered in between two blankets on the deck of the ship where I quickly fell asleep.

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Seraphine really didn't know how to react or even think about this whole situation. At first it had seemed like an opportunity given by the gods. She had wanted more experience and what happened but a strange girl showed up as if summoned with a quest that seemed too good to be true.

Well, she really wasn't a girl. Seraphine didn't know what Izzy had been through, but she could imagine. There were only so many explanations for why a girl could be outside of a city naked and none of them was good. This added with the fact that Izzy seemed completely sheltered without the basic knowledge that one needed to survive, painted a rather grim picture of her upbringing.

While deep in contemplation, Alison came up behind me with two mugs of ale, and handed one of them to me. "Aye, Captain, what's the verdict? Got anything out of her?"

"It isn't about getting anything out of her, Alison. There's way more to this than that. She's obviously scared, and who knows what happened to her. I don't want any of you asking questions of her. She's been through enough without having to relive it half a dozen times, because each of you want to know."

"Whoa, relax captain, I wasn't... that wasn't what I meant, and you know that. I was just, you know, curious."

"Right, whatever. We will be taking a slow trip this time. We don't really need the money, we're settled for the season anyways. And I think it would be good for Izzy to acclimatize herself a bit before we reach a big city."

It would also give her plenty of time to get as much experience out of her quest Seraphine thought to herself, feeling only slightly guilty for using Izzy's terrible situation for her own gain.

Allison just nodded and said, "Sure, Captain. I'll let the rest of the crew know."

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I woke up with the sound of the river in the background. It was still dark. Very dark. It would have been impossible to see anything if it wasn't for the two lanterns, one in the front and one in the back of the ship.

I hadn't really had much time before I was on board yesterday. Everything had gone so freakishly fast. I remember seeing the mid-sized ship flat-bottomed and more like a giant plank, then an actual ship. Sure, it had some ship features like a railing, but it didn't have a sail or this shape that you usually consider when talking about ships.

Most of the ship, which I think is called the "deck", was filled to the brim with crates of stuff. No idea what was in it, I didn't really have a chance to look or ask yesterday. And I suppose in the grand scheme of things it really wasn't that big of a deal what was in these boxes. Even though a part of me wanted to ask what's in the goddamn box.

With a slight smile on my face I closed my eyes, invoked the feeling and called my status forward.

Name Age Class Level XP to next level

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Active skills Passive skills Admin NA NA NA NA None Immunity to all damage, Immunity to all disease, Immunity to all status effect, Immunity to change in temperatures, Self-sufficient

It worked and this time the previous note didn't appear. So let's see what we have here. First and foremost, it seems like a lot of the things don't apply to me. I don't have a class, age, level or XP requirement.

For some reason my name was registered as admin which probably was because I inherited the preferences of the previous admin.

Next up we have the active skills or lack thereof. Nothing really to say, I just don't have any. It does however bring us to the big one, passive skills and that does seem quite like a lot to be honest.

Most of the skills seem pretty self-explanatory. For example, immunity to all damage explained why I had been bear-proof. Immunity to change in temperature explained why I hadn't been cold during the night, or why the wolf's fire hadn't killed me.

What was less clear was what a status effect was and also the last skill, self-sufficient. I mean, I could give an educated guess. It probably had something to do with why I didn't need to eat or drink at the very least. But if there was anything else in that one, I didn't know. And as to what a status effect was, I guess that's a question for Seraphine.

Well, maybe not. It might be possible to get the system to expand on the skills in some way. The prompt appears when I wanted to know my standing in the world. So maybe wanting to know what the skill meant would do something.

At this moment, in the middle of the night, while just laying on this ship, it certainly felt like it was worth a try.

Closing my eyes I focused on the want to know exactly what the passive skill self-sufficient did.

And when I opened my eyes, a prompt had actually appeared.

Skill:

Self-sufficient

description:

You become completely self-sufficient. You do no longer need to breathe, eat, sleep or drink.

restrictions:

Must be a system admin.

Okay, I guess that was pretty self-explanatory as well. Although there were some interesting tidbits. First, it seemed like only a system admin could have this skill.

Second, it was pretty obvious that even though I didn't need to, it didn't say that I couldn't. I had certainly slept a couple of times since coming here, although I hadn't really felt tired as such. And that was to not even mention breathing, which I had done all the time.

Actually thinking about that, hadn't I passed out due to the smoke of the wolves? Why was that if I didn't need to breathe? I didn't have an answer but it certainly was something to think about.

Deciding that I might as well, I called forth the prompt for the rest of my skills.

Skill:

Immunity to all damage

description:

You are immune to all types of damage.

restrictions:

Must be a system admin.

Skill:

Immunity to all disease

description:

You are immune to all types of disease.

restrictions:

Must be a system admin.

Skill:

Immunity to all status effects

description:

You are immune to all types of status effects.

restrictions:

Must be a system admin.

Skill:

Immunity to change in temperatures

description:

You are immune to all changes in temperature.

restrictions:

Must be a system admin.

Well, that didn't explain very much, now did it? I suppose the only really interesting thing is that all my passive skills require me to be an admin. But I don't even really know what that means. I mean, I'm an admin. The note say I was also a God. Is there other God's or another admin or am I the only one?

All great questions I had no answers to. But perhaps Seraphine did. I should probably figure out what I'm going to tell her at any rate. I don't think... "Oh yeah, hey, so I'm actually a god. Now, your previous god just up and abandoned you all and on a whim decided to instate me." is going to get me very far. I'm pretty sure she would just look at me as if I was insane, which to be fair I might very well be.

But the problem with the idea that I might just be insane is that it doesn't really bring me anywhere. If I'm truly so insane that all of this is made up, it's not like me believing that I'm insane is going to change that fact. So I might as well run with it all being real.

Besides not telling her that I'm a God, I don't really know what to say and not to say. It's all really hard when you don't know what culture you've been thrown into. I might say something and inadvertently offend her and her entire family which will lead to a Duel to the death, which I suppose I couldn't really lose, but I certainly wouldn't want to win either.

So I think I'm just going to play it by the ear and see what happens. Trying to say as little about what has happened to me and find out as much as possible.

With that thought I think about closing all the prompts, which actually works, resulting in me lying in the dark on the boat, staring up into the night sky.

Looking at the millions of stars, ever so slightly sparkling, ever so slightly alien.

And with that, I eventually fall asleep. Ready and looking forward to getting some answers the following day.