Man. Being a Demon Lord really sucks.

I stared out from my throne at the five generals standing before me. All these scary monsters—like seriously, one of them had, like, six arms. SIX. Why? I have no idea. Does he need six arms to carry groceries or something?

Anyway, they were all giving me that look. The “you’re our mighty overlord, please don’t destroy us” look. Yeah, I was kind of used to it.

I sighed. Loudly. Like, really dramatically. You know, the kind of sigh that echoes across a huge, dark room with green flames flickering everywhere. It was that kind of sigh.

“Ugh. I’m bored.”

Crickets. Or whatever demon creatures do to show they’re awkward.

One of the generals—Balgor, I think—hesitantly spoke up.

“Uhhh, master, you said you’re bored?”

“Yup.” I leaned back in the throne. Or tried to. It was a little uncomfortable, to be honest. Not the best craftsmanship. No wonder the throne room's falling apart.

“You... you’ve been destroying heroes left and right for years, and you’re bored?”

I stared at him. Like, stared. It was uncomfortable for both of us.

“YES, Balgor. I’m bored.”

Balgor blinked. “But... but you’re the Crimson Lord, the greatest being in all of existence—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve heard it all before. I’m really good at the whole ‘destroying heroes’ thing.”

I waved my hand, and a random pillar collapsed to dust. There, more drama.

“It’s always the same! ‘I’ll avenge my village!’ ‘Prepare to die, Demon King!’ Blah, blah, blah. I’ve been doing this for, what? 10,000 years? Give or take. And what do I get out of it? NOTHING. Not a single creative insult. It’s all just ‘I will defeat you’—and then they die. Again. And again. And AGAIN!”

Balgor started to look uncomfortable. I could feel his panic rising. I wasn’t going to destroy him or anything... yet.

“I’m tired of it. I’m seriously tired of being the ‘big bad guy’ all the time. It’s too much work. I mean, did you know there are paperwork requirements to be a Demon Lord? You think it’s just conquering kingdoms and sitting on a fancy chair all day? No. It’s meetings. I hate meetings. They’re always like ‘Well, Master Velkarion, we must increase the destruction quota for next month.’ And I’m just like, ‘No thanks, I’d rather take a nap.’”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Balgor opened his mouth, closed it, and then just blinked some more.

“Seriously, you want me to keep doing this? You want me to keep destroying heroes and destroying everything just to... what? Live forever and feel empty? Nah. I’m good.”

I stood up dramatically, more because I was bored than anything else. My crimson eyes probably looked way more intense than they actually felt. I’m just tired, man.

“I’ve made a decision, Balgor. I’m QUITTING.”

“Q-Quitting?”

“Yep. No more Demon Lord stuff. I’m gonna go find somewhere nice, maybe open an inn or something. You know, live a slow life.”

He blinked some more. “...You’re... you’re quitting? The Crimson Lord is going to open an inn?”

I grinned, feeling surprisingly good about this decision. “Yup. No more ‘Demon Lord of Chaos’ for me. Just ‘Kayn, the Innkeeper Extraordinaire.’”

Balgor, one of the strongest demon generals, took a deep breath. “You’re serious?”

I casually strolled past him, brushing him aside like he was a bug I didn’t care to swat. “Totally serious. You can tell the others, too. I’m taking a vacation. I’m outta here.”

I made my way to the grand, iron doors of my castle. You know, the one that’s supposed to be super intimidating? Yeah, it was falling apart. Real nice craftsmanship.

Before leaving, I turned around and scribbled on a piece of parchment, tossing it onto my throne. I didn’t even care if it was legible.

“VACANT – GONE ON EXTENDED VACATION”

I sighed again. Oh, that felt good.

“Anyway, Balgor, tell anyone who shows up that I’m gone, yeah? You’re in charge now. Do whatever you want.”

Balgor sputtered. “W-Wait! What if someone—what if heroes come for you?!”

I grinned. “Just tell them I’m retired. I’ve had enough of being the big bad guy. Who knows? Maybe they’ll join me for some tea. Maybe I’ll even teach ‘em how to make a proper bed. Who knows?”

And with that, I walked out.

As I left the castle behind, I could hear the distant sounds of my generals losing their minds. Ah, that felt good. I could finally stop being the villain for a while.

I don’t know where I’ll end up, but an inn sounds nice. Maybe I’ll find a peaceful little village and... just... live. No more world-ending prophecies, no more stupid heroes, no more anything.

Just me, some tea, and maybe a cat.