NT: I used chatgpt to translate my work, so if there are any grammatical issues, please excuse me. I will use this writing to differentiate the thoughts, so if you want me to change the style, let me know. :)

January 17, 2024

In a very poor house in Brazil, in the countryside of a Brazilian state, a young man has been completely reclusive for three years. In the morning, he wakes up. Since his mother has gone to work and his brother has gone to school, he is alone in the morning. And his father? Probably in another city, passed out on the floor of some bar or street after drinking too much.

I sigh and get out of bed, groaning from the pain in my back.

“Damn...” said the boy with wavy hair, tan skin, and a height of 1.69 m. He is not fat, but he is not that thin either. He has some body fat.

“I’m doing it today.”

I walk through the living room and into the kitchen. Since the house is very small, I don’t have to take many steps. I sigh heavily and keep walking toward the backyard. I go to where we keep some junk, grab a rope, and pull on different parts of it to check if it will break.

Seeing that it doesn’t, I walk into the yard, grab a chair that was outside, and head to the dirt area, holding the rope in my right hand and the chair in my left. Reaching a large tree with some green mangoes hanging from it, I throw the rope over a branch and tie three knots.

“This is going to be a hassle to undo later... I hope it’s the ambulance or the coroner who takes care of it.”

I tie the rope around my neck, tight enough so it won’t slip when I jump. Making sure everything is ready, I take my phone out of my pocket and dial the emergency number.

“Good morning, you have reached emergency services. How can I help you?” said a gentle voice on the other end of the line.

“I need an ambulance at 90th Street, house 765, lot 89. It’s urgent, please. My father fell and passed out in the backyard.”

Right after that, I hang up the phone and stand still, waiting to see if they will actually send the ambulance. When I hear the sound of sirens, I knock over the chair, my neck caught by the rope as I start to suffocate.

Without struggling or swinging, I remain still, choking as I lose air.

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I see paramedics running through the hallway of my house, coming to the backyard.

Ah... At least it won’t be my mother or brother who finds me first.

Damn... If only I had tried harder... If I weren’t a complete failure and hadn’t isolated myself... I don’t want to die.

I start to struggle in fear of dying, trying to remove the rope from my neck, scratching it with my nails and slightly injuring myself.

No! Dying is too scary, I don’t want to die anymore!

These are my last thoughts before I completely lose consciousness and die.

Why can I still think...? I should be dead... Is this death?

I hear tearful voices in a language I don’t understand. I feel something moving past me and hands touching my body. I try to open my eyes, and sighs of relief and smiles appear on unfamiliar faces: two small boys, a young blushing woman with small breasts looking at me. She is sweaty and out of breath. The boys have tear-filled eyes, crying with relief, and a man with short, slightly spiky black hair has deep dark circles under his eyes.

What the hell... the boy said, but all that came out was baby noises as he looked around with wide eyes.

Looking around, I see that the house is very poor, with wooden walls and floors. The sound of rain is loud, and there are leaks dripping near the bedsheets.

Poor again, huh? Just my luck. If this world doesn’t have magic, it’ll be a total disaster.

The blushing woman takes a cloth that the man hands her. He says some words the boy doesn’t understand, but from his gentle smile, it seems like he is congratulating her. She just gives a tired smile and nods, wiping me down and covering me.

She lifts me slightly and kisses my forehead while smiling with tears in her eyes.

This is so embarrassing, man.

Oh...? I’m getting sleepy... Maybe because I’m a newborn?

I quickly fall asleep in the woman’s arms.

I wake up three hours later, alone, inside a poorly made crib, clearly not crafted by a professional.

So I really am poor, huh? I might be the youngest child too... But why did I reincarnate? Is this really what happens, or did something go wrong and I ended up reincarnating with my memories?

Well, I won’t be able to figure out what happened to me as a baby. Does this world have magic? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t... But my family seems really poor. I doubt they own any magic books.

I’m so hungry... I say out loud, but only baby sounds come out of my throat.

— Uaaah! Oaaahh! —

Quickly, the same woman who gave birth to me enters the room and walks up to me, carefully picking me up. She pulls down her blouse and brings my face closer to feed me.

What? I don’t want to suck on a girl’s breast... Not like this... Damn it.

I turn my face to the side and close my eyes.

Cover yourself, lady! I’m a guy, not your child!

The mother looks at me in surprise.

“Oh... Little one, you need to eat to grow strong.”

She presses my face against her breast, but I refuse to nurse.

“Come on, son... Mama doesn’t have money to buy a bottle...”

Even without understanding her words, I see the sadness and fear on her face, so I start drinking.

Damn... This baby phase is going to be hell.