Apondra could not remember when they came home. But with the darkness of night still covering them, she guessed that Barri had decided to head home early rather than risk coming across more vampires in the woods. She couldn't help but feel discouraged, this was her least successful hunting trip in months.
Barri had tried to remind her that there would be many more hunts, and that they would be more careful next time. But even as he said it, Apondra wasn't sure how true that would turn out to be. There would always be danger. Some thief or vampire. Someone who could know more than they let on.
She sat in silence at the table as Barri finally took a moment to check the wound left by his dagger, apologizing constantly for it.
She had reassured him that she was fine several times now, but he doted over her to be sure he did not need to enlist a healer in the morning. The bleeding had stopped on the walk home, and the stinging was almost gone. What could a healer do more than make sure the wound was wrapped properly?
When he was finally satisfied and her wound was wrapped as best as he could manage, Barri went through his bag and unpacked the few cuts of meat he managed to salvage and set the single blood jar down. Apondra knew he would likely be up the rest of the night preparing the meat to be preserved in salt. At least he could sell the jerky he made over the fire, but it would not bring in much. Barri would likely eat the rest of it himself over the next month or so if sales did not go well.
Apondra quietly took a pitcher from the cabinet and went to rinse her hands.
"Baby bird," Barri said softly, tossing a rag to her, "scrub well, we both need good rest tonight," he took a second rag and scrubbed at his neck.
As she scrubbed and rinsed her hands by the garden, enjoying the scent of Barri's potted mint plants that lifted on the wind, Apondra smiled. It had been a long while since Barri had used her childhood nickname, she had almost forgotten the comfort it brought her. Apondra picked under her nails carefully with the tip of one of her arrows, trying to carve the blood from under them as best she could.
She could still remember trying to tell Barri her name the first night he took her in at the shop, but her voice would not come up. True to himself, Barri had found a way to talk with her in that early time and after hours sitting with her with a parchment and ink well to no avail he had retired to bed, only to find the following morning the almost illegible words 'baby bird' scrawled among the countless mistakes and ink splotches. The only nickname she carried at that time that made her little eyes seem a bit less haunted.
Apondra clenched the rag, her hands shaking with the almost forgotten memory.
She berated herself for the memories that threatened to overtake her mind, and as she went to turn in for the night she knew the nightmares would return.
Apondra smiled at the new cloth wrap Barri had left on her bedside table. It had taken a few weeks, Barri said the shop did not have the right materials for it as they sat down to breakfast that morning.
She nodded, sipping at her morning tea while her mind raced with excitement to get back to the deliveries. The routine of it felt normal compared to the weeks spent in her room.
At the very least she had found something to keep herself busy. She had spent the time sorting through her clothes and fixing them to her liking. Barri had given her a small sewing box after the last hunt to give her something to do, and she had spent day after day tearing the backs of her dresses and the few shirts she had, finding a way to fit her wings that felt seamless. Her fingers were marked with pinpoints from her mistakes for the first week but soon calluses covered them and her confidence grew as she modified almost every dress in her closet.
"I was hoping to see Isar today and catch up with him," Apondra said through a bite of buttered bread as Barri sat to his own food.
Barri nodded, "Isar was busy enough with deliveries, Barri gave him time off. He needed break,"
She frowned, if Isar was not doing the deliveries with her, then… who was?
Barri seemed to read her look and said simply, “Barri has thought long about this… since you came here. Seeing you so scared coming home those weeks back… opened Barri’s eyes,”
She blinked at him and was silent. She knew he had noticed it… but this… he wasn’t really suggesting?
“Barri will head on this delivery, everyone seems to be on the list that Barri needs to talk to. This delivery, will be the last,” Barri seemed so calm. The deliveries were a lifeline for many people, or so Barri had told her years ago, but to stop deliveries all together?
Guilt rose and fell with her breath, what made him decide this? Why had he not told her? They could have worked on a way around whatever was wrong. It settled in her throat and she tried to swallow the guilt down with yet another unanswered question. Had she done something wrong? Her hand ached and she realized she was clenching her cup of tea so hard that her hand shook. “Did… did I do something wrong Barri? Whatever it is I am sorry,” desperation rose in her voice, as it crashed over her that the deliveries were her only true way to get out of the shop without Barri sending someone to check on her. The one place where he trusted her to be where she said she would be. “Please, let me try again… I know last time I came home a bit rattled, but I will do better I promise!” she was crying now, and could not stop the panic.
Barri came around and gently took her cup from her, "Apondra, Barri has spent night and day in shop trying to find way to keep deliveries going. Barri was losing more money than he was making with deliveries. This was best for business,"
Even as she tried to wrap her mind around what Barri told her, her heart still raced. These past weeks indoors had made her realize that she could not stay cooped up like Barri's chickens were content to be. She would lose her mind.
Barri pulled his chair over and sat in front of her, holding her shaking hands. She clenched them around his.
Apondra blinked at him for a moment. Did he just blow in her face? There it was again. A barely cool breath right in her face.
He sat like this with her, breathing deep with her, blowing the air into her face like a candle. He smiled and laughed a bit when she started laughing, the panic subsiding from her eyes.
"You always know what to do Barri," she said through laughter, her cheeks hurting from her smile at the absurdity of it.
He nodded and finally stood to finish his breakfast, but Apondra noticed that as she turned to finish her own that Barri was rubbing his neck.
"You okay?" Apondra set her dishes in the wash barrel and studied Barri. He didn't seem to be uncomfortable or in pain. But Apondra couldn't shake that something was wrong.
Barri hummed a response, his cheek full of food.
Apondra frowned and turned to her room to dress herself and do her hair. She assumed that Barri wanted her along to help with the deliveries, but by the time she emerged from her room, fixing the fit of her wrap, she found Barri had already left. "I guess he wanted to get them done quickly…" she sighed, thinking about what she could do in her spare time. He would be gone for quite a while. She smiled at the thought of going to the pub, Aremina always let her play the pianoforte when things were quiet. Maybe today was a slow day. Apondra gathered her boots and started getting ready to leave.
She had forgotten about the payment of her last delivery, Apondra realized as she felt something hard shift at the bottom of her boot. She pulled out the pouch and set it down to count the coins.
She had to recount them four times to make sure she had counted them properly. The delivery at most was 50 copper… there were six deliveries last time. The coin she had counted was over 600 copper. A tip? More like a small fortune!
She counted out half the coin and put it back in the pouch, using her dress to carry the rest to the shop.
Barri was smarter than the townsfolk rumoured him to be, he had devised a way to hide his coin to the point that thieves no longer tried to rob him. But Apondra knew better. She had watched Barri for years, and found that he stashed his coins in small bags, hidden beneath the floors of the shop in various different places. She moved aside the rack where her cloak was hung and tapped the floorboards, listening carefully for a hollow sound. She shifted the floorboard carefully and took out one of the small handful of half full pouches. She opened the pouch as much as it would allow and scooped as many of the coins from her dress as she could. The pouch was nearly full now, so she tied it shut and set it in with the rest of the pouches. As she carefully closed it again, Apondra already knew that Barri would count the coins after the delivery and find more than he expected. She would explain later that she forgot about them in her boot. She picked up her cloak and dropped the pouch of extra coin into her boot, making sure the stand was in its proper place before running out the door, her eyes set on the pub.
The roads were bustling with life; many merchants and tradesmen were setting up stalls on the main road, some calling out their wares. Apondra passed them without a second glance, weaving her way through the small crowds that congested the road around the merchants tables. It was nearly time for Aetis' most beloved festivities, the Grande Feast. Fisheries from all corners of the continent would make their best dishes to present to the queen, and the winner's lands would host the gentle queen and a few of her best fishermen for one month of the year, where she would hold night parties with the other royal families, and spend the days teaching at the docks and offering any advice that she could.
Apondra always admired the gentle queen for such an act of charity, and as she spied the pub down the road she wondered silently if she would ever have a chance to meet Queen Anamarie. She had always heard such wonderful stories of the queen.
The dimly lit pub was not as busy as Apondra had expected, there were a few tables with men drinking early and playing cards, a few men at the counter, chatting with someone out of sight. She could smell meat cooking, a light aroma of fresh bread. Aremina must be tending the cooking today.
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She kept to herself and made her way through the pub to where the pianoforte stood on a raised platform. Apondra sat herself down and surveyed the pub once more, just to make sure that she could see Aremina’s brother, Berendur, somewhere in the room.
Aremina would be taking care of the patrons and the food with the help of a few bar maidens, who Apondra spotted taking ale and bread to a few tables. Berendur would be somewhere, keeping an eye on the men, and a few choice women. She smiled when she spied him leaning against a far wall, one of the few points in the pub where he could comfortably survey nearly every corner of the large space.
He tipped his chin to her, the most acknowledgement that he gave her when he was busy watching someone closely. He uncrossed his muscled arms from across his chest and moved away from the wall.
Apondra kept her head down and passed her fingers lightly over the ivory keys, Though she was not yet to the age she could order herself a drink, Berendur always found a moment to bring her one when it seemed she was losing inspiration before the pianoforte. He always flashed her a mischievous smile and left her with the glass. Aremina had to know by now that her brother was slipping her drinks, but she never said a word about it.
It was in the quiet here that she let her mind go free with thoughts of her mother and father, and she began to play a familiar tune, an old song her mother would sing when she thought Apondra was deep in sleep. As she played, she closed her eyes, and lost herself in it, letting her fingers go by memory alone. It had taken three months for her to get the courage to approach the pianoforte when she brought up the courage to venture into town on her own, and nearly six months of practice before she learned the tune her mother used to sing during those lonely nights.
Apondra sometimes wondered about her father. He did not come around the small cabin much during her short childhood there, and seemed to disappear even more when Apondra became ill. She sighed at the thought of it as she played, the only lesson he had taught her then was… she couldn't think of one.
A gentle firm hand touched her shoulder and she startled, nearly spilling the drink that was outstretched to her.
"Beren!" she gasped, turning to face him, "Do not sneak up on me like that!"
His blue eyes sparked with mischief and he grinned, "Kid, I've been here for the past ten minutes listening to you play. You didn't notice me at all?"
To be honest… no. She hadn't noticed him move from his post to listen to her. Nor did she see him order her a drink from the bar. She took the drink from him and smelled it. Sweet. Like the blueberry cobbler the bakers sold in the summertime. She smiled as she drank, not surprised that she could not taste the spirits that were in it. Beren always made drinks for her like that, "I was distracted…" she glanced around the pub for a moment, " who was it this time?"
Berendur crossed his arms again, an angry glower written on his face, "Just some blood men. Seems they have some bounty they're looking for. I turned them around towards The Pass. Be days now before they realize I sent them in a circle,"
She sighed and slowly sipped her drink now, "Barri and I went hunting a few weeks back to stock up the store… we had a run in with a few men there, I wish we could hunt in peace… it is getting so dangerous,"
Apondra could feel Beren tense behind her, "I think it's a good idea for Barri to stop delivering. He may act it, but he's not as spry as he was back in the day,"
Apondra quietly wondered how long it would be before the shop would close down. Beren was right, even if he didn't say the words, Barri couldn't run the shop forever. Even with his longevity. His body couldn't keep up with it unless he sought to slim up. But Apondra knew he wouldn't. He always mocked the lanky figures of other elves when they were out of earshot, especially those who resided in the capital city of Adeena in the elven lands of Etecia.
"Well kid," Beren sighed, taking the empty glass from her, his gaze far away, surveying the room once more, "I gotta get back to it, I'll ask Mina fix you a plate and send it with one of the girls, you look like you could eat,"
Apondra nodded and returned to her playing, but could not shake the bitterness she felt. Just another person who believed the rumours that she was not eating well enough. She wasnt that skinny… was she? She pushed down the thoughts and began playing with tunes and melodies over the ivory keys, losing herself to imaginings of what the continent beyond the normalcy of Dryn was like; towering mountain ranges, lakes and rivers with views of the Agrien Sea, calming, powerful waterfalls, bustling towns and majestic castles. One day she would have her time to see the continent, and have her fill of adventures. For now at least music was something constant.
It was some time later that Apondra went to sit by herself at a table near the booths at the back of the pub, Aremina taking a plate of steaming hot meat and bread to her for supper, and Beren casually sneaking drinks over to her when he was not watching someone in the pub. She ate in silence, keeping her head down to avoid any unwanted company. Beren had gone to man the doors as the pub began to fill with the usual patrons, night women and bard, the large space boomed with voices and laughter and the calming lute playing and songs of the dark haired bard, an older woman with sandy blonde hair took up the pianoforte and played alongside the bard, who seemed to be enjoying his songs as much as the crowd did. Barri had already sent two men to check on her tonight, Beren had just pointed in her direction and they went on their way thankfully. Apondra wasn’t ready to leave just yet. A sudden silence made Apondra glance up from her drink for a moment, as she eyed what had made everyone silent.
A young elf man with pointed ears, who stood half a head taller than the several guardsmen that accompanied him, had entered the pub, dressed in fine gold-trimmed garments and jewels, his braided white-blonde hair dulled in the dim light. He moved smoothly through the crowd with his entourage keeping close and made his way towards the bar. Apondra sat and admired his muscular arms from afar, turning her eyes down quickly when she saw the man look her way.
Aremina and a few barmaidens straightened themselves, or fixed their dresses as they went to aide the man. Even Beren seemed to straighten himself just a little when the man entered. What were they fussing over? He was probably just a nobleman from Etecia.
She turned to a woman she recognized from deliveries and leaned towards her to ask over the rising noise of the crowd, “Who is that?”
The woman appeared to be laughing, though it was quickly drowned out by the bard who continued his playing, a bit more passionately with a song of elves and faeries and times of peace, “He is the Prince of the Emerald Castle!” the woman said in Apondra’s ear, “Did you not know he was going to be in town for the month? It has been the talk of the town the last few weeks!”
Apondra nodded and settled back in her seat, pretending to sip her drink as her eyes followed the prince. Of course she had not known that such a prestigious man would be in town, she had been locked away for weeks now. She quietly wondered why the prince of Etecia was choosing to visit Dryn of all places; there was nothing here for him to gain, unless he was in search of a gardener for his castle grounds. Dryn had nothing to offer him. Perhaps he was here for pleasure? The prince and his men took their seats in a booth not far from Apondra, and a few nightmaidens began to flock in his direction. Apondra’s theory was quickly disproven when the prince sent them on their way with a gentle shake of his head, though one of his guards could not keep his eyes from the girls.
She sighed and picked at the remnants of her food, wondering what the prince's life was like. To have the freedom to go wherever he wanted to, see the farthest corners of the continent, even the mysterious lands of Summersea, which were almost always shrouded in a thick fog. Barri had taught her just enough to know the lands that they might travel to on business, but when Apondra tried to ask more about them he became decidedly quiet. She always wondered why the fog never moved.
As she finished her food and Beren brought her another drink, she began to realize that she had lost track of time, and her drinks. How many had she had? Five? Ten? She could not remember. They seemed to be getting stronger each time Beren brought one. However her focus was not the least bit fuzzy by this point. Apondra stole a shy glance at the prince who had resorted to lounging in the booth with his arms crossed, the strong muscles of his arms showing. She felt her cheeks flush and her heart flutter. From here she could make out his face, his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw, his bright eyes that shone in the candelabra light like two pure emeralds. She hid her smile behind her drink.
“Apondra!” Barri’s voice echoed and she startled from her daydreams of what the prince looked like beneath his finery, to see Barri barrelling his way through the crowd towards her. Before she could catch herself, her drink spilled over the front of her dress, soaking her. She growled and set the glass down, Barri now towering over her with a scowl. She stood and shoved her chair in with enough force to shake the table and glared back, “I know, I know” she grumbled, “I should have been home a long time ago. I got distracted okay?”
Barri took her arm, hard enough to hurt a bit, “You have any idea how long Barri has been waiting? You smell of spirits, you been drinking?!” he began to drag her out of the pub, and she tried to pull back.
“You sent two people to check on me right?!” she growled back softly so no one would hear, “You knew I was okay!”
He tightened his grip when Beren came to help, “I am taking her home! Should not have served her Beren. You know how she gets,”
Beren’s expression was stoic, his hands at his sides, “I apologize Barri, I should have sent her home when you sent for her. That was my mistake, she was enjoying herself. I thought you would not mind it,”
Barri huffed and pushed past him, belly first, nearly knocking Beren into a table where a few men were playing cards, “Would not mind? She will not come here again!”
Apondra could feel the sting of tears in her eyes from the embarrassment of it all, and fought to keep them from changing. There were too many people here. She had to just go with him. She could not let them see. Clenching her jaw to keep from spitting words with Barri, she reluctantly left with him, only to see that the young prince had stood from his table, his guards at his sides, looking dismayed and conflicted.
“You will stay and tend shop from now on, Apondra!” Barri seethed as he barred the door forcefully behind them with a slam of the wood, “Barri will not send others on witch hunt so he knows you are safe!”
He began towards the back door when Apondra blocked it with her body, “You knew I was safe!” she yelled at him.
“Safe yes! Not drunk!” he yelled back, trying to move her out of the way, but she stood her ground and planted her feet, “If Barri knew you were drinking going to pub after deliveries he would have never allowed it!”
“Do I sound drunk to you?! I was having fun! Beren was there,” she gestured with her hand, back in the direction of the pub, “He was making sure I was okay, he would not have served me otherwise!”
Barri growled through his teeth, “Should not have been drinking at all! You are not Ascended yet, did you forget young lady?!”
She rolled her eyes at him, “Why does it matter sooo much if I am at my Ascension year or not?! A lot of girls sneak drinks! So why should I be any different?! I am different enough Barri! I just want to be free!” tears started falling with every word.
“So long as you are under Barri’s roof, you follow Barri’s rules, daughter!”
She grabbed the pins at her wrap and snapped them with a hard squeeze beneath her dress, they pricked her but she didn’t care. She growled and tore the bindings away from her, letting them fall on the floor, her wings snapping open, “You are not my father!” her wings bristled with her rage as she said it.
He tried to puff his chest with his anger but in turn his belly puffed out with it. He said in a tone that made her jaw clench, as if he was dismissively addressing a naughty child, “No Barri is not. Your father trusted me with you, and did not come for you!”
Her world crashed. Barri knew her father? Why had he not sent someone to look for him? He had kept this secret from her for so long… did he even know where her father was? Her wings deflated and hung limp on her back, “You…” different tears began to fall, and her voice cracked with a held sob, “You… knew him? Of course you did… but you never went looking for him did you?!” she searched his eyes for an answer and sighed at his silence, “I thought so…” She quietly turned her back on him and barred the door behind her.
She shouldered past Barri and went to her room.
Apondra shoved her armoire in front of her bedroom door and sat on her bed sobbing. How could Barri have not said anything about her father entrusting him with her care? How could he keep her locked away like this? She sat on her bed with her head in her hands, letting the tears fall and sobs shake her body, folding her wings over her shoulders for some semblance of comfort. She could not remember her father’s name, what he looked like… his voice. Apondra's lips broke apart with another heavy sob. She did not even know her father’s voice.
She heard the floor creak, and Barri’s gentle knock, but she did not move to unblock the door. She just wanted to be alone. Apondra let herself fall into bed, turning her back to the door and hugging her arms. She did not hear Barri speak, or when he moved away from the door with a sigh. That night she cried herself to sleep, her dreams speckled with a faceless angel she did not know, and the prince whose name she wished she knew.