After a moment of unrequited hugging, Kaharu tried shacking the attacker off of him. In the midst of it, he asked her
"So, you accept me as a god?"
The response came in the form of an enthusiastic
"Of course----"
As the response had left her mouth, she'd been removed from Kaharu's body, standing several meters away with a confused facial expression. He grabbed his jacket from the bushes and looked over to Kunma, the god who acted as a sort of boss in that place. The look on his face didn't really coincide with his unofficial title though. Despite having heavy bags under his eyes, and looking a bit pale, as an overworked boss usually would reflect in their appearances. He didn't have the glimmer in his eyes hinting at hope and driving motivation. They looked dead. That thought prompted even more questions within Kaharu, but he didn't care enough to actually address them in any way. He just moved on as he continued listening to the unofficial boss of that company.
He said
"Well, I suppose it's time. You did do as I say, and have therefore passed 'the confirmation'.
Please stand here."
He pointed to a spot in front of the shrine, which caused a mild dilemma in Kaharu's mind. But as it was necessary for the completion of his goal, he complied and walked to the spot he was instructed toward. The ex-NEET god, who'd recently come out of her shell, looked at Kaharu and commented
"I wonder what power you'll get… Maybe wings to put on your back, or arrows that you can shoot at people."
Kaharu sighed, disappointed, as he commented
"I feel like all of those are referring to a certain other god…
I know what power I'll get."
He tied his fists together in front of him as he smirked, he finished his thought
"Fire, that has to be it."
He thought it fit him perfectly, a fire to burn through everything that crossed him, and to scare off people who were being pains in the ass toward him. Kaharu thought everything regarding it fit perfectly with him, and a smile came from his face as fantasies flooded in.
He hadn't been that excited for something in a long time. He'd been in a lot of fights, and the adrenaline there was something to experience despite the pain that was felt in it, but this was something that would change everything.
It was like achieving new heights, when you thought the limit had been reached. Like a pole vaulter being able to jump higher than ever before, when they thought their peak had been reached and everything was downhill from there.
Excitement.
It burned through his heart like the fire he desired to conquer.
As Kunma stood in front of him, with his hands reached out toward him, he made a very special note of what he perceived.
Lights almost shining from Kunma's hands, the ground feeling like it shook under them, and the skies opening up to greet them for a second time. It may have been Kaharu's imagination, even he didn't know. All he knew was that his days were about to shine brighter.
His days under authority, his days of isolation, his days of confusion.
His days of powerlessness.
Everything.
*CLAP*
*SHINE*
With a loud clap from the unofficial boss god, everything turned white for a couple of seconds as surprise took hold in Kaharu. When he opened his eyes, he felt something.
A new feeling surging in him. It was unlike anything he'd experienced before, it felt like something was rushing around under his skin. Some kind of power trying to build up as much speed as it could, racing from one end to the other. He held out his palm in front of him, pointing towards him, as he smiled.
Right before he tried to do something, Kunma commented
"I don't mean to spoil the mood, but I'm 80% sure you didn't get any fire powers."
Kaharu didn't have any time to comment as he already snapped his fingers, drawing out a glimpse of his new powers.
As it sparked in front of him, Kaharu was left with a shocked face. Kunma, having expected that result, said
"And 80% wins the lottery!"
Kaharu stared at his arm, as an imaginary bolt of lightning struck behind him, as he stared at small sparks of electricity bounce around his arm like frogs.
He looked at it in confusion as he asked
"Why…?"
Why'd he gotten this power instead of what he'd expected? It didn't seem right to him, it wasn't like disappointment struck him, but it felt odd. He was so confident in understanding what he'd get, but frogs were jumping around his palm as he stared at it with a frustrated look. Kunma answered from what he understood of the situation
"I thought you wouldn't get fire powers, since it doesn't really fit you. The instantaneous blasts of anger and emotion you employ much more resemble that of bolts of lightning, than slow and searing fire. Lightning that dispatches so much energy at once and causes immense destruction fit you more than the sadistic flames."
Kaharu, and the others present, all got the feeling that they somehow understood the reasoning behind such a thing. Like someone had decided the power for him.
Before Kaharu turned around to rush home, since the time was getting very late, Kunma added something, as he'd sensed something in Kaharu that seemed strange. There was a feeling that Kaharu had sought a weird road to get what he wanted out of life, and Kunma commented on it by saying
"Hey, don't expect too much now."
Kaharu completely ignored the comment from Kunma as he rushed forward, and out of the shrine area.
Kaharu felt as if a puzzle piece had been placed correctly in his heart.
….
The arrival home came with mixtures of worried and angry looks as Kaharu went home. His shoes crossing over the door weren't met with the best response he'd hoped for, his mother and father looked at him in worry as they asked things like
"Where have you been!?"
"It's really late, you know!"
A doorstop was put both between both the kitchen door and Kaharu's mood as it took a step down. He looked frantically to the left and right as he proceeded slowly forward, surrounded by nothing but disappointment. He gritted his teeth in frustration, was that how a god got treated? A small light was lit up in him as he plated some food, growing subtle thoughts in him that whispered in terms of influence over him. Their stares really hurt him though, he wasn't prepared for the onslaught so his guard had been let down and the strike had gotten him down a little bit. Like a fishhook had connected with his jeans, and he didn't notice anything special, he continued with a neutral face toward his room. Despite letting his guard down, he was still relatively used to such emotions directed at him. A protective shield was put up in front of him as fantasies took control of his mind, an ideal was created as he continued to think about it. An airplane had been created for him to soar in the sky with, and he regained his former passion slightly as he reached his room, although something felt different from his previous passion. It was ultimately unnoticeable to him that moment, and he sat down by his desk with his food and his phone open. His glances at the calendar neighboring him reminded him of the test he'd have to retake on Thursday, but the frustration stemming from such a reminder caused him to throw it across the room.
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They got slightly more noticeable.
Kaharu carried on, after finishing up his food, with what he usually did on a bored afternoon: Laying in bed, staring at the roof for some time. Something got clearer to him, but he didn't want to think about it so he quickly changed his thought-process.
Time flew by as he suddenly heard ringing from his phone.
Being bored out of his mind, he was eager to run to the phone as something was happening, anything was better than his quiet boredom.
Kaharu got excited as he saw the caller's name displayed and picked it up quickly, answering the phone call.
Yusuke was on the other side of the call.
"Hey. I think I need some help, could you come?"
Kaharu, assuring himself that his previous thoughts were incorrect, answered brightly
"Of course!"
The conversation continued for a bit, with details and wishes being exchanged.
Kaharu quickly grabbed his tidy school uniform, and with hopeful steps ran outside to the location Yusuke provided him with.
…
As Kaharu arrived at the scene, he quickly observed who was present. Yusuke, with three people in front of him. They looked older than the person he was there to save, around his own age perhaps. He couldn't really tell, but it didn't matter. His ideal was to be fulfilled, and the thoughts he inherited from the fight with Kosuto would be burned in a destructive strike from lightning.
Kaharu quickly inserted himself in between the two parties as he said
"Whatchu idiots doing, huh?"
His demeanor was intimidating, with a twisted face to prove his seriousness. The three teenagers smiled in arrogance as they said
"One ugly-looking student versus us three? Step out of this, dude. We're talking."
Kaharu, despite receiving a tug of his uniform, quickly stepped forward with anger and confidence in the forefront of his actions. As if the sky could sense the escalation in attitudes, the rain started to fall ever so slightly, drawing Yusuke's head up toward the sky.
A fight quickly started as the teenager in the middle received a loaded punch to his face. With utter chaos drawing inspiration from the scene, the other two went down in similar fates. Experiencing both electrical powers jolt into their bodies, and a self-justified smile constantly flashed to them, they fell to the ground in pain. With the rain accompanying them on the ground, they didn't bother to stand up. All of their confidence had been completely destroyed. Kaharu swept his blonde hair out of the way from his eyes as he turned around to a shocked Yusuke.
"What are you doing!?"
"I helped you, by defeating them..."
Yusuke's eyes were drawn up to Kaharu's face as he said
"I told you specifically not to---"
"I know, I simply defeated them. Why'd you call me otherwise?"
The air grew incredibly stale as silence took hold, Kaharu tried to keep his conviction in what he was saying, but for some reason, his insides were jumbled around as he spoke.
Yusuke displayed a very familiar face to Kaharu, one he'd have to see every day from everyone around him, one that was the complete opposite from that day on the bench when a brilliant smile was displayed from both of them, one that silently crushed Kaharu's heart as he tried to stabilize desperately.
He said
"I thought you'd have changed since last time we met. I thought you could help me, not necessarily through violence, but together with intimidation or something. Maybe that was stupid of me.
But…
You're dumber, Kaharu!"
He rushed away as quickly as he could, holding his feelings inside of him as water innocently splashed around his boots.
Kaharu stood still.
…
- He's the one who called me!
I didn't…
do…
any…
...-
Kaharu loosened his body as the rain quickly picked up its pace. Like whips being delivered to his entire body, he stood still. Completely quiet.
It hit him instantly.
Everything did.
The primary thought he had been hiding from himself surfaced to the top like a shark finding its prey.
- Everything's the same-
Kaharu started running as fast as he could, the wind blowing against him violently and the rain continuing to harass his body. The pain was nothing compared to what he felt inside of him, his most fearful thoughts and feelings suddenly bubbling up.
He'd gone through so much to get what he'd dreamed of, his fantasies that had built towards this for so long. The pain he'd tried to suppress with hopes, the sadness he'd tried to hide with the ambitions, and the thought of everything eventually getting better once he got that one thing he sought so hard.
Rain splashed even harder at the ground as Kaharu ran with all he could. He wasn't holding anything back at all, he didn't want to feel anything. He didn't want to slow down, and catch up to his thoughts and feelings chasing him behind him. He wouldn't shatter, he wouldn't break. He never wanted to experience that stuff again, he wanted to believe in better times, he wanted to believe in improvement.
There was no way he'd be stuck like that forever, right?
That was impossible, right?
He got the power to overcome anything, right?
To improve everything on his own accord, and be himself, and avoid isolation, and be happy, and everything
Right?
Feelings caught up to him as he reached the windy beach, with tall cliffs being the place he fell to his knees. Short-term energy had been depleted, only worsening his thoughts.
Kaharu looked at himself through a pool of water on the ground as wind harassed his ears and rain dug at his head, he thought to himself
- Nothing's changed.
Nothing at all, I achieved god-status, yet nothing has changed.
I'm still looked down upon.
I'm still dealing with my problems through violence.
I'm still rejecting everyone that comes too close to me.
I'm still blaming everybody for my own selfishness.
Why do I even exist?
What purpose does my existence serve? Why am I alive!?
Why do I live!?
For what?!
What's my goal?!
What's my motivation!?
WHY!?-
The fact that he was unable to answer the question regarding his existence got Kaharu completely quiet for a moment.
His ideals shattered in that pond in front of him. The idea he had of being a god, the inherent goodness, the strength to bear through anything, the divine conviction to pull through.
It all shattered right in front of his eyes.
He'd seen the cracks in emotions god's displayed very recently, he subconsciously knew what reality awaited him. The line Kunma recited to him before flashed in his mind quickly.
His state was returned to his eternal zero:
Powerlessness.
He had nothing, despite the strength beat what was in front of him. What was inside of him was out of reach, his heart was empty. Filled with nothing but petty hatred, subdued jealousy, and a deeply-stowed away happiness.
He charged his hand with the most amount of energy and slammed it at a nearby rock with all he had.
Rock bottom had been reached.