"Hey. Hey hey, hey, what's that?"
"Stop shaking me, I'm trying to drive."
"Hit the breaks! Now!"
"Why? I-"
The burly man slams on the breaks. The van squeals to a halt, rocking their precious cargo, along with the pair of lads sitting on the bench seat in the back, who promptly topple over. The sales rep (the burly man's co-pilot) fares a great deal better, mostly because she was already bracing for impact before he even figured out what was going on.
One of the two men groans theatrically. He's obviously not really hurt, but miffed enough to make some noise anyway. "The fuck was that, Bill?"
This man is the loud one of the two in the back; the one sitting next to him simply pulled himself up- and promptly braced himself to bolt out the back, if it turned out they ran over a pedestrian or something. Even now, he doesn't bother to say a word, ergo the quiet man.
The burly man, now dubbed "Bill," wags a finger vaguely towards the road ahead. "There's a goddamn deer on the dirt trail. Too hard to spot."
Hard to spot indeed. The time has only just lapsed into dusk, yet the dirt trail is practically underground thanks to the thick forest canopy overhead. One could mistake the hour for midnight, were it not for the few columns of light shining down wherever there it could find a gap in the leafy coverage.
The sales rep gasps. "Just look at it!"
Bill squints through the window and then whistles. Curious, the oher men pull themselves up, peeking over the drivers' shoulders.
Rather than a deer on the road, it could be said it was "a mangled two-thirds-of-a-deer on the road." These wounds aren't like anything the sales rep had ever seen. That was saying something, too, since she was raised out in the country, and this wasn't nearly her first gander at roadkill. The poor thing was gouged out long across the flank, with the forelegs ripped off entirely. Random cuts of hide were carved away, without rhyme or reason. Not much of the deer was even eaten, the good meat mostly untouched, no signs of gnawing, no traces of a hording predator ferreting away the fatty bits.
No, this deer was simply mauled and abandoned. Decimated.
"Sorry, sorry. We don't have time to ogle," she says, "I want to be out of here before whatever did that rounds back around."
"Yeah, I feel that," Bill says, looking over his shoulder. "You heard the lady."
"Fuck you, Bill," the louder one says, "you're not out of the running either. You could lift it with one hand!"
"You're the one who made me drive," Bill says, "your turn to do some work, aye?"
A new voice interjects, a quiet voice. "I'll do it."
Before anyone could argue- as if they fucking would- the quiet man navigates all the way to the back of the van. He carefully pops open the the trunk doors, and then hops out.
Then... nothing. They wait for the quiet man to reappear, gawking around, but he's nowhere to be seen.
Bill and the sales rep trade glances, and she's just about to say something when the quiet man pops up around the passenger side window, waving and pointing off to the side.
She cranks down the window. "What's wrong?"
He just shrugs and points back at the woods more emphatically. The sales rep cranes around, leaning out the window to see what he wants. Her eyes go wide.
"Oh, Jesus, are those all fresh?"
The quiet one shrugs. "I'm not going to go check."
Where the deer on the road was decimated, the veritable herd of dead deer trailing off into the woods were erased. They hardly looked like animals anymore... She counted the discarded legs, haunches, necks, and heads of no less than six deer, just scattered randomly through the forest for feet and yards away. There may have even been more, but the falling sun and thick canopy were enough that she couldn't make out shapes much further out.
Bill leans over her and notices what she's looking at. He starts on swearing.
"Hurry up and move that deer, let's make this real real quick," she calls out the window. "I'm half a mind to just turn around entirely."
The quiet one doesn't have to be told twice, hustling over to the dead deer. He drags it away, an act which leaves an uncomfortable burgandy puddle where the corpse used to be.
The blood, too fresh to be old, but pooled too thick to be a new kill. This must have been an hour or so ago, at least, so the creature that did it was unlikely to have stuck around... She didn't want to push it..
The sales rep waves the quiet one back into the van, and he hops back in, slamming it shut tight behind.
Bill slams on the gas, and they're right on back to driving.
"What's going on?" The loud one asks, confused. He never got a good look. The quiet one just shakes his head.
"Lot of dead deer," Bill says, "never seen anything quite like it."
"I have," the sales rep says, "but not with those sorts of injuries. Whatever's killing them... isn't doing it for food, I think."
"Wait, you've seen dead deer before?" The loud one asks, surprised. She rolls her eyes, but they launch into some quick small-talk about her ranch life, the sales rep indulging more to get her mind off of the grizzly scene than any legitimate interest in chatting with the man.
It helps make the rest of the trip go quickly, at least. They finally reach a clearing.
The customer lives in a mansion... if it could be called that.
On first glance, she was impressed, but on the second she noticed the decrepit condition of the place. It had to be nearly abandoned. An abandoned building caught in the dusk, deep in a woods full of mauled deer, so far away from civilization...
"Wow," Bill said, "sure is swanky. I expected a cabin."
"Really?" She says, "feels more like more of a horror story to me, a real horror story."
"Can I be the smart one who gets away?" The loud one asks. It's hard to tell if he's joking.
"You'd have to be smart," the quiet one says. The loud one rounds on him, but the van hits some nasty bumps, cutting off the conversation.
"Fucking potholes," Bill says, "and there's these tire gouges everywhere. Some chud gassed too hard in the mud." There's a crunch as the van drives over some debris.
"Be polite," the sales rep says, "even if this home is... odd, they're customers."
"Home'salright, and we don't know it was them," Bill grumbles, "I bet it was some no-good..." he traits off, wheeling into the grass outside the garden.
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He finally parks the van, close enough to be convenient, but far enough out they wouldn't trample the landscapers' fine work. For all the mansion itself was an absolute disaster, it sure had a beautiful set of rosebushes. Bill quite likes a nice garden.
The sales rep hops out, unruffling her clothes, checking her hair... Bill hops out after her, waving back the other men.
He follows her as she walks towards the door, trailing well enough behind he wouldn't intimidate the homeowners, but close enough to hear if she needed him to do something. That was the job, anyway.
As nice as the garden is, it's got way more bugs than Bill feels comfortable with. Big ones, the kind that skitter and hop. He remembers hearing about some news story, how having certain bugs around would improve the health of a garden, but he never really thought someone would actually try it. When they arrive at the mansion itself, he picks the spot that has the least tall grass or weeds.
The sales rep knocks on the door, or she tries to. It swings open, revealing some dude wearing overly formal dress clothes. He's sickly pale, and a bit short, and he gives Bill the creeps. From this distance, he can't make out many of his features, but... were his eyes red? Maybe they were some kind of contacts.
"Are you from this headset company?" The pale man asks. He wears a thin smile, without any teeth. It looks ingenuine.
"Uh," the sales rep says, clearly off balance, "yes, in fact, we've come for your complimentary installation and guided play experience! Congratulations on your purchase."
"Ah, that's nice," the pale man says noncommitally, "do you have the headsets with you?"
"Yes," she says, "and the consoles that power them. They're... quite heavy, so I have also brought my colleagues. Say hello, Bill." She points over to him. Bill waves.
The pale man doesn't so much as look away from the sales rep, staring at her.
"Thank you," he says, "and while I understand this much is our due, I don't believe we will require the service. Please simply bring them over."
"Sir," she says, "I must advise you that installation can be difficult, and even fairly strong individuals struggle to move them. Someone of your stature, I mean, ah,"
"Oh, dear," the pale man interrupts, "while I am thankful for your concern, I must insist." His smile deepens slightly, and Bill catches a flash of pearly whites. Good dental plan, at least.
"Holy fuck, you're a vthat will be fine," the sales rep says, stepping away and then back forward again, as if doing a little jig. Bill looks at her blankly, unsure what just happened. She turns to gesture at him awkwardly, almost mechanically, and waves. "Bill," she says, "can you help the other men bring over the consoles?"
"You sure?" He asks, giving her a long look.
"Of course, very sure," she says, "please."
Bill stares at her for a moment, but complies. While this is quite odd, she didn't say any of the warning words, and the homeowner didn't look dangerous. Meanwhile, the sales rep turns back to the homeowner.
"This comment is, uh, this is all very below my paygrade," she stutters out, "but has anyone told you that you look absolutely lovely? So lovely."
"Once or twice over the years," the irrefutable vampale man says ordinarily and innocuously, "and while I am flattered, we have business today."
"It's just-" the sales rep shivers, stepping back. This time, her body actually complies with the attempt. What's going on? Why was she feeling so... She collects herself, exhaling.
"I don't know what came over me," she says, "while your eyes are enchanting and I quite like the way your lips purse when you say the letter 'a', wait what the fuck?"
"Please continue," the man says gently, staring at her.
"I mean, I am a professional." She straightens her back. "I don't want to intrude."
"You are doing quite well, all things considered," he says, "I tend to have this effect on people."
"Oh," she blinks, "because you're a vavery hot man," she clutches her head, taking another small step back. "I think I should talk about something else, while we wait, like the game, uh..."
The man just stares at her. Now that she's seeing him in this light, his eyes look a great deal less pleasant, though she can't quite place why. Was he angry? No, he looked... hungry? That makes perfect sense. Nothing makes sense. The dots won't connect.
"Oh!" she says, suddenly alert, "you may want to be careful. When you drive back to town."
"Mmh," he hums, "and why might that be?"
"There were dead deer, actually, quite a few of them," she says.
All of the sudden, the pressure vanishes. As does the pale man's smile. The uneasiness intensifies.
"Dead deer, you say?"
"Slashed up. Really badly, half-eaten, not a pleasant sight, not pleasant at all. We moved one off the trail, but... they're probably going to wind up rotting and drawing back whatever killed them."
The man makes a noncommital noise, but his smile returns. "Sorry about that-" Sorry? For what? "-we sure have a nasty mountain lion problem. Messy eaters, aren't they?"
She blinks. What the hell? Everyone knew mountain lions went extinct in the area decades ago, so what kind of explanation was that? The sales rep starts to press him on that particular oddness but her tongue walks over itself for some reason. Instead, "May I come in?" She asks, stumbling forward. She reaches out to touch the man, and he leans back, as if inviting her inside...
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Racuous thumping, from straight above. It sounds like someone, or a great many someones stomping, all at once, or as though the rotty walls are collapsing in quick succession. Startled, the sales rep backs aways, worried the whole home is going to come down.
"Excuse me for a moment," the pale man says, grimacing. He turns around on a swivel and takes a few steps back inside. Oh, right! The mountain lions... ah, well, it was a bigger priority to just do the sale and get the hell out of here.
The pale man cups his mouth and shouts "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU DAFT BASTARD," up at the ceiling. Then, brushing himself off, he steps back to the door, already with that polite smile back on his face.
She blinks at him, shocked. Was that the same person she'd been speaking with this whole time?
"I thank you for your invitation, but my roomate can be... incorrigible, and I would like to make this ordeal as painless as possible."
She nods vigorously. Coincidentally, Bill makes it back with the consoles right around then, with the quiet one and the loud one in tow. Burly as he may be, he's got one hand on each console box each for their two, he still needs the other two men's help to so much as lift them. It's an impressive sight, either way.
"Wonderful," the pale man says,"so just bring them up here."
Inexplicably exhausted, the sales rep ignores her training and waves them up, walking out of the way. Bill gawks at her.
"Just let him have them, we're nearly done here," she sighs.
When the strongmen get close enough for the pale man to take hold, he slides his arms beneath the consoles, one each. An odd way to carry them, but Bill notices he seems awkward about actually leaving the house... ah, he's barefoot! Still, no way he could get those heavy ass consoles with one arm each, could he? Before he can object, the louder one lets go of his end, smirking. Bill waits for the clatter and screeching, but quickly he realizes that the weight isn't tipping away. Actually, it felt easier to carry than before.
The pale man doesn't so much as wince at the effort, even when Bill lets his grip of that console box go.
"Damn son," Bill whistles, "that's some gains."
"Yes," the pale man says, "I was once a bodybuilder."
"No shit!" The loud man laughs. The sales rep glares at him and he's much chastened. They'd probably have words about this later, even if the homeowner was a weirdo, you couldn't go around potentially maiming them, or just being quite so obnoxious.
"Ah, it was a long time ago," the pale man says, "I'll take the other, thank you very much."
Bill squints at the man. He couldn't be a day over twenty one, for all of his beautiful? What? His ethereal features were enticing, so... Bill shook his head. Yeah, with looks like those, the pale man would have to be a vangel or something, and he didn't spot any leathery wings. He felt a sudden urge to recite shitty pickup lines.
Biting his tongue, Bill nodded at the quiet man, who let go on his end. The pale man took the weight away effortlessly, going so far as to stack the square cases up atop each-other, to better fit through the doorframe. It gave him the impression of a particularly hefty pizza delivery, which belied the fact that these "pizzas" have to weight at least half a ton, put together. Even the quiet man has to whistle at that.
"Thank you for you services," the pale man says from behind the stacked machines. Bill exhales, relieved. The pale man wasn't nearly as "confusing" with his face hidden... Bill really didn't want to have to think things through, as it were.
"I look forward to doing business with you in the future." The pale man steps back, then paused. "Do I have the headsets?"
"Ah," the sales rep says, "yes, very good. They're embedded into the top of the console. It doubles as a charging dock."
"Will charging be a problem?" He asks.
"No sir," she says, stepping around back onto the trail. "More of a formality. They can run for seventy two hours consecutively, at full energy use."
"Quite good," the pale man says, "I'm more used to thirty minutes a charge, ha ha."
Not in this decade, the sales rep thought. She smiles at the stack of consoles and just corrals the rest of the crew, pushing them back torwards the car. "If we can't help you," she says, "we'll be going now. I wish you an enjoyable evening with your new system. If you have any additional inquiries..."
"Yes," he says, "I will give you a call." Her heart flutters despite the absolute existential dread that wormed into her spine when she saw how Bill was reacting to the homeowner. Shit.
The pale man shuffles back and vanishes into the house. Almost literally- the mansion is nearly devoid of light. The door slams shut.
"Wow," Bill says, "what was that, even?"
"I'm not quite sure," the sales rep says, "not sure, but for some reason, I can tell you what that absolutely wasn't."
They share a glance and she practically runs for the van, waving at Bill to hop in. He's quick after her, and obligingly starts the engine. The second the other men pile in the last bits of dusk light just so happens to give out, and the mansion is cast in a grim light. He hits the reverse, slams the gas, and they careen out to the trail at ludicrous speeds.
Bill winces. Thankfully it wasn't raining today, or that getaway would have left quite the mess.