That first day in Faerie was the longest and slowest Wil could remember. Even stopping the storm and passing out for a few days felt like a shorter period of time than that first trek across gorgeous meadows and rolling hills, all while their earnest tour guide pointed out the sites of big battles, or a river where a battle of wits had ended with the richest gnome in town robbed blind, or a million other little stories.

They were nice at first, and Wil had been interested enough to follow along with each of them. Halfway through the day Wil found himself immediately forgetting details. By sunset, Wil and Darlene were both exhausted down to their bones and ready to call it for a day. And they were soon to come to a shelter, if Syl was to be believed.

“It’s right around the corner, we just gotta cut across a bridge and then shuffle sideways into a hedge and we’ll have a place to rest for the night, and all the food you can eat!” Syl promised.

“Oh, is that all?” Darlene grumbled. She’d finally taken off the spectacles and given her eyes a rest partway through the day. She kept one hand on her weapon at all times, even with their tour guide’s assurance of their safety. Wil supposed he couldn’t blame her. “You said we were coming up to it soon an hour ago.”

“Yes, well, sometimes the land changes.” Syl didn’t miss a beat. “And it was soon. Not my fault your little human legs are slow.” He lolled his tongue out playfully, winking at Darlene.

Wil interjected before it could get ugly. “So tell us more about this place we’re staying. Is it safe?”

“Oh yes, it’s safe,” said Syl. “It’s where Julietta and Roberto had their tiff over teapots a few years back, like I was telling you. Things are better now, positively bliss and that’s what we’re counting on. Perfect day for it.”

“Oh. Right.” Wil nodded, remembering absolutely none of it.

Darlene saw right through him and didn’t look impressed, but she looked past Syl. The sound of rushing water caught their attention and sure enough, just around a corner of woodlands lay a huge bridge in the middle of a wide, roaring river.

It was right out of the stories they’d been told as kids, including the massive, ugly figure standing in the center of the bridge. Wil had never seen a troll in person before and the textbooks had very differing pictures, but the creature looming over them on a bridge could’ve been nothing else. He looked like a very large, bulk, almost hunchbacked man with yellowing tusks protruding from his bottom lip. The troll rested on massive forearms, fists pressed into the ground.

“You!” The troll bellowed, pointing at Wil. “Food or gold. Now! Or else.”

Darlene pulled out her iron bar, but didn’t get any closer. Even hunched over like that, the troll was a good eight feet tall. And with his bulk, he made even Syl’s tall, gangly form look puny and vulnerable in comparison. Wil stepped forward, pointing the horn of his staff at the troll.

“Neither. Get out of our way please. I don’t want to have to blast you.” After being attacked by Isom, Wil wasn’t feeling too charitable about threats.

Syl put himself between Wil and the troll, holding up his hands. “Hey hey hey, no need for any of that. So good of you to be willing to defend us wizard, but we’re in no danger. Why, that’s Marley’s girl’s cousin’s uncle’s boy right there. Sven, right?”

The troll blinked stupidly. “Yes?”

“Ah Sven, surely you remember me. From the last time I was around these parts, maybe fifteen years back.” The faun fluttered his eyelashes up at him.

Now the troll looked uncertain. “That’s a long time ago,” said the troll. “Do I remember you? Do I?” He leaned closer and sniffed deeply, big nostrils flaring. Sven the troll’s eyes widened. “You! Y-y-your ma-”

“No no, none of that Sven!” Syl said sharply. “Just passing on by to get to the celebrations. You keep doing a good job protecting the bridge, yeah?” He patted Sven’s arm patiently.

“Yeah, no. I mean no, yeah, of course,” the troll said, bowing and scraping to get out of the way. He bowed his head, motioning for them to continue. Syl mimicked him and motioned for Wil and Darlene to go. They did, and this time Darlene couldn’t keep her suspicions quiet.

“What the hell was that about?” she demanded. “He was ready to start something until he recognized you. Why does that matter? Who are you?”

With each question Syl shied away further. They continued on down the bridge, but Darlene wasn’t to be deterred. She pushed past Wil and nudged Syl. “C’mon, answer me!”

Syl looked to Wil for help, but the wizard just shook his head. The faun sighed and said, “It’s really not a big deal. I’m a man of many travels and the people around here know me well. It’s just been a bit, and he knows if he started something with me he’d have my family to deal with. And, well, he may be dumb but he’s not that dumb.” Syl let out a bleating laugh.

“Your family dangerous or something?” Wil asked.

Syl just waved him off. “Most families of note are dangerous, including mine. The big thing is Sven’s a good enough kid, has an honest job protecting that bridge and I just happen to be someone he respects enough to let me pass. Besides, rest is right around the corner. You two are tired right? Prepare yourself for the finest of faerie hospitality!”

Before Darlene or even Wil could protest, Syl all but dashed ahead of them. The two humans ran after him, calling out his name as he disappeared through a hedge. Remembering the directions, Wil went in sideways, arms held above his head. Darlene was right behind him, growling in irritation. He had half a dozen things to say when he came out the other side and froze. Darlene crashed into him shortly after, but she too froze when she saw what was going on.

It was a big farm, with a massive house off in the distance. And more than that, they weren’t alone. Dozens or even hundreds of short, warty people in various colors, from green to burnt orange. They looked almost like a human combined with a frog lizard thing. They weren’t ugly so much as weird and goofy looking, and Wil would’ve found their bulbous eyes and big mouths endearing if they weren’t narrowed in suspicion at him.

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“Julietta, Roberto!” Syl called out, arms spread like he was going to grab the next person he saw into a big hug. “Am I ever glad to see you two beautiful people. How is your anniversary going? What is it, fifteen years now of marital bliss and a buried feud? You know I couldn’t miss that for anything, and I brought a couple of friends you simply must meet.”

The faun squatted low, throwing his arms around a blue man and an orange woman. He squeezed them, making their round faces puff out even further. “Would you believe these two have never met a hobgoblin before? We’re making our way to Oakheart Spiral and taking in the sights along the way, and you have a great chance to be cultural ambassadors!” Around them, hundreds of eyes stared their way.

“Err,” Roberto (Wil assumed) croaked in a surprisingly deep voice, “welcome then, human.” Silence, then Syl coughed and Roberto jolted. “I’m Roberto, and this is my wife Julietta. You, er, you’ve come on an auspicious day. One of celebration and merriment.” His words were pleasant but his tone was just shy of being tortured.

Wil understood what was happening. Poor Roberto was being strong armed into welcoming them at a sensitive time. It was the last thing he wanted, but the manic grin on Syl’s half human face told him it was too late. The sun had all but set on this beautiful farm and there was a celebration they were crashing.

“I’m Wil,” said Wil, bowing politely. “And this is my companion Darlene. It is our very great honor to share in your special day, and to perhaps perform for you all as a way to show my very great gratitude.”

“Unless of course you’d rather we come back another time?” said Darlene, giving them an out. She recognized it too, and she didn’t like it one bit. “We wouldn’t want to impose.”

Julietta’s bulbous eyes slid over to her husband, and then over to Syl. She wet her lips, shuddering suddenly. “That’s not necessary. We’ve been shown great kindness and help in the past. It’s our pleasure to return the favor and pass it on. Be welcome and enjoy our hospitality.”

“Excellent!” Syl boomed. “Music!” and he clapped.

Somewhere in the back of the party there was a band and they obediently began playing. Horns and drums and loud crashing cymbals played gracelessly together, more in a bizarre mockery of music than any real song. But maybe that’s how they liked it there. The rest of the wedding party turned away from Darlene and Wil after a while, and the steady buzz of chatter joined the music.

“I don’t like this,” said Darlene, fists clenched at her sides. “It’s not just me, right? Was he threatening them? It seemed like he was threatening them.”

“It does seem that way,” Wil admitted under his breath. Syl remained with the couple, chatting and laughing uproariously. They looked more relaxed now, resigned more than anything. “But like, a distinctly non-threatening threat. An ‘I can threaten you if I want but I don’t need to’ kind of threat.”

“This feels like a set up,” Darlene hissed. “Like a trap of some kind. He’s not doing a good job of hiding the fact that he’s more than he says he is. And I want to know who and what.”

Just as Wil was ready to agree, a tug on his jacket had him turn around. There were three even more squat, round hobgoblins staring up at him with impossibly big eyes. Children, Wil realized. They somehow were so ugly they ended up cute. “Uh, hi there,” he said.

“Wizard?” the green hob in front croaked. “What can you do?”

Even in the land of Faerie it always came down to this.

Wil smiled and presented his staff. With just a little focus and imagination a miniature storm cloud floated a few feet above his head, gentle rain coming down and soaking Wil’s head and the staff. A tiny flash in the cloud and a bolt of lightning struck the staff, crackling violently.

The three children clapped their hands excitedly, one of them running around in circles with his hands flailing behind them. A pink Hob grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him forward. Wil ran along, trying not to trip. He shot an apologetic ‘save me’ look to Darlene, who just shook her head and laughed at him.

That put to rest any thought of talking to Darlene or interrogating Syl over who he was and what kind of influence he had. The children brought Wil around to their fathers and uncles and cousins who rested near the cooking pits where huge sides of meat cooked slowly and the smell reminded Wil of how little he’d eaten that day. There he repeated his performance with the storm cloud, which got some moderate applause, and also a challenge.

The hobgoblins weren’t huge on magic, but they were excellent at sleight of hand and conjuring and smothering fires. An especially jowly blue hob came up and juggled volatile fireballs, occasionally detonating them in midair or catching one in his mouth, where he’d swallow it and then his big cheeks and throat would bulge from the muffled explosion, all to a cacophony of cheers and laughter.

Well, Wil couldn’t let that stand, and played with illusions. The fire he conjured in the center of the hobs was real enough. The shape it took wasn’t, but a quick sculpting of the flames and everyone’s perceptions and suddenly it was a woman made of fire, dancing and swaying to the chaotic music playing in the background. The other hobs gathered around and oohed and awed before Wil made her explode in their faces, singing them harmlessly.

That got him a round of applause and a bottle of some murky brown liquid pressed into his hand as his new hob buddies slapped his back. Everything in him knew it was a bad idea to trust food and drink from strangers, but he’d been promised hospitality. And as much as he didn’t quite trust Syl, he trusted him to get him to Oakheart Spiral safely. The faun wanted it as bad as they did.

So Wil gave in and took a long drink of one of the foulest beers he’d ever tasted, coughing and sputtering when he was done to the amusement of everyone around him. He laughed good naturedly, letting himself be welcome and just join in with the festivities. One terrible beer turned into three and then the rest of the night went by in a bit of a blur.

Wil remembered grabbing a heaping plate of glazed, sweet, and savory meat, ringed with berries and greens and mushrooms. He devoured them all, hesitating only at the mushrooms and idly wondering if they would do anything weird to him. Later on, he’d blame the mushrooms for his decision to dance. In the end he was glad he did, because it reminded him that he’d forgotten about Darlene.

She was already on the dance floor when he stumbled out there, dancing with a ring of admirers. Wil wouldn’t exactly call Darlene a good dancer, but she was bold and fearless. Her dance was just as jerky and chaotic as the weird music and her short, spiky hair bobbed with the motions. Her freckly cheeks were flushed with the movement and Wil stood there for a minute, just watching his lovely girlfriend have fun.

The first bit of fun or relaxing she’d let herself have in the past week. Seeing Darlene dance lifted a weight off Wil’s shoulders. He pushed his way through the ring and joined her there, dancing wildly and using his staff as a prop and something to lean up against. Even drunk and caught up in the party he didn’t let it out of his sight.

Darlene saw him and laughed and moved up close, dancing directly against him in a way that seemed downright scandalous to the hobgoblins. The gasp that went through the crowd as they moved together made Darlene snort and collapse against Wil laughing.

“What happened to wanting to find out more about Syl?” Wil teased her.

“Oh shut up,” said Darlene, resting her head against his chest and squeezing him. “I don’t trust him but this is fun. We can interrogate him tomorrow. You said they care about hospitality, right?”

“Yeah, we should be safe.”

Darlene looked up at him with a playful smile. “Then…maybe it’s okay to have a bit of fun. Just for tonight.”