When he regained consciousness he was flat on his back staring straight into the sky. He immediately closed his eyes and did his best to pretend he was on Earth and everything was just a bad dream. Of course the sounds, smells, and signals from his own body wouldn't allow him to succeed.
Well, you've royally f*cked yourself this time, Be'larien... Huh? That's not right, my name is Be'larien...? The hell! MY NAME IS F*CKING BE'LARIEN!... Well... Sh*t. He couldn't remember his name from Earth, couldn't even think of himself with a name other than Be'larien. He remembered his entire life, everything else and everything about his family... except the family surname. Apparently that 'Life Story' he'd won wouldn't allow him to think of himself as someone other than Be'larien.
He sighed... and promptly ignored the sound of his new voice. As his conscious mind processed the newly implanted information about this universe, in particular his new race, Be'larien didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was made worse by the fact that his upgraded brain was processing that vast ocean of information incredibly quickly.
Thelossians were considered an extremely strange race, especially for humanoids, and for a number of reasons. First, Thelossians were the 3rd most powerful military force in the known universe. The 1st was the Enato'viri, an extremely rare race of energy beings that wandered the universe using their own bodies. A single Enato'viri could destroy an entire solar system with relative ease, let alone a military armada.
2nd place went to the Urg'ur'nuk, though that wasn't their name for themselves. As a giant aquatic race that appeared as a nightmarish cross between a crab and an octopus, their speech was incomprehensible to most other species. They held absolute dominion over their own home galaxy and didn't give a rat's ass for the rest of the universe. There were a small number of diplomatic space stations placed several thousand light-years beyond their galactic rim. Any ship or species not native to their galaxy that entered the galactic rim was inevitably destroyed, with the sole exception of wandering Enato'viri.
And then there were the Thelossians. They possessed the strongest military technology in the known universe. Not the largest military, not by a long shot, but still the strongest by far. The combat gear Be'larien had been so excited about was actually just what was provided to inactive members of the military, the equipment issued to active soldiers was at least Class VIII. Ultimately, Thelossians were only ranked 3rd because they didn't actively attack, they only fought defensively and in policing actions. And this is where part of the strangeness of Thelossians came from.
The Thelossians were an inherently peaceful species, and yet their entire society was based on their military. Every Thelossian was somehow a part of the military, and they vehemently adhered to its strict and somewhat complicated hierarchical structure. This form of society was made even more bizarre when you considered another prominent aspect of the Thelossian race.
Thelossians were, by far, the most libidinous humanoid race in the universe. There were semi-humanoid and non-humanoid races that outdid them, but no other humanoid race came close. The average Thelossian lifespan was about 1,000 Earth years, and they entered puberty around 20 Earth years old. Once puberty hit the Thelossian libido took off like a rocket and never came back down until the last couple decades of their life. Sex was so prevalent in their daily lives that if two Thelossians on the street took an eye for each other they'd simply move out of everyone's way and go at it right there.
It became even more ridiculous when you realized the Thelossian brain was so developed that they could fully enjoy sexual activity while still performing other complex thought, like designing the next generation of sub-space storage devices. Most other races considered a Thelossian business meeting synonymous with an orgy. Of course, most races that dealt diplomatically with Thelossians tended to just sit back and enjoy the show, as Thelossians were universally considered highly attractive among humanoids, even their most below average members. An ugly Thelossian would still be considered attractive to most humanoids. They were tall, svelte, had pointed ears with no lobes, impossibly luxurious hair, exotic cat-like eyes, no hair below the neck, a delicious caramel skin tone, had the most common five fingers and toes with two arms and two legs, and possessed an animal-like natural grace. But there was an aspect of their appearance that was extremely strange among humanoids, and the reason that Be'larien was contemplating how many times he'd have to kill himself to die permanently.
To most species, Thelossian men looked EXACTLY like Thelossian women. Bone structure, musculature, height, facial features, hair, even clothing styles, it was all the same. Even the hip, waist, and - *whimper* - breasts. Nor was there some subtle visual difference like an Adam's apple. The only way most species could tell them apart was to check between the legs. Men were still outies, and women were still innies. Not that that comforted Be'larien much.
Be'larien finally decided to stop pretending he wasn't SOL. Thanks to his new brain he was now capable of mutli-tasking in ways no human could ever dream of. While he was focused on pretending, other parts of his mind were analyzing everything he heard, smelled, and felt, and even cataloguing the information and skills he'd acquired at the cost of pain beyond imagining. And all those parts were telling the pretending part it was being a pathetic little sh*t. So he opened his eyes.
Opened his eyes on a lime green sky with pinkish tinted clouds, and countless vehicles zooming through it. Though no sound of them was heard thanks to a clear translucent barrier. As Be'larien turned his vision toward the ground, he realized he was in a park of some sort, or he assumed so. He was laying on a form of dark blue grass, there were tiled paths winding around, and there were trees with blue, pink, and crimson leaves, as well as colors that had no relation to the human language because they were in the ultra-violet spectrum, courtesy of his new Thelossian eyes.
When he started to turn his head to take in everything else around him, he saw something that nearly made his hearts stop. Yep, hearts, plural. There was a giant deer. That's right, a GIANT, F*CKING, DEER! It was laying down, it's nearest part just a few feet back from where Be'larien's head was resting on the grass, apparently taking a nap of its own.
If standing, the thing would've been at least 10 meters tall and more than 20 meters long. It's fur was a black so deep it seemed to suck in the light, with tiny specks of silver making it look like a twinkling night sky. The antlers looked to be made of some white crystalline material, with veins of silver running through it. The creature was both awe-inspiring and terrifying.
Seeming to have noticed Be'larien's attention, the deer's eyes opened as it turned to look at him. Those eyes made Be'larien freeze like a steel statue. Eyes that were beyond his ability to truly comprehend. Ancient, wise, wondrous, all-seeing, so many things, all contained in a blue so deep and pure that your soul almost fell into it like the ocean.
Without rising, the deer stretched its neck toward Be'larien. It stopped just a few inches away from his body, and let out a huff of hot air that Be'larien felt across his entire form and ruffled his hair. Be'larien wondered if he wouldn't have to commit suicide after all. Then the deer proceeded to, very gently, nuzzle against Be'larien's side before returning to its original position and resuming its nap. Huh?
Well, ask and ye shall receive, the information Be'larien needed suddenly appeared from the mass of data he'd just been inundated with. This was Hasa'renalim, his familiar, otherwise known as Hasa for short. He was a Star-Treading Deer, a race that, while not as rare or powerful as Enato'viri, still traveled the universe using their own bodies. Not that they weren't powerful, a single Star-Treading Deer was evenly matched with the Thelossians' most advanced warship.
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As this realization dawned on Be'larien, he began to feel it, the connection, and it promptly blew his mind. Brother, father, son, friend, all this and not, Hasa was a part of Be'larien's soul, and he was a part of Hasa's. The feeling was new, indescribable, and overwhelming. It was like a part of him he'd never known was missing was suddenly there, making him whole. Loneliness, there was no more loneliness. The thing everyone sought love and acceptance to so desperately banish, was gone. Hasa knew who Be'larien was perhaps even more intimately than he knew himself, accepted all of him, and would always be with him. Not even death could truly separate them. Without knowing when, tears had started pouring without end from Be'larien's eyes.
With this new feeling washing over him, Be'larien began to think, maybe he could live. This body, this race, were a massive blow to who he was as a human. Something so contrary to who he was that even if he hadn't killed himself, he still would have started chasing death on a daily basis, whether consciously or subconsciously. But Hasa was here, and so maybe he could live.
That knowledge made Be'larien think that the system, or the being behind it, had given that last gift of a familiar intentionally for this outcome. A blatant manipulation. And yet Be'larien couldn't really be angry about it, because Hasa was here.
Gathering his courage, Be'larien sat up and finally took stock of himself. It was even more daunting than he'd imagined. In almost knee-jerk reaction his hands immediately went to his crotch, and then he practically sighed with relief. His little friend was still there, and he'd gotten an upgrade at that. He was roughly 12 inches, and that was when soft. It was almost enough to make Be'larien smile. But as he took in the rest of his body he grimaced instead.
From a purely visual perspective, his body was 100% female, and a heaven-defyingly gorgeous female at that. He'd gotten his request for muscle definition, but he almost wished he hadn't. It only made his long, smooth legs and arms look that much more appealing. His hands and feet were not dainty by any stretch, but possessed some wild grace of form that would have given any fetishist a heart attack from excitement. His stomach was well-defined, but it took absolutely nothing away from the appeal. It just made the beauty and grace shift closer to something sleek and wild, like a panther. And his hips and the attached ass would likely cause other men - *shudder* - to lose motor control and fry their brains.
And then the breasts, oh dear motherf*cking god, the breasts. The terrible things had to be at least D or DD, and they had a firm, perky, suppleness that seemed to defy gravity. He knew this because they weren't contained in a bra. In fact, he couldn't even consider his 'top' to be clothing. It was just a few straps of black cloth that went over his shoulders and around his sides, but really only covered his nipples. And it was so loose that even a mild breeze would grant anyone around an unimpeded view.
The 'shorts' were just as bad. They were closer to skintight underwear. They were made of what seemed like a shiny black substance that rode extra low on his hips, barely managed to cover his ass, and displayed his package so prominently that others could visually tell he was male. He only knew this wasn't underwear because there was a garment underneath it, an ultra-thin silky-soft item where most of the material only contained his package and the rest was practically string. To make matters worse, by Thelossian standards this outfit was comparable to a button-up shirt, slacks, and a tie. True casual daywear on the level of a t-shirt and shorts seemed to amount to little more than a thong and no top whatsoever.
His shoes were black sandals with 2-inch heels and straps that climbed his calf, making his legs look even more enticing. There was a thin silver bracelet on his left wrist that he assumed was the Holographic Omni-Net Bracelet. He reached his hands up to feel his face, and even without a mirror he could tell his features were amazing. He felt his ears, which had no lobe and rose almost to the top of his head before forming a point. There were two earrings in each ear, some kind of gem-tipped stud. And his hair was apparently styled into short spikes so he couldn't see the color, but it felt more like luxurious fur than hair.
Be'larien could practically feel the steam coming out of his ears from shame. He knew he looked like hot sex served on a silver platter, and that pretty much summed up the Thelossians as a race. Perhaps the only thing preventing him from slamming back into a spiral of depression, other than Hasa, was the knowledge that Thelossians were strictly attracted to the female form. The standard male appearance was about as attractive as cockroach guts to them.
And still, through all this chaos in his mind, there were still parts of his brain thinking about other things, taking in the environment, and continuing to sort his information download. God, can I really do this? Deciding to continue the exploration of his new self, if for nothing more than morbid curiosity, Be'larien spoke.
"Testing?..."
... What the f*ck was that?! It was my own voice, and one word at that, yet it contained a basal purr that sent a chill up my spine and another bolt straight to my groin. What the f*ck is up with this race?! They practically eat, sleep, and breath sex and yet they're effectively the strongest military force in the universe? How the hell does that work?!
Be'larien was nearly freaking out from his own voice, causing him to pant. The sound of his panting was so scintillating that it just drove him even more crazy. God, I can't f*cking deal with this! I just can't! I-
His internal rant ended with a rumble behind him that had Hasa sliding his side up against Be'larien's back. Hasa then bent his head around and nudged Be'larien with his nose until he was resting in Hasa's fur. Be'larien received what he realized was a telepathic impulse from Hasa encouraging him to calm down and relax. So he did his best.
Oh, my, god. Hasa's fur is amazing. It's like being wrapped in the warmest, fluffiest cloud ever. I just want to roll around in it and- He bolted away from Hasa's fur as he realized his brain was going to terrifying places. His face was burning and he felt new tears forming in his eyes. The f*ck is wrong with me?! Hasa's trying to comfort me and my brain is sinking into the deepest gutters! THIS, F*CKING, BODY!
He was clenching his teeth and gripping his forearms so tightly that he'd soon be ripping the flesh out with his own fingers. But Hasa interrupted him again as his nose once more nudged Be'larien back into his fur. A new telepathic impulse came, a stronger one than before that seemed to convey only pure meaning, the gist of which was, Relax. It is okay. You are Thelossian. It is natural. Acknowledge it, accept it, and then you can let it go.
The thought carried with it Hasa's acceptance of Be'larien and all that he is, was, and will be, causing Be'larien to practically melt back into Hasa's fur. Be'larien wasn't entirely sure yet how he did it, but his own telepathic thought returned to Hasa. Thank you, my dearest Hasa. I know that in truth we've only just met, but you are likely the best thing that ever has or ever will happen to me. Hasa let out a light snort that conveyed in perfection his amused, yet joking, agreement.
Relaxing into Hasa's fur, Be'larien did his best to empty his mind and just... be. At least for a moment. Taking a deep breath, Be'larien remembered his reasons for coming to Freedom Universe. He had been a fat, balding middle-aged man who'd wasted his potential and life in a world that was slowly decaying from within. He'd come to Freedom Universe for unlimited potential and the chance to pursue individual knowledge and power far beyond what the Earth could imagine, and the goal hadn't changed. Sure the realities of his chosen race felt like the heavens had taken a giant sh*t on him, but that didn't negate the qualities of the race that had led him to choose it in the first place. Being Thelossian was still the best head start toward achieving a realm beyond the mortal, a realm that could create and destroy at will. It was an exceedingly far off realm, but in Freedom Universe it was a realm that really existed.
Finally reaching a point where his every other thought didn't involve his own death, he figured it was time to start paying a more thorough conscious attention to the information that had been jammed into his soul. Making himself comfortable in Hasa's fur, though it was basically impossible NOT to be comfortable in Hasa's fur, Be'larien decided he'd start with one of life's most important questions. Who am I?