What would you do if you are about to have a breakdown on a very bad streak of shity days, and you see the problems you are facing and have a thought ahh i would love to be like that character in a novel and just get that one opportunity to make my life better no mater wot it is, that is me. 

But then you calm down and think about family: your brother, sister, mother and then your mind wonders about how did your father make it happen how was he always composed and standing tall like a pilar of the World’s greatest temple? 

Well, it does not mater I am not him, though do not get me wrong I love my dead father and I love my whole family we still think about him and my Gramps even now after that tragic event 5 years ago. 

It all Started two days after my happiest day, in the past, it was after my graduation party, I was finally happy because it was the ending of that torture of a school

you see I was not the most popular boy nor was I the lowest in popularity I was always in the middle that golden middle, if you are somebody like me you would know what I am talking about.  

In my class there where not many teenagers there was 20 of us.  I remember their names like it’s today,

I’m not like other bullied people and try not to remember their names I remember them so much that if I saw them I would know their names and greet them properly and not be seen as an idiot because i was thought to keep good relations with all the people you meet in life even if you show them the mask that they think is real because you can never be sure when you are going to need that mask.

You might wonder if I am a manipulative Mfker, but no I am was not like that because man cannot hold the mask on his face all the time there were moments when it came off when you felt that belonging in the group but it didn’t last and it came up again why you might ask ?

Its survival! it’s a state of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances. Though I took that Survival on another level and in school

there were a lot of Ordeals! I made friends wit bully>Stefan and the victim>Josh at the same time, why you ask with the victim well I’m of kind heart and I don’t wish for the idiot to escalate the situation and bring me in it.

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You see in my mind there was always the thought wot if this Mfka loses his shit like that kid in the America and brings a gun to the class and starts shooting, I would like that to not happen while I am in the class and see their twisted faces in pain, fear overflowing their souls and blood pooling under the dead classmates bodies, and think wot would have been their future.

I was just pitying the man because I felt his grief and sadness of not belonging, I was sympathizing because that was how I felt a lot of the time wit the bully you see he had that twisted sense of playing with people or to better word it dominating them and using them like they are worth less than he is.

Why was I friend wit the bully?

Its protection you see if you see how to exploit bullies blind spot he becomes the shield for the other bullies tolerate the small shit and you survive the school.

that is how I did it, though you can find a true friend that is good at sports and never worry about all the other shit except the tests if not than I think my way is the gold because if not then maybe if you are lucky, you get one rough treatment if not you are fked for some time, that happened to me when I was small child I was bullied for a long time in middle school and when it ended I used this tactic to get by. 

Don’t get me wrong they are both humans and will see their wrong in time some apologize, some don’t, some don’t see it until its too late I was lucky and had that apology, from then on i had to adapt to other people and survive this world.  Because of the little things called social norms and law. I don’t know how would i have turned out if the Law and Social norms were different.

It Truly is like animal kingdom  Alfas, Betas, Deltas and the last ones Omegas where I think I mostly belong in because they are like all three of them together, in summary I was delta then beta and I used alfa without his knowledge.  

Back to the 5 years tragedy after my Graduation my father got arrested for rape, though I still don’t see how that could have happened because after the reports from doctors the girl was a virgin even after the alleged rape so he ended up in prison for some twisted sense of law.

He my father who was the Pilar of our house was crushed and sentenced to 8 years in prison, I was crushed with him my whole world collapsed the trust in people,future I hoped for all collapsed,

I was devastated for one whole year and after I started recovering myself I heard of his passing on my older brothers day before birthday, he didn’t even make it to second year I felt such a big wrath at the bitch that set my father up that i wanted to hunt the girl down and kill her, tear her to pieces that none could recognize.

The wrath was immense but all that it took to water it down was my mothers and sisters tears to calm me down to ice cold and think to not get like him in jail. So, I continued living like nothing happened, the girl moved from where she was living and I didn’t hear about her again.

 Few years went by I got a job with my brother in law working as a welder.

Once I was in the job I thought it would be different I started making some muscle and I thought I would make some kind of an impact and get a move on with my life but no it’s the same like in the school all over again animal kingdom for 5 fking years making money so you can be a good slave to a government and you get the same fking people to shit on you every single day, and this one was special because my fortune or unfortune wot ever it was got a massive turn around, and I would make the most of it. Even if I have to start over.