Countless lives have flashed before my eyes, transforming into a terrifying emptiness. There is no such thing as a self inside me anymore. I am merely a shell compared to the first life I ever lived; at least that is what I believe. All the memories became blurry after the thousands of years I endured. The very first name people called me used to be the only thing keeping me sane, but how long has it been since I have forgotten it?

‘Immortal’ is all they call me during this era, and they will keep this name up for an unknown amount of time. I lost the will and energy to keep this hellish curse of mine a secret. There is no use in playing a role anymore or running from this life. Right here, right now, on this throne, built by the people, lies my eternal prison.

I do not blame the mortals for worshipping me; in their shoes, I probably would‘ve done the same. In the end, the thing mortals fear the most is death, or rather, the uncertainty of what happens afterwards. While they fear death, it feels like I am imprisoned in a beautiful dance with life itself. Our movements in sync with the music only the two of us will ever be able to hear. A perfect harmony, which could be a gift or rather an incredibly stunning performance, if it weren’t for my longing for another dance partner.

Death always creeping near me, similar to a forbidden temptation I will never be allowed to approach or give into at all.

Life keeps me in its grasp, just like a winner would hold their trophy.

All I crave is to be able to give into that wonderful, forbidden temptation.

„You are still as beautiful as the day I first saw you," an old man suddenly spoke to me as I was pulled out of my thoughts. I knew his face well—almost too well for my own sake. Aged like the finest of wines, he stood in front of my throne with the brightest of smiles one could imagine. No one knew better than me how painful these feelings would be in the future, as I saw him wither away just like the flowers he gifted me on the day we first met. That day, he was still a young child, and even in his early days as he became an adult, he was stunning, just as stunning as he was now that he stood in front of me.

“Yet your eyes are filled with such void." He finished his sentence, and I let out a soft sigh. He was right, despite the fact that I had certain emotions for this man that I should not have for my own sake; they were overshadowed by the side effects my life had on me.

I got up from my throne. The long robes I wore slit across the clean marble floor. It was so polished that my own reflection was staring back at me. Almost like an evil twin spectating me from a different world.

A world with a greater story in which my life served a purpose and after said purpose welts away like a flower.

I reached the old man and gazed down upon him. While I had forgotten many things, could I ever bring myself to forget this man. His smile when he was just a child and his devotion towards me when he got older. Despite my disgustingly detached demeanour he never gave up on me. Every second day he would visit—greeting me with a smile so warm and welcoming it would probably be capable of melting infinite amounts of ice.

It hurt to see him shrink and age, yet he never once lost his breathtaking beauty.

“You would be the same if you forgot who you are”, I whispered as I bent down and rested my head on his slumped shoulders. He was so warm, while my own body felt so cold. I felt his hands play with the cloths wrapped around my body, entangling his hands in it further and further.

This was an old habit of his, since he was a young man he would love to play with the royal clothes I’d wear. All of the details, the embroidery and the ornaments would fascinate him. And how much I loved the expression on his face when he got lost in his own thoughts while running his hands across the golden threads forming said details.

Never in my long life have I ever encountered a mortal, who was capable of captivating me this much. Not even my first love held such power.

“I probably wouldn’t have kept my sanity as long as you have Zyphor.” My heart skipped a beat as my body jolted up from its sluggish position. I could not identify the sudden feelings, which almost suffocated me. It felt as if my heart was about to break my rib cage and before I knew it warm tears streamed down my face.

How long has it been since I last cried?

How long has it been since my heart was filled with so much joy that it could jump out of my chest at any time?

How long has it been since I felt so much?

This one single sentence—no rather this one word just changed everything.

Memories flooded back into my mind just like the tears flooded my eyes.

“How just how did you find out?”, once again my voice was nothing but a whisper though this time it was not planned. I was simply so overwhelmed that this was all I was capable of.

This man, this man I came to appreciate so much had just spoken my very first name. The very first identity I have ever had—the one my mother gave me. It wasn’t just my name he had found, but it was as if he had dug out all of the memories I had long forgotten about my very first life as I like to call it.

Back then I ceased to age at 24. I have kept the same face for all this time, yet I had forgotten the way my mother and father used to look at it. The way they looked at me while I was dancing on the fields more beautiful than any woman stepping in front of our thrones ever could. Even when I would fight for our kingdom my movements would feel like a dangerous dance.

When did I stop dancing? That I don’t know, but finally oh finally do I remember who I used to be.

A young prince sitting upon our kingdom's throne next to a loving mother and kind father. There rarely was any conflict in our land and it was peaceful. Peaceful until I stopped ageing…

In the ancient times, with old beliefs there was no way this could ever happen to a human. They threw around labels like tomatoes are thrown at a bad actor. We were demons, witches, hellbornes and at some point I even got called satan. Anything people did not understand was immediately considered sinful.

I still recall wondering why I had to be evil. Couldn’t my immortality be something godly and holy? Why did it have to be rotten instead of divine?

At this point I no longer ask myself this question. After all, how could something so torturous be divine? The people were always right in the end I assume.

The last days I lived as Zyphor became more and more clear every minute I spent being captured in my own thoughts and slowly but surely vague images became more clear and detailed, while emotions almost felt more intense than they did now.

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The atmosphere was heavy and it felt as if someone put extra weight on my shoulders. We were in the throne room surrounded by the ones we used to call allies or even friends. Their eyes filled with fear and hatred and their bodies trembling. Was it the fear or was it something else?

“How long did you plan to hide your sins, Theron?!”

I could not identify who the one speaking was or rather I could barely grasp the situation any further. My heartbeat was echoing in my head just like my favourite music once did, just not as beautiful. It felt as if my stomach had turned upside down and even my vision betrayed me in such a crucial moment. I have fought in wars without hesitation, but who could’ve prepared me for my own people staring at me with such resentment?

People I used to laugh and drink with now picked up their swords against me, like they used to do in the fights against monsters. In their eyes I was the monster they had to defeat.

But I meant no harm! I did not intend to be like this!

Would they believe me if I told them? Maybe they would…

However, it was already too late, while my mind was running wild and my panic arose, the conversation in front of me had continued. Apparently talking things out was never an option for our people and my eyes widened as sounds of dripping blood became a symphony with the heartbeat in my head. The blood stained the royal carpet beneath our feet—it was once white and gold, but now it was nothing but red. In a trance I watched the puddle of blood seep into the thick fibre.

Seems like my mind was trying so hard to distract me from my father’s lifeless body, which had dropped to the ground.

“Run Zyphor! Run, please!” It was my mother’s voice commanding me, yet despite wanting to oblige I couldn’t. My body was not moving, it was all stiff and the only thing running was my mind. I doubt that's what she meant while calling out to me. Was my will to move not strong enough? Or was I in a shock that wouldn’t let me do anything?

I don’t really know…

My mother’s eyes were filled with tears as she sprinted towards me embracing me in a warm hug. For a moment it felt like we were back on the field where she had hugged me hundreds of times, but that was just a fool's hope.

We weren’t on the field, but in the throne room and while I was standing here wasting precious time my mother was cut with swords over and over trying to protect me.

Even as her body stopped moving and her lungs stopped breathing her hug still felt pleasant and warm.

Why did she even protect me? Why wasn’t she the one running?

There is no way their swords could hurt me—they never have.

So why did she not just flee?

A sudden darkness enveloped me.

Was everything just a bad dream? Yeah that must be it!

As soon as I open my eyes my mother will smile at me and guide me to our breakfast table filled with the most delicious meals anyone could ever dream of.

This was gonna happen! All the blood was simply a nightmare.

Maybe if I keep repeating those words in my head they finally turn into reality.

I would try even though I knew my efforts were in vain.

As soon as the darkness released me I found myself in a place, which was both familiar and unknown to me at the same time. I was imprisoned in our own dungeon and chained against the wall.

Everything I declared as a nightmare was my new brutal reality.

“Enjoy the rest of your miserable life in shackles demon”, a man spoke to me. It was almost as if he spat his words at me. I guess what used to be the peoples’ appreciation had now turned into the purest form of resentment.

Days passed, weeks went by, seasons changed and people began to age. All that while I was still the same, in the same spot only my loneliness kept me company. I think at some point even the people of the village forgot about me. At least they stopped guarding me—not like I could escape anyways.

Only once the wall I was chained to collapsed was I free and began wandering aimlessly. I don’t know how much time had passed, but our kingdom was no more.

What happened back then was traumatizing, but I managed to overcome the things I saw and felt. Sure it was far from being an easy task, but it was necessary in order for it to never happen again.

That's how my first life came to an end.

It was a mesmerizing high and a terrifying low—yet it was my life. That was who I was! Zyphor, an ancient prince, who fell from his throne.

“It took me almost a lifetime to find it, but what can I say. I have always been determined to achieve and get what I desire”, the old man spoke with full confidence and for a quick second as I was standing there looking at him. It felt as if he was back to his younger self again. He was so proud of himself and for a very good reason, this man has found thousands of years worth of history.

But honestly, who cared about that?

With just a single word this man was able to pull me out of the swamp consisting of my own despair and suffering. What did I do to deserve someone like him? Such an angel.

“I didn’t think you could look even more breathtaking than you already did, but this expression on your face is something even gods would be jealous of.” I did not even realize that I was having a wide smile on my face. Apparently regardless of the tears still streaming down my face to him it was a gorgeous sight. My body almost moved on its own and before I knew it I hugged the old man as tightly as I possibly could.

There was so much I had to thank him for so much I desired to say, yet not a single word was capable of leaving my lips.

“Don’t worry about all the things going on in your head. Your eyes are enough to tell me everything I need to know.” Although I heard what he just said I finally found the right words to express all the chaos in my head.

I took a step back and smiled at my beloved old man as I began to open my mouth:

“Althar

I have lived more lives than you could ever imagine, met more people than you’d ever know—loved more people than one person ever should.

Yet despite all of that among the sea of faces I shall never forget you.

Never will someone mesmerize me as much as you did.

Never will someone make me smile as genuinely as I am right now.

Never will someone be comparable to you.

For you are as kind as an angel, as devoted as the sun rising each morning and as loving as my mother’s song upon laying me to rest.

Hereby I declare my love for you.

For you are the one who gave your life for the likes of me.

Reminded me of who I truly am while paying the one thing that is worth more than gold could ever be worth: Lifetime

You are the greatest and purest love I was ever able to experience and if I had to choose one of my ’lovers’ or ’loved’ ones to spend eternity with—Without hesitation I would choose you.

For you are a gift and a partner worthy of eternity.”

As I finished talking I got down on my knee and took his hand finishing off the declaration of love by placing a soft kiss on his hand. If I had a ring with me I would’ve asked to place it on his hand, but maybe that would’ve been a tad bit too rash.

He had turned his head away from me and attempted to cover up his face with the hand I was not holding, but his efforts were in vain. I could clearly see the red decorating his face. A self-confident grin formed in my lips as I got up.

“Will you dance with me? Thanks to you I finally remember just how much I loved to dance.” My question was answered with a shy and slow nod as I pulled him towards me.

I led him and without further thought my body began to move on its own like it was always meant to be. Gliding across the marble floor with the one I love in my arms. Dancing felt just like it did in my first life and for the first time in a while it felt like I was free.

The throne I called my prison disappeared, just like the world around us.

None of that mattered, not anymore. This was simply about the moment the two of us shared and the love for each other we would carry in our hearts forever.

Others would hear the echoing sound of our footsteps, while we were able to hear music only meant for the two of us.

Something inside of me felt so whole, unlike anything I experienced throughout the last millennium. A wish, which at last manifested itself in the form of Althar and maybe the last time my feet would ever slide across this marble floor.

Was it an instinct of mine to recognize this man as the key to my freedom?

Who knows, but finally I could give in to the forbidden temptation.

This was meant to be. We were meant to be and this dance would become my final one.

A final beautiful dance with death itself.

My movements became more and more sluggish as I felt my body lose all of its energy. The freer I felt, the less alive I became.

Yet I could not stop, since my goal just became reachable. So I continued on and on and on and on, until the last ounce of strength left this old body of mine. All wrinkled up now and just a shadow of my former self.

This. Yes this was an end worthy of someone who observed the rise and fall of civilizations.

And suddenly everything went dark and there was nothing except Althar’s voice.

“You were cursed with immortality and I was cursed to watch everyone die, who ever dared to love me.”

Truly a match made in heaven I’d say. At long last the illusion of my final dance with death itself turned into a beautiful reality.