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4 - Cold

Nothing felt real.

The unsettling sense of calm faded like cotton candy on a rainy day, giving space for fear to take over. The ground continued shaking for some more time.

When the tremors, stopped they took with them any sense of time.

There was no beating of my heart, no movement in my chest, gone was the need to blink or the ability to do so. Shapes danced and faces appeared and disappeared in the darkness. When I tried to hum to myself, there was no vibration in my chest but I still could hear the sound in my head.

I struggled, trashing and trying to lift myself, bracing my arms on what I believed to be the ground as I threw everything that I had against whatever was holding me down. There was no fatigue as my hands fought to find purchase, pushing and pulling pieces that dug into my hands without bringing pain.

I don’t know if I was delirious but I felt more space to move, the more it went on the more I could lift my body, It didn’t matter how much effort I put into it or how long I kept at it, my arms never tired or hurt, and in what felt so little but an unknown amount of time, I was finally with my arms fully stretched.

I finally could move around, it was by slithering, but it was better than being stuck in place, I used this newly acquired freedom to explore my tiny space. It took me a while to notice that I couldn’t move my arms, it felt like I was still bracing against the ground.

It didn't matter the effort, my arms felt rigid, stuck in place. I trashed around, trying to free my arms from whatever was holding them. Then I finally stopped feeling my arms, the stiffness, and the pressure were gone from them but I still couldn’t move them, I now lost any and all feedback from them.

Before I could investigate further, something started to drip from the socket where my arms should start, giving me feedback as it seemed to slither, dragging on the ground, after a few moments I felt them again, my arms once again felt whole, and as I moved them I struck something, something in my small space.

Two pillars were in here, standing where I was stuck.

My hands explored the pillar, it felt just like my skin, extremely smooth and unblemished. Using this opportunity, I finally felt my body. My head now had no hair, being strangely rounded, and my face was now something flat, that felt brittler than the rest of me.

This... A nightmare. I was scared, but not as much as I should. Kicking and punching the pillars and rubble only made dust fall on top of me.

The lack of any real feeling made everything feel wrong. Maybe I was losing my mind, but I was hearing something.

Reality slowly trickled back into normalcy, feeling returned, the irritation of dust in my eyes, the rise of my chest, the beating of my heart, the pain of metal piercing my feet, my hair touching my neck, and the sound of creaking.

Ever so slowly, dust fell on my head, and there was a loud snap as something hit my back and I was brought to my stomach. My breath was struck out of me as I coughed violently, feeling something blunt poking at my ribs, almost breaking them. Wiggling, I tried to free myself, I could feel something cutting my back, the burning of the new cuts, and something dripping down my back.

Gritting my teeth, I continued moving, trying to rid myself of the weight that wanted to crush me to the uneven stone-filled ground that cut my stomach and chest, after much pain and tears I finally moved enough to feel myself being not being crushed, I was slightly to the left, to where I knew one of the pillars to be.

There was barely enough space for me to wiggle my body, one of my arms was stuck below me and the other could barely move from my side, there was a burning on my chest from many scratches that I got from my small amount of movement.

With each breath I choked a little, I couldn't fill my lungs, and there was too much dust.

I could feel the edges of the rubble scratching my body with every little breath I took, and then there was the sensation of something cold dripping on my back, and shivering, I tried dodging but with my very limited movement, the liquid continued to drip on my head, and make its way down my back.

My head felt lighter like it was filled with foam and my strength was non-existent.

I felt too tired, so... Sleepy.

There were the sounds of more of the rubble collapsing, and my small safe space was taken from me, as my arms were now stuck to me. I could move my head but with that movement, I felt my neck and head and neck being cut by the jagged edges around me.

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I urged people to get away from the building as police started to set a perimeter and the rescuers started to examine the collapse, more than half of the building slopped downwards, some pieces seemed to have been crushed into dust while in other places pieces as larger than a fully grown man could be seen jutting out between the debris and far in the streets.

This building was not the only one, but the worst of the damage seems to be concentrated here, some of the buildings close by have rooms exposed to open air, which was already more than enough reason to evacuate them.

My job here was simple, make sure no one got near the remains of the building, how many times have people been found trying to move the rubble with their hands, their faces twisted in pain and grief, looking for their loved ones and getting in the way of rescue efforts.

As it got closer to sundown the sound of heavy machinery became louder, this time most of the debris was in large chunks. The dusted concrete made only the outermost layer of destruction, forcing heavier machinery to be brought.

The strangest part will come soon, the emptiness below all of this, the destruction happened at peak rush hour, but still, below this, it’ll be, if not totally, at least mostly, empty, not even blood or any body of their body parts to be found.

As the work proceeded, some people and bodies were found, but much fewer than expected, and only people still breathing, on death’s door, or recent dead bodies are found in these ‘phenomena’ as the media calls them for a lack of a better word. There have been some nicknames going around, some calling it the 'Final Collapse', 'God's Wrath', and some strangers calling it the effect of something happening on what they call 'The Colosseum.'

None have stuck, yet.

The longer this drags the more my mind wanders, guilt eats at me as that happens. This is a serious situation, but numbness has started creeping in when doing this.

Without even noticing my breath stops in my throat when I see someone ready to be pulled out, but even from where I am I can see that his stomach is impaled, he’ll not survive, as soon as that is removed he’ll die within moments, This is not the first and I doubt it’ll be the last time I’ll see this. He'll be kept distracted as someone tries to contact his family so that he at least tries to have peace when life leaves him.

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At some moment, while I was enthralled by the scene of trained professionals working, my phone started to ring, only now I noticed the vibrations in my pocket, I looked for someone near me and warned people that I had to answer a call and asked for someone to look over my place before I found somewhere with less noise.

Looking at the number I knew it to be my fiance by the picture of both of us on one of our vacations, accepting the call, “I’m kinda of occupied at the moment. What do you need?” His voice cuts out, but from the pieces I can understand, it's filled with worry and I can hear some panting, “Did you find her in there?” My brows furrow, I'm a little confused and ask for some explanation, “My sister. She said that she would be out looking for a job and asked me to babysit Diann, her little girl”

I hear him pausing to take a deep breath, “I said that I couldn’t and then she said that she would simply take Diann with her. A friend that helps her get some jobs works in the building that collapsed, did you find any signs of any of them?”

I pause for a moment, trying to process what I just heard, then I run to where all the rescuees are taken to, a medical area where people ambulances can be seen taking people. I ask for a description of my niece while I look for both of them, “Diann is very tall for her age huh… 1,45 Cm if I remember it right. Her hair is a very dark brown full of curls, and brown, maybe amber eyes, last time I saw her she was wearing a cyan dress and a baseball hat full of stickers on it.”

There are a lot more people being rescued than I expected, I see some kids, all of them either crying or frozen in confusion, crying for their family, but only being comforted by the paramedics and volunteers, but none of them got even close to Diann’s description, “I can’t find her… but don’t worry, we still have just started to clean here, we can still find them. now can you give me a description of your sister?”

I ran from tent to tent, but when the sun started to set and lights illuminated the whole collapsed area, I saw someone that fit Edina’s description. Long wavy hair, looking to be on the shorter side 1,80 Cm, dark skin. She was being sat down as people started to take care of her, I tried to see if get closer to her, see if it was really her, but as I tried talking to her I was moved back by the professionals.

After a few agonizing minutes, she finally seemed to come back to her senses, her wandering eyes took a few moments before she started to mumble before clarity finally returned to her eyes, “Diann… Sir, did you find my girl?”

She tries to stand up before being held down, she tries harder but puts a weak front, giving up after struggling for a few more moments, instead trying to convince the people holding her.

After a few moments, I raise my voice

“Breathe. We are continuing the rescue efforts, as soon as we are sure your life is not in danger you’ll probably be let go.” distress is visible on her face as I finish speaking.

I look her up and down, she is covered head to toe in the dust from the debris, her skin is painted a faded gray color, her hair is in disarray and there are some nicks and bruises but nothing that seems life-threatening.

Her voice is still very shaky when she tries to speak again "What happened? I was talking with Otto and… then… rubble all around me. It just happened" Tears start to well up on her face "Please…l" Her hands reach to the paramedic closest to her as she cries uncontrollably while holding onto their hand.

The young fellow whose hands are almost being crushed by Edina tries to calm her down, he says some reassuring words, she's still in heavy distress, but… she does start taking some deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

Using that opportunity, I left the tent seeing that she was as well. As soon as I’m outside I call my fiance to tell him that we found his sister, he still sounds worried sick but I can hear the relief in his voice "Good… I'm telling my supervisor what happened and I'm driving to be with her right now."

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Everything feels so cold.

The dripping never stopped, the water just got colder with every moment, it felt like someone was sitting on my chest and my fingers burned and felt hard to move. Some time ago the rubble started to shake and more water and dust started to fall on me, the small trickle became a constant stream down my back, my body shivered non-stop, and with all the dust I couldn’t stop sneezing, one of my arms is fully underwater now.

My teeth hurt.

I'm so sleepy... But there is too much noise, the ground and the rubble around me don’t stop shaking, the freezing water doesn’t let my body stop shivering, and with every little movement, my body gets more cuts.

The more dust, the more I sneeze, and the harder it is to breathe, after every breath I feel it’s harder to breathe deeper, I just want to sleep but can’t.

"Mom... I'm tired."

The noise doesn't stop, the stream of water gets stronger after a particularly strong sound, I hear more creaking from the round pillar close to me as I feel all the rubble around me getting closer, moving my head gives me even more cuts and it feels good, my blood is warm.

The noises get closer again, and my breathing is shallow but I take the deepest breath I can, and scream, my throat hurts and I can barely hear my own voice, I choke as I breathe in to scream again, the water never stopped and is now taking half of my little safe space.

My teeth clatter and I cannot rest my face on the ground or water fills my mouth, my neck hurts from holding my head up and my head is constantly being cut by the constant shaking.

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Most of the debris was already moved by now, machinery moved to clean the largest of debris, the debris that made the core of the building. While walking at the edge of the disaster I hear a faint sound.

I can’t be sure if I’m imagining it, but over the sound of machinery and the voices of the people working, it stands out. I stop and try my hardest to listen, I’m still unsure but I call the person closest to me.

As some people come near me we try to find the origin of the sound, and we find the direction of the sound, near the center of the disaster, the area is littered with the largest pieces of debris. This is troublesome, the person who I hope to be my niece is in a difficult place, they'll have to be very careful to not move something wrong and crush them by accident.

The machines move slowly and stay at the edge of the accident, things are laid down to stop more things from collapsing, and work continues well into the depths of the night. Shifts are changed, but everyone looks exhausted, the emotional weight weighs almost as much as the physicality of the task. When the sun starts to rise I can finally get a glimpse of something.

I'm standing quite a distance away, but I get a glimpse of a person being lifted, they seem drenched and even from this distance, I can see their face and body marred with blood. Skin is so pale that I swear you can see through it, her fingertips are starting to get a purple hue, her uniform is cut into pieces, and what still survived sticking close to her body.

As soon as she is pulled up I see people checking for her vitals, she is moved slowly, it is a gut-wrenching view but I can't look away. At the moment I’m happy that Edina and Lulu are not seeing this.

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The noise gets closer to me, the water gets stronger and I don't feel the strength to lift my head above the pool of water that now fills more than half of my small safe space. The only thing keeping me warm is my blood.

Water enters my nose with every breath, it tastes like rocks and coins, I try my best try pull strength from anywhere I can. It works, partially.

The cold is pushed away, I feel my body creaking as my head lifts ever so slowly, I cough some water out but I almost don’t feel it, my heart is slow and I can't breathe right.

My head is a little over the water and feels locked in place, even trying to move it feels useless but I can now breathe without drowning, after some short breaths I finally see some light, and as the rubble on my head is lifted slightly I can see legs.

The sleepiness was already terrible, but the moment I saw hope, the little strength in my body disappeared, my body remained stuck in place but my eyes started to close, it didn’t matter how much I tried I couldn’t stay awake, and when I tried to blink I couldn’t open my eyes again.