The Fall

A uniform void stretching endlessly in all directions. Somewhere in that vast emptiness a small, exposed soul was adrift.

Marie slowly opened her eyes drifting comfortably through the black void.

Where am I? she wondered in utter confusion unable to discern anything around her.

Overwhelmed by the lack of visual input and disturbed by the feeling of weightlessness, she tried to feel herself but soon realized that there was nothing to be touched or to touch with.

Her first instinct was to cry for help, but she managed to suppress it. What good would it do in her current bodiless predicament. She was certain no one would be able to help her get out of this mess. She would have to do it herself. But how?

Some time passed without any noticeable change in her situation, exactly how much time would have been hard to tell without external references such as a day and night cycle.

How will I ever get out of here? Marie started panicking.

As soon as the panic set in she became aware of a dreadful presence honing in on her. In the distance she could perceive giant ominous thunderclouds getting bigger by the second.

It’s coming for me she realized in terror. Not knowing how she knew.

The thunderclouds were producing an unnerving noise that rapidly gained in intensity.

Marie tried to get away but knew she was powerless and unable to change directions. Drifting around aimlessly she would soon be taken, the noise becoming overwhelmingly ear deafening.

In that very moment Marie had a firsthand experience of true terror.

Save me, she silently pleaded. I don’t want this she would have shouted if she had a mouth to shout with.

As the clouds engulfed her, she felt something strong grab her and pull her out just before she lost consciousness again.

Marie saw something moving behind her closed eyelids.

She also relished in the absence of the horrible noise she just escaped from.

Opening her eyes, she saw green leaves adorning a sturdy branch gently swaying in the wind.

Her next step was to sit up and take in the sights.

It seemed as if she was in a forest, or rather a very large garden but it was nothing like the gardens she knew of. It was wild and luxuriant, it would have suited an Emperor or a King.

It was also a strange garden lacking the natural sounds one expected from such a place.

Where are the bird sounds, or the sounds of rustling leaves, she wondered.

Basking in the warmth of the sun radiating on her skin she looked down and noticed she was totally naked.

Small scars could be seen running all over her arms and legs, a testimony to the harsh and grueling work she had to perform during her life that had been cut tragically short.

She suddenly bent over from a sharp burning pain throbbing in her lower abdomen. Her stomach contracted making her puke all over the green grass stretching beneath her.

With the pain came the memories.

Her childhood toiling away on the farm.

The feeling of being different and not fitting anywhere, of not being understood.

The little church where she hid from the scorching sun during the warmest summer hours.

The old disgusting pastor, pushing her down on the stone-cold altar. Using her small body in any way that pleased him. Right under the holy cross and the watchful eyes of the saints, who were unable or unwilling to help.

The shame and the treats, warning her to keep her mouth shut or to face the consequence for her sinful provocations.

Her first love, the girl who soon forgot about her.

The long procession of faceless bodies she had allowed inside of her, to spite her parents, to punish herself.

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Her father beating her like a dog for her promiscuity.

Her cowardly mother watching the beatings silently, not daring to intervene.

Her failure of a husband.

Her flight, the soldiers…

The pain became too intense. She was about to pass out. Marie fell on her back, her vision blacking out, her body convulsing under the waves of emotions that washed through her, pain and rage alternating each other like the slow swing of a pendulum.

Marie felt her sanity slowly slipping between her fingers, it would probably be better to surrender, to forget all of this until there was nothing left of her to forget.

Just as she was about to succumb, she felt a cool reassuring hand on her forehead.

She knew she was forgetting something. A feeble cry reached her ears.

Something small and precious beyond belief.

A name.

Elise

My daughter.

The pain slowly subsided. She was finally able to hear a strange voice coming from every direction at once.

A voice that was speaking to her, the words utterly undecipherable.

She tried to focus on the meaning on the words, realizing the meaning of those words were of lesser importance.

The importance of those words resided in the tone used and in the feelings they conveyed.

It was a motherly voice, a compassionate voice, full of soothing warmth.

Slowly she started to understand the words spoken to her.

.

My poor poor daughter…

What this world has done to you… it’s not right…

She finally saw the woman that was taking care of her.

She was beautiful and pale, with long fiery red hair, red lips and green eyes that were strikingly like hers.

The woman looked at her with unbridled affection.

Luckily, I was able to come for you before they did.

Who?

Them the woman sneered, his dogs. Listen carefully, what I’m going to tell you is of the utmost importance. We don’t have a lot of time.

“The Original path” has been closed to you. They will never allow you to take this path after what you did back there. Her tone didn’t really match the enormity of what she just proclaimed, however she seemed to approve of Marie’s actions.

So naturally you will have to make a choice…As always.

“The path of Oblivion”, the end of all suffering by removal from the Cycle.

“What does it mean exactly?”

It’s straightforward and just as I said, it’s simply the end.

Or

“The path of Suffering”, An obscure and thorny path with no guarantees of success.

What’s the purpose of this path?

You will have to figure that out for yourself, or rather you will have to choose the purpose, it’s a subtle but fundamental difference.

Will you send Marie back?

No, that’s impossible, you died the woman said calmly.

What do you mean then? Marie asked with an air of confusion on her face.

You will start anew, in a new world, of course there is a price to be paid. You will lose all your memories of your previous lives and of these events.

What good would it do then, if Marie loses herself.

If the fire burns bright enough within you; you will be able to regain that which you have lost. I think you will be able to change things for the better and by doing so you will prevent a lot of needless suffering.

Why would you do this for Marie?

Because you’re the one that bends but never breaks…

At the very end when people are lost and are at their most vulnerable, they lose all hope and their flame fades out of existence. But not you. You denied him!

Marie doesn’t understand…Him? Do you mean God???

Yahweh, Jehovah, Elohim, El-Shaddai, Adonai or any of the other names he gave himself she spat.

The liar, the manipulator or the enslaver would be more fitting.

Oh yes, everything that came out of him are lies used to manipulate and enslave the “lower” lifeforms.

Are you sure you don’t mean the devil?

The woman laughed; it was a laughter devoid of joy.

No, the devil died ages ago for daring to oppose him.

Who are you? Marie asked.

Sadly, I cannot tell you… But I have a feeling you will end up figuring everything out by yourself.

Will it hurt? Marie asked hesitatingly.

Oh…a lot. You will have to endure pain, suffering and shame beyond imagination, but in the end you will have a remote opportunity to get everything you wish for.

Will Marie be able to save her?

The woman showed a pained expression, maybe… Marie could clearly see the doubt in her eyes. Before the woman could add anything else Marie cut her short.

Marie will do it. Marie can’t accept this shitty world…

Her instant acceptance left the woman flabbergasted.

You will have to commit atrocities and boundlessly degrade yourself to get what you want and that's if you succeed… do you really understand all the implications resulting from your commitment.

Marie doesn’t care about the specifics. She will burn everything and even herself to the ground if it’s for her sake.

God, man or beast it’s all the same in her eyes.

Upon hearing this pride appeared on the woman’s face. Pure unaltered love engulfed Marie as the woman grabbed her in a tight hug, planting a fiery kiss on her lips.

After what felt like an eternity the woman let her go, leaving Marie unsteady on her feet.

Looking deeper in her eyes. She got the feeling she had known this woman all along.

You have made your choice…

Now listen carefully to what I’m going to tell you know, you will forget but it doesn’t matter, you have to hear this.

In your travels you will certainly hear a lot of bad things about me. Do not trust blindly. It is not all the truth.

I love you and I’m really sorry the woman said, her voice almost breaking from emotion. It was the first time Marie heard frailty coming from the woman’s voice. I hope you will one day find the strength to forgive me for what I’ve done…

Before Marie could reply the world started to fade and turned back to the all-devouring storm.

Turning towards the woman Marie noticed that the affectionate façade had been dropped. What was left was the most terrifying thing she had ever witnessed; it was far worse than the all-encompassing storm.

The woman angrily faced the incoming storm, her frail white appearance in stark contrast with the sheer magnitude of the unbridled violence.

“Hear… Sons of the liar… This one has once again denied you… In my name I will break her shackles…”

Upon hearing this Marie felt the excruciating pain of her being getting torn to shreds. It was not only her body but her very soul that was getting torn apart.

This pain was simply too much, Marie started wavering but ended up steadying herself, she had rekindled the memory of her deceased daughter, she would never know if it was her love for her daughter or her single-minded desire for vengeance that kept her on her feet.

“You will no longer hold dominion over her…” the woman shouted.

Before she lost consciousness, she could hear the woman roar:

“Go forth, Daughter of ….”