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Fowl Fantasy
The Barkbelt Arboretum

The Barkbelt Arboretum

Aldrich

“For the umpteenth time, woman. Watch. Your. Step.” I sighed. “I am not fetching you should you fall off the path, again.” I glared through my battered steel helm’s eye slits, my gaze thoroughly lost on the woman in front of me.

Said woman turned on me in a huff. “Shut up. You are only here because we needed a fourth.” She flipped her blond hair over her shoulder before she spun back around. I shook my head as I continued to follow her and her two cronies.

Her first crony, and first in our procession, was a mass of muscle, booze and hair in the form of a dark-skinned dwarf. He wore an iron breastplate over a leather tunic, which did little to hide his egregious muscles. On the dwarf’s bald head sat an iron pot helm. He carried a warhammer over his shoulder, having just used it to bash some poor jungle fauna that was minding its own business. His armour, hammer and black beard all had fresh blood splattered over them.

Second up was an elf. He was dressed in the stereotypical garb of a less-than-trustworthy rogue. Black cloak, black leather armour, black face wrap. The only skin he showed was around his eyes, hands and his ears, as he had cut holes in his hood for them to poke out. As stupid as that was, he wore gold jewelry all polished to a shine. Instead of tucking them away, he wore them over his armour and cloak. He had been flipping a dagger the entire time we were traveling. More than once he failed to catch it or it got stuck in an overhead branch.

As for the human woman… Well, she wouldn’t look out of place in any ‘adult entertainment’ establishment. Scarlet strapless dress that only just covered her enough to be decent for the public. Her cleavage was in full view, which was obviously what she wanted. Her dress came down to her mid thigh, hugging her form tightly. Any tighter and she would probably pop out of it. Her blond hair had gold rings and jewels braided in. The thing I found the stupidest about her was not her lack of armour, nor her bitchy attitude, not even her obvious lack of skill to be out this far. No, it was her heels. High heels. She wore fucking high heels to a jungle. It was one of the stupidest things I had ever seen, and I’ve been around for a while.

“Yeh, shut yer trap. We only hired ye to hit things, not ta talk.” The dwarf called from up front. I shook my head. It was unsurprising that he would take the woman’s side. I was confident that the two cronies were trying to get up her dress and she knew it. I conceded she knew how to use her body to her advantage. The two other men were salivating and almost tripping over each other when she was looking for adventures for this expedition.

I already regretted my decision of joining before we left the city. The woman had pushed all her ‘traveling supplies’ off on the three of us. I refused, but the other two were more than happy to do her bidding and carried or lugged her suitcases around. It was demeaning for any adventurer; but then again, these two weren’t the cream of the crop, nor were they thinking with their upstairs brain.

I shook my head. We continued down the isolated path until the sun was nearing the tops of the trees. It was still a while until sundown, but with the massive jungle trees, things got dark quick. We stopped on the road and started to set up camp. Traffic was light on the raised path, so we set up camp in the middle of it. It beat trying to find enough space between the trees. The dwarf and elf set up two single tents for themselves before they spent an hour raising a tent large enough for five to sleep with plenty of room. I, on the other hand, found a sturdy branch high above the road and climbed up to it.

The sun fell below the trees not long after we set up camp. The dwarf was roasting some kind of meat over the flames of a crude campfire. The elf was trying to eat some rations he had brought, but you get what you pay for and he payed for the cheapest. The woman, meanwhile, was hidden in her tent. She had a roaring fire going, if the smoke pouring out from a hole in the roof was any sign. I once again shook my head at all the unnecessary things she had brought.

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“Oi, human!” The dwarf was standing below me. I looked over the edge of my branch and down at him.

“What is it, Dergan?” I sighed.

“The Mistress wants ye to be watch for th’ night.”

“No, really?” I’d have rolled my eyes, if I could.

“Yep. Since ye don’t sleep an’ all.”

I sighed again, my sarcasm lost on muscle-for-brains. He was right, though. I didn’t need to sleep. It’s been… a long time since I had to.

“Ye ever gonna share why ye don’t need ta sleep?”

“No.”

“Why not? Ye hidin’ something?”

“Yes. We all are.”

He frowns as he took in my words. He opened his mouth to continue the conversation we had every night, but I was quicker. I used the heel of my steel greaves to pry a chunk of bark off my branch. I kicked it and it fell right on the mark. The jagged piece of bark fell directly into Dergan’s mouth. His face went red as he started to choke and cough. I looked over the branch again.

“Are you okay, Dergan?” I watched as he struggled to dislodge the bark. He flailed and beat on his chest. I watched with slight amusement as he finally swallowed the bark. Of course he would try to just swallow it instead of spitting it up.

“Am now. Damnit. Why’s the trees always gotta try to choke me.” He glared angrily at the tree I was on.

“I’m unsure, Dergan. Perhaps the trees really do not like dwarves after all.” I shrugged.

“Bah, tha’s just an ol’ wives tale. We conquered the trees long ago.” He puffed up his chest before walking back to his fire.

“Uh-huh…” I shook my head again.

Dwarves have a thing against trees. They think it’s an inferior material. Not just that, there is a folklore tale about a dwarven city being invaded by trees, so it’s a thing that most dwarves would rather be anywhere but near a tree. It did make for a good scapegoat when I wanted to fuck with Dergan. I chuckled to myself as I remembered dropping a large branch onto his head in revenge for nearly killing me. Good times. I leaned against the trunk of the tree and drifted into a meditative state. I could still sense my surroundings, so I wasn’t shirking my duties. It helped me stave off the boredom.

Time flew by as I was meditating, without incident. Well, that’s not exactly true. A jungle fox snuck into camp. I watched as it finished off Dergan’s haunch of meat he was saving for breakfast and then got into his ale. I nearly fell out of the tree trying to contain my laughter. The fox, now drunk, decided to mark it’s territory right on Dergan’s beard.

I hopped out of the tree once the sun was just peaking over the trees. The other three were already breaking camp. Dergan and the elf were doing all the work of course. The woman was off to the side, looking impatient.

“Hurry up, you buffoons. I would like to get to the dungeon before noon, today.” She screeched.

“Do not worry, we will be there well before then.” I approached her.

She huffs. “We better be. The only reason we took you over someone else was because you said you knew the way.”

“I do. I have been here before. A long time ago, but Zymer rarely changes fast.” I placed my left hand on the pommel of the longsword on my hip. It was a simple, steel longsword, but it was reliable and got the job done. It hung off a leather belt cinched around my waist. I glanced down at the plated chain mail armour I was wearing. I was still thoroughly happy with my purchase. It was sturdy dwarven steel with a simple clean and repair enchantments. I adjusted the helmet that covered my head. It completely masked my face, which is what I wanted. I preferred to keep my appearance to myself, as I’ve had trouble with people before over it.

“Hmpf. You better be right or you’re not getting the other half of your pay.” She turned her gaze on me.

“I’m not worried about that. I will get paid in the end, whether it’s by you, or by returning your corpses to the guild.” I shrugged. She scowled at me before walking off with a huff.

We were on the road again. Travel was boring, thankfully. We crested the hill and the dungeon came into view. Calling it a dungeon was a stretch, but that is what the Adventure Guild called any place that contained a dungeon core, even if said core was in the middle of a field, it was still a dungeon. This dungeon, the one sitting at the bottom of the crater we just climbed. The crater was ten kilometers in diameter and over 150 meters deep. Sitting on the bottom of the crater was a large glass dome. The dome was opaque and each glass panel was held together by a silver grid of metal. It extended past the top of the crater rim to about 200m in height. We were approaching from the east with the sun directly overhead. It was hard to look at the dome with the intense sun reflecting off of it.

“Here we are. Barkbelt Arboretum.” I said with a hint of nostalgia. “The place of one of my many deaths.”

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